


The First Cut is Always the Deepest

by erynnar



Series: Kai Cousland [2]
Category: Alistair Theirin - Fandom, Cousland - Fandom, DA - Fandom, DAO - Fandom, Dragon Age, Dragon Age Origins, Origin Story - Fandom, Video Games - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Pre-Dragon Age II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 118,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2127327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erynnar/pseuds/erynnar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to the story "Soulmates." Kaidana Cousland finds the life she knew destroyed in the blink of the Maker's eye. Recruited to the Grey Wardens and leading a group of misfits against the Blight. See how she got her start. And AU with Daveth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up. : )This is my origin story with my Cousland from the game but tied to my AU after the Blight story, so there will be more AU parts. And I went and made it more AU by keeping Daveth alive for a time after the joining. Thanks for joining Kai on her journey to becoming one of the heros of Ferelden, though she'd tell you it's Alistair who is, not her. Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcome. : )

**BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )**

_SPOILERS ALERT: For those who haven't played the human noble origin or read the books by the lovely Mr. Gaider, just an FYI for you.  That having been said, this is the other story I was going to start with.  Just a telling of my character's tale in game, with all the meat and emotional depth you can't always have or the game would never get made.  I had intended to write this one first, for those of my fans following "Soulmates," but that tale got has a hold of me and demanded to go first.  : )  So, this chapter has been sitting and languishing for a long time.  The muse wants what it wants.  I hope you enjoy this too.  : )_

_Blessings!_

_-_

Kaidana Cousland caught her reflection in the mirror-like side of the shield she was stacking in the armory ready to go with their soldiers leaving for Ostagar to fight with King Cailan. She gave the face in the shield a detailed inspection – black hair framed creamy skin, big blue eyes, high cheekbones, and full rosy lips.The face was, she supposed, that of a pretty noble woman.

Or it would have been just the pretty face of any spoiled noble woman, but for the delicate red brown tattoo on her forehead around her eyes and on her chin.The tattoo accentuated, rather than took away from her features she thought. Plus, it made her look less like a pampered pet and hopefully deterred some of those idiot noble spawn who looked at her as an object to bed or wed. It had also hurt like hell when she'd had it done.

Her mother was not pleased when she had seen it. Eleanor Cousland had been fit to be tied, as the saying went. Her mother was a battle maiden herself, yet she had objected strongly when she saw what Kai had done, once done, the tattoo could not be undone, so her mother had gotten used to it. As had Kai; so much so, she often forgot it was there until she caught a glimpse of her reflection as she had done just a moment ago.

It wasn't that everything she did was motivated by making herself less appealing to the other nobility and their sons, but to her mind it didn't hurt. Being the daughter and youngest child of one of only two remaining teyrns in all of Ferelden put her in the unwanted position of being second in rank only to the throne. This position made her an ideal catch for power hungry sycophants such as Arl Rendon Howe who would love for his son Thomas to be a part of her family. Kai snorted, when the Fade froze over and the Black City turned into an ice castle maybe.

Of course she had gone blissfully unaware of the petty scrabbling of the nobles and their eying her as a match until her sixteenth year. It was at a party, some _salon_ her mother had thrown where she had been discovered just how she was viewed by the other nobility. It was a rude awakening to say the least.

Kai had been forced to quit her weapons and martial arts training early to take a bath and get dressed. She had been shoved into toile and lace and told to mind her manners and try not to insult or intimidate the nobles' sons who asked her to dance. She had figured that the best way to fulfill her mother's wishes of politeness and avoid cowing the little gits was to employ a strategy worthy of her training. Her plan had been to hide so they couldn't ask her in the first place. She used her rogue skills, staying in the shadows and frequently changing her position. A moving target would be harder to catch by sweaty handed noble brats or her mother, whichever came first. It was in one of those darkened corners while she stood sweating and itching that she overheard one of the bann's wives speaking with her mother.

"My dear Eleanor, that daughter of yours is quite the tomboy and a real spit fire," the woman's voice held a hidden core of scorn wrapped in a layer of silken smoothness.

"Yes, she does remind me of myself I must admit," Kai’s mother replied. Although she couldn't see her, she heard the smile in it along with a small amount of exasperation and pride.

"So, have you picked out which nobles’ sons you intend to present her to? You and Bryce could cement your own influence in any number of ways, with the right marriage of course." The gooey way the bann's wife said _marriage_ made her skin crawl.

Kai remembered well her how loudly her heart had beaten in her chest and how she had broken out in a cold sweat. It had hit her then, like an arrow hitting the target, just how dangerous to her freedom this game the nobles played really was. She hadn't stayed to listen to her mother's response. From then on, she had vowed to be a warrior, not a wife, especially not a wife to some ladder climbing noble and his feckless brat.

So, she had gotten the tattoo from a Dalish elf, a man who left the Brecilian Forest and married a city elf in Highever. He practiced the art of the vallaslin or “blood writing.” She redoubled her efforts and worked twice as hard to prove herself in the arts of war and combat. She trained harder as a rogue than she ever had before. She even thought to try a shield like her brother, a fancy that passed quickly after she broke her arm in two places. She had finished that fight with fast footwork and one good arm, after that she continued to train to use her quickness and agility rather than brute strength. Archery along with her two daggers became a part of her routine, with sometimes a sword and dagger just for variety. The archery appeased Eleanor to some degree, as her mother was a master archer herself.

Kai'd had the good fortune to add an open handed martial arts form taught by a priest of the Qun all the way from Par Vollen to her already growing talents. The priest had been stuck at Highever during nasty spring storms and found her willingness to learn a great relief from the boredom of rainy Ferelden days. She was proud of her skills and what she had accomplished. There weren't many men who could best her on the field of combat, not even Fergus. She had worked hard to make it so.

Under Aldous, the tutor of the Cousland children, she studied strategy. The battle planning tactics of the Rebel Queen Moira, Arl Rendorn Guerrin and especially the best strategist in Ferelden history, Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir, the Hero of River Dane, became as much a mainstay of her reading for fun as for knowledge.

Unfortunately, even with all of that training and hard work she was going to be stuck at the castle while her older brother Fergus and Father went off to Ostagar to fight darkspawn. She tried not to think about it as she finished stacking the shields and armor and made her way to the Great Hall of Highever, her home, her _home,_ which she loved with all her heart, but right now it felt like a cage. She sighed and gave herself a mental head slap for going where she told herself not to go only a moment before.

It was in the Great Hall that she found her father talking with Arl Howe about riding out together like old times. She caught the tail end their friendly banter, something about having less gray in their hair then. Her father and Howe had fought together in the rebellion against The Usurper and Orlais alongside good King Maric. As with most members of the younger generation, she often thought of how exciting it must have been to ride into battle.

Howe, however, gave her the fidgets. She supposed the heat of battle and being one of fifty survivors of what had been a massacre of a large part of the rebellion at White River must have created a bond she would never understand. That experience was the only reason which Kai could imagine for her father’s befriending Arl Rendon Howe. Howe’s abrasive personality and his ambition had earned the man the dislike of his peers, including Maric and his son Cailan. 

Truth be told, Kai had always wondered why Howe pretended to like her father. The other nobles may have thought Bryce Cousland a fool for his fair treatment of the elves at Highever and for the way he treated those “beneath his station” with respect, but the nobles loved her father despite this. Well, all but the few like Bann Loren who fit in with Howe’s type. But the others did love and respect him, so much so that when Maric had drowned at sea, Bryce Cousland had come very close to being placed on the throne of Ferelden. Only her father's honor, honesty, and sense of fair play had him insisting Cailan be King. She knew Howe would have done no such thing. To Kai, Howe was as cold and slimy as a sea slug she and Fergus had found washed up on a rocky beach as children. He was the opposite of her father in every way. Howe sought power and recognition from the crown, and if the man had been better liked, the crown itself. Kai's father sought nothing more than to do his duty by his king and his countrymen. Many nobles called her father a fool for turning down the crown in whispers behind his back out of politeness, but Howe especially thought her father a cretin for his refusal of more power.

As she drew closer, the conversation turned from gray hair to an apology for the tardiness of soldiers due to be at Highever from Amaranthine, something to do with flooded levies. Kai had a moment to muse that even when Howe was supposedly seeking pardon, he hardly sounded apologetic at all. Kai listened as her father accepted Howe's excuse with his usual patient manner and set about adapting the original plan. Fergus and the soldiers of Highever would march to Ostagar without Howe's men. Her father would ride with Howe and his soldiers when they arrived on the morrow.

Kai felt a scowl forming on her face and quickly mastered it before Howe or her father had a chance to turn and see it. Her father was far more patient with Howe than she would have been, flooded levies my arse. More likely Howe hadn't equipped them properly. The man was notorious for treating his men at arms badly, underpaying and under equipping them. The city of Amaranthine had potholes in its streets and Vigil's Keep, the Howe home, was supposedly in a constant state of disrepair. Kai had no idea what Howe did with the money he received in taxes from his people, but one thing was certain, he didn't spend on running his arlship or improving the lives of those in his charge.

She entertained the uncharitable thought that maybe he spent it at the brothels in Denerim. That thought led almost as quickly to Kai’s pondering if there were enough money in all of Thedas that would have any prostitute willing to sleep with the likes of Rendon Howe. Kai almost blushed, and then felt nausea welling up at the thought of Howe naked.  _NOT GOING THERE!_  Kai gave herself the second mental head slap of the day. Not that Howe had any such problem imagining her or her mother naked, if the up and down leer the man bestowed upon them when they were in his presence was any indication.

_UGH!_  Kai was about to chastise herself once more, but she was interrupted from going further down that twisted and unpleasant internal road by her father's warm voice, "Ah hello, pup. I didn't see you there. Howe, you remember my daughter?"

Howe, whose face always reminded Kai of a ferret with those beady, hungry eyes, broke into a feral smile. "Ah yes, she has grown into a lovely young women. My son Thomas asks about you." Howe's slick voice was pitched low, his accent pulling his words longer at the end as if everything had a hidden meaning.

Kai remembered Thomas as a shy, skinny boy who had the unfortunate happenstance to look like a younger version of his father, but without the smarmy confidence. In fact if anything, Thomas had a tendency to be seen as “simple,” though Kai thought it might be due to the fact that Thomas seemed to be afraid of his own father. So afraid, in fact, that the lad would simply withdraw into himself and stare vacantly into space whenever Howe was around. The only one of the man's children who seemed to love the man at all was his son Nathaniel. And last she'd heard, Nate was in the Free Marches, training.

Kai shook herself from her contemplations as both Howe and her father were looking at her in expectation of an answer. Kai grabbed at the first thing to come to mind, "I thought he didn't like me." Actually, it was more like Thomas never noticed her one way or another. She could have been a dining room chair for all the attention Thomas had ever spared her in the times they had been forced to socialize together.

"Oh I am sure that was years ago and you were both younger. Things change. Though I will not hold out hope, I will admit I would not mind a match." Howe looked her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl. 

She would rather drop dead first. Kai smiled and kept from rolling her eyes, barely. Despite the fact that both the man and his son revolted her, she managed what she thought was a tactful reply, "We'll see." Her father broke in, thank the Maker, before her true emotions could show on her face.

"I doubt she'll be receptive, Howe. I'm afraid my fierce girl has her own ideas, Maker bless her." Her father's face lit up with a proud smile.

There was an awkward silence that Kai sought to fill in.She asked the first question that popped into her head, "So you and father rode together with King Maric?"

"Your Father never told you about those days? Oh yes, heady times! King Maric, large as life and twice as tall. The man knew how to take care of his friends. Cailan is certainly no Maric."

"I take it you don't like Cailan?" Kai cocked an eyebrow at Howe, surprised at the man's audacity.

'I think of Cailan as much as he thinks at all. Cailan is a fool who thinks only of legends and becoming one. Maric knew the true value of loyal service."

"Enough, Howe," Bryce Cousland's voice had become dangerously cool. "You speak of our King!"

Howe scowled like a chastised but unrepentant little boy, folding his arms across his chest. His voice was still pitched low, but still loud enough to be heard, "I only answered the question she asked me. As per the latitude you give her."

Kai's father dismissed Howe's comment and changed the subject. "Howe, we have a special guest I wanted you to meet. Duncan, a Grey Warden."

Kai felt her heart beat faster.  _A Grey Warden, here!_  She had of course read all about them and begged her tutor to teach her about the famous sect of warriors and knights. Only the best were asked to join the Grey. They were a fighting force to be reckoned with, heroes without equal who had saved Thedas many times. Her father had the utmost respect for them. Kai wondered if she would even be considered worthy of joining. For a brief wild moment, she imagined she was a Grey Warden being cheered by her parents and many others for slaying the darkspawn. Childish, she knew, but a Grey Warden! Maker, wouldn't that be grand?

She watched the swarthy, handsome, broad-shouldered man walking into the Hall from the doorway on the far side. He was extremely handsome to Kai's mind. He must have been a lady killer in his youth and had only aged like a fine wine. His face was covered by a thick beard, his dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. And did the man sport an earring in one ear? Take him out of the beautiful ornate armor and robes he wore and put him in leather, and he would look like a Rivaini pirate. Mother would love him; he was like one of those characters out of that steamy romance novel, _The Rose of Orlais_.

If Kai had thought him handsome for his looks, it was his voice that made him tip past the edge of sexy to fall right in. It was deep and smooth, and it caressed Kai's ears with its cadence. This voice contrasted starkly with Howe's voice, which had always set her teeth on edge. Kai had half a moment to develop a bit of a crush on the man and add it to her infatuation with becoming a Grey Warden.

It was Howe’s voice which once again had her grinding her molars until she thought her jaw would make noticeable popping noise. His smarmy tones interrupted her nice little lusty fantasy involving Duncan and becoming a Grey Warden in a private ceremony. Kai found herself sighing. "A Grey Warden?  Here?  Why?"

"Is there a problem, Howe?" Kai watched her father's eyebrows crease in irritation. Apparently, Howe was even wearing on his good nature.

"No, no, no!  It is just that I am unprepared for a guest of such importance. There are certain protocols for meeting people of such stature. I have no wish to insult your illustrious guest inadvertently." Howe put on a simpering smile that turned Kai's stomach. Kai again refrained from rolling her eyes, barely. Duncan must have caught her desire to do so, as he winked and gave her a half smile through his beard. Kai felt a giggle waiting to bubble up. She coughed to cover it, which had Duncan winking at her again.

"Pup, Duncan is here to recruit Ser Gilmore for the Grey Wardens to aid them in the upcoming battle." Bryce smiled at Duncan.

"Actually, I am also very interested in recruiting your daughter." Duncan looked at Kai once again. She caught a slight look of appraisal, and hope?

"You are interested in Kai?" Kai felt her heart racing with excitement. She really could be a Grey Warden then!

"I think I would like that very much!" Kai felt a grin stretching her lips wide. She caught Duncan’s hint of a smile, hidden mostly by his beard.

Then she felt the giddiness leave as quickly as it had started with her father's next statement, "I've not so many children that I'll gladly see them all off to battle. I am sorry, old friend. Not to mention that my lovely wife would have my head on a pike on the castle wall if I let you take Kai." Bryce grinned at Duncan. "You aren't planning on invoking The Right of Conscription?"

"Of course not, Bryce. We could use all the recruits we can get, but..." Duncan shrugged his shoulders. "I have no desire to cause diplomatic problems with a Teyrn, nor personal problems with an old friend." Duncan smiled at her father. But when he turned back to face her, Kai thought she saw different emotions warring with each other in the blink of an eye. What she saw chilled her more than a bucket of cold water from Highever Lake, for in that space no longer than a blink; Kai had seen disappointment, resignation and _fear_.

Things were that bad with the darkspawn after all? Maker! Kai's stomach felt as though it had glass in it. It took a moment for her to realize her father was speaking to her again, something about taking care of the castle and keeping peace in the region, would she do as he asked? She vaguely remembered nodding and telling him of course. She flashed a quick look at Duncan, whose face was immobile, but whose eyes seemed to be assessing her with a look of sharp discernment and a bit of awe, as if he had caught her reading him. She supposed it would be hard for most people to read him, being a Grey Warden and one of the best. He was no doubt required to wear that careful mask of neutrality quite often. She and Duncan stood looking at one another as if they were having an unspoken conversation. Kai swallowed and dipped her head ever so slightly to Duncan. When her father asked her to go and find Fergus to say goodbye, she simply nodded and turned to take her leave.


	2. Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow Kai on her journey to becoming a Grey Warden and stopping the Blight. And it's on to the library and bearding the lioness, one Nan by name, in her den. Enjoy the next chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all except what I created. : )
> 
> So, we have Kai and her first meeting with Duncan, oh yeah, and that snake in the grass Howe too, ROFL! : ) I hope you are all enjoying the origin of Kai. And those who have done the Noble Origin, well you will notice I take some small liberties to fill in and to fit with my character Kai who is in my other story “Soulmates”, on with the show!
> 
> And my shout outs go to deloris for putting this story on favs, and me on Author Alert, and to Kassandra Black for putting the story on alerts, and to Ladyamesindy for putting it on favs. 
> 
> And the most special shout out goes to Ladyamesindy and her story, “We Do What We Must,” about Bryce and Eleanor meeting and falling in love. For those crossover readers, you will recognize my use of her story for Kai, thanks sweet lady! Please check out her works, they are creative and wonderful reads.
> 
> And thank you all for reading and reviewing, my lurkers and reviewers, I appreciate you all so much! : )
> 
> Blessings!

Kai had turned to go, her emotions were in turmoil. Maker, it was worse than they all thought, Duncan’s face said it all, oh Fergus, oh Father! And then it struck her, she would be a Grey Warden. Father and Mother needed to be made to see how desperate things really were. She turned on her heel and went back to Duncan’s side. Kai made a quick motion to her father and Howe, begging to speak to Duncan for a brief moment, making some excuse about seeing to his needs as her guest.

She beckoned him over and she was relieved when he acquiesced and followed her to the side of the hall away from her father, Howe, and the guards in the room.

“I’m sorry, but I believe that your father wished to speak with the arl and myself alone.” Kai noted how he pitched his voice to sound like a stern parent.

“I was hoping to speak more with you at length, Ser Duncan.” Kai kept from smiling, barely, “May we speak later?”

“Your father has left you in charge of the castle? Your bidding is my duty, my lady. I will see you at dinner tomorrow, if not sooner.” He kept his face impassive but something seemed to be causing him a small amount of consternation. Kai figured, as she was often a source of distress to her mother that she was the source of Duncan’s pangs as well. She seemed to have that effect on people, only Fergus and her father seemed to take her personality in stride.

“I would prefer to speak with you sooner” she had a wild flight of fancy to ask him to her room tonight. Damn the man smelled good, like metal and leather and musky sweat, and he was even better looking up close. It made her want to giggle despite the circumstances. She knew she'd better reign in her raging hormones before she let things get out of control. The man would hardly be interested in a woman young enough to be his daughter.

“Then let us meet in the morning, I will seek you out before Ser Gilmore’s testing. Would that be sufficient?” His voice sounded like he was just keeping his annoyance under control. Kai knew she could be pig headed, she’d been told often enough by her mother. Though Eleanor always used the classier word, implacable, Kai gave a mental snort, stubborn as a Ceffyl more like.

“Yes that would be fine.” Kai started to turn away, but stopped herself. She put her hand on his arm and leaned in closer, pitching her voice lower, "I saw your face. I know it must be worse than they all know. You need more Grey Wardens Ser Duncan. I shall work on my father. You shall have me in your ranks. We Couslands always do our duty." She felt the muscles in his arm twitch under her fingertips almost as if her fingers burned his skin.

Kai smiled and winked at him before giving him a small salute. She turned on her heel to leave the Great Hall and she was so busy thinking about their future meeting that she almost ran smack into one of Howe’s guards.

Howe’s man was a sallow skinned fellow with a thin brown mustache and a sardonic look in his eyes, that he suited Howe perfectly, was the first thought to pop into her head. His voice only confirmed it. The tone was as smarmy as Howe’s own vocal emanations. The pitch was as gooey as the wives of the nobility, and he grinned when she drew back her arm quickly from the hand he put out to steady her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Greetings, my lady, you are the teryn’s daughter, are you not?” His grin widened.

“How is it that you know who I am?” Not that who I am is any of your damned business either, Kai thought in her own head. She surprised with her self-control at not giving utterance to that thought. She must be learning some self-restraint as she got older. Yay her, she huffed to herself.

“I am a member of Arl Howe’s personal guard. I understand you shall take charge of your father’s castle once we march?” The man’s smile took on a cynical twist with one side quirking higher than the other, his tongue darted out to one corner in a sick leer.

“So I’m told, yes,” Kai realized she had been balling her fists. The man’s attitude and voice were setting her teeth on edge.

“Ah, then I wish you luck.” And the man’s lips drew into even more of a sneer, “Good evening my lady.” He really was perfect for that reptile Rendon Howe. Kai felt cold, something was not right with this whole thing, but she couldn’t place her finger on it. She brushed past him, only to spare the room one last look. Howe, her father, Duncan all stood talking. Howe’s guards stood with their backs to her, the one she had just spoken to, turned and looked over his shoulder giving her a long lecherous leer and a wink. Something was definitely going on.

Kai put it out of her mind for now, she wanted to find Fergus and caution him that things were worse with these darkspawn than they all thought. She wanted to warn him to be extra careful. She didn’t have time for fulsome impertinent guards who worked for worms like Howe.

Hm, fulsome, Aldous her old tutor would be proud of her. Pondering on the old sage led to Kai thinking on books that Father and Fergus might like to have with them on their trip. Some were not so thick that they would bulk up their packs too badly. Since the Cousands were addicted to the written word, and as they both would be gone for a few months at the least, she thought they might like to have a few of their favorites. Kai decided to take a quick trip to the library.

Not wanting to go within close proximity of Howe’s men again, if she could help it, meant she would have to take the long way around. She went out the main double doors that lead to the courtyard and thus to the front gates of Highever castle.

Kai paused a moment to breathe in the fresh air and look at her cage... home, she chuckled to herself. She noticed the way the sun bounced off the grey stone at the tops of the parapets, and cast deep shadows from the walls as it they were living in a manmade canyon. She saw the leaves of the ivy, a striking green against the gray of the stones. And she breathed in the scent of stone and ivy, the wooden beams and the dog smell of her home. She was more determined than ever not to lose it to darkspawn. She would talk to Father again about being recruited, Andraste’s flaming knickers, he had to be made to see!

Kai was about to pass by a guard, who bid her good evening, and who stopped her to inform her that Mother Mallol was in the chapel and wanted to see her. Kai grunted and thanked the guard before turning back on her heel and going to the opposite side of the courtyard and to Highever Chapel.

Kai found herself in a room with a high ceiling, a large fireplace, pews, and the lectern with the Book of Light sitting upon it. Kai always found services a good time to take a nap, and quite frankly she found the idea of bothering the Maker with prayers as a presumption on a friendship if anything. One shouldn’t go around asking one’s friend to remove a boil from one’s... toe, or other such nonsense that people always seemed to pray for. It seemed to her that if there really was a Maker, people put the burdens of such small things on the poor creator’s doorstep unfairly. On the other hand she had always found it strange that an all-powerful, all knowing, Maker would not have known about the siege on his golden city long before it happened and stopped it. Why should everyone else, including the dwarves and elves, should suffer because of a few self-centered humans, especially, the long suffering Dwarves.

Of course all of Kai’s questions about why the Maker would hate the dwarves, forcing them to lose their empire, constantly fight the darkspawn, and be made to face possible extinction. Such questions always garnered the consternation of Mother Mallol, and even earned her the contempt of the Revered Mother, who had visited Highever once.

Kai often wondered if the old biddy’s one and only visit had been because of her, good riddance to bad garbage as far as Kai was concerned. She figured if the old bat couldn’t answer the simple questions of a ten year old, then the Maker’s fishwife ought to go back to theology school and come back when she could give real answers. And not empty platitudes which amounted to ‘just because the Maker made it so.’

Because of this Kai suspected mother Mallol was always annoyed with her on some level, and the fact that Kai found the Chant of Light so sodding boring, didn’t help matters she was sure. So it was a surprise to her that Mother Mallol wanted to see her.

Kai watched the Mother on bended knee while two soldiers, also on bended knees with hands clasped, praying to the Maker with the priestess. Not knowing how long this was to take, Kai gave a little cough to alert Mallol she was there. Mallol rose and after calling on the Maker to preserve the men, one of the soldiers uttered a frightened and heartfelt, “Maker!” loudly. Kai wanted to roll her eyes, better a sharpened sword, and good armor, and swift reflexes than asking the Maker to protect them.

Mother Mallol finally rose and asked if she was there to pray for her father and brother. Kai figured it wouldn’t hurt and it would keep Mother Mallol appeased, since Kai was going to be in charge of the castle, she really didn’t want to have Mother Mallol ask the Revered Mother to visit while her father was away as revenge.

Mother Mallol led the prayer, Kai mouthed the words as the soldiers and the priestess prayed, all while trying not to roll her eyes. When she had finished, Mother Mallol flashed her rare, happy smile and told her that no matter what happened to her father and Fergus, it was the Maker’s “plan.” Kai clenched her fists but managed not to say something rude, snarky, or inappropriate, her mother would be so proud. Two instances of diplomacy, and she managed not to embarrass the Cousland family name. Maybe the world was coming to an end, and the Maker had failed to warn everyone that her holding her tongue was a sign of it. Kai nodded to the priestess and made her way out of the chapel before she gave herself a chance to ruin her sterling record so far.

She was making her way past the outside wall of the Great Hall when she heard someone yell, “Wicked Grace! Aha! You owe me four sovereigns now Basil!” Curious, she turned left toward the family treasury and vault. It held their valuables, including the heirloom Cousland Family Sword. And it was where the family’s armor and weapons were all stored, including Iain’s shield, her father’s baby brother whom she had never met. He died at the Battle of White River in the rebellion against Orlais, her mother had originally been engaged to marry Uncle Iain, not Father. Instead he died and her mother saved her father from the battlefield and nurtured him back to health, and her parents had fallen in love and married. Meghren was finally defeated in a duel with Maric shortly thereafter, Orlais was routed and Ferelden freed. It was a romantic tale Kai and Fergus had loved hearing over and over again on Cousland Camaraderie Day.

When she entered the doorway to the ante room to the vault she saw two of the Cousland guards sitting at the table instead of at their posts beside the door leading to the vault. The man facing her saw her and his grin left his face, “I am so sorry mi’lady! We were just...”

“Taking a break,” Kai laughed.

“Beggin’ yer pardon mi’lady, but the door is thick oak and locked to boot. Unless someone brings in a battering ram, there is no way to get through it without the key, a key only...”

“Only my mother the teryna and my father the teryn possess, I know. Carry on playing cards, erm as you were, I won’t say anything.” Kai grinned and gave them a wink.

“Mi’lady is too kind”, and with that the man blushed and sat back down to face his fellow.

Kai grinned to herself. It must be sodding boring to stand guarding a locked door. She walked back the way she had come and up towards the library. She was just about to open the library door when Ser Gilmore’s blazing red hair caught her attention as he ran up.

Ser Gilmore had been a childhood friend to her and Fergus since he’d been sent to Highever as a squire. He was a child of a lesser noble, a Bann whose rulership was really a large farm hold. Kai, once in her early teens had a terrible crush on Ser Gilmore, but he never told her how he really felt about her. Flirting had never garnered anything more than flushes and stuttering back then, and things were no different now. He would blush and stammer, and follow her trying to keep her out of trouble, which was a full time job, a job also attempted by Nan, Fergus, and her mother, by her father, not so much.

So, she lost her virginity to the stable boy Jago instead, which was just as well she supposed. Both she and Jago had known their affair would go nowhere, no matter how much latitude her parents gave her. Jago had been a fun and pleasurable person to get the painful and shocking part of those first sexual encounters out of the way. With Ser Gilmore, Kai thought she might have been able to fall in love, or have her heart broken by him at any rate, since he never seemed to act as anything more than the level head to talk Kai out of her more dangerous stunts as a child, her red headed conscience. Kai figured he really felt towards her like a brother, or a cousin. So she had stayed friends with him, and flirted wildly with him as it seemed to cause him such distress, which she found immensely funny.

“There you are, your mother told me the teyrn summoned you, I was afraid of interrupting.” The sun lit up his head from behind giving him a halo around that fiery red hair, lighting up his sea green eyes which always caught her attention, their color was so unusual.

“Hello to you too Ser Gilmore,” Kai grinned at him causing him to give her a nervous chuckle and mumble something that ended in, my lady.

“I’m afraid your hound...Argus, is causing an uproar again, Nan is threatening to leave.” He gave her a nervous smile that mirrored his laugh from only a moment before.

“Oh Gilly,” Kai laughed, enjoying the blush that crept up Ser Gilmore’s neck and onto his face with her use of the childhood pet name she had for him. “Nan was my nanny before she was the cook, she won’t leave.”

“Well, your mother disagrees, and she wants you to collect your dog.” Kai watched Ser Gilmore shuffle his feet and look down, “You know these mabari hounds, he’ll listen to his mistress, but anyone else risks having their arm taken off.”

“Oh Gilly, he knows better than to hurt anyone” Kai grinned at him.

“I am not willing to test that myself, even if I have been around him since we were kids. You’re lucky to have your own war hound, smart enough not to talk, my ‘da always said.” The handsome knight grinned back at her, “Of course that means they’re easily bored, if you ask Nan, she swears he confounds her just to amuse himself.” Gilmore joined Kai in laughing this time.

“Of that I have no doubt my dear Gilly,” Kai winked at him, she noticed he blushed harder this time, until his ears were red as well.

“At any rate, your mother would have me accompany you until the matter is settled, shall we?” He made a sweeping gesture with one well-muscled arm. Kai huffed, Mother apparently thought she was still ten and likely to go off climbing apple trees and forget about saving Nan’s larder, of course, that wasn’t a bad idea...

She was snapped out of her day dreaming, in which she grabbed a bottle of mead and a book and went to the garden next to the apple orchard, by Ser Gilmore’s hand on her arm. “May I beg a question my lady? I have been hearing rumors around that a Grey Warden is here, is that true?” His voice sounded hopeful.

“It is, his name is Duncan, I met him.”

“Is it also true that he is asking after me?” His hand gripped her arm as if to make sure the world were solid and this wasn’t a dream.

“He intends to test you for recruitment,” Kai nodded at him.

“Maker’s breath, a Grey Warden, can you imagine? It would be everything I dreamed of, well almost everything. Of course I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, pardon my outburst.”

“Silly Gilly,” Kai used another childhood favorite, which caused him to blush the same red as a tomato. “I know mum wanted me to collect Argus, but I’m on a mission, I want to get some of Father and Fergus’s favorite books for them for their trip. So a quick stop in the library before we go to the larder.”

“My lady, I think we should just go to the kitchens straight away...”

Kai put a hand on his arm and kissed his cheek, “Gilly, Nan is exaggerating, Argus would not be eating the food in the larder, he knows better. And it will only take a moment, I promise, please Gilly willy?” Kai knew she was milking it for all it was worth, and truth be told she only used “feminine wiles” on Ser Gilmore because she loved how it made him stammer and blush. To see him agreeing to whatever she asked was a small side benefit, even if they didn’t work she would just do what she wanted and he would follow as he had since they were children. Why not make it more fun that was her motto.

Kai didn’t’ even wait to see if he followed or not as she turned and walked through the doorway to the library and turned left to go to her father’s private study. She barely made it to the study door when an all too familiar voice rang out calling her by name, damn, had she said this was going to be quick? Kai groaned inwardly, but she pasted a smile on her face and turned back to the main room of the library and towards the source of the voice.

Aldous, whose hair seemed to get grayer and his beard longer every time she saw him, stood with two very bored looking boys. “Young lady, would you care to help me give the history lesson of the Couslands to these two reprobates?” Kai thought she heard him mumble something about reminding him of her at that age, Kai cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

“Aw, do we have to, history is boring!” One of the lads grumbled out loud, his mistake, Kai could have told him that.

“I will have you know that it is the history of the family that is squiring you!” Aldous’ face began to get red, “I will not have you turning into smart mouthed hooligans!”

Kai whispered out of the corner of her mouth at Ser Gilmore, “Hooligans who do shenanigans!” And she heard Gilmore stifling a laugh trying to cover it with a cough.

Kai interrupted before the old man could give himself a stroke, she started with the Black Age and the Lycanthrope plague, which got Aldous started. The only problem was getting him to stop again. Though one bit of history she had not known was that they hung Rendon Howe’s father Tarleton Howe at Harper’s Ford. When the old sage seemed to finally, Maker’s breath, be winding down she was complimented on the fact that some of his lessons didn't disappear into that yawning chasm between her ears. Kai thought to return the favor as she sarcastically told him that it was due to his skill as a teacher, and to which he replied that if he was such a great tutor, he wouldn’t have such insouciance in his pupils. He then told her she could go look that word up, the smart-alecky old bugger.

Kai rolled her eyes as her old teacher went off to sleep in a corner, and she and Gilmore continued on the way she’d come. She gathered the books and put them into stacks, one for Father and one for Fergus, before she grabbed the librarian and bid him to see the stacks delivered immediately to the family’s quarters, especially to Fergus, as he would be leaving tonight.

She bid Ser Gilmore to follow her with a smile and they made their way toward the kitchens. As they drew nearer, Kai could hear that Nan was in fine form, “Get that bloody hound out of my larder!” Nan stood using her powerful set of lungs on the two elven servants who cowered before her.

“But mistress, he will eat our faces off, we can’t go near him!” The young elven woman put a hand to her cheek as if Argus had already taken a chunk out of it.

Ser Gilmore tried to soothe the blustering cook, “Now my good woman, calm down. We’re here to help, I brought Kai.”

Kai watched her old beloved nanny turn with her ‘gorgon’ look upon her face. Kai knew that look very, very well, “You, and you, your bloody mongrel keeps getting into my larder! That beast should be put down! “

“Nan, he isn’t a mongrel, he is a full blooded mabari,” Kai feigned being insulted.

“A Blight wolf is what he is! That’s it, tell your mother I will quit and go work for some nice estate in Bannorn.” Nan crossed her arms across her chest scowling more.

Kai laughed, “Oh Nan, you know you would never leave us, an estate in the Bannorn would be so boring!” She kissed Nan’s old wrinkled cheek and gave the old woman her most saucy smile.

Nan who had seen that brazen grin before, merely hrumpffed and turned to the servants once again, “Stop standing there like idiots get out of the way!” She made shooing motions with her hands.

As Kai neared the larder door she heard the crashing of crockery and angry barking, blast! It sounded like Argus really was going through the room like a horde of darkspawn. He usually just cast sad eyes and whined to get a snack from Nan, or her, he wasn’t prone to breaking things. Mother would have both their hides nailed to the castle wall.

Kai grasped the cold iron handle and swung the heavy oak door open, there stood Argus, doing what Kai called his ‘rabbit’ impression, and bouncing up and down.

“Look at that mess how did he even get in here?” Ser Gilmore raised fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose. Argus turned towards her his tongue lolled out of his mouth in a goofy doggy grin before he barked at her again.

“Are you trying to tell me something, boy?” Kai bent down to scratch him under the chin and he licked her hand with his long wet tongue and barked again, resuming his bouncing and twirling.

“It certainly is like he wants to tell us something. Wait do you hear that noise?” Ser Gilmore spun on his heel, peering into the darkened corners of the larders. Kai heard a scratching noise and low squeaking, like a spinning wheel Nan used that always needed to be oiled.

“Quick shut the door Gilly, we don’t want them getting out into the kitchen!” Kai pulled out her daggers. She’d seen their red light of the lantern reflecting off multiple pairs of eyes. Argus growled low in his throat.

“What is....” anything else Ser Gilmore was about to say was lost as many gray-brown furred bodies swarmed the three of them standing in the middle of the larder. They came from the shadows, sharp claws scrabbling on the stone. Sharp, yellow curved, were teeth bared. She had a moment to warn Ser Gilmore before her blades, and proverbial and literal, fur began to fly.


	3. Mabari & Nan & Rats, Oh My!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai assuages Nan, meets up with her mother and her friend, along with a surprise. A blast from her past...could it become more despite time and distance?

Well, if the larder wasn’t a mess with Argus busting the crockery, it certainly was now. The floor was littered with the bloodied and broken bodies of a dozen or so large rats. Maker! That was a lot of blood and mess. Kai looked around. Gilly was wiping his sword blade with what looked like one of Nan’s dish towels. Oh my! Kai was not going to say anything about him doing that.  Nan would have his hide on the kitchen wall if she found out. Kai grabbed the rag from him before he could put it down on one of the tables and wiped down her own blades afterwards she wiped Argus’s bloody mouth for good measure.

 

“That was like the start of every bad adventure tale my grandfather used to tell me about.  Argus must have chased them in through their holes.”

 

“Those were some really big rats. Good thing I had my knight in shining armor to help me, right Ser Gilly?” Kai grinned at him and winked, causing GIlmore’s face to match his hair. Argus let out a loud bark. “And my faithful war hound as well! I could never forget you my stalwart friend!” Kai laughed and scratched Argus behind the mabari’s pointed ears. She grinned to see him close his eyes in doggy ecstasy.

 

“Yes, well, ehem...they were rats from the Kocari Wilds, my grandfather used to speak of them.  I am going to go now that you have everything in hand here Ka- My lady. I need to prepare for the arrival of more of the Arl’s men.” GIlmore stammered at her. Kai found herself laughing harder but she kissed him on the cheek delighting in the way his skin flushed more.

 

“All knights in shining armor deserve a reward from the maiden for their daring rescue, no?”  Kai grinned harder at him. “See you later Ser GIlly.”  He blushed more, gave her a small smile and turned to go.

 

Before he was through the door he turned back to her. “You know my lady, if I were Duncan I would pick you.” He then turned and left before she could reply.

 

Kai shook her head, “Well come on boy, time to beard the dragon in her den! Nan was yelling loud enough they could have heard her at the top of Dragon’s Peak.” Kai made sure she said this last bit as she and Argus entered the kitchen.

 

“I heard that, Imp!”  Nan turned to look the both of them over, her arms crossed, her face set in her ‘gorgon’ look. “There he is, brazen as his mistress, licking his chops after helping himself to the roast no doubt!”

 

Kai let out a laugh and kissed the old woman once again. “Oh Nan, it wasn’t the roast Argus was after, it was the rats in the larder, sodding big rats too.”

 

One of Nan’s assistants gasped putting a hand to her face. “Not the big gray ones!” Kai tried not to giggle.  First the girl was afraid Argus would take off her face, now rats.

 

The male assistant’s voice raised a decibel. “Those will eat your face off they will!” What was this obsession with their faces? Kai wondered before she felt, as well as heard, Nan’s voice addressing her once more.

 

“See now you’ve gone and scared the servants! I expect those filthy things are all dead?” Nan scowled at her.

 

Kai laughed and nodded putting a hand on Argus’s head. “Yep, Argus took care of them Nan, he is your hero, your knight in doggy skin.” Kai winked at Argus before she turned back to Nan with a grin.

 

“Humpf, I bet he chased them in there.” Kai watched Argus focus on Nan with his big brown eyes giving her a whine for good measure. “Oh don’t give me the sad eyes I am immune to your charms.” Nan narrowed her eyes.

 

Argus looked up a Kai briefly. She shrugged and winked at Argus who turned back to Nan pinning her with his saddest ‘puppy dog’ looks yet while whining with a head tilt for added emphasis.

 

“Ach, here are some pork bits, don’t say old Nan never gave you anything.” She turned her wrinkled scowl on Kai. “And don’t think, Imp that I didn’t notice you and he were ganging up on me either. I may be old, but I’m not blind or struck stupid.”

 

Kai laughed and hugged Nan around her thin shoulders. Behind Nan’s back she motioned to the male elf and gave him the bloody dish towel she had balled up in her fist while motioning with her eyes towards the roaring fire in the fireplace. He grinned and nodded throwing the bloody cloth in under the logs and poking it as far into the flames as possible with the poker.

 

“Since I helped vanquish our unwanted furry guests, does this mean I get a reward of food too? And don’t say I can have pork bits.” Kai stepped back to look Nan in the face.

 

“I suppose you want those sweet buns you’re so fond of for desert then do you?” Nan huffed putting her hands on her hips. “I suppose I could do that, Imp. Now get out of my kitchen I have a ton of work to do and these lazy servants to skin if they don’t get a move on! NAILS, HIDES, WALLS!” This last part was directed at the two elven assistants. Kai heard one grumble something about ‘old bat’ under his breath.

 

She kissed the old wrinkled cheek, whispering, “I love you Nan,” into her ear before walking towards the door.

 

“Imp, you remember that story of Hohaku?” Kai turned to see her old nanny in her faded pink dress, arms crossed, lit by firelight. Kai nodded, “You remember the lesson from it?”

 

Again, Kai nodded, “How we treat the least, is judged by the greatest.”

 

“See that you don’t forget it, Imp.” Kai grinned and blew her a kiss while nodding. “Oh, and you owe me another dish towel.” With that Nan turned back barking orders about cleaning hearths and not dropping food on the floor. Kai took one more moment to grin at Nan’s back before motioning for Argus to follow her through the door.

 

Kai figured she ought to go look for Fergus as her father had suggested. Kai walked down the corridor and around the corner past the dining hall towards the junction to the the ramp leading to the atrium. As she approached the corner leading to the little alcove with couches, tables, and potted plants for the family to relax outside their living quarters; Kai heard her mother’s lovely low voice speaking with someone about the dress Father had brought back from his trip to Orlais.

 

Father had been sent on a diplomatic mission on behalf of King Cailan. While he was there a drunken Marquis had mistaken him for the king and given him the newest Orlesian fashion as a gift for his wife. Father being honorable and honest had told Cailan about the gift of the dress and he had tried to give it to the king to give to Queen Anora. But the king had clapped her father on the back, thanked him for his mission, and told him to take it home to Kai’s lovely mother instead.

 

Kai had to stifle a giggle. Eleanor Cousland spent almost as much time in leather armor as her daughter. And if she spent less time in the training area, it was because she had a castle to run. A castle to run...Kai suspected she too would have less time for weapons practice for the months Father and Fergus were away.

 

Kai turned the corner to see her mother, whose age had only added layers of polish to the beauty she had been in her youth. She was wearing that silken get up from Orlais and speaking to Lady Landra. An elven servant stood shyly behind her mother’s friend and...Kai’s heart began to beat faster.

 

Was that Dairren? He had been abroad studying in Antiva through connections Father had by way of her sister-in-law, Oriana's family. Kai hadn’t seen him for about five years now, almost six. When they were children, he had been a skinny child with his head always in a book. She had dissuaded the bigger bullying noble boys from picking on him and made sure they understood, in no uncertain terms, that the bullying best not happen away from Highever either. Kai could never stand to see someone perceived as weaker being picked on by those seen as ‘stronger.’ The story of Hohaku was to blame for that she supposed.Maker, love Nan and her stories!

 

Well, Dairren could obviously take care of himself now. He had filled out in all the right places, broad shoulders, muscular chest, and strong arms. Apparently, while in Antiva, he had not just worked on his mind. Kai had always loved discussing books with him. And he had been a good companion, the times they had been together due to their parents’ political duties, and when his mother visited them bringing him with her. They had both been the odd ducks amongst the so called ‘swans’ of the nobility. When he had left she had been sad to see him go. Parties and Landsmeets were certainly more boring as she often found herself alone. They had corresponded for a while, but that had fallen off as such things often do, even if people mean to keep it up.

 

And here he was. He probably didn’t even remember her. Kai felt a pang of disappointment at the thought, a quick little pinching feeling in her chest, which surprised her. She continued forward as her mother turned from her company to see her drawing close.

 

“Ah, here is my lovely daughter. I take it from the presence of Argus that the situation in the kitchen is handled?” Eleanor raised an eyebrow as if to say, ‘do be careful what you say in front of these people.’

 

Kai found she couldn’t resist. Nan didn’t call her ‘Imp’ for nothing after all, “Yes, mother, there were giant rats in the larder.” She felt her lips twitching, even as she pressed them together, and watched as her mother’s eyebrow shot even further up her forehead.

 

“Ah, marvelous, just the thing for my guests to hear right before dinner, Darling, surely you remember Lady Landra?” Kai could hear the, ‘oh you scamp’ in her mother’s ‘darling.’

 

Kai turned to the tired and worn out looking woman before her. Kai knew that Lady Landra was a very sweet and unhappy woman. The exact source of her unhappiness was her husband, and thus she was a shining example to Kai, why one should never get married for political reasons.Lady Landra’s unhappiness was often replaced by drink, and lots of it.  She often arrived at the parties and salons vertical, and often left them horizontal.

 

As Kai had met Lady Landra’s husband, Dairren’s father, she didn’t begrudge the woman her drinking one bit. In fact, after meeting Dairren’s father, Kai was surprised that Lady Landra didn’t find a vat somewhere to drown in. It was hard to believe that someone as sweet as Dairren could have sprung from the sire he had. But he took after his mother, despite his sire’s contribution. She wondered if any of the little boy remained in the handsome man before her.

 

Her mother coughed getting her attention. She realized she had been gazing at Dairren, and he had been appraising her as well. Kai turned back to Lady Landra, “Of course good to see you again, my lady. It has been too long since last we met, my mother’s Spring salon, yes?” Kai could feel her mother’s smile of approval, for her tone and for her sudden appearance of manners.

 

Lady Landra gave her a small laugh, “You are too kind my dear girl. Didn’t I spend half the salon trying to convince you to marry my son?”

 

Dairren broke in looking at Kai with a sheepish grin, “And making a very poor case for it, I have no doubt.”

 

Lady Landra went on in her soft and breathy voice as if Dairren had said nothing, “You remember my son, he isn’t married yet either.” Kai had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing at the expression on Dairren’s face. He looked mortified.

 

“Don’t listen to her. It’s good to see you again, my lady. You’re looking as beautiful as ever.” Kai watched his eyes which stayed on hers, rather than resting in the region below her chin as so many noblemen’s eyes seemed wont to do. She felt a fluttering well... in different places, and she found herself biting her lower lip for entirely different reasons than mirth.

 

“You’re looking rather handsome yourself.” Kai couldn’t help but blurt that out. Maker! Could she be more awkward? Luckily for he didn’t seem to notice her bumbling attempt at flattery, Dairren flushed and his gaze became more intent than before.

 

Then the world came back into focus, as Kai realized Lady Landra had been speaking. Her voice registered with Kai’s ears and she realized that the elvan servant was being introduced as Lady Landra’s lady in waiting, Iona. “Do say something dear!”   

 

“You are as beautiful as your mother describes, my lady.” The woman’s voice was lilting and lovely. Kai smiled at her and bobbed her head in acknowledgement. She wanted to roll her eyes. Oh Mother, really!

 

“You would think that it would make it easier, not harder, to find her a husband and marry her off.” Kai heard her mother voicing an age old argument. She sighed to herself. It was what Dairren said next that made her heart beat faster as he looked at her with eyes that sparkled.

 

“Perhaps your daughter has a mind of her own. You should be proud, my lady.” Dairren smiled at Kai and winked. She found herself grinning back.

 

As much as Dairren’s statement had her heart racing, her mother’s reply had her blood churning. “Proud doesn’t get me any more grandchildren.”

 

Kai opted to ignore this; otherwise her and her mother might get into their old argument about the role of noblewomen as baby factories. Those ‘discussions’ never ended well. “Perhaps we should speak alone sometime, Dairren?”

 

Her heart beat faster as he looked her in the eyes, “I would like that, my lady.” And the way his voice softened and deepened when he said ‘my lady,’ was sending shivers down her spine. Kai was still looking at Dairren and hardly heard when his mother excused herself to go her room and said something about seeing him at supper. Dairren with one more appraising and meaningful look said he would be in the library. Iona followed him, as did Kai’s eyes as he walked downstairs and around the corner.

 

 


	4. Of Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai and sweet Dairren, her childhood friend get reacquainted to learn to play more...age appropriate games?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. Thank you for your support, your comments, your kudos. They mean so much to me. I hope you enjoy the story. Next chapter, the steamy and smexy!

Lady Landra had excused herself to go to her quarters to “rest.” Kai suspected such a rest included some of the alcohol the poor soul often had secreted in her bags when she traveled, so Kai found herself alone with her mother.

 

“You should go and see Fergus while you have the chance.” Her mother stroked her cheek and smiled at her.

 

Kai smiled back but she knew her next statement would make it disappear just as quickly, “Why can’t I go with Father and Fergus?” Kai watched her mother’s face turn pensive.

 

“I know it is difficult to stay in the castle and watch the others ride out, especially when you have trained so long and hard. But we must do our duty first. You understand that don’t you? We Cousands-”

 

“We always do our duty. Yes Mother, I know. But what if they fall without me?” Kai’s stomach felt like ice. She didn’t want to think of them falling in battle, it hurt too much.

 

“It’s in the Maker’s hands now; we must cope as best we can.” Eleanor’s hand reached out and rubbed Kai’s arm.

 

“I know Mother; I just have a bad feeling about all of this.” Kai couldn’t help the shivers that ran up and down her spine like newly hatched spiders. She kept thinking of Duncan’s face in the Great Hall only moments before.

 

Her mother looked at her with an expression that, Kai mused, probably matched her own, “As do I, your father and brother are going off to fight Maker knows what. But it wouldn’t help for us to take up arms and follow. They have their duty and we have ours, darling.” Her mother gave her a brave smile.

 

“Aren’t you staying at the castle?” Kai had a moment of dread at her mother’s next words.

 

“For a few days, then I will travel with Lady Landra to her estate and stay with her for a short while. You know she can use these short escapes from Bann Loren, but she always has to go back. She could use the company. Besides, your father thinks having me here would undermine your authority.”  Her mother gave her a reassuring smile.

 

Kai gulped and she could feel a cold sweat snaking along her skin. Maker, she was going to be running this place all by herself? Andraste’s ass, she couldn’t run her clothes to the hamper, or so Nan used to say. And then it really struck home at this moment like no other, she was going to be ruler of Highever, even if only for a little while. Father really had put her in charge, oh my!

 

“I don’t think you should go Mother.” Kai tried to keep her stomach from floating up into her throat.

 

“Don’t worry my dear, it won’t be for long, and you’ll do just fine.”

 

Kai thought she better changed the subject before she found herself running screaming from the castle in a panic, “Did you know there is a Grey Warden here?”

 

“Yes, your father mentioned that Duncan was coming to visit us. You haven’t gotten it in your head that you want to be recruited, have you?” Kai watched her mother’s face form an expression of concern, and fear? Like Duncan’s face it was only there for a moment, before it settled into a more stern countenance.

 

“Mother, the darkspawn have returned. Grey Wardens are needed.” Kai’s mind’s eye flashed to Duncan’s handsome and worried face.

 

“There is enough here at the castle to occupy you Kaidana! I don’t need you off chasing danger like your brother!” It was then that Kai hear the desperate love in her mother’s voice.

 

Kai smiled to reassure her as she reached out and rubbed her mother’s arm, returning Eleanor’s earlier gesture, “Do you know where Fergus might be?”

 

“If he is not out with his men probably upstairs with Oriana and Oren I should think.” Eleanor gave a brief glance up the ramp towards their living quarters before turning back to Kai.

 

“I should go, mamae.” Kai had always loved the elven word for ‘mother.’ She had had a few elven friends as she grew up. Her best friend had taught her that word—before she’d been run over by a noble’s carriage when they were ten. But the word had stuck as Kai’s pet name she used only in private. And Kai liked it as a loving and casual title for Eleanor, a lot more than ‘momma.’  Mamae had always sounded beautiful and exotic, like Eleanor herself. They may have their differences, both being stubborn--implacable rather--women. But Kai loved her mother, and now the both had something else in common. Fear and worry for Father and Fergus.

 

“I love you, my darling girl. You know that, don’t you?” Eleanor reached out and hugged her tight.

 

“I love you too, mamae, so very much.” Kai kissed her mother on her cheek. “I will miss you while you’re gone.”

 

“Go do you what you must then I will see you soon.” Eleanor gave her a wink and a nod down the ramp in the direction of the library where Dairren had gone. Kai laughed and shook her head. She waved at her mother and went down the ramp to make her way back to the library.

 

Kai walked in to find the two young squires sitting at a table drawing images of war and battles and darkspawn, and even one she thought might be King Calian with a crown and a sword. The boys had books opened before them and if Aldous snorted as if he were waking the boys would quickly grab the nearest book and pretend they were reading while taking notes. Kai stifled a laugh and winked at them as she went on by.

 

Funny, her palms were sweating.  Kai walked into what used to be her Grandfather Malcolm’s study and office (and Kai suspected his oasis when running Highever got to be too much) and was now her father’s. She supposed that one day it would be Fergus’s.

 

Dairren stood there; he really had grown into a handsome man. Kai found herself admiring his broad shoulders and muscular chest once more. She was broken from her ogling, and she realized she had been doing just that, Makers breath, by Dairren’s deep voice, “Hello, again.  Your castle’s study is wonderful!  Might I ask whose collection it is?”

 

Kai blushed, “It was my grandfather’s, but I often come here to read.”

 

What he said next had her grinning at him, “I would too, and this collection is amazing! Do you have a favorite?”

 

“Well, I enjoy ‘The Dragons of Tevinter,’ by Brother Timious.” Kai looked away, why was she feeling so awkward?  He was an old friend from childhood. They used to play together for the Maker’s sake! Maybe because the ‘playing’ she had in mind was nothing like they did as children? Kai wanted to giggle.

 

“Good choice! Timious’s theory on the nature of dragons and how they connect to darkspawn is intriguing.” Dairren’s eyes seemed to rest on her with respect and attraction? Kai felt herself with the desire to fidget. Was it getting warm in here? She fought the urge to fan herself.

 

Kai needed a distraction. Her brain hit on the last thing he said, darkspawn, “Do you know anything about the Grey Wardens?”

 

“No more than anyone else. Is it true there is one in the castle? Have you met him?” Dairren’s face lit up. Kai imagined her face must have looked the same when her father introduced Duncan to her. She wanted to laugh at the both of them, like kids on Wintersday waiting to open gifts.

 

“It’s true. I’ve met him. He has quite a presence. And he is the Warden Commander of Ferelden no less, the best of the best.”

 

“I’d join the Grey Wardens in a heartbeat. But I’d never gain the Grey Warden’s notice. I’ll have to be happy under your father’s command.” His voice sounded wistful and Kai caught the image of the shy, sad, skinny little boy with his nose always in a book.

 

Kai was flushed with anger for her childhood friend. Bullied by the other nobles’ sons, and treated with indifference by a “man’s man” of a father who could never understand a son who used his brains for something other than keeping his ears from clanking together. Then he had been sent away, gladly, to Antiva to study, as he was an embarrassment to his sire.

 

“Of course they would take you!  Maybe you should ask Duncan to test you at Ostagar. He will be there for the battle. He is to test Ser Gilmore then go there after. You could ask him while you’re there.” Kai put a hand on his arm feeling the warmth and the hard muscles underneath the cloth.

 

She pulled her hand back, flushed, and looked down, casting about for something to change the subject, “So, you’re going to be riding with my father tomorrow?”

 

“Yes, though I don’t know when. I will leave when he does. I’ll ride as his second-a glorified squire, more or less. I’ll care for his horse and armor and such. It’s really quite an honor...”  Dairren’s voice trailed off wistfully.

 

“Will you actually fight?” Kai looked at him, feeling the same cold ice in her stomach at the thought of him in battle, just like she had for Father and Fergus.

 

“I hope so. I admit to trepidation about facing darkspawn, but I can’t imagine an opponent more worthy of defeat.” He grinned at her.

 

Kai grinned back and and teased him, “You consider it an honor to do menial tasks?”

 

“Oh ho, unlike you, I ‘m no child of a great house, if I can rise within the ranks of your father’s service it is more then I could normally hope for.” His grin got wider, “I’m a bit surprised you’re not riding alongside your brother. Is that...disappointing?” Dairren’s voice tilted upwards in a mocking tone while he wrinkled his nose at her like he did when they were children.

 

Kai wrinkled her own nose and stuck out her tongue at him, “Yes, I really want to go.”

 

The grin left his face and he became serious, but with an undercurrent of eagerness, eagerness to please, her? He stepped closer pitching his voice lower, “If you’re interested, I shall record what I can during the battle. My writing skills may be lacking but I hope to convey a true sense of the warrior’s experience. Writing such an important work is one of my ambitions.” This last part had him blushing and looking away as if he thought she might laugh.

 

“You always were reading. I’m not surprised you wish to write. But I do find it hard to believe your writing skills will be lacking in any way, Dairren. You always were very smart. That was one of the reasons I always enjoyed your company.” He had stepped closer and she could feel the heat from his body.

 

“As I recall, lady, you too had your nose in a book when you weren’t leading the other children into mischief, or beating them soundly for their transgressions against others.”

 

Was it just her imagination or were his lips getting closer to hers? She had a moment to muse about what that would feel like, when there was a slight cough from behind them. Iona had come in. She was holding a book she had been reading in the main library and she had come to return it. The elven lass and Kai wore matching blushes.

 

Iona went to stand with her back to them at the bookshelf. Kai turned back to Dairren, she could feel the heat in her face. But she wanted to be with him before he left. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed him. And now that they were adults, Kai recognized that this man was probably the only ‘noble’ male besides Ser Gilmore that not only could she stand, but that she was actually attracted to. Dairren didn’t mind that she was independent, stubborn, or that she was a scrapper. In fact, he seemed to admire her for it. All the traits the other nobles found so undesirable, but were willing to overlook to be a stone’s throw from the throne; the proximity to which, Dairren didn’t give a tinker’s damn about. He wanted to read, and write, and if him almost kissing her was any indication, to be at her side.

 

She decided to go with her impulses, where ever they might lead... “I want to get to know you better. To get reacquainted, to...”  Maker’s breath, she was blushing even harder now. Her ears were burning.

 

“To discuss books we’ve read perhaps, my lady?”  He had a mischievous gleam in his eye and a grin on his face.  But his breath seemed to be coming a little quicker. His fingers trembled slightly as he brushed a tendril of hair lying across her neck; his touch leaving trails of fire on her skin. “I would like that. What books did you have in mind, did you have one in particular?”

 

Kai licked her lips and gave him an impish grin, even as the room seemed to be getting warmer, making it difficult to concentrate. “I was thinking we could discuss ‘The Art of Passionate Love’ by Brother Capria?” She was pleased when she managed to unsettle him as he had been doing to her.

 

“Oh... that was banned by the Chantry, wasn’t it? Quite...provocative, I understand.” The shy little boy she knew once again presented itself in the handsome man in front of her. “I’ve, ah, never read it myself.”

 

“I could show you what I learned from it.” Kai felt her grin get wider as she watched him blush and look at the ground.

 

“Oh, ah, here?” He managed to look her in the eyes, even if his ears were now turning red.

 

Kai gave him a little chuckle, “I was thinking of somewhere more private? We have an audience.” Kai nodded towards Iona, “And I am afraid Aldous might have a stroke if he walked in on us here.”

 

“Gladly... but your mother is expecting me for dinner shortly.” Dairren leaned in and whispered in her ear making her blush and not only with embarrassment, “And I don’t want to take a short time with you Kai, I have missed you.” And he leaned back and gave her a smile, speaking in a normal tone again, “As is mine, perhaps another time?”

 

“Why don’t you come to my room later tonight? And I can give you some of the books I recommend for your trip?” It took everything not to let her knees go to jelly and not to lick her lips.

 

“I suppose I could come by your room after dinner...” and again he whispered, “or after everyone is asleep, for something of a more...intimate nature.” His eyes looked into hers, “I would love to have some reading material for the journey, and you always did have good taste in books.” His hand reached out and he tangled his fingers with hers giving them a squeeze, before he raised her hand his mouth and brushed her knuckles with his lips in a courtly manner.

 

Kai tried to adopt nonchalant demeanor herself, as much as she could given that her breath was quickening in her chest, “Then I will see you tonight.”

 

“I look forward to it. I shall see you then.”

 

 


	5. Painting a Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai catches up with Fergus, her nephew, and sister-in-law, joined by Eleanor and Bryce for the send off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up.
> 
> Think of this as the "calm before the storm chapter" that sandwiches the smexy chapter of a meeting with Dairren.

Kai called Argus over with a soft whistle and a pat on her thigh with her fingers. The mabari had been shamelessly flirting with Iona the elven lady-in-waiting getting her to scratch him behind the ears.

 

“You cheeky monkey!”  Kai grinned at him as they wended their way out of the library around the corner and past the atrium, continuing on through the open aired corridors that led to the doors of the guest hall and beyond that to the family’s living quarters.

 

Kai walked through the hall where the guestrooms were and through another heavy oaken door leading to their private rooms. She started to turn right to walk through her brother’s open door when she heard her little nephew Oren’s childish lisp, “Is there really going to be a war Papa?  Will you bring me back a sa-word?”  Kai stayed a moment just listening to her brother’s deep and beloved voice and watching them through the doorway.

 

“That’s ‘sword’ Oren, and I will find you the mightiest one I can and bring it back before you know it.” Kai watched her brother, who looked so much like their father, as he bent down and ruffled Oren’s black hair.

 

Oriana, Fergus’ wife, was a pretty Antivan woman with honey colored hair, big blue eyes, a sweet disposition, that hid a wicked dead-pan sense of humor; stood off to Oren’s right watching them.

 

Fergus marrying a foreigner, over the other nobles’ daughters, and putting that outsider one seat away from the throne had been a scandal of epic proportions. Or at least the nobles with unwed female relations had felt it was a crime along the magnitude of the Orlesian invasion, if their squawking had been anything to go by--the melodramatic twits. But it had died down eventually, and those with unwed male relatives had turned their gazes to Kai. Maker turn them all to toads!

 

Oriana broke in, “I wish victory was indeed so certain. My heart is...disquiet” Her eyes filled with tears.

 

Kai watched Fergus rise and go to his wife, putting a hand on her arm and giving her his most brilliant smile, “Don’t frighten the boy, love. I’ll be back before you know it.” Fergus turned and saw Kai watching from the doorway. “And here’s my little sister to see me off. Now dry your eyes, love, and wish me well.”

 

Kai opted not to warn her brother of her misgivings in front of Oriana who was already upset, or Oren, who did not need to be frightened. “No darkspawn could harm Fergus!” She gave them a big smile, which Fergus returned, but his eyes told her he knew what she was about. They always could read each other.

 

Oriana touched her Fergus’s arm, “He is as mortal as anyone, despite his refusal to believe.”  Her look was so filled with love and quiet desperation; it made Kai’s heart squeeze painfully.

 

“Now Love, no need to be so glum.” Fergus stroked her cheek, smiling at her.

 

“I wish I could come with you.” Some of Kai’s frustration broke through her voice despite her trying to sound optimistic for Oriana.

 

“I wish you could come too. It’s going to be tiring killing all those darkspawn myself.” Fergus grinned at her.

 

“In Antiva a woman fighting in battle would be... unthinkable.” Oriana raised an eyebrow at Kai, in their shared private joke.

 

“Is that so? I had always heard Antivan women were dangerous, my love.” Fergus winked at Kai.

 

“Only with kindness and poison my husband.” Oriana flashed them both a wicked grin.

 

Fergus and Kai burst out laughing. “And this from the woman who serves me my tea!”

 

“Do you really think the war will be over quickly, brother?” Kai grasped his arm.

 

“Word from the South is that the battles have gone well. There is no evidence that this is a true Blight, just a large raid.” Kai looked at her brother, using the expression she and he used to use when their parents might see. Kai raised her eyebrows in her “be careful” code. Fergus grabbed her hand and kissed it tell her he got the message. Again, Kai felt shivers she recalled Duncan’s expression.

 

“Could that be true?” Oriana looked at Fergus her face full of hope.

 

“I’ll see for myself soon enough. Pray for me, love, and I’ll be back within a month or two.” Fergus put his lips on Oriana’s.

 

“You’ll be missed, Brother.” Kai’s throat wanted to constrict and her heart was squeezing painfully in her chest again.

 

Fergus turned to her grinning, “If it is any consolation, I’m sure I will freeze in the Southron rain and be completely jealous of you up here warm and safe.”

 

“I am positively thrilled to hear that you will be so miserable husband.” Oriana grinned at him.

 

“Did you know there’s a Grey Warden at the castle?” Kai and Fergus had grown up on tales of the Grey. She knew he would be disappointed if she didn’t tell him.

 

“I’d heard that. Did he say why he’s come, other than being a friend of our parents of course?” Fergus grinned at her.

 

“He’s going to test Ser Gilmore.” Kai couldn’t help the wistful look she knew she wore. Fergus was the only one, other than Father, that would understand.

 

“Good for him! I hope he makes it! If I were a Grey Warden, though, I’d have my eye on you--”  Fergus leaned in and whispered to Kai, “Not that father would ever allow it.” Rather than dwell on her plans to disobey her father, she changed the subject.

 

“Oh, I bring you a message. Father wants you to ride out without him.” Kai frowned and rolled her eyes. “Something about the border levies, according to that snake, Howe.”

 

“Then the arl’s men are delayed. You’d think his men were walking backwards.” Fergus grinned and tugged one of her braids in a familiar gesture. “Well, better get under way so many darkspawn to behead, so little time.” He grinned and turned back to Oriana planting a light kiss on her lips once again. “Off we go then. I will see you soon my love.”

 

As Fergus was kissing Oriana once more their parents entered the room, “I would hope dear boy you were going to wait for us before taking your leave.” Her father grinned at Fergus.

 

“Be well my son .I shall pray for your safe return every day that you are gone.” Kai watched her mother as she kissed Fergus on the cheek, as she tried to mask her worry and sadness. Her mother’s expression frightened her more than Duncan’s had.

 

“Fergus will be fine!”  Kai wanted to hug her mother, hard.

 

“I keep telling you, no darkspawn will best me.” And Fergus did hug her, wrapping their mother in his strong arms.

 

“Maker, watch over them, keep them from harm. Maker bring them home safely to us again.” Oriana clasped her hands for her small prayer.

 

“And bring us some wenches and ale while you’re at it. For the men of course!” Fergus gave an impish grin to Oriana. Fergus shared Kai’s views on the Maker. In fact, they had created silent games they could play with their hands when they had been at services.

 

“Fergus! You would speak that way in front of your mother?” Oriana smiled and punched him on the arm, completely forgetting her proper Antivan upbringing.

 

It was Oren who broke the somber mood even further with his next statement, “What’s a wench? Is that what you use to pull a bucket out of a well?” His blue eyes were wide looking from one adult to the other.

 

It was her father who chuckled and answered, “A wench is a woman who pours the ale in a tavern, Oren.” And then her father with a grin on his face pitched his voice lower, “Or a woman who drinks a lot of ale.”

 

Kai and Fergus both tried to stifle their laughter but found it impossible when their mother responded, “Bryce really!  Maker’s breath, it’s like living with a pair of small boys! Thankfully I have a daughter!” And Eleanor gave Kai a conspiratorial wink.

 

Fergus chuckled and looked at Kai, “I’ll miss you, mother dear. You’ll take good care of her won’t you?”

 

“Fah, mother can handle herself. Always has.” Kai grinned at her brother before winking back at their mother.

 

“It’s true. They should be sending her not me. She would scold those darkspawn back into the Deep Roads.” Fergus laughed and did a mock cringe as their mother smacked him in the other arm. At least he’ll match, Kai gave a mental chuckle.

 

“I’m so glad you find this funny.” And their mother smacked him playfully again for good measure. Her father lovingly wrapped his arms around her from behind.

 

“All right, all right, enough.” He chuckled. Everyone’s eyes turned to Kai as Oren grabbed Kai’s hand getting her attention.

 

“Mamma says you’re going to be watching over us while papa is gone.Is that true, Auntie?” Kai grinned at her nephew.

 

“Yes, that’s true, Oren.” She poked him with her finger in the stomach tickling him and causing him to giggle.

 

“What if the castle is attacked will there be dragons?” He grinned at her, a little boy’s grin filled with imaginary battles in his head.

 

“Oren, dragons are horrible creatures, they eat people!” Oriana rolled her eyes at him, but a smile played along her lips.

 

“I know, but I want to see one!” He looked at his mother waggling his eyebrows. A trick he had just learned and love to use no matter what the circumstance or topic of conversation. Oriana’s smile got wider and she let out a little laugh.

 

Oriana punched Fergus in the arm again, “This is your doing you know.”

 

Fergus cringed again and shrugged,“What did I do?” He chuckled and winked at Kai as Oren turned back to her.

 

“Will you teach me to use a sword, Auntie?” And before Kai could answer he started swinging his arms holding his hand out as if it gripped a sword hilt. “Take that dire bunny! All darkspawn fear my sword of truthiness!”

 

Kai laughed, “Truthiness?”

 

Oriana grinned and shrugged, “We’re trying to teach him about honesty. I think something got lost in translation somewhere.”

 

Kai laughed harder and nodded, “I’ll say.” Kai watched her brother bent down and looked at his son as if memorizing those rounded little boy features.

 

“Don’t worry son, you’ll get to see a sword up close real soon.” Fergus kissed and hugged Oren tight. Kai felt goosebumps shimmer across her skin as if the temperature in the room had dropped, and she didn’t know why. She wanted to shrug it off as a case of being worried for Father and Fergus, but that little alarm bell was going off in the back of her head as it had earlier when speaking to Howe’s guard.

 

She was broken off from her inner musings when her father had turned to address her again, “Pup, you’ll want to go to bed early you have a big day tomorrow.” Her father smiled at her and nodded toward Fergus. The rest of the family moved off to talk in a group, leaving brother and sister a moment to speak alone with each other.  

 

“Getting sent to bed early are we?” Fergus’s voice had a teasing tone as he grinned at her.

 

“I don’t mind I’ll have someone waiting for me.” She winked at him.

 

“What? Oh, you saucy minx!” He punched her lightly on the shoulder. “It wouldn’t happen to be our old playmate Dairren now would it?” He grinned. With a quick look at their father, he put on a mocking deep ‘fatherly’ voice, “I certainly hope he’s worthy of you or I will have to give him what for.” He laughed, “There, I’ve done my brotherly duty.”

 

Kai wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue at him, “Have fun on the long march in the cold.”  Kai chuckled when he wrinkled his own nose and stuck out his tongue in response.

 

Fergus burst out laughing, Maker, she loved her brother’s laugh, let him come back so she could hear it again. “Hmm, a warm bed doesn’t sound bad now come to think of it.” He hugged her tight, “I’ll miss you, little sister. Take care of everyone and be here when I get back.” He kissed her hair, and she could hear the roughness of his voice

 

“I will brother dear, I love you so. Please, please, be very careful.” Kai hugged him even tighter and kissed his rough cheek. She tamped down the tears trying to well up. She put on a smile before she stepped back. She stroked the side of his face before grabbing his hand as they walked back to the rest who were still talking.

 

Or rather, Oriana and her mother were talking. Argus was playing a dragon while Oren pretended to ‘vanquish’ him. Her father was standing listening to the two women chatting. Kai motioned him over to her by the door.

 

“You should be on your way, pup, long day ahead tomorrow.”  He smiled at her.

 

“I know Father, but I wanted to speak to you before I do.” Kai felt her heart fluttering in her throat. “Are you sure you’ll be all right, I am scared Father, I don’t like this.”

 

“Your brother and I go into battle not an afternoon tea. Know this, you are my darling girl and I love you. And I trust you to carry on the Cousland name if the worst should happen.” He reached out and stroked her cheek. Kai felt her stomach clench uncomfortably at his words, “But don’t worry about me, dear girl. You’ll have enough to occupy your mind while I’m gone.”

 

“Father, is sending all of our forces south a good idea?”

 

“When the King demands it. In fact not sending our men south would be a distinctly bad idea.” He smiled at her and gave her hand a little tug, “Don’t worry, Pup. You shouldn’t see many problems. But I want you to prepare the men left here, in case.”

 

Kai nodded, she would get to spend time in the training arena after all. Again, Duncan’s face flashed in her mind’s eye, “Father, about this Grey Warden...”

 

“Ah, my fierce girl, so like a mabari once you have something in your jaws you don’t like to let it go. I was wondering how long this would take. Has he asked to recruit you?”

 

“No father, he is your friend and has respected your wishes. But if he did?” Kai bit her lower lip.

 

“If he did I would have to consider it. If it is a Blight in the South, then Grey Wardens will be needed. There is no higher calling. If it comes to that, we can talk about it when I get back. Until then just show him every courtesy.  Duncan is a fine man, a friend, and a hero.” Her father put his hand on her shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

“Yes, papa. I’ll go now.” She reached up an covered his hand with her own before leaning in and kissing him.

 

She turned to go but turned back when he spoke to he again, “I know that you’ll do me proud. You’ve grown into a sensible woman that much is clear.” He smiled at her, “I love you my fierce girl, remember that.” She nodded and smiled. “And, Pup, you and Dairren try and get some sleep at least. I don’t want the man falling out of his saddle tomorrow. It would be demoralizing for him.”

 

Kai just gaped at her father, her cheeks turning red and he grinned at her, so much like Fergus. She laughed in spite of her embarrassment and gave a soft whistle to Argus and a pat on her leg. The hound had Oren pinned to the ground and was licking his face while the boy giggled. Her father and Fergus mirrored each other as they stood arms wrapped around the women they loved talking to each other, while Mother and Oriana conversed. It was all so blissfully normal, so happy, so beautiful.

 

When Argus had joined her, she started for the door. Once she had reached it, she looked back, ‘painting a memory,’ as she and her family called it. She wanted to remember them all together to keep with her until Father and Fergus came home once again.  

 

 


	6. My Life Began With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we have Kai and Dairren meeting. I hope you enjoy reading the happy fun time as much as enjoyed writing it. Warning Spoiler Alert: if you have played the noble origin and done the Dairren quest, then you know what happens, but best to get the tissues anyway. : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. Thank you all for putting up with the usual origin story. I promise it gets more AU later, as Daveth survives.
> 
> I don’t usually put song lyrics in my author’s notes, but this was so appropriate for Dairren and Kai and their first and only tryst (lyrics belong to Duran Duran):
> 
>  
> 
> Pretty looking road,  
>  Try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin  
>  Don't ask me why I'll keep my promise  
>  Melt the ice  
>  And you wanted to dance so I asked you to dance  
>  But fear is in your soul  
>  Some people call it a one night stand  
>  But we can call it paradise
> 
> Don't say a prayer for me now,  
>  Save it 'til the morning after  
>  No, don't say a prayer for me now,  
>  Save it 'til the morning after  
>  Save a prayer 'til the morning after  
>  ~” Save A Prayer” - Duran Duran

Kai and Argus left Fergus and her family to walk across to her room when a servant passed by. She grabbed them and asked that they please fetch a bottle of one of the best Antivan wines that they had in the wine cellar (Kai was thankful that they had some really wonderful vintages, (thanks to Oriana’s father Ricardo Vinatero who was a purveyor of fine spirits) and two glasses be brought to her room.

 

She then shut them both in, only to find that she was fidgeting with lust and nerves. Now that she was alone, she realized she had missed her childhood friend, so much. His absence had been a hole she ignored as it had been too painful to contemplate at the time. But the past and the present were coming together at such a speed that they collided, causing a sort of explosion in her head.

 

She was flooded with memories, starting strangely enough, with her last view of him, as he stood on the deck of the ship as it took him away to Antiva and away from her. She could see him, gangling, skinny still, but with all the potential of the man that was here in the castle with her, and who would be with her tonight. Her heart squeezed painfully as she realized now, as she had not then, that she was in love with him, her best friend other than Fergus.

 

Sweet Dairren, who always accepted her just the way she was. Her mind flashed backwards, of Dairren showing up in the wee hours of the morning, when the stars were still shining, and dawn was still so far away. How he had brought his poor fragile mother wrapped in a cloak to their great hall. How he had sported a bruise that had swollen his eye shut and puffed up most of the right side of his face. How swollen the skin, and the blue black color as the blood from his broken cheekbone had pooled along the injury, and how painful it had looked. The rage she had felt, at fourteen, for his bastard father, when she had found he had hit Dairren, when her sweet and gentle friend was only defending his mother. At the time, she had wanted to get on a Ceffyl and ride to Bann Loren and beat him until he lay in a pool of his own blood. She still felt nothing but contempt and hatred for the man to this day.

 

Still the memories flashed backwards, dancing through time in a whirl, taking her with them: of her, Fergus, and Dairren swimming in Highever Lake, riding Ceffyls, sledding in winter. More  images flashed by of Landsmeets in Denerim, of stealing apples, blackberries, and strawberries. Sneaking in castle corridors late at night to the library to read books together, the rule decided upon that interruptions were only allowed by any of the three of them, only if the passages to be read out loud were exciting, funny, or bawdy.

 

And then, her mind’s journey’s destination, when they first met in the little tucked away garden at the palace in Denerim, a small nook really, with a lawn, and bushes, some flowers, and benches. It was well cared for by the castle gardeners, but seemed to be little known by other adults or castle guards. It was enclosed by high walls from the outside and the castle’s outer walls. It was private and hard to find, which made it perfect for her and Fergus, who had just spent time filching apples from the royal arbors.

 

They had intended to read, eating their stolen treasures until the dinner hour. They rounded the corner from the open air corridor to their favorite hideout, as she and Fergus referred to it, to see Ballgaire, Bann Parnell Mulligan’s son, mashing Dairren’s face into the grass while he called him names and his gang of three kicked her friend and taunted him.

 

She could remember it as if it were yesterday, the intense feeling of anger that had blossomed in the pit of her stomach. She hated when supposedly stronger people preyed on people helpless to fight back.

 

Ballgaire had always been built on the stocky side and bigger than the other children, but he had always been a coward. As he neared becoming a man, he had shot up in height with stocky muscles. Ballgaire’s gang of three; Lun, Tremaine, and Gwitart were smaller and thinner. It led Kai and Fergus to refer to them as The Three Weasels and the Bull Calf.

 

Kai remembered their faces, the looks of wariness, (Ballgaire’s look of fear) their bravado in taking her on. She remembered the fluidness of the moves of the martial arts form she had learned that spring and how it had flowed through her without her thinking about it. How surprised she had been that the priest’s words had been true when he had told her that if she practiced them every day it would be like movement of water. The ease with which her foot had flashed out behind her as if of its own accord, breaking that moron Gwitart’s nose. How she clipped Tremaine’s chin breaking his jaw (prat had to sip broth for over a month). How Lun sported a gap in his mouth, to this day, where two of his teeth had been displaced permanently by her foot. How the white hot pain of Ballgaire, getting his licks in, had flared across her face. The trickle of blood from her cut lip and how she wiped the blood away, and licked it off her fingertips. The salty iron taste of it, turned her white hot anger into cold blue ice. And the feel of her booted foot as it arced straight into Ballgaire’s cloth covered loins.

 

Kai grinned to herself. She remembered how much she had enjoyed kicking the Bull Calf in the stones, not only for Dairren, but for Oriana who had suffered the unwanted amorous attentions of the git the night before that fight. She had hoped that the boot to the daddy bags would turn the bull into a steer. No such luck as Ballgaire was now a father to three obnoxious sons. But the mewling noises that had issued forth from his mouth that day had been, what was that phrase, then prince, now king Cailan used often? Glorious! Kai laughed to herself.

 

She remembered how Dairren’s nice blue shirt sported grass stains and blood. How red his face had been, so much so, that it had matched his copper colored hair, with his anger and embarrassment of her rescue of him. How thoughtful he had looked, and grateful too, when she had offered her friendship, as well as that of Fergus and her parents. She remembered that little boy laugh, when she had called his father, Bann Loren, a prat.

 

Kai felt herself flushing as the hand of that little boy, that had shaken hers so long ago, had turned into the strong capable hand of the man who had touched her in the library only a few hours before. And that turned her to thoughts of having those strong hands all over her body.  Which lead to a fit of nerves that had her pacing around the room smoothing out the bed clothes, fluffing pillows and tidying the room which was tidy to begin with.

 

Maker’s breath! Get a hold of yourself!  Kai gave herself a mental head slap. Honestly! You are no star struck virgin! But she had to admit, that it was the sense of importance to it all. And if she was being honest, it was important. Meeting Duncan and knowing he wanted her to be a Grey Warden (and that they needed her); and meeting her best friend from childhood, and her first, so far only love, was astounding.It was as if her life plodding along in an orderly pace, had suddenly decided to take off running at full speed.

 

She knew that Grey Wardens were allowed to be married. A Grey Warden and his wife stayed with them at Highever on their way to Orzammar once. Though the spouse had not been a Warden, Kai figured it must not be against the rules, if say she and Dairren tested and joined the Grey. Truth be told, she had no idea how that worked, the order was a bit, close to the vest, where their inner workings were concerned. It helped them maintain their mystique she supposed.

 

She also knew that she did not want to lose Dairren again. Not if she had a choice this time. She only hoped he didn’t fall in battle. And she found herself once again with a case of nerves but for an entirely different reason this time, so much so that when the servant arrived at her door and knocked, Kai about jumped out of her skin. It was with slightly shaking hands and a rapidly beating heart that she took the bottle and the glasses, setting them carefully on the bedside table before closing the door.

 

Kai was sorely tempted to pour herself a glass of wine, but refrained. It wouldn’t do to get tiddly, no matter how much that might calm her nerves. And it would certainly not help to be passed out.

 

Kai sat herself on the edge of the bed folding her hands in her lap primly. That lasted all of five minutes before she was pulling at her fingers and cracking her knuckles. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped tugging the long tapered digits. Though, no sooner had she stopped that, then she started hearing a repetitive thumping sound only to realize it was her own booted foot tapping on the rug beneath her feet.

 

Andraste’s flaming knickers!  If she kept this up, she would give herself heart failure and all of it; Dairren, the Grey Wardens, would be rendered moot. She decided to get up and put books together for Dairren to take, from her favorites that she always had in her room. She had one she would give to him outright, “The Dragons of Tevinter”, the one by Brother Timeous that they discussed in the library. She grabbed a quill and ink and inscribed the fly leaf:

 

Dairren,

 

My best friend, I have missed you. I hope you will think of me when you read this while you are away.

 

Kai paused here, never one for romantic and girly sentiment; she opted for her usual humor:

 

So you had best return with the book or I shall be sorely put out! My dear, gentle friend, (again she paused but chose to put her true feelings in, girly or no) and my beloved. Please, do come back to me.

 

Kai

 

Kai found herself swallowing hard, never one to pray to the Maker lest she impose, she found herself doing so anyways. Please, please, please, keep Dairren, Fergus and my father safe. Whatever happens, just let them come back again.

 

Kai took a deep breath and changed into a night shift (in case Dairren really only wanted to collect books having changed his mind, always a possibility she supposed) and her robe. She sat up on the covers of the bed propping herself with pillows against the headboard, she opened “The Dragons of Tevinter,” and began to read.

 

The soft knock, along with the soft ‘woof’ from Argus, had her jerking forward, and she realized she had fallen asleep with the book open on her stomach. She took a moment to rub bleary eyes and gently set the book back on the stack she had made for him. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and her palms were sweaty when she opened the door and ushered him in.

 

She had her back to him as she turned to close the door for the third time that night. She had just heard the latch click when she found herself spun around, her back pressed into the hard wood of the door, as Dairren’s hands cupped her face and his lips devoured hers.

 

Someone moaned. She wasn’t sure who. And their lips parted for a moment as his warm brown eyes looked into her blue ones. His thumb was tracing her cheekbone. He seemed to be memorizing her features. Time seemed to stop for a moment.

 

And then it restarted and sped up. Their lips met again in a war of tongues and teeth. She found her hands running under his shirt, of their own volition. She couldn’t get enough of him, she clawed restlessly at his shirt trying to lift it past his broad shoulders and over his head. He had over a foot on her five foot two height. And she was finding it frustrating until he growled, broke their kiss for the barest of moments to rip the shirt up over his head and toss it aside.

 

His own fingers fumbled with the ribbons of her robe, which came undone for him to shove it back from her shoulders to let it drop on the floor. Now that his shirt was no longer hindering her, she was free to let her hands wander across the wide expanse of his well-muscled chest.

 

Her mind turned queerly, musing while the rest of her was otherwise occupied, that he had not spent all of his time reading books and writing. The rubbing of her thumbs across the more sensitive areas of his skin caused him to groan her name into her neck, and grasp at the collar of her shift, trying to get it out of the way so his lips and tongue could continue their journey to her collarbone.

 

She pushed him back for a moment pulling the shift off her eyes never leaving his. She felt herself blushing and started to look away in embarrassment. Dairren grabbed her chin before she could look at her feet. All he said was, “Beautiful, so beautiful,” before putting his lips to hers again while his hands roamed along her front, stroking and teasing, making her breath expel in sighs.

 

They fought with what little clothing remained and he carried her while his teeth worked on the soft skin of her throat, laying her back on the bed. Where her skin touched his she felt as if every cell, every part of her was awake and very alive. When he lowered his mouth to her breasts, first one then the other, she found herself arching in a pleasure so intense it was almost pain. Wave of heat seemed to pulse off of her skin, making a light sheen of sweat bead up.

 

Her nails clawed his along his arms and broad shoulders. Her breath was nothing but ragged gasps now. She could hardly get the words out but she managed somehow, “Now, right now!  Dairren, love...”  His only response was obey her command, as he slid between her parted thighs.

 

She heard him gasp and paused for a moment, his forehead to hers. She found herself looking into those warm brown eyes, and she could see the love he felt for her reflected in them. Then his lips were on hers again, as they moved together.

 

The world sped up once more and whipped by, her breath seemed to have been stolen from her. The world was speeding up faster and faster,  as if she was riding a Ceffyl off a cliff edge, only to plunge headlong off of it. Her heart beating faster, her breath caught in a cry as she wrapped around him taking him off the edge with her.

 

Kai loved feeling the heavy weight of him pressing her into the soft mattress. The sound of his ragged breathing was music to her ears, his galloping heart beating over her own the tempo was the melody, and the song was love.

 

She let her fingers run over his slick back, sliding them up and down, delighting in the shivers it caused. He cleared his throat and gasped again when she nuzzled his shoulder nibbling gently where the collar bone met his neck. She gave a little chuckle.

 

“You are incorrigible, my lady! You must give a man a chance to collect himself.” He grinned at her his hands framing her face, moving damp locks from her forehead.

 

She slapped his backside with her hand, “Ugh, don’t you dare call me, ‘my lady!’”

 

“And if I do?” He grinned at her while raising an eyebrow at her.

 

“Then I shall have to torture you of course.” Kai did a move from her Qun martial arts and Dairren found himself beneath her with a surprised little grunt. She chuckled again.

 

“Well then, I find myself at your mercy, my ...” She cut him off with a kiss.

 

She pulled back to take in his beloved features, “I have missed you so much.”  She twinned her fingers through his copper colored curls.

 

“And I missed you.” He returned her kiss, “You know, my life didn’t really begin until that day we met. So, I have loved you all my life.” She watched his eyes get bright and she felt her own eyes fill mirroring his.

 

She let him see her love for him shining in her own, “And I love you” she told him, before she leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss.

 

Kai woke from one of the few snatches of sleep they had allowed each other; when she felt a kiss on her forehead and Dairren sliding his shoulder gently out from under her. It took her a moment, to realize he was putting on his leggings which had been left on the floor as they had had other things to occupy them.

 

She sat up in bed, and saw that Argus was standing looking at the bedroom door, his hackles raised. Dairren came over to her side of the bed. “I tried to quiet him, but he won’t have it.”

 

“Maybe he heard something?” Kai looked at Argus again, who looked back over his shoulder at her with a quiet woof and then his focus was back to the door with a low grumble like thunder in his throat.

 

“Something woke me up, I thought...” Dairren looked at the door, “I thought I heard screaming, but that can’t be what I heard.” He looked back at her, a worried look on his face, that he quickly schooled and  he gave her a smile. “I am going to go see what is happening. You stay here, my love don’t let the bed get cold.” He leaned over and kissed her before running his fingers across the tattoo over her eyebrow following it down to the curve of her cheekbone.

 

“I am not letting you go anywhere without me. I want to snatch every moment together we can.” She grabbed his hand and kissed his palm before giving him an impish grin. “Besides, you need me to protect you.”

 

He laughed, “That I do, indeed.” He handed her the discarded shift, and then her robe. He was at the door as she was tying it closed. When he saw she had pulled the bow tight he nodded to her smiling that loving smile as he swung the door open. The smile turned to a look of utter surprise at the arrow that appeared in his chest where his heart was as if it had suddenly grown there of its own accord. A crimson blossom of blood spread outward with alarming speed as she watched.

 

Those strong hands, grasped the wooden shaft standing out from his flesh. Those hands, strong and gentle that had caressed her, held her, were painted in vermilion. Those hands that held a quill, putting such poetic words to parchment, now left to hold the object of his death.

 

His warm brown eyes, wide, looked into hers. Lips that had just kissed her, and told her of his love, opened, only to pour out his heart, in blood rather than words this time. She watched him as if the world had slowed down, watched him fall, hitting the floor. She watched as the sanguine pool of what was and what could have been spread across the floor, pooling beneath him. It spread to lick at her toes, as if he was trying to reach for her still.

 

And then the world sped up again, as Argus did his war bark and launched himself at the unseen assailant outside the door.  

 

 


	7. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Kai and her mother have to fight their way through the castle, only to find that Bryce isn't at the gates, and Ser Gilmore is going to sacrifice himself to save them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. Thank you for all the support and kudos, and comments. They mean a lot to me.

Kai heard a high pitched scream followed by deep growls and wet crunching noises, which barely registered as the world had receded as if she was watching everything from a distance and found it mildly fascinating. She found herself observing the way Dairren’s blood made a red mirror reflecting the doorway and the figures in it.

 

It was the silhouette reflected in blood, raising a sword filled hand to strike the mabari that snapped her out of her thoughts and brought her back to attention. She spun around the door and gave the swordsman a roundhouse kick to the chest causing Argus’s would be attacker to bend over gasping. Kai then put her back to the man’s chest giving his face a sharp blow with her elbow; she felt the warmth of the blood soak the cloth of her sleeve. She stepped forward and turned to face him. Before he could recover she grasped the soldier’s hand, wrapping her fingers over his, as she twisted the sword towards him bending his arm at the elbow forcing him to impale himself on his own blade.

 

His eyes widened in shock as blood fountained out of his mouth as he stared stupidly at the blade and their entwined hands. He was the smarmy bastard in the Great Hall that she had spoken to. He raised his eyes to hers and she cocked an eyebrow as she gave the sword a twist causing a sickening sucking sound as the blade rotated and more blood ran around the metal.

 

Kai pulled it back out and ripped it from his dying grasp, letting him fall as she pivoted towards his fallen fellow who lay beneath almost three hundred pounds of mabari war dog as he made gurgling noises.

 

“Glaoigh ar ais ar!” Kai called Argus off with a specific command and a hand signal. She walked over to the prone archer, his face, and his arms that had been used to keep the hound from his throat, were a mass of mangled red meat, hardly recognizable as human appendages. He was still breathing, barely. Kai took a moment to look down at the man who had put an arrow through Dairren’s heart, before kneeling down slightly as she rammed the sword through what was left of the man’s mutilated visage with a force hard enough to chip the sword point on the stone as she drove it through. As with the other guard, she twisted the sword before pulling it back out.

 

She stood for a moment, more warm blood pooling around her bare feet. A wave of nausea hit her but she swallowed it down. She turned to Argus, pointing to the man who she had just planted the sword in, as well as his dead companion, and then back to her bedroom, “Sracann tú.” The mabari gave her an affirmative bark and proceeded to drag the body by the ankle to the doorway behind him.

 

Kai ran back into her room to grab the large heavy wool rug at the foot of her bed. She bundled it up as best she could and by the time she rolled it into a more manageable heap Argus had already pulled the second body into the room.

 

Since she didn’t know when more men might come to check on the first, she decided to cover up the blood as best she could and buy time, she hoped. The rug was a deep red the color of maple leaves with Ceffyls and ravens worked out in black along with knot work spirals and woven boarder. She figured the red and black would not show the blood as the rug soaked it up.

 

She laid it out and it was just big enough to cover the blood pools and the smears leading to her bedroom. Kai stepped back inside and shut and locked the door. She studiously avoided looking at Dairren’s rapidly cooling body on her floor lying where it had fallen. Nor did she look at the bodies of Howe’s men.

 

Kai focused her attention on opening the chests in her room, pulling out an undershirt, her armor, her daggers, and a bag of coins she always kept her monthly allowance in. The coin bag was heavy as she hardly ever spent it. She had two well used but serviceable daggers and her parents supplied her with armor. Since she didn’t spend it on jewelry, shoes, or other sundries other nobles’ daughters seemed unable to live without, she never really had anything to allocate the money on. She usually put it back into the family treasury when the bag got full and she needed the room. She had asked her father to stop giving her an allowance, but he had just smiled and told her one day she might find something she really wanted to buy and she would at least have the money to spend. Always practical, his fierce girl, her father had said. She figured they all might need it once they escaped Highever. What she had could be added to whatever was in their emergency supplies.

 

Kai got herself buckled in by buckling up the cuirass part of the way and slipping it on to buckle the rest. She strapped on her daggers and started for the door when her foot slipped in Dairren’s rapidly congealing blood. She finally allowed herself to look at him one last time. She bent down and with a shaking hand closed his eyes, put a light kiss on his cooling lips, and ran her fingers through his soft copper hair. Her heart lurched into her throat.

 

She rose and wiped away tears that she had not realized had fallen. And she deliberately shut off any feelings. She cleared her mind, especially, of that part of herself that wanted to run screaming from the room, and the part of herself that wanted nothing more than to throw herself over Dairren’s prone form and weep and gnash her teeth. But she shut it all out, all of it save the cold icy anger... that she kept.

 

She looked at the hand that was sticky with his blood from kneeling beside him, and wiped it on the bed clothes before grasping the handle and cracking the door open slightly. Kai glanced towards the door leading out to the guestrooms, and then swung her gaze toward her parents’ bedroom. She saw two men with a hand held battering ram of thick wood, hacked to a point, as they swung it at the thick oak barring their entrance to the bedchamber.

 

They were animated and shouting loudly, Kai could only imagine her parents had barred themselves behind the door. She gave Argus the hand signal for ‘walk softly’, as she crept around her own bedroom door and used her stealth to walk the length of the hallway. When they drew close enough to hear the men shouting at the doorway, something about the teyrn, where was he, or words to that effect. Kai gave Argus the signal to charge. Kai watched as he knocked the man holding the battering ram down on the ground on his stomach and savaged his throat ripping open the man’s jugular while standing on his back. Argus’s distraction allowed her to plunge her dagger into the second soldier’s kidney as he turned to see why his fellow warrior was screaming. As he turned to face Kai, she swiped her second blade across his throat almost severing the man’s head from his neck.

 

Kai pounded on her mother’s door and whispered urgently for her. The door opened and her mother’s strong hand pulled her inside the room before shutting the door again once Argus had entered, “Darling, I heard fighting outside. I feared the worst! Are you hurt?” Eleanor spun Kai around looking under the blood splatter for any wounds or to see if any of the blood was Kai’s.

 

“Those men, they killed Dairren.” Kai felt a catch in her throat and her voice sounded hollow to her own ears.

 

“What? Not Landra’s son? Her scream woke me up, so I barred the door. Did you see their shields and emblems? They are Howe’s men, that traitorous, snaking bastard!” Kai watched as her mother clenched and unclenched her fists. “I never trusted or liked that man!”

 

“He has betrayed Father! He attacks while our troops are gone with Fergus to Ostagar!” Kai slapped the flat of her hand against the wood of the door hard enough to make her palm sting.

 

“You don’t think Howe’s men were delayed, do you? That sodding misbegotten son of syphilitic whore!”  Kai stared at her mother, and she could feel a giggle threatening to tickle up from her throat despite the circumstances. She had never heard her mother use such language. “I will cut his lying throat myself!”

 

Eleanor paced the room only to stop suddenly and turn to Kai. “Have you seen your father? He never came to bed!”

 

What little mirth had been bubbling died as quickly as it started, and she felt cold, “Maybe he stayed up with Howe.”

 

“We must find him!” Her mother gripped her arm so tightly, Kai was sure she would have bruises. She put her hand over her mother’s and gave it a gentle squeeze as she nodded, “Get your bow, ‘Wicked Grace’, Mother.”

 

Kai watched Eleanor walk to the wall of the bedroom where her heartwood bow hung. The dark purple wood of the bow curved all elegant lines, and deadly accuracy. It had been a gift from King Maric and Queen Rowan for her mother’s part in the Rebellion. It had been made especially for Eleanor, and named after its graceful shape and its wicked use. Father had also joked that it was named after the card game, as the bow held runes forged by the mages to up the ante by giving a master archer, like her mother, the ability to shoot from extremely far distances with greater accuracy and less fatigue for the wielder. Not only was it a deadly weapon, but it was an elegant piece of art. Kai had considered it a special treat to be allowed to touch it as a child. To be allowed to run her fingers (clean of course) along the inlaid spirals and Celtic knot work of rowan wood. The two cabochon emeralds one at either end of the bow, her father had told her were to match her mother’s eyes.

 

Kai thought the weapon was the perfect embodiment of her beautiful, graceful, and very formidable mother. She waited until her mother had grabbed a quiver full of arrows, and opened the chests in the room and taken out more pouches with money, and a pack to put them in pack.  She handed her own coin purse over to be put in the pack which her mother handed back to Kai and she strapped it on.

 

Kai grasped the handle to the door and looked back at her mother. A thought hit her, with the physical force of a fist to the stomach...Oren and Oriana!  “Mother we need to check on Oriana and Oren as well.”  She tried to keep her voice calm, but her heart was squeezing painfully in her chest and her breath didn’t want to leave her lungs.

 

“Andraste’s mercy! What if they went into your brother’s room first? Oh please no! We need to gather them before we head downstairs.” Eleanor’s face paled.

 

Kai nodded, opened the door and gave Argus the hand signal to follow. She checked the hallway, scanning it for any soldiers. Seeing none she signaled the all clear and stepped out to make her way towards Fergus’ and Oriana’s room. She could hear a repetitive muffled booming sound.

 

Kai stopped at the doorway, her mind not wanting to admit to what it saw. Oh her mind was painting a memory just as it had earlier, but this one was of a nightmare. Kai felt the rough grain of the doorway biting into the palm of her hand. Her vision swam in gray and then came back in horrifyingly clear focus.

 

There was one dead How soldier lying on the ground, a small, sharp, wicked little dagger sticking out from his eye socket. The dagger Kai had given her sister-in-law, and taught her how to use, so long ago, a lifetime ago.

 

Oriana had gotten her licks in trying to defend her son. From the positions of the bodies, she had been trying to shield Oren. They lay together, Oriana’s arms across his little unmoving chest. The blood pooled beneath them, so damn much blood! Maker’s breath, Highever castle was turning into a lake of it.

 

This time when the nausea welled up she couldn’t stop it and Kai turned to the outside of the door and retched until only bile burned her throat. When she turned back it was to see her mother on her knees stroking her grandson’s black hair, “No!  Not my little Oren, what manner of fiend slaughters innocents?”

 

Her mother’s green eyes bore into Kai’s, “Why would they do this?!”

 

Kai felt tears welling up, but she swallowed them down and buried them. “Don’t look Mother!”

 

“Oh I will do more than look! Howe’s not even taking hostages! Poor Fergus! I am going to slit that pustule-encrusted prick, Howe, from navel to nose!” Eleanor rose and pushed past Kai only to stop and stand staring in the direction of Kai’s bedroom.

 

Kai turned and followed her mother’s gaze, seeing that she had left the door open and Dairren lying on his back, face turned away from them, his arm outstretched, the arrow sticking from his chest like some morbid flag.

 

Her mother looked at her, grasping her arm in a gesture of comfort. Then both Kai and her mother had the same thought at the same time, “Landra!” They made their way to the closed door leading to the guestroom hallway. Kai opened it a crack and saw at least three men: two archers and one shield warrior. She took a closer look, and finally saw what she sought, a man cloaked in shadow, a rogue. Two could play at that game.

 

Kai told her mother, giving Eleanor time to back up to the farthest end of the hallway and ready Wicked Grace, knocking her first missile. Argus was ready with hand signals for his instructions, shield warrior, then archers, kill them all.

 

She nodded to her mother once, and swung the door wide open. Kai stayed behind the wall waiting for the rogue she knew would be sneaking into the room to kill her mother and stop the arrows from flying at his fellow warriors. Argus had the shield warrior pinned to the ground, the sicken sound of metal armor being crunched between the muscled jaws of a mabari, along with the man’s screams, could be heard through the open doorway. Two arrows flew by in rapid succession as  Eleanor used Wicked Grace which allowed her mother a more rapid aim.

 

Kai was beginning to worry that the rogue was focusing on the dog ravaging the warrior, rather than her mother, figuring that Eleanor couldn’t see him and didn’t know of his presence. But she saw him finally emerge making his way slowly through the portal towards Eleanor, who stood firing off more arrows.

 

She let the rogue get ahead of her before she snuck up behind him. Unfortunately he must have heard something or felt something behind him as he spun around to face her. They circled around, each testing the other with swings and parries, before battling in earnest.

 

He tried distracting her with a feint to her eyes, followed by a sneaky upward slice meant to catch her under her ribs. Kai ducked the blow to her eyes and blocked the swipe towards her abdomen, feeling the man’s blade part the leather vambrace rending the skin of her forearm beneath it. She could feel blood trickling down into her fingerless rogue gloves and around her clenched hand making the dagger handle slick and hard to hold.

 

Kai decided to use her own blood to her advantage and splattered it into the man’s eyes. Kai took his moment of hesitation to throw her dagger into the man’s throat, before executing a spinning kick hitting the dagger blade and shoving in as the force propelled him backwards.

 

She went first to her mother, to make sure one of the archers hadn’t hurt her. It looked as though their bows didn’t shoot as far or as accurately as Wicked Grace, if the arrows littering the room haphazardly were any indication.

 

Argus padded up to Kai, his muzzle covered in blood and his tongue lolling out in a big doggy grin. He sported a shallow cut along one shoulder and on one his right flank where arrows had grazed him.

 

Since no one was hurt seriously they went around the room collecting arrows that weren’t too bent or broken, as well as Kai’s dagger which she had to exert some effort to extricate it from the dead man’s neck. She put her foot into his chest and it finally slid free with a crunching sound. She noticed the man had a coin purse on him, and she set about taking it from him, along with any items that might sell or use that fit into the pack.

 

Kai walked to the second hallway and to do the same with the other bodies there. The shield warrior’s armor was deeply dented as if someone had taken a blacksmith’s hammer and pounded the armor into his ribs, the metal vambraces were perforated and so bloody she almost couldn’t tell they were once silver in color. He looked like he had been run over by a heard of ceffyls.

 

His cuirass was so damaged she couldn’t loosen it to see if he had any coin purse on him, so she moved on to the archers, handing her mother their arrows. Kai put a foot into their bows breaking them. Best not to let some of Howe’s other men come and find the weapons and use them against her.

 

She looked into Lady Landra’s room only to see her dead love’s fragile mother lying in a pool of blood. Adraste’s flaming sword! That was becoming a common sight. Kai could only think that now the poor woman’s suffering was finally at an end. She doubted that Landra would have survived long after finding out her son was dead. Dead, dead, dead...Dairren is dead, started to echo through her mind. It was her mother’s voice that snapped her out of it, “Dear Landra, I’m so sorry!”

 

Eleanor turned a tear stained face to Kai’s, “If she hadn’t come to me, if she hadn’t been here...”  Kai hugged her mother, trying to offer comfort when all she felt was numb.

 

“Come mamae, we need to find father.” She gave her mother another tight squeeze and waited while Eleanor brushed tears away, nodding. Again, Kai checked outside for rouges or soldiers as she opened the door that lead to the open air corridor.

 

Kai stopped them again at the junction between from the corridor leading to their living quarters and to atrium. Seeing that it was clear, she motioned her mother and Argus forward. They had almost reached the bottom of the ramp leading past the atrium when one of their servants came running up. He his blonde hair was slick with sweat and his face a mask of fear. He carried one of Nan’s big kitchen knives. Kai recognized him as one of the stewards, his name was Cluny, if she was remembering correctly, “They’re storming the castle gates, I’m getting out of here!”  His voice was full of panic and he started to turn to run.

 

Kai grabbed him by the arm, “Think man, they will kill you if you come across Howe’s men! Stay with us, we can protect you and get you to the servant’s entrance.” Cluny looked at her hand, saw she was covered in blood, “Cluny, they killed Lady Landra and Ser Dairren. They cut down my sister-in-law and my...my nephew.  They won’t give a tinker’s damn about a steward. I couldn’t save them, let me try and save you!” Kai pleaded with him.

 

The panicked look in Cluny’s eyes left and he put his hand over hers and smiled, “I am sorry, My Lady, forgive my frenzied state.  I will stay, and fight by your side. I am your liege man, not the other way around. Lay on, my lady Cousland.”

 

Kai smiled and took off her pack and handed the man a dagger to go with his kitchen knife. Kai had good reason to know that Nan’s knives were kept sharp. Since they weren’t near the kitchens Kai figured Cluny must have grabbed it in the dining hall while cleaning it up after supper.

 

Cluny nodded and started to walk down the ramp ahead of her. He turned the corner and yelled, “They’re coming!” Kai had only a second to pull the steward back in the corridor as an arrow flew and hit the stone wall bouncing off, where Cluny had stood, “Thank you, My Lady.” He gave her a rueful grin. She smiled and gave him a pat on his shoulder.

 

She nodded to her mother and then ran around the corner right at a very surprised shield warrior who made some inarticulate gargling noise as she ran up and past the man tucking herself into a rolling tumble throwing her two daggers at the archers hitting them in the middle of their chests. She noted their rather surprised looks. She came up on her feet to spin and grab the daggers from the prone archers, “Thanks for holding those for me gentlemen.”

 

The shield warrior was down and Argus and Cluny were already working on a group at the other end of the corridor in front of the dining hall, where the intersection was blocked by flaming debris. In the light of the fire Kai could see Highever soldiers fighting Howe’s men. She ran forward and joined the fray, only to find the dining hall was filled with fighting men as well.

 

When it was all said and done, Howe’s men all lay dead, and they had lost only one Highever knight. Her mother approached her, “That pounding noise, they must be trying to break through the gates! And Howe’s men must be everywhere!”

 

“I wonder if father locked himself in his study.” Kai looked at her mother’s face shining in fine sheen of sweat with a dark smudge across her forehead.

 

“If not there, then the front gates.” Eleanor looked in the direction of the Great Hall.

 

“What if he isn’t in either place?” Kai swallowed hard after saying this. Her stomach felt as if it had ice in it. The alternative was something she didn’t want to think about.

 

“Listen darling, we haven’t much time. You must escape. If Fergus or you... if Fergus or you die, the entire Cousland line dies with you. If Howe’s men are inside, they must already control the castle. We must use the servant’s entrance in the larder,” her mother’s eyebrow cocked at this in their code, “Do you hear me?”

 

Kai nodded, but grumbled under breath, “I want Howe dead!”

 

“Then survive and visit vengence upon him.” Eleanor gripped Kai’s arm, giving her what she and Fergus referred to as ‘the look.’ It brooked no argument. Kai smiled and nodded again, giving her mother’s hand a squeeze.

 

She looked at the soldiers awaiting orders, “Go and help at the front gates.” They all nodded save one, who lingered.

 

“My Ladyship, My Lady, I prefer to stay and guard you.” Kai just nodded and motioned the man to follow her. They all turned back to the library. Kai wanted to see if Bryce had locked himself in his study. They entered the library, and there lay Aldous. He had been hit over the head, with such a force that Kai could see... she turned from the sight, she didn’t want to think about that.

 

She heard her mother talking to his body as she looked to see that the study door was open,

“Aldous,  you will be avenged old sage, I swear it!”

 

“Father isn’t here, mother, he must be at the gates as you surmised.” Maker please let him be at the gates! Kai took one last look at her old tutor. She had a moment to be grateful that the two young squires were in Highever town at home, safe in their beds. At least she hoped they would be, and that Howe wasn’t planning on turning his army on the town too. She pushed that frightening thought away.

 

She took one look around her family’s beloved library, to make sure none of Howe’s men were hiding in the stacks, before she gently tugged her mother’s shoulder. They all filed out of the library.  Kai threw one last look over her shoulder at Aldous’s prone form before starting down the ramp towards the Great Hall and the front gates.

 

Her mother stopped her halfway down the ramp, “We are getting near the family treasury, Kai.  The Cousland family blade lies inside, as does your father’s shield. They mustn’t fall into enemy hands. Use the sword to sever Howe’s treacherous head from his traitorous body, my darling. We have time to get it.” Kai felt her mother rummage in the pack on her back, before proffering a black wrought iron key.

 

“I will give it to Father along with his shield when we find him.” She tried to pitch her voice more confidently than she felt.

 

Kai gave her mother a smile, and took the key, it felt heavy and cold. They all turned and made their way to the treasury. The guards, whom she had told to go back to their game of cards earlier in the day, were dead defending the inner chamber. It looked as though Howe’s men had tried one of their hand held battering rams on the thick oaken door but had given up. The metal bands of the door had mage runes in them, fortifying the door. It must have felt as though they were chiseling at the door with a spoon. She put the key into the lock and turned it.

 

The air in the treasury was still, the big booming sounds of the siege on the gates were muffled. Kai’s grandfather Malcolm had been a man ahead of his time. He had put mage lights in treasury. A simple waving of one’s hand over the rune set in the wall by the door, lit up the same kind of mage light that lit the interiors of carriages.

 

Kai waved her own fingers over the run which glowed faintly so it could be seen in the dark and the room lit up. There were more stacks of books, some written by her ancestors, including Malcolm, mostly about the rebellion. Diaries, journals, rare and beloved books handed down from generation to generation of Couslands were here. Along with the most important papers, including a copy of her father’s report on his meeting with Empress Celene on Cailan’s behalf, birth certificates, and the like. The family’s special armor and weapons were kept along with books and papers. Fergus had taken their uncle Iain’s sword and shield. Father’s was still here, along with his dragonbone plate mail armor named “Cousland’s Valor and imbued with runes like her mother’s bow. The armor was Bryce’s gift from King Maric and Queen Rowan for his service to Ferelden during the Rebellion.

 

Kai ran a finger along it gently before she directed Cluny and the guard to grab the armor while she grabbed one of the two Cousland Family swords. Her father had inherited the one sword, as the older of two brothers, from ancestors past. When Grandfather Malcolm had two sons who were shield warriors, he had a duplicate sword made for uncle Iain, who had sacrificed himself as the younger brother in the battle at White River; the battle’s defeat a stunning loss for the rebellion.

 

Kai cradled the original sword with reverence. She would help her father don on his armor and strap on this sword, and they as a family would get to Ostagar, find Fergus and tell the King. Howe would be brought to justice. End of story.

 

She strapped on the sheath with the sword across her back and the shield she carried strapped to her arm, though she would never use it, it was just easier to carry that way. Or so she thought. They were ambushed by two mabari, two archers, and a shield warrior on their way out of the treasury. The shield kept the mabari from getting her throat as she had raised the bulwark just in time and the dog found itself scrabbling for purchase on the slick surface until her mother dropped it with an arrow in the eye. The second mabari was being taken care of by Argus and her mother. Once the two war hounds were out of the way, the fight was almost anti-climactic.

 

The next fight not so much, as it had a mage in it. They had finally, Andraste’s frilly knickers, made it to the Great Hall,only to find Ser Gilmore and the Higherver Castle knights fighting Howe’s men who were trying to open the gates to the army that was supposedly delayed. The booming noise was even louder here. Kai found herself engaging the mage. She cut off the woman’s hand holding her staff, only to find frost still snaking along her armor as the other hand still held the spell. The mage’s head came next; Kai learned her lesson well, if not a little late as the skin on her hand had cracked with the cold.

 

The room was utter chaos. What seemed to take hours, took in reality, only a few moments. Kai looked around at the dead bodies littering the hall. She turned when she heard Ser Gilmore talking to the Highever soldiers, “Go man the gates! Keep those bastards out as long as you can!” She watched him turn toward her and her mother, “Your Ladyship! My Lady! You’re both alive! I was certain Howe’s men, the ones who came with him had gotten through.

 

Kai grasped his arm, it was apparent her father was not here after all. “Have you seen my father, Gilly?”

 

“He was looking for you two, he told me to hold the gates as long as possible. If you’ve another way out of the castle, use it. And use it quickly!”

 

Kai looked at her childhood friend. She had lost her love, her sister-in-law, her nephew. She didn’t want to lose anyone else she loved, she didn’t think her heart could take it. “Come with us!”

 

“If I do that you won’t make it out before the gates fall.” He looked at her mother, “Please go! When last I saw the teyrn, he was badly wounded and headed towards the servant’s entrance. I begged him not to go but he was determined to find you.”

 

Ser Gilmore started to turn away from them and go to the gates. Kai grabbed his arm and spun him back to face her. “No, you must come with us!”

 

He simply looked at her with a funny little pained smile on his lips, his sea green eyes sparkling with something she could not read. “Please go!  My Lady, Kaidana, Kai...” Ser Gilmore, grabbed her hand, and placed it on his chest over his heart, entwining their fingers. She could feel the mad beat of it. He cupped her face with his other hand, then wound it in her hair at the nape of her neck pulling her face to his as his lips covered hers. Almost before she could comprehend that his kiss had told her he was in love with her, he spun her around and gave her a gentle, yet firm, nudge on the shoulder towards the door leading out towards the kitchens.

 

Kai was too stunned to do anything but walk obediently towards the door. Her mother gave Ser Gilmore a sad smile. “Bless you Ser Gilmore, Maker watch over you.”

 

She felt herself flinch at his response. “Maker watch over us all.” Kai turned at the door to see Ser Gilmore, Silly Gilly, running and putting his back to the door of the Great Hall. Bracing himself, leg muscles tensed, fighting to hold back Howe’s men to save her.

 

Another memory, painted into her mind, what kind of collage she would have, she wondered, before she turned and walked out of the door leaving Gilly behind.

 

 


	8. Time to Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai and her mother find her Bryce, and Duncan finds them. Sometimes goodbyes are the hardest thing to do of all, and this on in game broke my heart and required tissues, many of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all except for what I made up. Thank you again for all of your love, back at ya! *HUGS* I hope the multiple postings will make up for the long dry spell.

Kai felt her stomach churning. She wanted to grab Gilly and drag him with them. She wanted to go back in time and save Landra, Oriana, Oren, and Dairren; she wanted return to that moment that was only hours ago, and seemed like days, and kill Howe in the Great Hall as he stood talking to her father. She felt her stomach threatening to heave again, and she was developing a splitting headache. The cuts she had and the welts from the Mabari’s claws were itching and burning from sweat. She felt exhausted suddenly, as if the air had become heavy.

 

That was until she heard the desperate screaming coming from down the corridor straight ahead. Heedless of her promise to Ser Gilmore to go and save herself she ran towards the sounds, turning the corner and hearing yet more screams from the servant’s quarters to her right. Argus being the quickest had shown up first. She signaled for him to be ready to charge. She opened the door to find one soldier shoving his hands up the skirt of one of the female servants, while his friend had his fist pulled back to hit one of the men who worked under Cluny.

 

She motioned for Argus to take the soldier with his hand raised, while she went after the man trying to molest the girl, “Why don’t you try me? Or do you only want trysts with those who can’t fight back?” She gave him a wicked little grin

 

Howe’s pig pushed the woman down to the floor, “Stay there whore, when I am done with this little chit, you and I can go back to where we were.” He turned back to Kai grinning and putting a big meaty hand to his cod piece, “Come here girly girl, I got enough for both of you.”

 

Kai let him get close enough to run a finger over her collar bone, before she gave him an cold smile and dropped down, her legs stretched out front to back flat on the floor, while driving her dagger upward and in between the space of the cuisse and the man’s cod piece.

 

She then laid on her back and did a scissor legged kick that brought her to a standing position.  She watched him dispassionately while he squealed, blood gushing between his fingers, “I have to say, I’m not impressed by what you have.”  Kai stepped over the man who whose life blood was spilling from him with the rapid beating of his heart.

 

Her mother, Cluny, and the Highever Knight had filed into the room. Her mother and Cluny went to check on the young man who was sitting up, shaking his head. The guard stood in the doorway keeping a look out.

 

Kai bent towards the girl offering her hand, “Are you badly hurt?” Kai looked at the girl, who shook her head, “Come with us, we are headed to the servant’s entrance. I want you and...”

 

“Flynn, My Lady. I’m Cora; we’re on the night staff.” The girl smiled shyly, “Thank you, for coming to our rescue.” She flushed and looked away as she took Kai’s hand.

 

“I want you and Flynn to follow us. Stay behind us, if there is fighting and we are close enough, I want you to go to the servant’s entrance, and I want you to run, run fast. Keep on running, do you hear me? Don’t stop for anything until you reach Highever town.” Kai gently grasped Cora’s shoulder. “Do you understand me Cora, no matter what you hear?”

 

Kai watched as Cora flushed but nodded and looked her in the eye, “I promise, My Lady.”

 

Kai gave her a smile and squeezed her shoulder. She looked to her mother and Cluny. They nodded, Flynn was fit to travel, “Let’s go, we need to leave, the gates... “ Kai had to swallow hard at the thought of the gates bursting open on Gilly and the rest, “The gates may not last much longer. We need to move now!” Add that she desperately wanted to find her father.  Wounded, Ser Gilmore had said. She clenched and unclenched her hands. She started towards the door; the knight gave the all clear. Her mind was racing, the fight had carried her earlier fatigue away like leaf fallen into a river swollen with rain.

 

She moved back the way they had come, and past the closed door of the Great Hall, the large booming noise beating in time like the heart of some giant beast about to devour them all. She moved back up and the ramp towards the corridor leading to the pantry and the kitchens. She snuck a peak around the corner.

 

It was all clear, and they moved forward, only to have the storage room door at the end of the corridor open and have more of Howe’s men swarm out like a beehive that had been over turned. Kai opened the door to the kitchens and ushered Flynn, Cora, and Cluny into it. Only Cluny refused and Kai didn’t have time to argue. She slammed the door shut on Cora and Flynn, and spun to face their new foes.

 

Mayhem ensued the corridor was narrow and there at least five men. Make that six; one was a knight in full steel armor all in black. The shadows had cloaked him so that Kai almost missed his presence. His giant mace didn’t miss her, however. Only her quick reflexes kept it from smashing in her ribs completely and killing her on the spot.

 

The mace caught a glancing blow, though, enough that she felt a sickening crunch as some of her ribs cracked.  The pain made her world go white for a moment. A heavy metal booted foot shoved into her chest knocking her on her back, causing more pain to flair along her side, so much so, she hardly felt the hard stone jarring her back as she landed awkwardly.

 

If she lived through this she would be a patchwork of bruises. Her musings were interrupted by the knight raising his mace high over his head, readying it to smash down on her head. Two arrows whistled through the air and landed in the space between his cuirass and his pauldron, sinking deeply into his armpit.

 

From the rush of air expelled and the gurgles accompanying the breath, it was clear that Wicked Grace had hit its mark yet again-this time piercing a lung. The mace dropped with a clatter on to the stone tile behind him, one gauntlet reaching for the arrows. Kai got herself up and on her feet. She returned the favor he had bestowed upon her and put a booted foot into his chest knocking him backwards.

 

His breathing burbled as if he was trying to breathe water and she could see the blood running down the man’s neck from under the helmet. Kai took the Cousland blade out of the sheath on her back and put the point through the eye slit of the helmet, the bubbling noises stopped.

 

Kai clenched her arm tight to her wounded side and turned to see that Cluny sported a cut along his upper arm, Argus had a few shallower cuts. The Highever guard had new scratches in his armor, but looked unharmed; as was her mother. Only Kai seemed to be the only one to have suffered a more serious injury.

 

Kai started going over the bodies. She gave Cluny and the guard two of the money bags she found on the bodies. Her mother looked her with concern, but Kai shook her head. It wasn’t that bad, in fact now it was just a dull heavy throb along her side. Her cuirass kept her torso from moving too much and that helped. She started to bend down to pick up her father’s shield where she had dropped it to free her hand up, but the pain had her gasp. Cluny bent down and gently placed it on her arm.

 

They went into the kitchen to find that neither Flynn nor Cora had gone through the servants’ entrance as she had directed them to. She was about to chastise them when she noticed the cloth covered figures, stained with crimson blossoms, laying in various places around the room.  Her first thought was that Nan was going to skin them all and tack their hides to the kitchen wall for using her tablecloths. This started to cause hysterical laughter to bubble up from her throat. She clamped it down and went to the body Cora and Flynn stood over nearest the pantry door.

 

They looked at her with concerned faces. She tried to ignore the increased pounding of her heart, but she couldn’t stop her hand from shaking as she reached out to lift the corner of the cloth.

 

From the looks of it, Nan had put up one hell of a fight. She knew that, not only was Nan fierce and stubborn as a mabari; but she had fought with her mother in the Rebellion. That dear old face was the most peaceful Kai had ever seen it. The room had gone misty, and she realized when the tears spilled over, that she was crying.

 

It was her mother’s heart-rending sobbing over her best, oldest, and dearest friend since childhood that made Kai swallow down her own grief and put an arm around her mother placing the Teyrna’s silvered head on her shoulder hugging her. She gave her a few moments, all she felt they could spare, “Come Mamae, we need to go. We need to find Father and we need to leave.”

 

Kai helped her mother up. Watched as Eleanor wiped tears from her cheeks and set her face in a resolved expression. Kai nodded, turning to Cluny, the other servants, and the guard, “I want you all to go through the servant’s entrance. Just leave my father’s armor in the corridor leading to it.” She turned to the soldier, “I want you to escort them to safety. Makes sure they get to Highever town.” He nodded.

 

Kai touched the shrouded figure of Nan on last time before heading to the door of the pantry. She and her mother ran in. It was dimly lit, making the pantry almost like a cave. One lone torch on the wall flickered. “There you both are!  I...was wondering when you would get here.”

 

Kai and her mother both spun and ran when they saw her father’s prone form lying in the shadows. He sat in a puddle of dark liquid and Kai had a fleeting moment to wonder if he had spilled one of Nan’s jars of cooking oil. Then it struck her that it must be his blood.

 

Her mother ran to help him lean on her and sit up. “Maker’s blood, what’s happening? You’re bleeding!”

 

 Kai grabbed a stack of Nan’s dishtowels and one of the table clothes. She put a stack of the dishtowels, pressing hard into the wound, causing Bryce to wince and suck in air. She hated to cause him pain but she needed the bleeding to stop. “Howe’s, men...found me first, almost... did me in right there.” His voice came in gasps as she placed his hand over the dishtowels to hold them in place. They were already becoming soaked, the blood seeping through. It made her own heart want to stop.

 

Instead she concentrated on using her dagger to rip the tablecloth into bandages, readying them for the new stack of dishtowels she intended to bind him up with. There was a noise behind her and Kai realized that the servants and the knight were behind her. “You-” she looked at the guard, whose name had eluded her as she had been a bit busy, until now, “Kenrick, right?” He nodded, “Escort Cluny, Flynn, and Cora out of here.”

 

“No, My Lady, I will stay and watch the door. I figure you can’t fire me, so I won’t follow your order just yet.”  He gave her a smile, “When I know that you and the Teyrn, and Teryna, are on the move, or you have more protection, only then shall I be happy to carry out your orders.”

 

“Kenrick is right, we stay with you, My Lady, your Lordship, your Ladyship.” Cluny nodded at them and turned to walk to stand with Kenrick at the Pantry door keeping watch. Flynn and Cora started moving her father’s armor into the corridor, towards the servant’s entrance, as she had asked. Kai found herself caught with equal parts exasperation and admiration.

 

Kai turned back to her task, gently removing the first set of towels, only to find them heavy and dripping. She put the clean set in and started to bind them in place. She was wrapping it around and she caught her father looking at her. His eyes told her she needn’t bother. She swallowed hard and ignored that look. “We need to get you out of here!”

 

“I...I won’t survive the standing I think.” He looked at Kai, and gave her a rueful smile.

 

“That’s not true! You’ll be fine!” Kai’s went numb, she refused to believe otherwise.

 

“Ah, my darling girl!  If only your will could make it so.” He stroked her cheek.

 

“Once Howe’s men have broken through the gate, they will find us. We must go!” Eleanor looked at Kai.

 

Bryce grimaced and grasped the bandages. “Someone...must reach Fergus...tell him what has happened.”

 

“You can tell him yourself Father!” Kai brushed a hand across his forehead.

 

“Bryce, we can get you out of here, find you healing magic!” Kai watched the desperation on her mother’s face mirror her own.

 

“The castle is...surrounded. I ...cannot make it.” Kai heard footsteps behind them and they all turned to see Duncan sheathing his sword.

 

Duncan stopped to speak with Kenrick and Cluny at the door. They both nodded to Duncan, and bowed to Kai and her family before leaving via the servants’ entrance with Cora and Flynn, “I am afraid Bryce speaks the truth. Howe’s men have not yet discovered this exit, but they have surrounded the castle. Getting past will be...difficult.”  Duncan knelt on one knee beside her mother, putting his hand on Eleanor’s shoulder.

 

“Duncan, old friend, I am sorry to meet like this.” Kai watched her mother cover Duncan’s hand with her own with a friendly squeeze.

 

“I am sorry Ellie. Bryce and I tried to find you sooner.” Kai realized from the way her parents were looking at Duncan, and his use of the nickname only family ever called her mother, that Duncan was an old and close friend indeed.

 

Eleanor looked at Kai, her green eyes filled with pride. “My daughter helped me get here.”

 

“I am not surprised, Ellie, not surprised at all.” Duncan glanced over at Kai and gave her a slight smile

 

“Whatever is to be done now, it must be done quickly, they are coming!” Her mother looked at Duncan. And Kai realized that the constant booming noise was still going on, she had just been tuning it out.

 

She watched her father’s face flash with a look of desperation that made her heart catch in throat. “Duncan, old friend, I beg you,  take my wife and daughter to safety.”

 

Duncan’s face was stoic, save for something fleeting that crossed it, but Kai couldn’t read the emotion.“I will, my friend, but I fear I must ask for something in return.” He looked at Kai and then back at her father, “What has happened here tonight pales in comparison to the evil now loose in the world. I came to the castle seeking a recruit. The darkspawn threat demands that I leave with one.” Duncan put a hand on her father’s shoulder this time.

 

Her father glanced at her, then back at Duncan. A knowing look passed between them. “I...understand.”

 

Kai’s mind was reeling. Here they were with their lives in danger and he was recruiting her? Gilly!  Surely Gilly would leave the gate if Duncan the Grey Warden Commander told him to. Then he too, could be saved, “What? Are you talking about me? What about Ser Gilmore?”

 

Duncan’s dark green eyes looked into her blue ones. “Truthfully, you were always my first choice.” He turned back to her father, “I will take the Teyrna and your daughter to Ostagar to tell Fergus and the king what happened. Then Kai joins the Grey Wardens.”

 

Kai’s breath hitched, “But what if Fergus is dead?”

 

Duncan’s face held what, sympathy?  “We will inform the king and he will punish Howe. I’m sorry, but a Grey Warden’s duties take precedence over revenge.”

 

Kai narrowed her eyes. I am not a Grey Warden yet, you sneaky bastard. Her father’s voice brought her back to the present, no doubt reading her face and her thoughts as he always did. He grasped her arm giving it an affectionate tug. “Howe thinks he’ll use the chaos to advance himself. Make him wrong, Pup. See that justice is done. Our family...”  He smiled a sad, loving, and desperate smile at her. “Our family always does our duty first. The darkspawn must be defeated. You must go, Kaidana, for your own sake, for Ferelden’s.”

 

She swallowed around the lump in her throat. She felt as though a giant hand was squeezing her heart to a pulsing bruise. “I will, Fathe, for you.”

 

She put her hand on his hand that had been lying on her arm, taking it and entwining their fingers.  She never wanted to let it go, she didn’t think she could.

 

“My fierce girl.” The smile he gave her shattered her heart.

 

“Bryce, are you sure?” Eleanor grasped his face with her hands and looked him in the eyes.

 

He smiled and then looked back at Kai, his eyes bright. “Our daughter will not die of Howe’s treachery! She will live and make her mark on the world!”

 

Her mother looked first at Bryce before turning her gaze to Kai. “Darling, go with Duncan. You have a better chance to escape without me.”

 

“Elle...” Her father gasped, using his own pet name for her, looking at her mother in protest.

 

“Hush, Bryce! I’ll kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy them time. But I won’t abandon you!” Her mother grasped his face with her hands and kissed him, stroking his cheek.

 

“I won’t let you sacrifice yourself, Mamae!” Kai felt the tears falling, from fear, sadness, and anger.

 

“My place is with your father, Kaidana, to death and beyond!” She smiled at Kai.

 

“I love you both so much!  I....” Kai choked, nothing would come out. She could only look from one to the other.

 

“Then live, darling! Become a Grey Warden and do what’s right.” Eleanor reached out a hand to her grasping Kai’s free hand, so that they were linked, hand to hand, child to parents.

 

Her father’s hand convulsed in pain, “I am...sorry it has come to this, my love.” Kai could feel the tears rolling off of her chin, her them making a popping noise as they hit the leather skirt of her armor.

 

She looked up to see Duncan’s bearded face set in one of infinite sorrow. His own eyes were bright. She had only a moment to wonder at this before her mother’s voice drew her attention. “We have had a good life and done all we could.  It’s up to our children now.”

 

There was a large crashing sound, and the voices of many men shouting all at once. Gilly! The sound caused Duncan to turn and look at the door, and he spun back grasping her shoulder like a vice. “We must go now, they are coming!”  Kai could hear the shouting getting louder. Duncan’s hand grasped her shoulder heaving her to her feet and practically dragging her with him. Argus was following.

 

She yanked her shoulder from his grasp and stopped when her father spoke. “Go Pup! Warn your brother, know we love you both. You do us proud, Kaidana, my fierce girl!” Her father gave her a wide grin.

 

Duncan’s big strong hand grabbed her, by the upper arm this time, his long fingers wrapping themselves completely around, “Now Kaidana! We must go, Kai!” He yanked her backwards once more to the servant’s entrance.

 

Kai watched as her mother gently set her father down. Watched as she grabbed Wicked Grace, and knocked her first missile. She saw father’s eyes never leaving hers, nor did her mother’s. Painting a memory, Kia wanted to giggle hysterically or scream, or both at the same time. As she was disappearing into the shadows of the narrow corridor leading to the servant’s entrance she heard her mother say, “Goodbye, darling, Kaidana.”  

 

 


	9. Death by a Thousand Stings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai and Duncan must make their escape from Highever Castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. 
> 
> So Kai had to leave mom and dad in the larder. These next few chapters are entirely my creation. So, I hope you like them.  
> Thanks for all the kudos!

Kai took one last in the direction of her mother and father and then pulled Duncan back by the arm. “We aren’t leaving by the servant’s entrance.” She pointed to her father’s armor. “Grab that, if you please, I’ll not lose it to Howe too.” Kai pushed past Duncan after grabbing the shield and held it like an overly large and unwieldy platter. She put her father’s helmet and smaller pieces to the armor set and piled them on the shield while Duncan grabbed the rest.

 

Kai waited until he had it all and then she backtracked a little down the corridor stopping about halfway down the bend. She felt for the stone with a certain crescent shaped depression, which in torchlight looked like a natural flaw in the rock, but could easily be felt in the dark. When she had the one she sought, she pushed in and a faint grinding noise could be heard and a darkened doorway opened before them as part of the wall slid to the side.

 

She nodded to Duncan, “Go in ten steps then stop.” He took one look at the doorway and one at her, cocking his eyebrow before disappearing into the darkness.

 

She was tempted to close the door on him and go back to her parents. Three things prevented it; her father’s promise to Duncan, her promise to her father, and the fact that Duncan would never figure out how to get out of that secret passage and room without her and would subsequently die trapped. So she stepped back into the darkness herself, feeling along the wall near the door for the stone that would close the door mechanism once again.

 

The wall, door really, slid back into place, but not before Kai heard the sounds of men yelling as they ran into the pantry and her mother’s war cry. Kai felt the urge to vomit again, and just held it in check. She leaned with her forehead against the cool stone trying to fight a wave of dizziness.

 

Taking deep breathes she cleared her mind and buckled it all down, pushing away the mental images of what was going on just a few feet away. She was fighting the urge to open the door and kill as many of Howe’s men as she could so hard, that her hands were shaking with the effort; causing her father's armor to make a rattling noise within the shield.

 

Kai turned one step to her right and felt along the wall of her reaching straight across until she found the little alcove and what she sought. Her fingers hit the little lantern and she brought it to her lips and blew on it softly.  The mage’s rune stone in the middle of the lantern started with a slight glow in the sigils on its surface and then became unreadable as the glow strengthened and brightened. The corridor was lit with a soft light like autumn sunshine. Kai saw Duncan squinting at the sudden change from absolute dark to false daylight.

 

Her grandfather Malcolm had grown up under the Orlesian occupation, and had been a constant supporter of Moira the Rebel Queen. Being a part of the rebellion had made Grandpapa Malcolm a bit of a realistic paranoid. And he’d had a fascination and love of dwarven engineering. He commissioned casteless dwarves, living topside, to install indoor plumbing at Highever. And while that had been something her grandsire had wanted for Highever from the moment he had seen indoor plumbing in action in Orazmmar; that design was to cover for the real design Malcolm had wanted done. He had the dwarven engineers build a secret passageway that lead to a room and a secret exit, so that should he and the family need it, they could use it to flee Meghren’s Chevaliers.

 

How ironic that she was fleeing not Orlesians, but a man who had fought side by side with her father against them, and how ironic she was leaving her family to die, instead of fleeing through this passage at their side. Guilt threatened to overwhelm her so she pushed it down and locked it away, bolting the door shut on the part of her that was screaming at her to GO BACK RIGHT NOW! SAVE THEM! She schooled her face and handed Duncan the lantern. She noticed him looking at her, so she turned and grabbed the twin of the first lantern, blowing on it to start the magic within it.

 

“Just follow the passage way, it will lead to a room.” Kai use the hand that held the lantern to point forward. Duncan looked at her for a moment before nodding and turning in the narrow corridor and walking the way she indicated. Kai watched his retreating back before taking one last glance at the stone door and turning to follow.

 

She watched the shadows stretch and move like cats along the walls as her lantern and his created pools of light in the darkness. Duncan’s light disappeared for a moment only to shine in a larger if more muted aura of light as he turned the corner and his lantern entered the larger open space that was the room she had told him of.

 

She turned the corner and found Duncan had put the lantern on of the shelves and he was placing her father’s armor gently down with an air of reverence. It was the expression on his face that made Kai’s heart clench. It was the same look he had given her parents in the pantry, one of intense sorrow. She brought the rest of the armor over and handed one piece at time to Duncan. He started to take the shield too, but Kai gripped it to her, shaking her head, “I will take it with me and give it to Fergus, along with the sword. They're his...”  Kai swallowed hard, “They are his now.” Duncan merely nodded.

 

Kai turned to examine the contents of the room, and found Argus sitting next to the pack made for him to carry. Kai patted him on the head and started gathering the bags piled in the room, working quickly. Each pack had their initials on it. They were filled with clothing, money, toiletries, dried meat, fruit and other non-perishable food items; along with other necessities like soap, sewing kits, paste, leather thongs for armor and whet stones. They’d had drills in which they come down the passage and grabbed their packs and snuck out the secret exit. She’d never done a drill where she would paw through her family’s packs to scavenge from them. Her breath was constricting painfully in her lungs.

 

Duncan caught on to what she was doing and started to dump packs out taking out the things that would be useful. Kai watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was quick but respectful, placing clothing off to the side as well as items that they couldn’t use. He gently took the bag that was supposed to be Oren’s and started to put it aside. Kai took it and dug around in it until she had what she sought, a stuffed bunny with triangles under the line of embroidery for the mouth, giving the rabbit sharp pointy fangs: one of Oren’s spare ‘dire bunnies.’

 

Kai remembered the day her mother and Oriana had sat in the atrium sewing multiple dire bunnies for Oren, as his others seemed to have accidents, or become so well loved they died from the affection. So Kai had suggested they keep several on hand to replace those that fell into the fire or the lake or when they finally got too dirty and worn to be patched. Kai having no talent for the more “delicate ladies’ arts” had not made a dire bunny, but she had carved him a dragon out of wood and painted it for him while her mother and Oriana had worked with needle and thread. The dragon was still in his room, with his cooling corpse she supposed. Kai’s hand closed reflexively around the stuffed bunny squeezing it, until she got herself under control. She quickly placed the stuffed rabbit into her pack, and handed Oren’s back to Duncan and he set it aside without a word.

 

“I think you should take my brother Fergus’ pack and the clothes out of my... father’s. They were similar in size, Fergus is a little taller. But I think their clothes will fit you.” Kai pointed towards the pile of clothes neatly folded that Duncan had set aside from one of the packs, “You will probably want some civilian clothes while we travel. Your armor is beautiful, but a little conspicuous.” Duncan gave her an appraising look and she shrugged, “At this point Howe doesn’t know if I'm alive, but he will. How much he is going to want me dead, or how hard he is willing to try and make it so, we have yet to know. We may need to be very careful on our way to Ostagar. That is of course assuming we get out of the castle alive.” Kai gave Duncan a sardonic grin.

 

She made sure all the food was still good, it was changed out on a regular basis, in case. And it looked free of mold or rot. She packed it in the pack that had been made specifically for Argus along with the money. Argus’ backpack was modified harness with a leather pouch that had its opening in a slit running length ways on the large leather pack, with ties in the opening, and a long leather flap that covered the bag from one side and tied on the other side. Argus of course  had been trained to carry it on his back, and it made a handy extra compartment to carry things as Argus needed no clothes so his pack had more room for other things, including extra empty packs.

 

She got Argus into his pack and looked to see Duncan strapping on his backpack and he grabbed her father’s shield and strapped it on his arm.  He nodded to her. She indicated he should grab his lantern. He did, and she tapped the top to have the rune go dark. Hers she kept lit for the moment.  

 

Kai led Duncan to stand in front of a wall with shelves on it, and indicated he should stay in that spot with Argus. She then went to one of the walls to his left. She put her foot on the stone second from the corner and she tapped the lantern to dim the mage stone, before the light went out completely she reached up and put her fingers in the stone that had holes in it as if made by a river and pulled out while stepping smartly on the stone at her foot. The door slid open without a sound, not even a grinding noise. She had no idea how the dwarves managed that.

 

They stepped out cautiously into the private family garden that held the bee hives and lead to the orchards. It was the private area that the family used. There were so many happy memories here, Cousland Camaraderie Day, but no more. She and Fergus might be the only Couslands left. And she still had to get out of the castle, so that wasn’t a given. Kai wanted to giggle and swallowed it down. She distracted herself by packing the lanterns in Argus’s pack.

 

It was Duncan’s whisper that brought her attention back to where she was, “That is a handy way of opening the door from that room. I’m glad you chose not to leave me in there while you went back to fight, I would have never figured it out.” Kai could only gape at him, as she caught his smile in the moonlight. Did the man read minds?

 

He grinned, and then indicated with his hands that she should look around the corner towards the entry way to the open air corridor leading out of the garden to the castle proper. Kai nodded, stepped around the stone bench, and snuck a look while Duncan looked the other way into the garden.

 

Kai took a surreptitious look around the corner of the small alcove they stood in. She saw four of Howe’s men standing at the opening with their backs to the garden. They faced the corridor as if expecting that she and Duncan might come that way. She wasn’t sorry to disappoint them. She touched Duncan’s arm and held up four fingers. He nodded and held up two.

 

Kai gave Argus hand signals, fingers gently patting her thigh. The mabari gave a low growl in answer. She turned to Duncan and whispered, “Follow my lead. Don’t engage them when they give chase. Just go through the gate, once through it, put your back to the wall behind you and wait.” Duncan nodded, and she grinned at him, “Go!”

 

Kai waited for Duncan to sprint across the garden towards the gate, Argus at his heels. Neither group of soldiers saw them, not even Duncan in plate armor. The man could be stealthy. Kai smiled to herself. The moon was sinking into the western sky, but it cast a cool white light on the landscape. They had a few more hours before the bowl of night faded into the rosy light of dawn.

 

Kai launched herself from the alcove running across the grass, when she reached the open door, she grabbed the great wrought iron key in the lock before turning back to the garden and giving a piercing whistle causing all of Howe’s men to turn and look. She made sure they saw her standing in the doorway, before she slammed the door shut locking it. Pounding started immediately along with yelling. Kai threw the key in a high arc back over the wall.

 

“I hardly see the point of revealing yourself when we had safely made it to the door. Nor do I see the point, young lady, of throwing the key back over! Just what are you up to?!” Duncan practically growled the last statement at her.

 

Kai grinned by way of answer and pulled a circle of metal attached to a fine chain. The yelling stopped, and a loud angry buzzing noise replaced it, followed shortly by screams of pain and fear. Mostly screams of pain. It was music to her ears. She turned to Duncan. “Have you ever seen anyone die from bee stings?” Duncan shook his head, and Kai smiled. “Their throats close up, their tongue sticks out and turns purple and their eyes bug out, like a man who has been hanged.  It's slow, nasty and painful. Of course those that don’t die from it will wish they would. We might want to move. The bees are behind the wall now, but they're angry and will soon give chase in any direction they wish, be it friend or foe.” She gave an evil little chuckle and started moving into the orchard of apple trees.

 

Kai moved through the grass amongst the trunks. The shadows of the branches and leaves were black in the silver moonlight. The fireflies moved among the blades of grass and the leaves of the trees, looking as if the stars had come from the firmament to dance. She and Oren would have snuck out to watch them, would have, if he wasn’t lying in a pool of blood next to his mother. Kai felt her throat constrict, and she pushed those thoughts away.

 

She had gone a few paces when Duncan’s hand on her arm stopped her and spun her to face him. “I understand your using a trap if they had seen us, why did you call attention to us, particularly to yourself?”

 

“I wanted Howe to know I am alive.” She smirked. “You told me that a Grey Warden’s duty would not allow me to go after Howe. But you said nothing about him coming to me instead. One way or another, I will kill him, make no mistake. I will keep my promise to you and my father. But I didn’t promise I wouldn’t try and lure Howe in. I will kill every man or woman he sends until he is forced to come for me himself.”

 

Kai watched Duncan’s brows draw down in a frown. “I see that I should endeavor to be more precise with you, young lady.”

 

“That would probably be wise. If anyone from my past were alive, they would have told you that.” Her voice sounded bitter to her own ears. She started to turn away from Duncan and then turned back. “My father once told me that Death smiles at us all, the only thing you can do is smile back. I wonder, will Howe smile when he comes to me to meet his end after I slit him from navel to nose? It will be interesting to find out don’t you think?”

 

There was a faint noise, a familiar sound off to her right. Duncan walked up to her on her left and in front of her to say something. Whatever he had been about to say was lost as Kai turned on her heel to her right and reached out her left hand and caught the arrow that had been launched from the bow she'd heard the string pulled back on only a moment before. She gave Argus a hand signal for ‘silent’ and ‘kill’. The mabari woofed softly and took off in the long grass in the direction she was facing.

 

It was Duncan’s turn to gape at the arrow clutched in her fist. She grinned and flipped it around. He shook his head, “Handy trick.”  Before he spun around and blocked two more arrows coming from their left with the shield. He took off into the trees towards the two men who had emerged from the shadows while Kai found one man with a sword coming towards her from her right.

 

She grinned and started running towards him going into a flips which sent her right into the man as she ended in a high somersault with her knees on the man’s chest. He fell backwards with her on top of him, his breath expelled in a whoosh of expelled air, ribs making a crackling sound. She took the arrow and stabbed him in the eye with it. A quick flick cut her blade across his throat ended it in a fine spray of blood.

 

She heard two sets of footsteps behind her and she gave a sly smile. She let them get closer before she executed a backwards roll cutting across the Achilles’ tendon of the man on her right and putting an elbow into the knee of Howe’s man on her left. She felt the knee give and bend at an angle the Maker had not intended it to go as her metal studded leather couter connected with his leg. Both men screamed. Kai drew the Cousland blade from its sheath on her back and sheered both their heads from their bodies.

 

Another sound behind her had her spinning to find a shield warrior standing behind her. Kai let him get closer and then she spun and took a running start forward towards the trunks of one of the apple trees. She used her momentum to run up the trunk and leap backwards over the head of her assailant, she had a second to register his very shocked face as she flew over him. She landed behind him and stuck both sword and dagger into his back. The sword went clean through the tip of the long blade sticking into bark. Poor tree, she thought as she pulled the blade from them both.

 

She heard more footsteps including those of a hound. Kai turned to face Duncan and Argus both liberally splattered with blood. She suspected she looked the same. As Duncan approached his eyes got wide and he started to say her name. Kai flipped her sword and daggers over in her hands and thrust backwards. She was rewarded with a grunt of pain and surprise. She gave both blades a quick little twist before pulling them forward again. Duncan raised an eyebrow, shook his head and chuckled.

 

There was a thump noise as the body of the last soldier fell behind her. Kai gave him a sardonic smile and flipped her blades in a hard arc to get as much blood off of them as she could before she sheathed them on her back again. Duncan sheathed his own sword and daggers while walking towards her, “I see you’ve been busy, young lady. I apparently can’t leave you alone for a minute.” He smiled at her.

 

“I never go looking for trouble, ser. I don’t have to; it always knows right where I am. But in this case, we are close to the end of the orchard and near the lake. We can cross land and hit the North Road.” She waved towards the edge of the tree line and they all set out walking. They walked for a few miles before coming to the rise of one hill. Kai couldn’t stop herself, even though she told herself not to. She stopped on the hill. The pink light of dawn was just creeping along the edge of the world. The birds were starting to wake on this spring morning, like any morning in Ferelden. Except it wasn’t any other day for her. She was bathed in blood, and smoke, and death. Her world had been destroyed.

 

She couldn’t stop herself this time. She retched, even though her stomach was empty. Wave after wave of nausea rolled in. Finally her eyes watering, her nose running, and her throat burning; her stomach relaxed enough to let her up. She stood to find Duncan handing her one of the water skins that held watered down wine in it for now (as wine wouldn’t stagnate). She rinsed her mouth out and spat on the ground. She looked at her home, the sky lightening not just from the arrival of a new day, but the fires that Howe had set. Smoke curled into the sky like some black snake. She was mesmerized by it, watching it undulate and coil in on itself. Her mind was blank, her body numb.

 

She was startled when she felt Duncan’s hand on her shoulder. Argus whined and pressed against her thigh. She looked down and gave him a smile, patting his big broad head. She handed Duncan the wine skin and turned back in the direction of the North Road. She concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. She cast one last look behind her before Highever disappeared from her view, burning it into her mind; before she followed Duncan onward.

 

 


	10. Cutting Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai has been walking around with some major heavy guilt, what are the repercussions? Read on and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up.
> 
> WARNING! This is a super angsty chapter and it deals with issues of attempted suicide. Please, if this is a sensitive topic for you, you may want to avoid it. I just wanted to warn you my fans, I care for you all. 
> 
> Again, thanks for all the hits, the kudos, and any comments or reviews. I appreciate your input and support more than I can say.

They traveled for a week, maybe more, stopping only when darkness fell and they hit the road again by first light. And quite frankly, Kai wouldn’t have cared less if it rained, or snowed, or fire fell from the sky. She was numb during the day. Walking such long distances helped with that. Putting one foot in front of the other took on monumental importance. It was easy to concentrate on nothing else and keep her mind blank.

 

But after a few days where the walking became easier as her body had gotten used to it, the physical exhaustion that had allowed her a dreamless sleep was no longer there. And the dreams began in earnest. Being chased through Highever in her shift and no weapons, forgetting she knew how to fight was the mildest. But her brain rarely gave her the ‘nice one’ as she had come to call it. Instead it seemed intent on tormenting her. The dreams where she was forced to relive that night, but in gruesome detail; or there was the dream where her brain made up what happened to her parents (soldiers holding her mother down while her father had to watch) or Howe’s men hacking Gilly into pieces. They were all horrid and woke her from sleep without question. But the one that was the worst, started off as lovely. She would be in Highever castle, and her mind would make her believe that she really had dreamed all the horrors of that night; that she was really home and everyone was safe, and alive. The dream would lure her into a sense of joy and relief. She would be so happy... until Oren’s sweet little boy voice would pop up from behind telling her he had an ‘owie,’ and would his auntie fix it for him? And without fail she would turn to find her nephew, pale skin, hollows where the eyes would have been, sunken cheeks and a huge spot of black blood on his front. He would tilt that skeletal head on his emaciated neck and beg her with blue lips to fix it. She would back away, and start running with him following after her begging. Then the others would join in; Mother, Father, Oriana, Dairren, Lady Landra, Gilly. All dead and with no eyes, all begging her to fix it, until she would in this nightmare, run to the kitchens. And there Nan would be, same as the rest, a walking corpse, but she wouldn’t ask Kai to fix it; she would just point and ask if Kai remembered the tale of Hohaku. And that dream wouldn’t let her wake until she got to Nan. She had to go through the whole scenario over and over again.

 

That particular nocturnal specter came to be the one that haunted her the most. No sooner would she close her eyes then it would start. And the feelings of guilt would linger long after she awoke. She would lay down wrapped in her blanket, and pretend to sleep. She would try and stay awake for as long as she could. But that only lasted so long before her eyelids would droop and she would find herself in that cruel mockery of home. It was no more than she deserved she supposed. She hadn’t protected her sister-in-law, or her nephew, and she wouldn’t blame Fergus if he never forgave her. She hadn’t saved Dairren, or his mother. She hadn’t saved Gilly or her parents; instead she left them all to save herself. She cursed herself for promising her father that she would live.

 

And the more she thought about it, the more angered she was that Duncan had blackmailed her father in the pantry into making her a Grey Warden. She would have joined, but to hold a supposed friend’s fear for the safety of his wife and child as incentive? That thought kept wiggling in her head like a worm in a rotten apple.

 

So she pushed down all her anger and her fear, her pain and her grief, and she locked it all away in a box and threw it into the inner recesses of the well of her soul. The guilt was the only thing she couldn’t seem to shove away. And it kept getting worse, so much so, that her days were becoming haunted too. She kept hearing the little voice in her head that told her she should have stayed; should have told Duncan to sod off. The voice that loved to tell her in sly little whispers that she should have fought alongside her mother until the end, that she would be free and in the Fade with all of them if she had. The nasty little imp in her head that giggled and laughed and told her it was too late, Fergus was probably dead too, that Howe must have sent someone to get him and now she was going to have to live with it. The little sing song murmur that kept telling her that she was all alone now: alone, alone, alone it repeated, with each footstep, and until she couldn’t sleep for hearing nothing but the echo bouncing around in her head. She was tormented when she was awake, and when she was asleep. Damned if she did, and damned if she didn’t. It didn’t seem to matter.

 

So when Duncan had them stopping at an inn in  the Bannorn of Rainesfere, Kai was more than happy to stop walking and hoped that sleeping in a bed would make the nightmares stop, if only for a night. Andraste’s holy knickers, what she wouldn’t do for one night of dreamless sleep. Maybe then the little voice when she was awake would, Maker’s blood, also shut up.

 

Duncan had insisted that they walk around Lake Calenhad to the Western Bannorn of Bann Teagan as they both knew that Teagan was loyal to Cailan and an honest man. They would book passage on a boat across the lake to Redcliffe and then they could continue to the Hinterlands and to Ostagar. This small bit of information was the most they had conversed since they left Highever. Other than informing her of his reasons for taking the longer route, Duncan seemed content to leave her be.

 

The unusually dry Ferelden spring had given way to unseasonable summer rains, turning the roads to small rivers filled with boot sucking mud. They checked into an Inn near Lake Calenhad called the Hunter’s Horn. Kai in her mentally and physically exhausted state had a moment to wonder which ‘horn’ on the hunter they meant. She stifled the urge to giggle hysterically. Duncan turned to look at her. Well, maybe she hadn’t restrained it enough. She thought she might be losing her mind, she figured it for a short trip if she was. She stifled another bit of laughter bubbling in her throat.

 

Her physical and mental fatigue gave the world a surreal quality. She had a wild thought, could someone die from suppressing grief? She supposed if one could, then she was well on her way. Again she swallowed her mirth, biting her lower lip so hard it drew blood, she could taste a sudden spurt of salt.

 

Both she and Duncan had taken, what could loosely be called a bath, in the River Dane and then dressed in the civilian clothes from their packs. Kai had been right about the clothing of her father and her brother. Duncan was broader in the shoulders like Fergus, but the same height as her father. Had been, her father had been, the same height as Duncan, she had to keep reminding herself. So Duncan dressed in her father’s pants and Fergus’s shirts. She didn’t know how hard it would be to see him in their clothes. Or how painful washing all the blood off would be, realizing she had mixed the blood of her loved ones with the blood of the scum sucking bottom dwellers that had killed them. Funny how it felt as though she could still feel Dairren’s blood on her feet and hands, and her father’s too, it would never come out, not even the blood of those she hadn’t touched like Oriana or Oren, or her mother. She was marked with it, branded with it.

 

Kai was grateful that she and Duncan had managed to bathe and change, as the inn was a clean and well run establishment. She wondered if they might have been asked to leave if they had come in sweaty, bloody, and in armor. The place, despite its name’s double-entendre, appeared to be more of the ‘wholesome’ type of abode, rather than say, a place like ‘The Pearl’ in Denerim. Like the Pearl, however, this inn seemed to cater to all whether--human, elven, or dwarven. With the proximity of Rainefere to the Frostback mountains there were quite a few dwarven merchants in the common room.

 

Kai and Argus waited while Duncan spoke to the barkeep, a tall beanstalk of a man with a thin mustache, receding hairline, and a square jaw, who nodded and went to the kitchens. He returned with a red faced, frizzy, brown haired slip of a woman with a sharp face and a sharp tongue, if the barkeep’s red face and scowl were anything to go by. Kai watched Duncan speak with her, even turning to point out Kai and her mabari. The inn keeper’s eyes flickered to the well behaving Argus for a brief moment before she held up two fingers and tilting her head in their direction. Kai also watched as Duncan spoke for a brief moment more and the woman waved her hands in the direction of Lake Calenhad, nodding. Duncan smiled, gave her a bow, and handed out two sovereigns and a few silver. She nodded to the barkeep who reached under the counter and placed two big black keys on the counter.

 

Duncan took the keys and returned. “Madam Prunella has assured us two adjoining rooms, hot baths; and both supper and a full breakfast tomorrow.” He nodded towards the stairs; she has also promised that our very wet clothes will be washed and ready by morning. And Argus is allowed to stay in the inn, for a small extra amount of coin of course.” He smiled at her. “I suggest we get changed into something dry, and eat our supper while they heat water and fill the tubs.”

 

Kai and Argus followed Duncan down the hallway to the end two rooms in the left side of ‘T’ intersection from the stairs. She noted that the rooms were in close proximity to the back stairs probably leading outside to the outdoor dining area and beer garden. Duncan was a clever man, putting them close to an exit for a quick and easy escape if needs be.

 

He handed her a heavy iron key with the number of the room engraved on it. The metal was smooth and worn, as if handled by many generations of hands. Kai took the proffered key and put it in the lock and turned it. She stepped inside with Argus and Duncan at her heels. The room was small but neat and clean. Duncan stepped over to the door on the left hand wall and turned the key and walked into the other bedroom.

 

Kai gratefully set down her packs and relieved Argus of his. Duncan smiled and closed the door after nodding toward the bags she had set down indicating she should change her clothes. Kai dug into her packs and pulled out a linen tunic and a doeskin leggings. She stripped out of her wet clothes and winced as they made a splat noise as they hit the wooden floor. As if in response a roll of thunder rumbled the walls of the inn, and she could hear the rain change from a soft pat-pat to a downpour so loud that a conversation would have been drowned out even if the two conversing stood directly in front of one another. She took a look around the room and was relieved to see that there were no leaks from the roof. The inn was solid and well built.

 

Kai didn’t know what to do with her wet clothes. She couldn’t hang them out the window and wring them out. And there was nothing to put the water into inside the room save the chamber pot. So, she pulled it out from under the bed and wrung the items out as best she could. She left the sodden clothes on the floor next to the bed. She opened the window and threw the water out of the chamber pot before placing it back under the bed.

 

With a pat on her leg and a soft whistle she called Argus to heel. She knocked on the door adjoining their rooms and Duncan’s voice called her to come in. When she opened the door it was to find him writing on parchment at the writing desk. He rose up, covered the letter with a clean piece of parchment, and rose to greet her smiling and offering her his arm. “Shall we?” Kai took his arm more out of training as a noble, than any real thought. She was so exhausted; her brain seemed encased in ice.

 

The common room was noisy and filled with folks from the town and the nearby docks staying out of the storm that raged outside, along with the inn’s paying guests. The air had a fine white mist of pipe smoke lingering over the heads of the patrons, and the room was bright and cheerful from firelight and the lanterns on the tables and hung around the room.

 

Duncan found them a table in the corner and Argus made himself comfortable in a heap between Kai's and Duncan's feet. An elven man with black hair dressed in black tunic and leggings with a white apron covering his front and balancing a tray on the tips of his fingers, came and gave them the inn’s dinner selections, all one of them. Duncan ordered three bowls of the stew, one for each of them, along with a tankard of the house ale and one of hard cider.

 

Once the servant had left to see to their food and drink, Kai and Duncan sat in silence. She could feel Duncan watching her, so she chose to sit and watch the shadows and light cast by the large fireplace at the other end of the common room.

 

“You know you couldn’t have saved them don’t you?” He said it so softly she almost missed it. Kai was rescued from answering by the hot bowl of stew and a mug of cider placed in front of her. Duncan sat the third bowl down on the floor under the table for Argus. The servant also placed a loaf of fresh warm bread and a cask of butter on the table before giving a smart little nod of his head and a jaunty wave and turning smartly on his heel.

 

She developed a sudden interest in shoveling food into her mouth hoping to encourage Duncan to do the same and keep any conversation at bay. The stew was thick with chicken and spices with chunks of apple and potato thrown in. The odors wafting up towards her face smelled heavenly, and tasted even better. It was quite good and she knew she wasn’t doing it justice wolfing it down like a half starved mabari the way she was.

 

She shot Duncan look out of the corner of her eye to see him watching her while eating slowly. Blast the man! He had been content to leave her be all this time now he felt the need to talk? She huffed silently to herself and continued to spoon stew into her mouth otherwise occupying her tongue. She watched his brown skinned hand grab the loaf on the table and break the end off and butter it. She flinched when he started speaking again. “They are dead, Kai, but you are alive. It is what they wanted, for you to live.”

 

She felt heat rising in her cheeks, along with a dark rage she hadn’t known was there. It bubbled up in black sticky ribbons of contempt, guilt, and disgust. All aimed at Howe, her dead beloveds, Duncan and mostly for herself, because a small part of her was grateful to have made it out of Highever alive. That nasty little voice, the voice of her own inner abyss, was laughing inside her head. “And what about you, you got what you wanted didn’t you, Duncan, blackmailing my father, into making me a Grey Warden!” Kai shoved her bowl away with a fury. “My father was supposed to be your friend! And yet you dangled my safety and that of my mother in front of him while his guts tangled between his fingers and he sat in a pool of his own blood!”

 

She stood up so fast her chair made a nasty scraping noise and the tables around theirs had ceased their conversations listening in or waiting to see if a fight was going to start. She suspected the barkeep of wondering that as well, as he watched them intently.

 

Duncan’s hand shot out and gripped her wrist gently. His eyes crimped in sadness which only fueled the fire in her belly. In a soft voice, while looking her in the eyes, he sighed and it was a sad sound. “My decision was not made lightly, and it was not without cost. But consider this well, Kaidana: the choices I made were for your benefit as well as your father's. You already wished to be a Grey Warden, against your father’s wishes. You told me so yourself. By having your father agree in front of you, I freed you from the guilt you would have felt for disobeying what you would have seen as his dying wish. Your father was no fool; he was a smart and courageous man, loyal to his king, his family, and his duty. I freed him as well, knowing that his other child would be safe. Your father and I were friends a long time. He knew I would have saved you regardless of his promise to let you be in the Grey. But I think he knew you best of all. He knew you would never have left if he had not made a promise to me, and made you promise him. Is that not so Kaidana? ”

 

“Then more the fool he, more the fool you, and more the fool me most of all!” Her anger was such that the stew in her belly was sitting there in a ball. She ripped her wrist from his grip snatched up the tankard with the cider and belted it back. It helped ease the clenching of her stomach and flushed her body with heat. She felt lighter. The feeling was better than what she had been experiencing. And the little nasty voice seemed to have forced into a whisper. “Give Argus the rest of my stew. I’m going to take a bath, get pissed faced, and pass out.” With that she turned her back on him and went to the barkeep standing at his counter. She untied the coin pouch tied at her waist and paid for two bottles of mead. She grabbed the alcohol and made her way to the stairs. The conversations had picked back up when there was no entertainment forthcoming from their argument.

 

She made her way up the stairs and back to her room where she found a servant putting the last of the hot water into a big copper tub. She locked the door between her room and Duncan’s and waited for the servant to finish with his buckets while she uncorked the mead and took a long swig. The servant poured in some bath salts. And set up a small table the height of the edge of the bathtub with the bath salts, a cake of soap, washcloth, and towels. The young man grinned again, bowed and closed the room behind him as he left the room.

 

Kai stripped down and brought the bottle with her. She sat in the tub soaking up the heat, and occasionally taking swigs of mead. Her limbs were tingling and she and she felt the most relaxed she had felt in what felt like an eternity. She stood up in the tub, swaying and putting her arms out to catch her balance. The water was lukewarm now so she decided to towel off and get into bed. That way she wouldn’t have far to fall when she passed out.

 

She dried herself off as best she could. But it seemed as if her limbs were loose and the towel missed parts of her. Still, she was dry enough to get into her shift she figured. She tilted the bottle only to realize that it was empty. The mead was gone, why was the mead gone? Kai swayed and almost stumbled on her way to get the other bottle. Oh yes, that was why! She snorted, then giggled, then the giggles turned into laughter. The laughter turned into guffaws, and deep belly laughs that caused tears to run down her cheeks. She started to drink from the empty bottle again, until she remembered as the glass hit her laughing lips. Dead solider, Kai, this one is a dead soldier....dead, dead, dead, dead.

 

And just as quickly her laughter turned into an angry growl and then sobs as she threw the bottle against the hearth of the fireplace in her room. It shattered into a thousand pieces the glass shards catching the firelight, glittering as they arced out and showered down on the wooden floor and the stone fireplace. She stood there, listening to her gasping breaths, the steady patter of rainfall, and the crackle of the fire.

 

Sod it! Kai wiped the tears across her cheeks with the sleeve of her nightshirt. She stumbled over and tried as carefully as she could in her inebriated state to kneel down and begin cleaning up the mess she had made. She reached for one of the largest slivers first, a triangular piece of brown glass that glinted amber in the light of the fireplace. Kai started to place it in the palm of her left hand to hold it and place the smaller pieces in it, but she found herself grasping it in her right hand, watching the point glitter in the firelight...

 

“You do realize that is a really bad idea, right? And I really wish you wouldn’t. Not to mention the mess it would make on the floor. Think of that poor servant! He lugs all that bath water up and down the stairs and then you would make him clean up blood too? That doesn’t seem very fair.”

 

Kai startled awake, her head snapping up and her eyes opening wide. She had been asleep and dreaming. At least the voice wasn’t the nasty little dark one that had been haunting her waking hours. Nor was it any of the repertoire of the usual night haunts. This voice actually seemed friendly, and funny, and it made her feel better, though she had no idea why she deserved such a voice to counter the other.

 

She was hearing pounding on the door between the rooms along with deep woofs. And someone was calling her name. It took her a moment to realize where she was. She felt a pain in her forearm above the wrist and she looked down to see one deep cut, that went about half an inch and stopped where the glass shard was still embedded the flesh where her hand was holding it. There was blood from the small cut where it ended where the glass had stopped. The deeper puncture was not bleeding as much as the shard kept it from doing so. She knew it would bleed all over when she pulled the sliver out. And the hand grasping the glass was cut too and had bled down her arm and dripped onto her shift.  

 

The pounding was in earnest now, and Duncan was saying her name. She pulled the glass out and used the cloth of her nightshirt to staunch the blood from the puncture, as she stumbled to the door to unlock it and let him and Argus in. She mentally cursed herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid! If you really wanted to kill yourself you fool, you could have stuck a dagger in your own heart. It would certainly have been quicker, even drowning in the lake would have been better. Kai mentally chastised herself.

 

Duncan noticed her bleeding and gently lifted the cloth away from her arm. “The first cut is always deepest, isn’t it, young lady?” He put the cloth back down and clamped Kai’s hand back down on it while he turned back to his room. Kai heard him rummaging around and when he came back he had the box that held the health potions. She watched him lift the lid of the box and search out the vial that had been partially used right after their leaving Highever. He popped the cork out of it and held it up to her lips.

 

She felt the cool sensation that these health potions always had, making her feel as if she had swallowed snow, only to have it hit her stomach and the intense warming sensation would start in the wounds that needed to repair. She grimaced, they tasted bloody awful. She hated those things. Why could the mages never sodding figure out a way to make them taste good?

 

“That will leave a scar when it finally finishes healing. In the meantime get out of that shift, it is beyond saving I think, but it will make bandages.” With that Duncan sat her on the edge of the bed and ripped the clean hem of the shift up to her knees. Kai fought the urge to make innuendo about him ripping off her clothes, and that he only had to ask, but she refrained, barely. He took the strips of cloth and gently bandaged the wound on her wrist, the bleeding had slowed considerably. And then he wrapped the hand that had held the shard. When he was finished, he rummaged in her pack for a clean nightshirt and turned his back and waited while Kai got dressed once again.

 

Then they set about putting the room back in order. Duncan took the task of cleaning up the glass this time, which only heightened her embarrassment. He left with the glass shards. Really, Duncan wanted her to be a Grey Warden? HAH! Bet he was rethinking that now. Kai blushed at her own thoughts while she used the bathwater and a part of the torn shift to wipe up blood. The droplets were easy, but it was the puddle, small as it was triggered a dam burst. Her mind kept flashing on all the puddles of blood underneath all of those she loved. All that she had buried and shoved away rose up like tidal wave on the Waking Sea.

 

She heard someone sobbing in great gasping howls. She realized it was she, making those whimpering and mewling noises when Duncan had returned and picked her up like a child and placed her in bed, tucking her under the covers. Argus whined and jumped up to lay close to her on one side. Duncan returned with a candle which he set on the nightstand. He shut off all the lanterns, pulled off his boots and sat up against the headboard laying Kai’s head on his chest while wrapping his arms around her. He simply stroked her back and hair while she wet the shirt that smelled like Fergus with her tears.

 

 


	11. Cheese Mice & Bread Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai wakes from a strange dream that helps to heal her broken heart. She gets to plant a kiss on Duncan, sabotage one of Howe's men, and finds she and boats don't really get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )
> 
> I hope you continue to enjoy this. Sorry about the delay, real life kept getting in the way and delaying it.

“This is far more pleasant than what you were doing before, isn’t it?” That friendly voice that had chided her jokingly for cutting herself seemed to come from behind her. But when she would turn to try and see him, her ‘dream person’ as she thought of the voice, it was as if he stayed out of her line of vision, “See-ee, so many things to live for!” And Kai looked out at a table filled with... cheese? 

“I lose everyone I love and my brain comes up with cheese as an incentive to keep going? I must be going insane!” Kai pinched the bridge of her nose. Well this was better than the horrible nightmares she had been having. 

“Hey-y!” The voice sounded in mock hurt, “Cheese is the stuff of the Maker! I’ll have you know that Andraste herself was an avid cheese lover, and that it wasn’t her singing that impressed the Maker, really. It was her fine taste in cheese.”

Kai couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard she had to put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. “Well that certainly would have made going to services, and the Chant, far more interesting.” The voice gave a chuckle.

She stood up and walked over to the table and looked more closely. There were cheeses from all over Thedas. What really drew her eye was a bowl filled with cheese in the shape of mice. She grinned, “All we need for that is to have a cat made out of bread to chase the mice and I could then truly say that is one of the most bizarre dreams I have ever had.” 

No sooner had the words left her lips than a cat made out of bread leapt on the table and started stalking towards the bowl of cheddar mice, which had come to life, noses twitching, “I think this falls under ‘be careful what you wish for’, doesn’t it?” The voice started laughing harder as the cheese mice scattered when the bread cat knocked over the bowl which fell with a crash of breaking crockery...

And Kai found herself awake with the grey light from another overcast rainy day as it dimly lit the room. She found only Argus in bed with her. And she remembered with a start the cuts from last night and gave her arm and her hand an experimental wiggle under the bandages. 

Argus whined and licked her face, wagging his stumpy tail in a pat pat pat on the bed. She was swamped again with embarrassment at her own stupidity, “I am so sorry, boy! I promise, I am not going to leave you alone unless I have no choice. It’s just you and me, okay?” Argus gave an enthusiastic woof and his tail hit the bed faster in rat-a-tat-tat, and he started licking her face in earnest, “Ugh mabari breath! Doggy germs!” Kai laughed teasing him, and rubbed his belly as he lolled about on his back, big tongue stuck out in a dog’s grin. 

“I am glad to see you in better spirits young lady. And I hope you count me in on this little group. It is hardly just you and the dog.” Kai looked up to see Duncan leaning against the door rame, smiling. She noticed he looked a little damp and that he held her clothes from yesterday all dry and neatly pressed. 

She flushed, and looked away, the shame rushing back. She concentrated on looking at and rubbing Argus’s belly. She felt Duncan sit on the edge of the bed, and she bit her lower lip, what could she say? Sorry I was so stupid? That sounded about right, because it had been. But it seemed so inadequate. Now that she’d had a good night’s sleep, the first in what seemed like years, her actions appalled her. Her father would have been so disappointed in her, breaking her promise, shirking her duty. Couslands always do their duty. She could hear his voice, and it made tears start in her eyes, and she felt herself flushing again feeling guilt swamping her. 

“No, no child, don’t. I am partially to blame. I must confess I haven’t had a lot of experience with young women your age. We don’t get a lot of women in the Grey. I am afraid the impact of what happened had a greater effect on us both than I thought. I should have been less concerned with getting us away from Howe, and paid a little more attention to what was going on with you. I have a feeling we are both dealing with some of the same emotions.” He tilted her chin to make her look at him, brushing tears away, “Let’s just say this is a learning experience for both of us. Just promise me that you will talk to me, or one of the other Grey Wardens if you start to have troubles again. Especially sleeping, all right?” Kai nodded and he planted a quick kiss on her forehead. “Now I think we should get you dressed and go downstairs and eat. While you were getting much needed rest, I booked us passage on a ship leaving in about two hours time and restocked some of our supplies. So pack your bags as well. We can leave right after we break our fast to wait on the docks.” 

He smiled and walked through the door adjoining their rooms once more, closing it softly behind him. Kai swung her legs over the bed and stood gingerly, giving herself some time to get accustomed to standing. She grabbed the pile of clothing she had been wearing last night and got dressed quickly, and packed the neatly folded pile with her shift back into one of her packs. She pulled on her rather muddy boots, still damp from yesterday and grabbed all of the bags before knocking on the door to Duncan’s room. He bid her enter and she found he too had packed and had even made the bed. She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Old habits.” He shrugged and grinned, “I also purchased these while you slept.” And he produced two rain cloaks made of a canvas material coated in beeswax. They would help keep off most of the rain. He laid them on the bed and offered her his arm as he had the night before. This time she took it with a smile and they all left their sleeping quarters to make their way to the common room. 

Duncan chose a table in front of the fireplace this time. It was early still and the common room was mostly empty. The rain continued on outside the windows and the smells of breakfast wafted out from behind the bar in the direction of the kitchens. 

A blond elven woman with her hair pulled back into a bun with loose waves of hair framing her pretty face, took their orders this time. Again, the choice was breakfast, breakfast, or breakfast. The drink choices were more varied, if only slightly less so. Kai asked for apple juice (no cider, she had a bit of a headache from last night), and Duncan asked for the same. The food arrived and there was enough to feed an army. There was fried fish from the lake, porridge, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

Duncan spooned some pottage into bowls for all three of them and served up the fish, eggs, and bacon onto the plates. The oatmeal was swirled with spices, honey, and apples and it was deliciously warm and soothing. It made a nice juxtaposition with the saltiness of the fish, bacon, and eggs. Kai found it to be delicious and unlike the night before decided to take her time eating and savor it instead of wolfing it down. 

The elven servant came back to refill their mugs, and Kai asked for a small wheel of cheese and she slipped the girl payment and a few extra coins for a tip. Duncan raised his eyebrow at her, “You don’t have enough to eat?” 

Kai laughed, “I have plenty, but I have a craving for cheese. A weird dream I had, I think. It’s getting fuzzy but something to do with a table full of cheeses, including cheese mice and a cat made out of bread.” Kai shook her head and grinned, “I figured my body was trying to tell me something, maybe I need more cheese in my diet?” 

Duncan chuckled, “There must be some epidemic of cheese craving in Ferelden amongst young people these days.” Kai cocked an eyebrow inquisitively at him, “You’ll see.” And he laughed again.

They were both finishing their meal, the wheel of cheese was delivered, and the dishes were being cleared away when the inn door burst open on a heavy wind and the tempo of the rain entered the room with a half drowned man before he managed to turn and push the door shut. The herald on the shield strapped to his back had Kai’s heart beating faster and she flashed Duncan a look. The shield held the bear on a checkered field of yellow and white, the symbols of Howe’s heraldry. 

Duncan nodded at her and towards the stairs. They both got up slowly and casually, Kai gave Argus hand signals rather than drawing attention with a verbal command. Duncan walked around behind her and Kai overheard the man as she was reaching for the cheese, “The bloody bridge is out over River Dane the other side of the lake. I was forced to come back around this way by the blasted rains! I am trying to get to Ostagar my good man. Can you tell me if the roads are washed out this side of the lake?” Kai heard the chink of coins on the counter. Kai heard Basil the barkeep tell the man the roads were small rivers of water and mud, but not washed out completely that he had word on. The bridge over the river on this side still rose above the waters running below it. Kai had turned walking towards Duncan who waited at the foot of the stairs for her.

Kai heard the barkeep’s wife’s voice screech the man’s name just as she reached Duncan, “BAS-ILLL!” She saw out of the corner of her eye the soldier turn and start to look around the common room while the barkeep attended to his sharp tongued wife. Kai did the only thing she could think of...she grabbed Duncan’s bearded face in her hands and planted her lips on his hiding both their faces from view. She heard Duncan’s grunt of surprise as he was shoved up against the wall. 

She broke off enough to whisper, “Pretend you are enjoying it, put your arms around and when he turns back around to the bar, we make a break for it, yes?” Duncan nodded once slightly, and his arms wrapped around her one hand tangling in her hair. He pulled her closer, and his fingers danced in her curls. His beard was soft, and he was very, very good at the kissing thing. Kai almost forgot why they were engaging in a lip lock, but she managed to recall exactly why she was in his arms and opened her eyes to find his closed as well. She gave him an impish pinch on his backside which had his eyes flying open, and she chuckled, “You are on look out, remember?” She watched his dark green eyes flicker over her shoulder, then he nudged her shoulders indicating she should go up the stairs. 

Kai followed Argus and she heard Duncan’s deep voice mumble, “What I do for duty, really!” Kai looked back at him and laughed and walked to the end of the hallway. 

She unlocked the door to her bedroom stepping inside and closing it once Duncan had entered, “Dear Duncan, rethinking your choice to have me along already?” And she had to grin when his brown skin flushed a shade darker. A good night’s sleep really had helped, she couldn’t help but sniggle. 

“You, young lady, are entirely too brazen for your own good. And for the record no, I am not rethinking it. But I will say, the Grey Wardens may never be the same.” He chuckled as he helped her get Argus into his pack, and cover it with a piece of wax covered canvas to keep the rain off of it as much as possible. They strapped on their own bags, and then donned on the rain cloaks. 

Duncan unlocked the door to his room and looked out into the hallway before motioning Kai and Argus the coast was clear. She heard him place the keys to both rooms on the desk before he joined them in the hallway. He lead them down the stairs to the outside dining area now covered in the torrential downpour that had the tables and chair disappearing in a grayed view as rain pelted them and misted as rain drops became many smaller droplets on impacting their hard surfaces. The ground was slick and the mud squelched beneath the soles of her boots which were soaked through once again in a matter of seconds.

They were making their way around the corner of the inn and the side of the building closest to the stables, when Kai had an idea for what might delay Howe’s man even more. She pulled on Duncan’s arm and nodded to toward the building in question. Duncan raised an eyebrow and followed her. She noted that the stable boy was sound asleep in the hay of one of the stalls. She snuck past grabbing a hoof file, and the vice grips for removing horseshoes from the hooks on the wall while creeping down the length of the building looking for the only wet animal in the stalls. She spied some apples in bag along the way and grabbed one. She approached the animal, and she was relieved to see that, true to Howe’s cheap nature, his man was riding not a smart Ferelden Ceffyl, but a considerably less intelligent Orlesian Cheval. If it had been a ceffyl with the intelligence of a mabari, Kai would have had to forgo her plan. The animal would have been battle trained and never let her go near it.

She approached the animal slowly, speaking soothingly and noted that the horse had been unburdened of its saddle and had been rubbed down, implying the the gelding was at least somewhat friendly. She help up her hand flat, with the apple in it, and the cheval’s soft nose blew warm air on her wrist before its lips gently scooped up the fruit. Kai made her way the length of the horse, running her hand down its side so it would know where she was and not become startled. She ran her hand back again and continued running her hand down the wet shoulder, down the length of forearm of the leg past the knee, taking the file and filing the nail heads off of the shoe on one side. Gently running her hand once more down the leg and touching the fetlock, she coaxed the animal to bend it’s leg so she could access the hoof. Putting the hoof between her knees she use the vice grips to prise the shoe from the side of the hoof and gave it a twist, bending the metal, before releasing the hoof and letting the animal set it back down awkwardly on the ground. She tossed the nails into the pile of manure in the corner where the boy had been mucking out the stalls. 

Duncan who had been on look out appeared at her side, “The man is coming back this way, young lady. I hope it was worth it. I suggest we find somewhere to hide?” His face had a serious demeanor and his eyebrow was raised. Kai gave him her most impish grin and nodded to an empty stall further down and they all ducked into it closing the door just as Howe’s man came striding in bellowing for the stable boy. 

Kai heard the lad scrambling around in a rustle of dry hay. She heard the lad mumble his greetings and run to fetch the man’s horse, leading the cheval from its stall. She heard the messenger’s voice raised first in anger that the animal had its saddle removed, then in dismay over the shoe she supposed, though she could not hear his words precisely. She knew he would have to make a trip to the town’s blacksmith in the storm. She heard the the activity of a horse being saddled and then the man leaving after yelling at the lad, taking out his ire, before creatively cursing as he went once more into the rain. When Kai figured enough time had passed to put some distance between them, she opened the stall door and walked towards a very startled steward. She handed the the surprised servant the tools and flipped the lad a few coins from her belt pouch, “If the nasty gentleman should return from the smithy, we were never here.” Kai grinned and winked, and the boy’s eyes got wide and he smiled and nodded. 

She took a look around the door, saw the way was clear and lead Duncan and Argus into the continuing downpour. They made their way to the docks. The ship that Duncan had booked passage on bore the name “Storm Crow”, painted on its prow. The wood of the vessel was dark with rain and the gangplank was slick. Kai was more than happy to finally put boots to the planks of the deck. Duncan sought out the captain who had one of his sailors show them their quarters. The captain was anticipating that the storms would be in their favor putting the winds at their back. The trip normally a two to three day journey, should take no more than one or two. 

They got out of wet clothing, Duncan turning his back while she got dressed, as he had last night. She didn’t know whether to admire him for being such a gentleman or to be insulted that he didn’t peek. She suspected her mind was turning silly due to her strange spirit lifting dream, and the fact that she probably needed more sleep still. She started to laugh, and Duncan raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her head, “Sorry just my mind turning queerly. Nothing like before, trust me.” He nodded, though he flashed a quick look at her bandages, and she sat on the bunk opposite from him. 

She watched him pull out a deck of cards. She looked at him and he smiled and shrugged, “I found them in the desk at the inn. Care for a game of Wicked Grace?” Kai laughed and nodded, and watched fascinated as Duncan’s long fingers nimbly shuffled the cards and cut the deck. She knew she was in trouble when he dealt their hands with an experienced flair. They played a few rounds, their ante made of a passel of shells some other passenger had collected from the shores of Lake Calenhad and left behind in the cupboard attached to the wall of the room. 

Their game continued pleasantly enough, so much so that Kai actually thought she might win this round when the ship began to move, shifting under them as it pulled away from the dock. She actually felt fine until the boat hit the deeper waters of the lake, and the choppy waves caused by the storm rocked the boat from side to side. Kai felt her stomach going side to side, and then doing somersaults. The food she ate earlier sat in a ball in her stomach until she was forced to grab the chamber pot under the bed and heave into it. Sod it! At this rate she would starve to death. She hadn’t finished half a bowl of stew the night before, and now breakfast had come back up again. If she kept this up, she might blow away in a high wind. 

And Duncan, damn him, appeared unaffected by the swaying and bouncing of the bloody boat. She might have been upset if she had time in between rolling waves of nausea. As it was, each upward bump of the ship, followed by the sudden drop, kept Kai occupied enough as her stomach always seemed to be slow on returning to its position. She must have dozed off at one point, which certainly helped the nausea. When she woke it was to find Duncan reading by one of the lights inside the room lit by mage rune like the lanterns they had taken from Highever. 

He had covered her with a blanket and Argus lay next to her almost shoving her off the bunk while his legs twitched in doggy dreams. “Good evening young lady.” Duncan grinned at her, “Storm has passed, but luck is with us and the winds are still at our back. We made better time than even the Captain had anticipated. We are about to dock in Redcliffe only a little past midnight.” He closed a the book keeping a finger in between the pages to keep his place. 

Kai swung around to a sitting position, dragging the blanket and wrapping it around her. She did an internal assessment and realized that the sleep she had been missing out on had definitely been bad for her mental state. She hurt still, for her loss, but she supposed she always would. But it could be borne. And she would, she made a promise, and she intended to keep it. She looked up to see Duncan giving her a discerning look. She smiled and shook her head, “Just thinking about promises and pain. And...” She sighed and ran fingers through her long ebony curls, “Duty I suppose.” 

“Indeed. I have something for you young lady. I picked it up in town after booking passage on the ship and buying the rain cloaks.” Duncan rose and dug into his packs, until he came up with a leather bound journal which he handed to her, along with a pen of dwarven make. It held a cylinder of ink inside. Kai’s grandfather Malcolm had such pens in his study, again another dwarven technological fascination for him, and herself as a child, when her father had shown her how it worked. The enclosed inkwell, he told her allowed for travel without having a quill to sharpen or an ink bottle to cart around and leak. Most dwarves, her father had told her that long ago rainy day when she had crawled into his lap her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat while he worked, did not go topside. They had no geese to get quills from, unless they traded for them from surfacers. Instead of having to wait for such luxuries, they had come up with their own inventions to compensate. The memory hit her in the gut like a punch from a fist. She had to swallow hard, keeping her eyes from filling with the tears that threatened to spill over.

“I thought you might write down what your thoughts are, for when you don’t have, or don’t want to share with another. It can help, trust me.” Duncan smiled at her kindly.

She nodded at him with a small smile in return. She was startled by the slight bump and the soft grinding noise as the ship dropped anchor, with a loud splash as the two large metal ballasts hit the water securing the ship to the lake’s bottom, “We are staying the night on board, then we will be taken to shore at first light. From the dock at Redcliffe village we can make our way to the Imperial Highway. And from there we will make our way to the Hinterlands and then to the ruins of Ostagar on the edges of the Kocari Wilds. Now why don’t we both get some rest? We have a long walk tomorrow.” Duncan placed slip of paper in his book and rose from the bunk, “I am going to speak to the captain about tomorrow, I will return shortly.” And he left their cabin shutting the door softly behind him. 

Kai ran her fingers along the smooth leather cover of the book sitting in her lap. She looked at the journal and cracked it open, the binding making slight popping noises as it was bent open for the first time. She took the lid off the stylus and set the tip to the blank paper. She wasn’t sure what to write, and at first the empty white space just stared back at her. Then, her fingers moved the ink across the page and that was how Duncan found her. Kai looked up to find Duncan sitting and reading again. When had he come in? She realized she was so involved in writing that she hadn’t heard him return. She looked at what she had written, and decided that where she stopped was a good a place as any. She blew on the ink to dry it before closing the book and putting it and the pen in one of her packs. She walked over, kissed Duncan on the cheek, “Thank you.” She was pleased to see him smile, and he gently patted her arm. She crawled into bed, shoving Argus over as best she could, before wrapping the blanket around her and laying down as Duncan put out the mage light plunging the room into darkness. 

Kai felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as Duncan nudged her awake. She rubbed bleary eyes to see that he had donned on his armor once more and it showed bright silver in the light of the lantern, “Alright, young lady, time to rise. I think it best you put on your armor as well. We should be able to make good walking time. The rains have stopped for the time being, and we will be going to a battlefield.” He smiled, called to Argus to take the mabari on deck for a walk. 

Kai rose, peeled off her tunic and her leggings and put on her undershirt and buckled herself into her armor. It felt good to have it on again. She strapped on her daggers and the Cousland sword, grabbed their packs and her father’s shield, and made her way on deck to find Duncan and Argus looking over the railing towards the village of Redcliffe. Kai went and stood next to them setting packs and shield down upon the planks. Duncan stood talking to one of the sailors who stood near a rope ladder leading to a boat below. 

Kai put Argus into his pack and looked over the edge to see the boat tied to the side. There was no way Argus could jump into the boat below without hurting himself, and no one was capable of catching three hundred pounds of mabari muscle. Duncan and the deckhand must be discussing a way to lower the dog onto the boat so they could go ashore. The solution was a hoist and net sling used to transfer livestock from the ships down to the boats below. It took some coaxing from Kai, but Argus consented to laying down on the netting and the crew lowered him into the boat below where Duncan unfettered him from the sling as Kai climbed down to sit next to them. 

The middy from the Storm Crow began to row them across the water of Lake Calenhad, which had a fine mist hovering over its glass like surface. From where Kai was sitting she could see Duncan’s profile as he looked towards the dock in the distance. She rummaged in her pack and pulled out the journal and the pen and began to do a quick sketch of Duncan. Again, with the ponytail, and earring it struck her how much he looked like a Rivainni pirate. She had just finished when he turned and looked at her, cocking an eyebrow and smiling. She grinned and closed the book stowing it and the stylus safely away once more. She trailed her fingers on the surface of the icy water as they neared the dock. The wooden shanties of the village drawing closer. They passed by some houses on stilts out in the lake itself and then bumped into the dock, the boat making a scraping noise as it landed ashore. The sailor jumped out waded into the water and up the shore to pull the boat in, allowing Kai and Duncan and Argus to disembark on dry land. Duncan slipped the man a few coins and they all turned to face the next part of their journey.


	12. A Royal Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai and Duncan make their way across the Tevinter Highway to Ostagar, receiving a royal welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )
> 
> Of course I cannot go without saying to all of you, my readers, lurkers, and reviewers just how much you mean to me. As a writer, it is so wonderful to know that your work is appreciated and even enjoyed. You all make writing Kai’s journey just a hell of a lot of fun. My gratitude goes out to you all too.
> 
> Blessings!

Kai and Duncan left the sleepy hamlet of Redcliffe, heading out of the town proper by way of the muddy unpaved road of the village until they hit the cobblestone ramp leading to the ancient Imperial Highway built by the Tevinters when their empire had once stretched across Thedas so long ago. With only muddy footprints left behind them on the white granite surface, Duncan, Kai and Argus began the last leg of their journey towards Ostagar . 

The traffic on the raised road was sparse as they left Redcliffe and traveled the avenue as it paralleled the edge of Lake Calenhad. There weren’t many traveling the raised walkway until they reached the byroad leading into the Hinterlands and to the ruins of Ostagar. 

They camped on the highway, using the lanterns taken from Highever for light, eating the dried meat and fruit in their packs which required no heating. Duncan explained that when the Tevinter Imperium built and maintained the roads, there were way stations where travelers, for a price could purchase firewood, and other sundries while staying on the highway. The stations had long since crumbled to dust being made out of wood and plaster. The Tevinters still used such a system today in their now greatly diminished empire to the north. 

The trio spent their second night camping in companionable silence as Duncan read and Kai wrote in her journal, or lay back against Argus looking at the stars while they danced in a shimmering galaxy. It turned out that, Duncan was as addicted to the written word as much as she. He had not only bought her journal back in Watersedge, but several books as well. The one he had been reading on their journey he handed to her once he had finished. 

Kai looked at the embossed cover. Dragons: Their Nature and Their Habits. Laying back and using Argus as her pillow, she cracked the book open. When she awoke the next morning it was to find the book laying across her stomach where it had come to rest as she dozed off. After a breakfast of more jerked meat and dried fruit, Duncan ushered them under way once again. Their footsteps made a steady clomping sound on the stone echoing off the high, sloping arches that graced the boulevard. 

As they drew closer to the ruins of Ostagar the landscape became more mountainous and the traffic flow to and from their destination increased. Their fellow travelers consisted mostly the of heavily armed, and armored, men and women. Even some warriors with mabari traveled along the road seeking the same destination. 

The day wore on and what had been a distant hardly discernible set of building shaped silhouettes in the distance filled in and became solid buildings in the craggy landscape. When they had drawn close enough that Kai could see the copper green patina-ed domes shining in the sunlight, she knew it would be a matter of only a couple of hours and they would truly enter Ostagar. 

Duncan had called for a break to give Argus some water from their water skins, and to rest their feet for a moment. The cool wind whistled along the valleys kissing her cheeks. Kai took the opportunity to plait her long raven curls into one braid which she tied off with a leather cord. Taking her sharp dagger, she cut the long ravel of hair off just below her shoulders. The sudden lessening of the weight had her almost off balance, and the curls sprang into tighter silken coils. She took a moment to look at the braid in her hand. The symbolism was not lost on her. She cut her hair cut to make way for a new role, as Howe’s treachery had cut her off from her old life. 

She sheathed her dagger and looked towards her fate, lying in front of her. Kai cast one last look at the twisted locks of her hair and dropped the plait to the ground before she started walking without a backward glance. Duncan caught up soon enough and they walked in companionable silence until they came to the outskirts of Ostagar. 

Duncan’s deep and resonant voice broke the silence as they walked through the ruins towards the large wooden gate, “The Tevinter Imperium built Ostagar long ago to prevent the Wilders from invading the Northern lowlands. It’s fitting we make our stand here,even if we face a different foe within that forest. The King’s forces have clashed with the darkspawn several times. But here is where the bulk of the horde will show itself.” Duncan stopped and waved an arm encompassing the valley spread out before them. They continued on towards the gate, Duncan announced their presence and the gate opened to admit them. They passed through the over-sized portal past the guard who then shut it behind them. “There are only a few Grey Wardens within Ferelden at the moment, but all of us are here. This Blight must be stopped here and now. If it spreads to the North Ferelden will fall.”

Anything else Duncan had meant to say was interrupted by a jovial voice, “Ho there Duncan!”

Duncan’s face registered surprise before he carefully composed it again. Kai was sure her own face registered the same shock at the figure now striding towards them in armor that glowed golden like the sun. He looked so much like Maric, it made her heart squeeze painfully. Prince, no king now, Cailan looked much as he had at eighteen when she had first met him in the garden oh so long ago; nor did he look much different than when they met at his father’s funeral not five years later. He had filled out more, the jaw, widened, the shoulders broadened. And that youthful, devil-may-care smile and boyish expression (which had only been replaced at the funeral with one of infinite sadness) was the very one she remembered him for. Thinking of that day in the garden at the palace threatened to take her mind to Dairren, and back again to the devastation of her world. Kai choked back her tears, sadness, and the anger that threatened to overwhelm her so unexpectedly. 

She balled her fists and took a deep breath and composed herself just in time to here Duncan’s reply, “Your Majesty, King Cailan, I didn’t expect...”

“A royal welcome? I was beginning to think you’d miss all the fun.” Cailan grasped Duncan’s forearm in a warrior’s salute. 

Kai watched Duncan’s face make a subtle grimace at the king’s words, “Not if I could help it your majesty.” Kai could hear the eye roll in Duncan’s voice, even if he didn’t actually do it. 

Cailan turned to look out at the valley below, “So, I will have the mighty Duncan at my side after all. Glorius!” Cailan’s face wore an almost childlike expression of wonder. Duncan stood beside him facing out to the future battleground below.

Kai understood Duncan’s desire to roll his eyes, but it was his response, and the exasperated tone (that Cailan seemed oblivious to) in which he said it, that made her want to burst into a fit of giggles, “So it would seem your Majesty.”

Cailan changed the topic in that lightening quick way he was known for. “I understand you found a promising new recruit. Is this she?” Cailan turned and walked back to face Kai. For a moment he stood looking at her with mild interest. She watched his sapphire colored eyes widen as he recognized her. 

She barely heard Duncan, she was so busy, trying to read the king’s expression. That, and he looked so much like Maric, who had been her childhood friend. It reminded her of one more lost loved one in her life. “Yes, your Majesty, allow me to introduce...”

Cailan cut him off, “No need, Duncan. You’re Bryce Cousland’s youngest are you not? I don’t believe we’ve ever actually met, or was it that we were never formally introduced, my lady?” He winked at her and gave her a saucy grin. 

“Yes, your Majesty, we were never formally introduced.” She couldn’t help but smile back, his grin so much like the one he gave her when they went to steal strawberries a lifetime ago. His next words stopped her smile and made her stomach feel as if broken glass had been poured into it.

“Your brother has already arrived with Highever’s men, but we are still awaiting your father.” She watched as the smile left his face as hers paled at his words 

He expression turned to shock then concern when Kai grabbed his arm in a death grip, “Fergus is alive?! Is he all right?!” Kai thought her legs would fold under her, so great was her relief when he nodded. At his confused expression she thought she ought to tell him, “You don’t know what has happened?”

“News from the North is unreliable. The rains have kept messengers by horse and by bird from reaching us. Information has been sporadic at best, and waylaid, or lost at worst.” Cailan took one of her hands in his covering it with the other, “My lady, what has happened?” 

Before she could try and explain, while somehow keeping herself from giving into the tears that threatened to fall, Duncan explained. “Teyrn Cousland and his wife are dead, your Majesty. Howe has shown himself the traitor.” Kai and Cailan looked at Duncan. Kai could hear the undercurrent of sadness, “He used his troops to take over Highever castle. Had we not escaped he would have killed us and told you any story he wished.”

Kai felt Cailan’s hand grasped hers convulsively. His normal tanned face grew grey at Duncan’s words and he dropped her hand to pace in agitation, “I...I can scarcely believe it!” He shook his head in disbelief, “How did he think he could get away with such treachery?” Cailan turned back to face Duncan and Kai walking to place himself before her, taking her hand as he had just a moment ago. “As soon as we are done here, I will turn my army north and bring Howe to justice. You have my word.” He leaned in close so his guards could not hear, “My lady, Kai, I am so very, very sorry. I will see justice done, I swear it I have not forgotten your father’s loyalty when my father died. And I have never forgotten the little imp who stole apples; or the budding young woman who wept the few sincere tears for my father at his funeral.” His lips brushed her cheek lightly before he stepped back.

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Kai flushed and looked down. 

She looked up when Cailan’s voice spoke in a normal tone again, “No doubt you wish to see your brother. Unfortunately, he and his men are scouting in the Wilds.” Cailan’s expression conveyed regret.

“When will he return?” Kai’s felt relief and disappoint collide with guilt. Part of her wanted the comfort of her brother; the solid, stable warmth of him, her best friend. And following closely on the heels of that desire, the image floating on the surface of the abyss, of her sister-in-law and her nephew covered in blood;and how their parents had looked in the last moments as she left them to run for the hidden exit. Would Fergus hate her, once she finally told him how she had failed to save them?

She felt Cailan’s hand squeeze her own, “Not until the battle is over I fear. And we can’t even send word.” He grasped her hand tighter, “Again, Kai, I am so sorry.”

She shook her head and cleared her throat, “I am not eager to tell him, your Majesty.” She gave the king a wan smile.

Cailan spoke in a conversational tone once more, “Of that I a have no doubt. But you will see him once the battle is over. I apologize but there is nothing I can do. All I can suggest is that you vent your grief against the darkspawn for the time being.” He increased the pressure on her hand briefly before lifting it to his lips and grazing her knuckles with his lips, his blue eyes looking into her own. 

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Her heart felt as if it was gripped in a giant fist. Cailan released her hand and stepped back turning, to address Duncan once more, “I’m sorry to cut this so short, but I should return to my tent. Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies.” 

“Your uncle sends his greetings and says to remind you that his Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week.” Cailan flashed a grin at Duncan, waving his hand dismissively.

“Ha! Eamon just wants in on the glory. We’ve won three battles against these monsters and this engagement should be no different.” He gave Kai a cheeky wink.

“I didn’t realize things were going so well.” Kai looked at Duncan trying to gauge his reaction to Cailan’s bold statements.

Cailan grinned wider, “I’m not even sure this is a true Blight. There are plenty of darkspawn on the field, but alas we see no sign of an archdemon.” Cailan turned and looked longingly at the valley with its wooden defenses below. 

“Disappointed, your Majesty?” Duncan cocked an eyebrow at Cailan’s back. 

“I’d hoped for a war like in the tales! A king riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god!” Cailan’s voice sounded to Kai’s ears very much like her nephew when he had played ‘imagine.’ He continued his voice becoming wistful, “Oh well, I suppose this will have to do.” He turned and smiled at Duncan. There was something behind that smile, it wasn’t all as jovial as it seemed on the surface to Kai. Cailan perhaps sensing her probing gaze, hurried on, “Now I had best get back to my tent before Loghain sends out a search party. Farewell, Grey Wardens.” Kai did a cross armed warrior’s bow, while Duncan executed a simple bend at the waist as Cailan turned and walked down the avenue of the ruins, his guards surrounding him.

Duncan turned to Kai and flashed her a rueful smile, while sweeping his arm and indicating they should walk in the direction the Cailan and his entourage had gone. “What the king said is true. They’ve won several battles against the darkspawn here.”

Kai gave him an impish grin, “Yet you don’t sound convinced. And quite frankly, Cailan is hiding something.”

Duncan stopped and gaped at her. “I should not be surprised I suppose, when you pick up on what others miss.” He chuckled and shook his head, “Despite the victories thus far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day.” Duncan looked off into the distance, his eyes crimping at the corners, “I won’t lie to you, not that to do so would do any good at any rate.” He grinned at her, “They look to outnumber us. I know there is an archdemon behind this. But I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling.” She heard him sigh.

“Why not? He seems to regard the Grey Wardens highly.” 

“Yet not enough to wait for reinforcements from the Grey Wardens in Orlais. He believes our legend alone makes him invulnerable.” Duncan nodded his head forward, indicating they should continue on. “Our Ferelden numbers are too few. We must do what we can and hope Teyrn Loghain’s men can make up for the rest.” Duncan stopped at the ramp leading to a long stone bridge where a large statue of a man in armor carved in marble stood, worn from years of rain and wind. Pennants flew, snapping in the breezed. “To that end we should proceed with the Joining ritual as soon as we have the preparations completed.”

Kai smiled, “What do you need me to do?”

“Feel free to explore the camp as you wish, gather herbs for healing potions like you did on our way to Rainesfere. We could use them for the coming battle. All I ask is that you not leave the ruins or camp for the time being.” He cocked an eyebrow at her and grinned when she wrinkled her nose at him and nodded in agreement, “There is another Grey Warden here by the name of Alistair. Seek him out as you explore. He is here somewhere, especially anywhere there might be cheese.” 

“Pardon, did you say cheese?” Kai laughed. 

“Yes, well, when you find him, tell him to round up the other recruits. Argus can stay with me while I attend to some Grey Warden business with my second Bernardo.” They both looked at the mabari who had barked his agreement to the arrangement. Duncan grinned at the hound and Argus’s tongue lolling in a doggy grin. He shook his head and looked at Kai, “The Grey Warden tent is on the other side of the bridge.” He pointed to the distant archway across the way, “You can find us there if you need us.” Duncan smiled warmly at her and reached out and gently gripped her upper arm, before releasing it and nodding to Argus. 

She watched them walk across the bridge together as she listened to the wind whistling between the mountain tops and through the valley, the snapping of the flags, the distant calls of the guards. For a place of war, it was surprisingly...peaceful. Kai looked around slowly taking in the crumbling stone ruins, the sparse tufts of grasses blew in the breeze. She looked back the way they had come, towards the gate, and the guard that stood there.


	13. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Wynne, Daveth, and finally we get to meet Ali finally! HUZZAH! : ) I know you all have been dying to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up! : )

Kai looked back the way they had come, towards the gate, and the guard that stood there. To her left stood a tall tower, with flying buttresses layering the outside of it like wings. She began to walk in that direction, curious that a building could reach such heights, and to wonder at the architects who created it. She walked up the stone ramp leading to it, only to find a guard standing in front of a closed gate, barring the way. As she drew closer the guard called out to her, “The Tower of Ishal is off-limits, my lady. The men stationed inside are securing it now.”

Kai smiled, “This is a pretty large ruin.”

“It goes back to the time of the Tevinter Imperium. Dwarven make. Probably why it’s still standing.” He grinned back at her. 

“What is the The Tower of Ishal? And why is it off-limits exactly?” Kai looked at the stone structure, up close it was even taller and more impressive looking. She had to crane her neck to look up towards the top.

“I think they used it once to watch for Wilders coming out of the forest.” He turned and looked up with her, “As to why it’s off-limits, well that would be by order of Teyrn Loghain. It is to be used in the battle. I’m told they discovered some lower chambers and they don’t know how far down they go. So for now, every-one's to stay out.”

Kai looked back at the man, “Lower chambers?” Could the tower actually extend down into the earth as well as reaching into the clouds? She could only shake her head in wonder at the thought.

“I didn’t see anything like that when I was there, but who knows?” The guard shrugged.

“Thank you for the information on the tower. Hail and well met.” Kai smiled and gave the man a cross armed bow which he returned.

“Hail and well met, my lady.” Kai turned to noticed an open circular space that looked out to the great expanse of the valley below. She walked out to the sturdy stone area and stood looking down as the wind whipped her hair around her face. She could see the expanse of forest, and the wooden scaffolding built below. The profound silence was broken by the whispering wind and the sound of crumbling stone. This ruin was not going silently into that good night, as the saying went. It was slipping away one pebble at a time. 

Kai made a mental note to watch how close to the edge she went lest her foot slip on loose gravel and send her tumbling into the void. She backed away slowly and scanned the grasses and under the trees for herbs for poultices and potions, while making her way back to the bridge to go across to camp. She stopped once more to look over the balustrade and peer down into the valley and the wooden dais once more. 

As she made her way up the ramp and towards the entrance, she noticed a guard and he seemed to recognize her, “Hail! You must be the new Grey Warden recruit Duncan brought from Highever. He told me to keep an eye out for you and direct you if you had any questions.” The man smiled, “He must think highly of you, my lady.” He swept his hand to encompass the ruins. “This place hasn’t seen such bustle in centuries I’ll wager. How can I be of assistance?” 

“Actually, I am looking for another Grey Warden by the name of Alistair.” From her close proximity to the camp Kai could hear more people shouting back and forth, the tanging ring of a blacksmith’s hammer, the barking of dogs from the royal kennels. She could smell the evidence of same on the wind as it blew through the doorway before her. 

The guard grinned at her and pointed behind him, “Try heading north, my lady, I think he was sent with a message to the mages. He told me to watch for Duncan and his new recruit. He has been...eager for you both to arrive.” 

“Eager? You make him sound like a mabari puppy.” Kai couldn’t help but sniggle a bit.

The guard chuckled as well, “He is friendly, especially if you have cheese of any sort. Lad, talked me out of half my cheese sandwich.”

Kai burst out laughing. “So that was what Duncan meant when I bought that wheel of cheddar.” 

“Pardon?” 

Kai shook her head chuckling, “Nothing, my good man, I have been fairly warned.” She grinned and waved farewell and walked up the ramp and to her right around the doorway, intending to head in the direction the guard had pointed her in. 

As she turned the corner through the doorway Kai found two templars giving her “the eye”, as she called it. She hardly knew how mages could stand to live with that kind of unwarranted scrutiny all the time. She hated it for the brief moment that she was made to bear it. They continued to glare at her as she walked past. She cocked an eyebrow at them and resisted the urge to make a two fingered gesture as she sauntered away.

Kai wended her way past some tents on her right, and as she drew closer to a wooden dais on her left she stopped to hear a young priestess of the chantry giving a sermon. Kai felt her eyes narrowing upon hearing the woman going on about death and the Maker’s “Plan.” Her fists clenched, but before she could make a cynical comment a voice behind her drew her attention away from the sermon. 

“Greetings, young lady, you are Duncan’s new recruit, are you not? He is a man not easily impressed, you should be proud.” Kai turned to find an older woman with gray hair pulled back into a ponytail wearing mage robes. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wynne, one of the mages summoned by the king.”

Kai bowed slightly, “Pleased to meet you, I am Kai.”

“Well met, and good luck to you on the battlefield. To us all in fact.” Wynne gave a her a small smile.

Kai found it fascinating. She had heard of mages using spells in battles, but had never seen such. The only magic users she had ever encountered had been healers who worked for Highever castle, taking care of any sick or injured in the castle or the town. “Will you and the other mages be fighting beside the king?”

Wynne gave a small laugh, “Not precisely, the Grey Wardens will be on the front lines, not the mages.” 

“King Cailan thinks the battle will go well.” Kai looked back over at the priestess still giving her sermon. 

“The king must always seem confident. His behavior affects the troops’ morale. He does seem to find his enthusiasm easily though. Reminds me of a puppy, and I say that with both respect and affection. He is a fine man.” Kai watched as the mage stopped to stir the boiling contents of the large cauldron beside her. From the scent of the steam as it wafted towards her, Kai figured it must be healing potion. She handed Wynne the herbs she had gathered over to the older woman, who smiled and nodded, “To defeat the darkspawn, we must all work together. It’s not an idea everyone seems able to grasp.” The elder mage turned back to Kai and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Have you faced darkspawn before?” Kai had to wonder just what kind of spells this woman might be capable of casting. She looked like she could be someone’s sweet little grandmother. Right down to the lecturing tone of voice.

“Stragglers, yes-- not the vast horde the soldiers speak of. I wonder...how much do you know of the connection between darkspawn and the Fade, young woman?”

Kai grinned, lecture time. She sobered immediately as the sudden memory of Aldous lying in the library at Highever with his his head caved in swam into her view. “I know the Fade is where we go when we dream.”

“True, anytime our spirits leave our earthly bodies, whether it’s to dream or to die, it goes into a realm we call the Fade. The Fade is home to many spirits, some benevolent, others less so. At the heart of the Dream part of the Fade lies the Black City.”

“Yeah, I heard our priestess, Mother Mollol, speak of it. I am afraid, however, that I listened with half an ear, if I listened at all.” Kai gave Wynne an impish smile and she received a chuckle in response.

Wynne shook her head and continued, “Some say the Black City was once the seat of the Maker. But when mages from Tevinter Imperium found a way into the city, it was tainted with their sin.” The mage rocked back on her heals, “That taint transformed those men, turning them into twisted reflections of their own hearts. And the Maker cast them back to the earth, where they became the first darkspawn.” Wynne crossed her arms over her chest, “At least that is what the Chant of Light says.”

Kai snorted. “The Chantry and its Chant of Light says a lot of things, but explains very little. My personal favorite is their old stand-by, ‘It’s the Maker’s Plan.’ The Chantry uses it for everything from boils on arses to explaining the wholesale slaughter of families, including innocent six year old boys.” Her voice pitched higher with a sarcastic tone, “What, all of your beloveds were slaughtered in front of you? Don’t worry! It’s the Maker’s Plan!” Kai’s voice lowered to a growl as she tossed an angry look over her shoulder at the still prattling priestess behind her. When she turned back it was to find Wynne staring at her, eyebrow raised. “Sorry, don’t mind me.”

The mage shook her head, “Yes, well, it may be just allegory meant to teach us that our evil causes human suffering. Or it may be true. It is as good an explanation as any, for now.”

Kai refrained from rolling her eyes, barely, “At least it is something to ponder.” Along with navel lint and eye boogers. 

Wynne’s voice cooled, as if she knew what Kai had been thinking, “Yes, occasionally it’s wise to contemplate one’s actions. But I am sure that Duncan has more for you to do than stand here chatting with me.” The older woman cocked an eyebrow once more and crossed her arms. “Thank you for the herbs, young lady.”

Kai grinned and bowed, taking herself around to the right past the large cauldron, stopping briefly to speak to a mage, who was not a mage, but a “Tranquil.” That whole conversation, as well as the practice to make the man such, disturbed Kai greatly. So much so, that she was distracted by her thoughts and she found herself walking up a ramp in the wrong direction., heading west instead of north. 

She turned back and on adjusting her course overheard a conversation between a handsome younger man and one of the female soldiers. He was apparently chatting the girl up as he said something about grabbing the moment as said woman’s “pretty” head could be decorating a darkspawn’s pike on the morrow. That line caused Kai to stop and watch the soldier’s response. If she had anyone to wager with, she would have bet that come-on would garner a slap. She borrowed Wynne’s look and stood grinning with her arms crossed and an eyebrow cocked. She would have lost money, as the blond simply glared at the man, who said, “Am I to take that silent glare as a no? Well then.” 

Kai burst out laughing as the pretty girl stuck her nose up in the air and stalked past her up the ramp, “I am afraid, my friend, referencing a pike where one’s severed head might rest, is not the ‘pike’ she would have been interested in. Better luck next time.” 

“I don’t supposed you would be interested in that particular pike, after all, we could all die in the coming battle.” The man came and stood in front of her giving her a charming grin. His amber colored eyes a contrast to his dark hair. He was very handsome, and he knew it. 

Kai snorted, “Save your charm, ser, I am even less impressionable than your previous target.”

“You can’t blame a chap for trying now can you?” He grinned at her, “Wait, I know who you are!” Kai watched his eyes get wide in surprise, “Well, you’re not what I thought you’d be.”

Kai laughed, “You have me at the disadvantage. Who are you, and in what way am I not what you expected? Were you expecting a mabari?”

“A mabari might not have been as surprising. I didn’t expect Duncan’s recruit to be a woman.” His grin got wider, “Not that I object in any way, you understand.”

“Uh huh, I understand perfectly. You are an intense admirer of the female form.” Kai rolled her eyes.

“Guilty as charged. The name’s Daveth. It’s about bloody time you came along. I was beginning to think they cooked this ritual up for our benefit.” He looked at Kai with a frown on his face.

Kai huffed, “Isn’t that a little paranoid?”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Daveth grinned at her

“What do you know about this ritual?” Kai had to admit she was curious, if pressed.

Daveth’s smile turned sheepish, “I happened to be sneaking around camp last night, see...” Kai chuckled. Ah another rogue like herself, she mused silently. “And I heard a couple of Grey Wardens talking. So I listened in for a bit.” Kai raised her eyebrows at him and watched a delightful blush creep up his neck, “I’m thinking they mean to send us into the Wilds.”

Kai shrugged, “So what? That wouldn’t frighten me.”

Daveth’s amber eyes got wide, “Cannibals, beasts, witches, and now darkspawn? What isn’t there to be scared of?” He shivered visibly, “It’s all too secretive for me. Makes my nose twitch.” He shrugged his own shoulders, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Like we have a choice.”

“So, you aren’t here of your own volition then?” Kai tilted her head slightly, assessing the man in front of her more closely.

“Nah, I was born near the Wilds, that’s why I know so much about them. I ran away from me da, who had a heavy hand and a short temper, as soon as I was able. I lived in Denerim, a pickpocket, that’s me. I snatched Duncan’s money pouch. He caught me. He is quick for an old bugger. Faster than he looks. Chased me he did, would have caught me too, but the Denerim guards caught me first. They meant to stretch my neck but good, if not for that cheeky old bastard. He conscripted me right out from under them. I gave the guards the two fingered salute as we walked away.” Daveth laughed and Kai found herself joining him.

“I’ll watch your back if you watch mine.” Kai winked.

Daveth gave her a leering grin, “Oh, I’ll watch your back.” He chuckled low.

Kai laughed and waved a hand dismissively, “Just don’t get too distracted back there.”

Daveth chortled, “I’ll try to keep my wits about me.” He put out his arm to Kai and she grasped it in a warrior’s salute. “Anyway, I expect it’s time to get back to Duncan. That’s where I’ll be, if you need me for anything.”

Kai watched him walk to the south towards the large bonfire by the Warden side of camp. She shook her head and smiled to herself. Well, her fellow recruit was an interesting man, indeed. Kai turned and walked past the anvil and the Quartermaster to travel up the ramp, following the direction the guard had pointed her in. She found herself in a ‘T’ intersection. To her left a long table with maps fluttering in the breeze. To her right another ramp leading to another open area surrounded by columns. 

As she saw only two elven servants working around the table and no one else, so she decided to go right, to the open atrium. She walked up the ramp listening to the sounds from camp mixing with wind winding its way through the granite pillars. She came to the rise as the ramp met with the level granite tiled courtyard. Two men stood before her, one in armor and the other in mage’s robes, the breeze carried their voices in her direction. 

“What is it now? Haven’t the Grey Wardens asked enough of the Circle?” The sour faced man in the mage robes sounded as if he had been chewing lemons dipped in salt. 

“I simply came to deliver a message from the revered mother, ser mage.” Kai watched the younger man dressed in armor who must be Alistair. His honey brown hair held glints from the sun that was creeping it higher above the horizon. He wore split mail armor and was handsome in a goofy sort of way. And she couldn’t help but feel that his voice sounded familiar. He continued addressing his less than friendly companion. “She desires your presence.”

“What her Reverence ‘desires’ is of no concern to me! I am busy helping the Grey Wardens--by the king’s orders, I might add.” The mage’s voice started to rise an octave. If she had been asked, Kai would have sided with the sour fellow on this. The Revered Mother, the old bat, could take a long walk off of a short pier into Lake Calenhad and the world would be a better place as far as Kai was concerned. 

Kai put her arms over her chest and crossed her ankles as she leaned against the arch frame, making herself comfortable to watch the entertainment. Alistair continued, “Should I have asked her to write a note?” Kai snorted loud enough causing both men to glance in her direction. The mage frowned harder before turning back to the Grey Warden. 

“Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!” The mage was practically jumping out of his boots in his snit.

“Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message.” Kai chuckled, the mage turned and glared, his face turning an interesting shade of red.

He turned his gorgon’s look on Alistair, “Your glibness does you no credit.” 

“And here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even thinking of naming one of my children after you...” Alistair leaned in towards the mage with a lopsided grin on his face, cocking an eyebrow, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “The grumpy one.”

Kai thought she would break a rib laughing so hard. Her amusement did not endear her to the mage at all, his voice rose as he screamed at them both. “Enough!” His face was almost purple in his rage, “I will speak to the woman if I must!” And with that he turned sharply and stalked towards Kai. “Get out of my way, fool!” His shoulder bumped her own as he strode past. 

“Oi!” Kai turned to face the mage as he spun around half way down the ramp. “You can just go get happy in the same robes you got sad in, now can’t you?” She smiled sweetly at him. He huffed, and waved his hands dismissively, his robes making a rustling noise as he turned and stalked away. Kai stuck her tongue out at his retreating back. 

She turned back to see Alistair watching her with a big grin on his face. By his reaction, she could tell he must have heard her comment. “You know one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.” 

His grin was lopsided and infectious, “I know exactly what you mean.” Kai felt her own lips curving at the corners.

He laughed, a lovely rumbling chuckle that reminded her of her father, “It’s like a party, we could all stand in a circle and hold hands.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh too. “That would give the darkspawn something to think about.” 

The grin left to be replaced by a quizzical look, “Wait, we haven’t met, have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?” 

She snickered, “Would that make your day worse?”

“Hardly. I just like to know my chances of being turned into a toad at any given moment.” She found herself watching his lips pulled into that lopsided smile that and she felt herself being drawn to it. 

She chuckled again, “You are a very strange man.” 

He grinned wider, “You are not the first woman to tell me that.” 

Kai burst out laughing, “Somehow, that does not surprise me at all.” She was happy to hear his own laughter echo in a ring off the columns. 

“Wait, I do know who you are. You’re Duncan’s new recruit, from Highever.” The sunlight caught the tips of his amber gold hair as he ducked his head, his amber brown eyes scrutinizing her. “I should have recognized you right away. I apologize.”

Kai shrugged him off, “How would you recognize me?”

He gave an impish smile she didn’t understand, as if he was in on some joke only he knew. “Duncan sent word.” Then his grin turned genuine, “He spoke quite highly of you. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alistair, the newest Grey Warden, though I guess you knew that. As the junior member of the order, I’ll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining.” 

Kai reached out and grasped his arm in a warrior’s grasp. She felt the muscles of his forearm under her fingertips. A jolt of electricity seemed to shoot through her hand. She also had this niggling feeling in the back of her head that his voice sounded familiar, but that couldn’t possibly be right. She knew they had never met until now. 

She was surprised to see his slightly dazed expression, as if he too felt the same sensation. She stammered and flushed, “Pl..pleased to meet you. My name is Kai.”

She watched his own skin turn pink, “Right, that was the name.” He cleared his throat as if he was casting about for something else to say. “You know...it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

Kai grinned, “Because we are too smart for you?”

Alistair chuckled, “Probably, but what does that make you?”

Kai wrinkled her nose, “Incredibly unlucky?”

Alistair’s chuckle turned into a guffaw, “Ouch!”

She cocked her eyebrow and pitched her voice in a teasing tone, “So, you want more women in the Wardens, do you?”

He smirked, “Would that be so terrible?” The grin disappeared as Kai raised both eyebrows at him, pretending to be insulted. She watched him raise both hands in supplication, “Wait, not that I’m some drooling lecher or anything.” He was blushing adorably and she could barely keep a straight face.“Please stop looking at me like that.” His blush deepened and Kai took pity on him, allowing the mirth she had bottled up to burst forth in ringing peals of laughter. 

She was laughing so hard she had to put her hands on her knees and gasp for breath. Maker, how she had needed that. When she finally collected herself enough to straighten back up while wiping the tears from her eyes, she found him still blushing furiously but he was grinning from ear to ear, “So, I’m curious. Have you ever encountered darkspawn before?’

Kai shook her head, “No, I can’t say that I have.”

She watched him furrow his brow, his face becoming more grim, “When I fought my first one, I wasn’t prepared for how monstrous it was. I can’t say I’m looking forward to encountering another.” He shook his head and smiled that lopsided smile once more, “Anyhow, whenever you’re ready we can continue exploring camp, I can show you around. I need to find the other recruits then we can head back to Duncan. I imagine he and Bernardo are making preparations for the Joining.” 

Kai nodded and they walked side by side down the ramp and into the warmth of the midday sun.


	14. Wanderings & Musings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So more Ali love. I have been so waiting to get him and having him and Kai get to know one another. I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )
> 
> Personal thanks to my betas ladyamesindy and mireliambar who help keep my writings straight. Please give their stories on AO3 a read, they are such talented ladies in their own rights.
> 
> And my personal, humble appreciation to all of you; my lurkers, my readers, my fans. I am in aw of you all everyday. I count you as part of my blessings. Thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> Blessings!

Kai walked along next to Alistair. He radiated heat and with his wide shoulders and broad chest he cut a strapping figure.That coupled with his exuberant personality made him seem to fill the space immediately surrounding them. Physically, she felt dwarfed by his presence, not even Fergus made her feel as small as the man beside her now did. And there was something familiar about him that tickled at the back of her mind. 

To distract herself she sought to continue their conversation. “That argument I saw...what was it about?”

He stopped and grinned at her, “With the mage? The Circle is here at the king’s request and the Chantry doesn’t like that one bit. They just love letting mages know how unwelcome they are.” He sighed heavily, “Which puts me in a bit of an awkward position. I was once a templar, you see.”

“You were a mage hunter?” Kai frowned.

He blushed, “Not that that’s all templars do, but yes. He looked down, “I’m sure the Revered Mother meant it as an insult--sending me as her messenger. And the mage picked right up on that.” She watched a pained expression cross Alistair’s face. “I never would have agreed to deliver it, but Duncan says we’re all to cooperate and get along.” A grin creased his features again, “Apparently, they didn’t get the same speech.” 

“I wonder if she’s as bad as her superior The Grand Cleric. The old witch, her ‘high-assedness’, as Fergus and I called her, once visited Highever. Notice I said once.” Kai grinned at him.

Alistair’s laugh made her heart beat faster, “Really so what happened?” 

“Well the Maker’s fish wife prattled on about the Chantry’s teachings and she didn’t like my asking questions, particularly when she couldn’t come up with any realistic answers. She finally turned red, threw up her hands and screamed at me that it was just the way it was. She left the next day and never visited again.” Kai chuckled, “Good riddance to bad rubbish as far as I was concerned. She holds no love for me I’m afraid.”

“Hah, she hates me! I had no choice about being a templar. I never wanted to be one, I was...” His blush deepened and he looked away, “I was miserable. Duncan rescued me, he...saved me, just in time. The Grand Cleric was not happy with his conscripting me. I thought she would arrest us both.” He looked at Kai once again, his eyes crimped at the corners, “The woman still scares me like she did when I was a child. I found myself agreeing to be her messenger boy, old habits die hard I’m afraid.” He gave her a sheepish grin and that charming blush of his creeping up his neck.

“Alistair, what about the other recruits? I met one, Daveth. Charming fellow, or at least he thinks he is at any rate.” Kai chuckled.

“Right, that cutpurse Duncan conscripted. Not sure what Duncan sees in him, to be honest.” Alistair rolled his eyes. That Daveth probably reminded Duncan of a younger version of himself, at least that is why Kai thought he might have recruited him, but she didn’t say so. “Ser Jory is the other recruit, he is here in camp somewhere. Keep an eye out, maybe we’ll see him. Or I can track him down later.” 

“I look forward to traveling with you.” Kai blushed, she hadn’t meant to just blurt that out. She felt like a blundering cow. The man was going to think her strange.

“You do? Huh. That’s a switch.” His blush matched her own, but he was grinning, “Lead on then.” He swept his hand forward and they continued walking. Kai stopped briefly at the Quartermaster to acquaint herself with what supplies the man had. After purchasing a few mabari biscuits for Argus, they turned right and walked the ramp that Kai had taken in error earlier. 

To her left were the Infirmary tents with wounded men lying on cots, their soft groans, and one man’s mumbled frightened cries were carried on the wind. Straight ahead she observed a Chantry priestess giving blessings to two men and a female knight. The woman in her armor looked familiar, Kai had seen her at the Landsmeet before, always near Loghain. Before she could figure it out, one of the soldiers came towards them.

Kai assessed the man as he drew near. His dark receding hair was cut close to his skull, he wore a goatee his upper lip bare. He had a prominent nose and a way of widening his small, rather beady, eyes when he spoke as if he was some small animal wary of noises. Her first impression was that the man was a bit of a squirrelly bastard. The man drew closer and Alistair whispered in her ear, “Ser Jory.”

Jory stopped in front of her with a slight nod to Alistair, and stuck out his arm to grasp Kai’s in a warrior’s grasp. “Greetings, you must be the third recruit we’ve heard about?”

“Hail, and well met, I am Kai.” She noted that his grasp was a bit enthusiastic.

“Ser Jory is my name. I hail from Redcliffe, where I served as a knight under command of Arl Eamon.” He squinted at Kai, “I was not aware that they permitted women to join the Grey Wardens. None of those I’ve seen thus far have been.”

Kai grinned, “Maybe they saved the best for last.”

Her joke apparently went over Ser Jory’s head, he was, Kai thought to herself as sharp as a marble. “You obviously impressed Duncan, and that is enough for me.” He continued on, “I hope we’re both lucky enough to eventually join the Wardens. Is it not thrilling to be given that chance?” 

Kai tried again, just in case he had been preoccupied with her being female, and missed her previous attempt at a jest, “Aren’t you nervous about fighting darkspawn?” She grinned raising an eyebrow. She struggled to hold in her mirth when her attempt at levity was missed by Jory once again.

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t . As a boy my mother told us darkspawn hunted down all children who misbehaved.” His vague look turned almost vacant, “It is a foolish superstition I know, but I still shiver when I think of fighting them.” He shook his head, “Tell me, has anyone told you what this Joining ritual entails?”

Kai wanted to giggle at Jory’s childhood superstition, but she refrained, stopping herself by biting the inside of her cheek, “Daveth said we might be going into the Wilds.”

Jory’s eyes widened once more, “I have never heard of such a ritual. I had no idea there were more tests after getting recruited.” Ser Jory let out an exasperated sigh, “I suppose since you are here, I’d best get back to our camp. I’ll see you there.” He walked away from them without a backwards glance.

Kai grinned at Alistair, “Not the sharpest nail in the horseshoe, and a bit on the squirrelly side, isn’t he?”

Alistair chuckled, but before he could make a comment the priestess who had been giving the sermon broke in, “Ah! I suspect you are one of the new Grey Wardens. Will you accept the Maker’s blessing?”

Kai searched for her most diplomatic tone of voice, “No, I’d prefer not to.”

The priestess’ eyes grew hard and her lips formed a thin line, “Then begone heathen!” She made a dismissive gesture with her hand at Kai, “That the Grey Wardens accept the likes of you is forever their greatest weakness.”

Kai’s face flushed with anger and she balled her fists, “That the Chantry accepts the likes of you is forever their greatest weakness. And to take myself away from one of the Maker’s narrow minded strumpets is a pleasure indeed.”

Alistair grasped Kai’s upper arm and walked her off to the side. He was probably worried she was going to plant a fist in the priestess’s face. What he said next confirmed it, “What, in the Maker’s name, are you doing? Did you miss the part where I said Duncan asked us all to get along?”

Kai paced in front of him, clenching and unclenching her fists. She stopped in front of him, her breath coming out in an angry huff, “I don’t get along with the Maker’s harlots who think they are better than everyone else. I wasn’t rude; I didn’t give her the two fingered salute when she asked me if I would accept the Maker’s blessing. I turned her down politely, if you’ll remember.” Kai took a deep breath and pitched her voice lower, “Did I deserve to be called a heathen, and did she have the right to insult the Grey? The very Grey Wardens, I might add, who are here to save the likes of that trumped up biddy from getting eaten!” 

Alistair blushed and shook his head before breaking out into a grin, “Don’t be ridiculous, no darkspawn would eat her, they might get sick.”

Kai could only stare at him as her anger ebbed away like water out of a broken pot. The laughter, when it came, burst out unexpectedly catching her by surprise. He led her to a bench and had her sit down before she fell down laughing. 

As the laughter died down she found herself looking at Alistair; appraising him as well as her reaction to him. This man could make her laugh, no matter how bad things were. Only two men in her life were able to do that, one was dead, and the other out in the Wilds on patrol. “Tell me a little about yourself.” She flushed, it had just burst from her lips as if her mind had no filter for her mouth.

Alistair gave her a lopsided grin and looked at his lap before answering, “As I said, I was trained as a templar before Duncan recruited me about six months ago. The Chantry raised me and becoming a templar was a decision made for me a long time ago.” His eyes crimped and he grimaced. The memory obviously pained him. Kai put a hand on his armored forearm in comfort, and he gave her a small smile. “Duncan saw I wasn’t happy, and figured my training against mages could double for fighting darkspawn. Now here I stand a proud Grey Warden, or sit rather.”

She chuckled, “You speak fondly of Duncan.”

His features softened with a look of affection, “I spent years in that chantry, hopelessly resigned to my fate. Duncan was the first person who cared what I wanted. He risked a lot of trouble with the Grand Cleric to help me.”

“You didn’t want to join the Chantry then? Not that I blame you. I personally, would rather set myself on fire.” Kai grinned at him.

Alistair looked sheepish, “It just...wasn’t for me. I believe in the Maker well enough, but I never wanted to devote my life to the Chantry.”

Kai found her hand had come to rest on top of his without her realizing it had done so. She blushed and hurriedly removed it. She cast about for something to say, “Alistair, may I ask you about some things?”

“Sure, what about?” 

“Tell me about Duncan. He was a friend of my...,” Kai gulped, “of my parents, a good friend apparently. But I didn’t discover that until recently. I...I didn’t have the chance to ask them about him.” Kai looked to lap where she had unconsciously balled her hands into fists. With effort she uncurled her fingers and straightened them out resting them on her leather clad thighs. 

If Alistair had noticed her distress, he chose to let it pass. “Duncan is the leader of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden...which he would say doesn’t mean much, as there aren’t many of us here. Yet.” He grinned, “Beyond that he is a good man. A good judge of character, even with his choice of the cutpurse. I owe him a lot. What about you? What do you think of him?” His look became almost puppy dog hopeful.

“I think he is a kind and honorable man. My parents...my parents thought highly of him. He was their friend, as I said, a closer one than I had thought. But more than that, I owe him as well. He saved me...twice.” Kai felt the shame of her foolish action well up causing her skin to flush. She absently rubbed the leather vambrace over the still healing cut beneath it. 

Alistair looked at her and put a hand on her shoulder in sympathy, though it was clear from his expression he had no idea what he was being sympathetic for. “That sounds familiar. He’s done the best he can with what little he has...and that includes me I guess.”

Kai found herself giggling despite herself. What was it about this man? He made her feel better with a few words of kindness or a joke, “Well, he certainly has his work cut out with me as well.” She gave him a rueful grin. 

“Speaking of Duncan, while we were on the Imperial Highway traveling here, he mentioned the Blight.” 

Alistair grinned, “Of course, I will try and fill in the gaps. So, do you want the Chantry’s version, or the truth?” 

“Well, after my run in with the chantry tramp, you can guess I prefer the truth. Especially since I have never been one for lies.” Kai wrinkled her nose.

“The truth is, we don’t really know. They come up from the ground and that is as far as we’ve gotten.” Alistair gave her a sheepish look, “They’ve controlled the Deep Roads ever since they defeated the dwarven kingdoms.”

“Is that why we don’t kill them when they’re underground?” Kai cocked an eyebrow.

Alistair nodded, “Even if we invaded the Deep Roads, we can only chase them so far.” 

“So the defeat of the dwarves, that was the first Blight?” 

“Yes, and it nearly wiped us all out, not just the dwarves. When defeated the darkspawn flee underground to seek out another old god to corrupt with the taint, thus bringing another Blight. Without leadership, finding and extracting on old god can take centuries.” Alistair grinned at her, “Which is why so much time can pass between Blights.”

“So what are the old gods? I read they were supposed to be dragons? Big and extremely intelligent, right?” Alistair looked impressed. Kai shrugged, “I’m addicted to the written word.”

“The Tevinter Empire had big statues of them. Each dragon had a name and a place in the cosmos...It’s all very intricate. The archdemons may or may not be the Old Gods, but they’re definitely dragons.” He smiled, “Now as to the Chantry’s version...” 

Kai cut him off with a derisive snort, “I know the Chantry’s fantastical version. In fact, I had a refresher from one of the mages I met while looking for you. It is a version I have heard all my life, and one that caused the Grand Cleric to flee Highever, in a snit to end all snits, when the old biddy couldn’t answer my questions about it.” 

Alistair burst into laughter, “I’ll bet. She hates to be challenged on any level. That’s probably why she hates me, and definitely why she hates Duncan.”

“Duncan is sure that this is a true Blight. So why are some people so skeptical?”

Alistair shrugged, “The Grey Wardens killed so many darkspawn by the end of the last Blight, people decided they were gone for good.”

Something struck Kai, “So where is the archdemon for this Bight?”

“We haven’t seen it yet. People are beginning to think this is just an unusually large darkspawn raid without an archdemon to unify them.” Alistair grimaced, “But seriously...the archdemon could be in the Wilds, or underground. It could be hiding. Just because it hasn’t shown itself doesn’t mean it isn’t out there.”

“So just how many darkspawn are out there for this archdemon to control? Duncan said that their numbers were increasing.”

Again he shrugged, “Thousands? Tens of thousands? They’ve had centuries to build up their numbers.”

Kai felt her stomach do a twirl at the possible numbers of the horde, “So, how does anyone even know about this Blight?”

Alistair’s face became guarded. “The Grey Wardens keep watch. We...feel the darkspawn when they come.” He looked down then back at her, “You’ll understand after the Joining, if you...well, you’ll understand.”

Ah, so that was why they were so secretive. Whatever this Joining entailed, it could mean death. She had suspected something of the sort from the little snatches of information Duncan had given up, as well as from what he hadn’t said. Well, she might wind up in the Fade with her family after all. “So, how exactly do the Grey Wardens defeat Blights?” 

Alistair grinned, his voice taking on a dramatic storyteller tone, “We cut off the snake’s head. It’s the only way. At least according to the books Duncan gave me to read and study from. According to those texts, the most famous Grey Warden leader, Garahel, killed the archdemon Andorhal in personal combat at the battle of Ayesleigh to end the last Blight. Without the archdemon to command them, the darkspawn fled back underground.”

“I was raised on stories of the Grey, and my...my father used to tell us those stories. He had the utmost admiration and respect for the Grey. What makes the Grey Wardens, like Garahel, so special?”

“This shouldn’t be hard for you to grasp since Duncan has sung your praises as a fighter. The Grey Wardens are warriors without equal. Darkspawn threatened to destroy the world four times over. Each time the Grey led mankind to victory. Nobody knows more about the darkspawn, and nobody’s better equipped to deal with them. You’ll see. Trust me.” His hand covered one of hers this time. 

It was his statement, as well as his touch, that had her blushing. She did trust him, without question, or hesitation, which had her puzzled. “So... they’re like knights?”

“I...don’t know if I’d go that far. Duncan says the Grey Wardens do whatever is necessary to protect mankind from darkspawn.” He frowned, “That means some pretty extreme things. And surely you’ve heard of Weisshaupt Fortress?” Kai nodded, one of the many books her great-great grandfather, or great grandfather, or grandfather, or her father had placed in the library had been about Weisshaupt and the aerie with the magnificent griffons that had lived there. “The great aerie carved into the white cliffs, far off in the Anderfels? That’s where the Grey once kept their griffons.” 

Kai nodded again. “What happened to the griffons?”

“They died out, and our numbers have dwindled ever since the last Blight. There’s only a handful left in Ferelden. And only a few more than that in other nations.” He sighed and they sat in companionable silence listening to the pine scented breeze as it blew through the ruins.

Kai turned back towards Alistair to see him looking into the distance as if in thought, but he turned back to her readily enough. “Where are our fellow Grey now?”

“Well we have our camp here, as you know, but the others are camped with the King’s soldiers in the valley. The King’s given us a position of honor at the vanguard, despite our small numbers.” Kai watched as Alistair rolled his eyes, “I think Cailan is actually excited to ride into battle with us. Maybe he thinks that’s what his father would have done? Dunno.”

“So what about the upcoming battle? Duncan mentioned the others had gone well, but seemed more worried about this battle. He said the numbers were building this time. How will we handle that if there are so few of the Grey?”

Alistair sighed, “I’ll tell you, it’s Teyrn Loghain we should be looking to win it, not the king. Cailan just wants his place in history. The teyrn is planning the strategy. “ He blushed, “Err, that’s my opinion, anyway. I guess I should be thankful the king favors us Wardens, but I know who’s keeping the lid on the pot.”

“Why are we having the battle here in this ancient ruin, of all places?”

“We’re at the edge of the Kocari Wilds, the eye of the Blight’s storm, right where the horde will be coming. Ostagar itself is an excellent defensive position. The Wilders were pushed back from here time and again in ancient days.” He swept his arm to encompass the ruins before them.

“How much will we be participating, as the newer Wardens?” Kai grinned at him.

“You know that is a good question. The other Grey Wardens are riding into the battle with the king, myself included. I don’t know if you or the other new recruits will be with us.”

“And our chances of success?” Kai lifted her eyebrow at him.

“I’m sure Teyrn Loghain has the battle planned to the last detail, as I said he has the lid to the pot. Still...no Blight has ever been defeated with so little cost.” He shrugged.

“And if we fail?” 

“If we don’t break the horde here, Duncan says it will spread until it engulfs all of Ferelden. Then it will take an alliance of nations to fight it.” Alistair sighed, “Which would be...bad. Neither the king nor the teyrn really seems to believe this is a real Blight, however.” He stood up and offered his hand to her to help her up. 

“When Duncan first came to our castle, my father...my father mentioned the Rite of Conscription? So they Grey Wardens have the right to recruit anyone?”

“King Maric, Cailan’s father, reaffirmed the power of the Grey Wardens were given during the Blights. In practice, we can’t conscript too often without hurting our cause. We were exiled from Ferelden once...best not let happen again.”

“You mean like recruiting men in crow’s cages?” Kai pointed to a pale, thin, man stripped down to his small clothes sitting behind iron bars swinging in the air a few feet away. The man was gesturing Kai over.

Kai started to walk towards the man. Alistair followed sputtering, “Exactly my point, we can’t...Kai, hey-y why does no one listen to me?”


	15. Crows Cages & Bouncing Bears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai learns more about darkspawn blood and the taint, despite Ali's best attempt not to give anything away. Is it any wonder he's terrible at Wicked Grace? As he and Kai wander the camp she wants to save a deserter with conscription to the Grey, almost attacks a guard, offends the Ash Warriors a smidge, and sees Howe's man leaving Loghain's tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And my blessings and love to my betas. They keep me sane, kick me in the ass when I start to falter and keep me straight. You all are the whipped cream on my sundae. Ladyamesindy, Night Hunter MGS, Violet Theirin, Piceron, and Jani; thank you all so much.
> 
> And my signature groveling and gratitude at the feet of you, my readers, reviewers, lurkers, and fans. I am always awed and humbled by you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your love, your patience and support. 
> 
> Blessings!

Kai made her way to the crow’s cage and the pale hand motioning her forward belonging to a scrawny half starved man. His gaunt face bore the shadow of whiskers from a lack of shaving. He had been in his prison for a while. 

“Heh...someone finally comes and talks to the lone prisoner. I don’t suppose you can sentence me or know someone who can?”

“You haven’t been sentenced?” Kai shot a look at Alistair who shrugged.

“No, they put someone like me in a cage until someone of importance has time to decide what to do with me. From the quality of your arms and armor, I had hoped you would be one such person. You are obviously a noble.”

Kai stepped closer to the cage, it made her heart hurt to think the man had been locked up and forgotten. What he said next made her angry. “I don’t suppose you have a bit of kindness in you? All I want is food and water. They haven’t fed me since I was locked up, and I’m starving.”

“That’s horrible! Why haven’t they fed you?” Kai clenched her fists. 

“I expect nobody thought of it with all the battles and such.” The man’s stomach took that moment to grumble loudly.

“So tell me why you’re in there.” Kai winked at him, “Was the cause just?” 

“Aww, that’s sweet of you dearest. How about you marry me instead? At least I could get a kiss before they hang me.” He chuckled at her.

“Who says you need to be married to kiss someone?” Kai grinned cheekily back, “Though I do like to know who I am kissing let alone speaking to. My name is Kai.” 

“Norval. I’m a deserter. Or so they think. I bet there’s no arguing them out of it, though--armies are funny that way.” He grimaced at her.

“Uh huh, and I bet you’re as innocent as sunrise.” Kai laughed.

Norval rolled his eyes but smiled back, “I wasn’t deserting, but when you catch someone sneakin’ around camp in the middle of the night, what else are you gonna think?”

“So-o, if you weren’t deserting, what were you doing? Why sneak around camp?” Kai cocked an eyebrow at him.

He smirked at her, “Oh, I would have deserted eventually, just not then.” He shrugged, “I was stealing, not sneaking out of camp.” Kai watched as a blush crept up his neck under the filth, “I got one of those wizards drunk and took his key. It belongs to a chest they got here, full of magical treasures. In fact, I still have it.” He looked back the way she and Alistair had come, nodding his head in the direction of the mage section of camp. “I can’t use it from here, but I’d trade you for some food and water.”

“You don’t have to trade me, I will gladly get you food and water.” Kai tilted her head, “They didn’t find the key when you were arrested? How is that possible considering your state of...undress.”

“I swallowed it. But it’s...uhhh...come back into my possession since then, so to speak.” The blush darkened his dirt encrusted skin further.

“That’s disgusting, you know that?” Kai made a face.

It was Alistair’s statement that had her burst out laughing, “And an excellent party trick, I’ll bet.” 

“Yeah, well, do you want the key or not?” Norval threw up his hands. “The guard has some food, I saw him set it aside earlier.”

Kai put her hand up to the cage, “I’ll see what I can do.” Norval nodded at her. Kai gave Alistair a pointed look and tilted her head to the side to ask him to step away with her. They moved off and stood looking at the guard. “Are you sure we can’t recruit him?”

Alistair shook his head, “I told you, we have to be careful with it. We can’t just use it on every convict. No matter that Duncan used it for that cutpurse.”

“We can’t just leave him to die in that cage! He wasn’t deserting!” Kai glared at Alistair.

“At least not at that moment, anyway. Look, Kai, we can’t conscript him, but we can get him food and water, and tell someone about him to get him sentenced. Maybe we can keep them from hanging him.”Alistair flushed and looked down, “It really is the best we can do.”

“Fine! But just for the record, I hate the leaving the man hanging in that cage.”

Alistair put a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Understood. I hate it too.” 

Kai nodded and walked towards the guard, a stout fellow in full armor with what looked like a few days’ worth of beard. With the way his armor fit, it was apparent missing a meal would do the man no harm. If anything, Kai figured it might do the guard some good, if she could convince him to part with his beloved food. 

The man startled her when he addressed her first, “Lucky dog. You Grey Wardens get to ride with the king while I’m left with the drudgery of guarding this deserter.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of Norval. “They should’ve just hanged him. Put his head on a pike as an example.” 

Kai’s eyes narrowed in anger, her hands automatically curling into fists, before she realized what she was doing. Breathing deeply and telling herself to calm down, she addressed the guard in a sticky sweet voice, “What makes you think he was deserting?”

The guard’s eyebrows shot up before he scowled at her. “Why does anyone want to desert? ‘Cause he thinks he’s going to die and he’s a bleedin’ coward, that’s why.” He crossed his arms and rocked on his heels, “Either that or he’s been listening to a bunch of hogwash about how the darkspawn’ll drag you off and eat you.”

Kai tried to set her face in what she hoped was a neutral expression, “I had a chat with him, actually.”

“Don’t expect it was an enlightening conversation.” The guard chuckled at his own joke.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, “He claims he wasn’t deserting.” 

The guard huffed and crossed his arms across his chest, “What a surprise. Another innocent prisoner.” He is voice dripped with sarcasm. “At any rate, it’s not for me to say. He’ll get his day to plead his case or he won’t. It’s all the same to me.”

“I believe him, and as for his day to plead, I am going to do what I can to see that happens sooner rather than later or not at all.” Kai took another deep breath, giving herself a mental head slap to remind her not to throttle the man. “He asked for some food and water.” 

“Did he now? Since nobody sends me nothing to feed him with, the only way he’ll get that is if I give him mine.” Kai watched the man’s face pull down in a frown. 

It took everything she had not to smack the man upside the head. Her thoughts must have shown in her posture as one of Alistair’s big hands clasped her shoulder gently giving it a squeeze. “So, you miss one meal--this man could be hanged soon!” 

The guard rolled his eyes and blushed, “All right, all right. I guess the fella could stand one meal in his belly before he hangs. Don’t know why you care.” She watched him go to a satchel sitting next to a stump the guard had been using for a chair. He removed a parcel wrapped in cloth and tied with twine. He handed it to her and pointed a finger towards her chest, “I had nothin’ to do with it, though. If anyone asks why he’s burpin’, I’m gonna say it was you, just so you know.”

The guard walked to the stump and picked up a cloth wrapped bundle placing it in Kai’s hands, “There, pray he chokes on it, it would probably be quicker for him.” Kai raised an eyebrow and pointed to the water skin sitting on the stump. “Oh, right.” The soldier walked over grabbed the skin and handed it over as well. 

“Here, take a few coins and buy yourself some ale when you are off duty.” Alistair slipped the man a few coppers. Kai rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help smiling as Alistair’s skin flushed delightfully. 

Kai stepped around the guard and went to Norval. “So...? Brought me some food and water, have you?” He reached through the cage taking the water skin tipping it to his lips and taking large gulping swallows, some of the water dripping down his skinny chest leaving lighter tracks in his dirt encrusted skin. Once his thirst had been slaked, he reached out again through the bars, “I’m so hungry I could faint dead away.”

“Here’s some food, Norval.” Kai handed him the bundle, which from the smell had bread, cheese, and bacon in it. “Just eat it slowly, or it will all come back up. You want it to stay down, or you will just be hungry again.” 

Norval grinned at her and bobbed his head and he opened the cloth and tearing off a bite of bread and a bit of the cheese with a bite of bacon, the grease slicking his chin. After downing his first morsel, he winked at her, “Much obliged. May Andraste herself rain blessings upon you!” Kai watched as Norval looked around before scrabbling in the straw of his cage before holding up a key. He looked at it and took the cloth from around the food, placing it in his lap, and wrapping the key in the napkin before handing it to her. “And...as I mentioned here’s the key. Use it in good health.”

Kai took the cloth wrapped key trying not to wince. It was Alistair’s comment that had her gasping for breath through the laughter. “Huh, considering where that came from, let’s hope we’re not the only ones in good health.” He grinned at her and waved his goodbyes to Norval. “We’ll tell someone you weren’t deserting and try and get you released.” Norval grinned and took more bites of food. 

Kai and Alistair turned back to walk past the priest and it struck Kai who the female soldier standing there was, Ser Cauthrien, Loghain’s lieutenant. Kai had heard of her from her father. A woman who had, like the hero of River Dane himself, come from a simple farming upbringing. The story went, that Cauthrien had seen Loghain being attacked near her father’s farm, and had come to the man’s rescue. She pledged her service to him and worked her way up the ranks with sweat and skill. Kai could appreciate that. Her father had spoken of the woman with respect. Ser Cauthrien nodded her head when she noticed Kai looking her way.

It was the screaming that came from what looked to be the infirmary area, that drew her attention. Kai walked over to a man sitting prone on a cot yelling, while a woman, a mage by the look of her robes, tried to quiet him. Kai didn’t recognize him as a soldier from Highever. He couldn’t have been one from Fergus’s group. At least she was praying he wasn’t part of Fergus’s group. As she drew close his eyes fixed on her. They are large, glassy, and wild. “You! You need to convince them! We’ve got to run! The darkspawn are coming!”

Kai locked her knees, the man’s demeanor made her want to step back. “What makes you say that?”

“I saw them! We’re gonna die!” He sat up grasping his side, lunging forward a bit.

The woman tending his wounds put a hand on his shoulder trying to push the man back onto the cot, “I apologize, Warden. He’s been like this ever since they found him in the Wilds.”

Kai watched as her hand snaked out and grabbed the woman’s arm, almost as if it belonged to someone else. “Was this man sent out with men from Highever?” 

The woman looked at Kai’s hand in surprise, but patted it gently after looking at her expression of fear. “No, my lady. This gentleman returned with the patrol sent out made of Bann Loren’s men. We have not heard back from the Highever patrol. I am sorry, my lady, was there someone...”

Kai shook her head and gave a small smile as she removed her hand, “What’s wrong with him? She motioned towards the man who still mumbled under his breath while rocking in place.

“Aside from his wounds, we’re not sure. His blood is untainted. He’s just terrified.” 

Kai was sensing a pattern here, “Untainted?” Alistair coughed behind her and blushed profusely looking away when Kai turned her eyes towards him. 

Before the nurse could elaborate, the wounded man interrupted, “You...you can feel it can’t you?” Kai followed his gaze back to Alistair once again. She watched his blush deepen and he shuffled his feet as she cocked an eyebrow at him. 

She tore her gaze back again as the man’s hand grasped her arm hard enough to leave a bruise. His wild glassy eyes bore into her own, “They taint the land, turn it black and sick. You can feel it...on the inside! He can feel it.” The man nodded towards Alistair, dropping his voice to a whisper, “He has it crawling around inside of him, he knows. He knows!” His hand loosed its grip and he leaned back once more, his voice sounding in despair, “They’ll come out of that forest and spread. Like caterpillars covering a tree, they’ll swallow us whole!” 

Kai watched the nurse shoot Alistair a look before turning back to the wounded man, gently laying him back on the cot. “That’s quite enough out of you. You need to calm yourself, my good man.”

The soldier writhed on the cot his voice raising in decibel, “They were everywhere! Everywhere do you not understand? I saw them!” His voice trailed off and could be heard muttering, only snatches discernible, “they’re coming” being taken by the wind as it blew across the courtyard. The nurse patted the man’s arm and nodded her head at Kai indicating she should follow. 

“I’m sorry if that soldier frightened you.” She bent down over the soldier lying on the cot before her. Kai noticed the strange pallor of the prone soldier. His eyes were silvery white and his skin had black and purplish blotches along with black circles under his eyes. His lips were cracked and there was a fetid smell lingering over the cot. 

This man was was also muttering and rocking. What he said caused fear to snake along Kai’s skin like newly hatched baby spiders, “It burns on the inside! It hurts so much! I can feel it inside me. It’s crawling inside me!” The man’s hand reached out and grabbed her arm in a vise like grip. She was going to have bruises on her bruises at this rate. “He calls! Can’t you hear him? The song it’s so beautiful! He calls!” The man’s oddly milky eyes got wide and he released Kai to point at Alistair behind her. “He can hear him! It crawls inside him too! He hears, he hears!” The soldier broke off into high pitched maniacal laughter. 

The nurse shot Kai an apologetic look. Kai looked at the laughing soldier, and back to his ward, “You mentioned tainted blood. I take it this man has been tainted?”

The nurse shot Alistair a look which Kai couldn’t read, before she nodded. “Yes, the darkspawn can taint people as well as the land.” Again a look passed between the woman and Alistair, “Most don’t survive it, if they do they become...ghouls.” Kai watched the nurse flush and look away, “Excuse me, I need to tend to my patients.”

Kai nodded and she and Ali turned to walk down the ramp to the south side of the camp. Kai stopped halfway down the ramp turning to Alistair who had to take a step back from her abrupt lack of movement. “So, care to tell me about this Joining ritual?” She smiled sweetly at him, “I’m sensing a pattern in darkspawn, and their blood, and the Wardens.”

He flushed looking guilty, even shuffling his feet like small boy caught stealing a cookie from the kitchens. “I wish I could tell you more.” He reached out his hand grasping her arm, his eyes pleading. “I really do wish I could tell you more. Ask me again, after Duncan speaks to you about it. I promise I will tell you more.” 

Kai nodded and gripped his hand with her own, smiling. “Ah a puzzle wrapped inside a conundrum, stuffed inside an enigma all coated in Grey Warden secrecy.”

He grinned that lopsided smile, “Riiight, something like that.” 

Kai laughed and continued to make her way down the ramp. To her right a guard with a mabari stood in front of a large gate leading to a forest covered pathway. Kai took a moment to look at the gate, wondering if that was the way Fergus and his men from Highever had gone. She was broken from her musing when the guard spoke to her. “Hail! You’re one of Duncan’s new recruits, aren’t you?”

“Hail and well met, I’m Kai.” She bobbed her head at the man. 

“I can’t let you through to the Korcari Wilds, if that’s what you were thinkin’, not until Duncan gives the word.”

Kai almost laughed, she hadn’t been thinking that, but true to her nature, being told she couldn’t made her want to. “Why not?”

“The Korcari Wilds is a dangerous place, more so now that it crawls with darkspawn. They say the Great Blight began deep within its forests.” He shrugged, “One of our scouting patrols has been gone for three days. We’re taking bets on who got them first: the darkspawn, or the Witches of the Wilds.”

Kai felt her heart beating so hard she thought it could surely be heard by everyone in camp. Fergus, they were taking bets on her brother’s life! Kai saw red, and she only realized that   
she had grabbed the man by the front of his armor when she was forcefully knocked back by a large muscled marbari, baring its teeth at her. “Bets?! You’re sodding taking bets on men’s lives? My brother is in that patrol you bloody bastard!” Kai felt Alistair’s hand on her shoulder, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. 

She watched as the man’s face first paled then turned scarlet. “Cradoe! Down!” The soldier motioned to the dog, who turned with a look over its shoulder towards its master before wagging a stump of a tail and going to the man’s side. “I’m sorry, my lady, I...I didn’t know.”

Kai closed her eyes and took a deep breath, nodding. “So you were saying there are other things than darkspawn for my brother and his men to worry about?”

“Well...there’s an old legend in these parts about Flemeth, the apostate sorceress who conquered the area centuries ago. She united the Chasind barbarians and invaded the farmlands.” He shrugged, “That’s when the great hero, Cormac, destroyed her army with his. Took her head right off, so they say.”

“Her daughters survived and became the Witches of the Wilds. Tales tell of them plaguing this area since. Mostly superstitions---stealing babies and spoiling the milk.”

“And you think the witches exist?” Kai cocked an eyebrow at him.

The man looked sheepish and shrugged, “Only when it’s dark and the wind is bad. No doubt those patrols met some darkspawn...” He blushed harder and looked away before turning his gaze to her again. “Sorry, my lady. That’s enough for anyone to worry about.”

At any rate, that’s why Duncan doesn’t want you wandering out without his say-so.” Kai walked to the gate gazing through the large, sharpened logs that made up the barrier between her and her brother. She put her forehead to it, Fergus! She pounded her fist on the rough bark of the post.

She felt a strong, gentle hand grasp her upper arm, and she turned as Alistair pulled her away from the gate with a nod at the guard. He lead her past the portal under the trees into the high grasses growing next to a stone wall. “Kai, what’s wrong?”

Kai felt her face getting hot and tears were threatening at the corners of her eyes so she looked down, “My brother, Fergus, was sent out on patrol. If that group hasn’t come back yet...” Kai found herself caught up in strong armor covered arms, Alistair’s chin resting on the top of her hair. 

She should have felt shocked she supposed, but it felt comforting and...natural. That surprised her, but before she could puzzle on it more she heard a familiar voice behind them, “Well, well, you must tell me what line you used, mate. I wasn’t successful with this spicy miss. What is your secret?” 

Alistair’s arms dropped away and he stepped back as if he had been burned. When Kai looked his way, the horrified look on his blushing face had her smiling. Alistair’s sputtering had both her and Daveth laughing until tears ran from their eyes, “I didn’t...I wasn’t...! Really, you two are just...” He sighed heavily and threw up his hands in exasperation, “I give up! What did you want, Daveth?”

“Our fearless leader, Duncan, isn’t at the camp near the fire. I was wondering if you might know where the old bugger was.” Daveth shot Kai a cocky grin.

“The old bugger, as you call him, is your commander Daveth, and he saved you from the hangman’s noose. Grey Warden Commander, Commander, and if absolutely necessary, Duncan; but never call him old bugger again.” Alistair glared at the cutpurse.

“All right, all right, no need to get your knickers in a twist.” Daveth grinned harder putting his hands up in supplication. 

“Why do you need to know where Duncan is? Why do you care? He will be there when he’s there. But if you must know, he is down in the valley talking to Bernardo, his second in command.”

“Just curious, my friend, just curious. No need to get your hackles raised. I just had some questions for the old...for the Commander.” Daveth winked cheekily, “You know, you are entirely too tense, Alistair. Maybe our newest member can, scratch your itch? It might alleviate your...stress?” He shot Kai a cocky grin that had Alistair blushing and Kai biting her lip to keep from laughing. Daveth gave a mock salute and turned to walk back the way he had come. 

“And Duncan recruited him, why?” Kai turned to back to Alistair to find him pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Kai took pity on him, giving his arm a shake, “Cheer up, at least you aren’t in charge of him.” She grinned at him.

He smiled back and nodded his head, “You make a very good point.”

Kai heard mabari barking and looked behind Alistair to see what must be the kennels. There were tents and soldiers with more mabari standing outside. They wore different armor than Kai had ever seen before. Curiosity got the better of her, and she walked past Alistair towards one of the soldiers standing with his roan colored war hound.She noticed as she drew closer that the dog wore paint in a pattern swirled on the dog’s coat.

One man, with dark hair pulled back into a long braid, stood talking to an elven servant, who looked terrified. She didn’t know whether that was the normal state of the servant or due to the scowling face of the soldier, who was obviously the leader, and a man used to having others do as he said. Mabari had alphas in their packs, as did wolves from which mabari were bred This man standing before her was obviously the alpha of his own little pack of warriors. 

The elf scampered off, his shoulders hunched as Kai strode up to stand next to the soldier. He turned to her, his face a scowl, “What do you need? You haven’t brought more instructions from the teryn, I hope.”

Kai watched him cross his muscled arms across his armor covered chest, “More instructions?”

“Teyrn Loghain has changed our scouting route a dozen times. If you’re not from the teyrn, what do you want? We’re busy.” He narrowed his eyes at the both of them.

Kai, never one to be put off by a less than warm welcome, grinned at him, “You don’t look like the other soldiers in the army.” 

He grinned back, “We aren’t. We’re the Ash Warriors.” 

“So, is it a big secret? What’s an Ash Warrior?” Kai chuckled and cocked an eyebrow.

He shook his head, “No it is not a secret. Our training has been passed down since Luthias the Dwarfson first harnessed the battle-rage of the dwarves. It is an old tale.” 

Kai leaned forward, “May I hear this old tale?”

“I am no bard, but I will do my best.” His smile got wider and he rocked back on his heels. His tale wove the story of Clayne tribesman who while negotiating a truce with the dwarves, fell in love with , and married the king of Orzammar’s daughter. She taught him how to utilize inner rage to fight even when wounded. 

“So, they feasted on blood and lived happily ever after?” Kai gave him a cheeky smile.

“Not in this tale, friend.” He shook his head, “Luthias’ prowess earned him the love of Morighan’an, a beautiful chieftan of another tribe.”

“I sense trouble in paradise.” Kai bit her cheek to keep from laughing. Her chuckle was returned and he continued with Luthias’ wife Scaea leaving him to go back to Orzammar, and an all out war between clans as Luthias had sent Morighan’an away vexing her enough to get people killed. The story ended as most such tales seemed want to do, with Morighan’an and Luthias killing each other in a final single combat. The dwarves even came from Orzammar to take his body and give it a hero’s burial in the mountains, dwarf style.

“What happened to his wife Scaea?”

He tilted his head and cocked an eyebrow while shrugging, “It is said that before the final battle, she returned to Luthias and gave him a shirt of dwarven chain along with a final night of passion. Then she was gone forever.

If she lived on in Orzammar, only the dwarven folk could say for certain.”

Kai reached out her arm offering her hand in a warrior’s shake, “An interesting legend, friend. Thank you for telling it to me.”

She could feel his firm grip through the leather of her vambrace, “It was an honor.”

Kai bobbed her head at him as he let go of her arm, “So, you channel that inner rage?”

He nodded and grinned, “We have adapted it to let us fight alongside our hounds.” He swept his hand towards a dark brown mabari with a red paint swirled in a pattern on its coat. “That is our way, and I trust my hound with my life, as she trusts me with hers.” 

“As do I. I have a mabari hound of my own.” Kai bent down to scratch the dog under the chin.

“Then you are most fortunate.” He bent down and scratched his hound’s ears. “A trained mabari hound is as dangerous as any sword. We do not speak of a city pet or those things that sit in an old woman’s lap, do we?” His hound’s grin matched his own. 

Kai shook her head and laughed, “So, what are you preparing for?”

He rose back on his feet and Kai followed suit rather than craning her neck. “We are preparing to scout the Wilds and watch the progression of the darkspawn horde. With luck, we’ll find and slaughter many stragglers.” He nodded towards his mabari, his face darkening, “The hunt will be good if my hound survives the blood of her prey. If she dies, I shall mourn tonight.”

Kai felt fear chilling her skin, Argus could die from darkspawn blood? Maker! Kai closed her eyes, taking deep breaths while clenching and unclenching her fists. “Survives the blood? What do you mean?” Kai wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“Darkspawn blood is poisonous, but not always fatal. Those who survive grow immune to its effects.” He nodded to Alistair standing behind her. She didn’t need to look to know that he was shuffling his feet again. “The Wardens say the tainted blood drives even the survivors mad eventually...but not today. Today we hunt, today we kill.”

Kai looked at the mabari laying at her master’s feet. The hound’s chocolate brown coat was painted in a red ochre paint with a swirled pattern. “Why have you painted your dogs?”

He followed her gaze and smiled as his mabari turned her muzzle up to him with a lolling doggy grin. “They use scent to distinguish us from our enemies. But the blood of battle can confuse them.

So we paint ourselves with kaddis, which overpowers the blood, and also paint our hounds, so they know we are the same.”

“And if the enemy painted themselves with kaddis?” She grinned at him.

He chuckled and raised an eyebrow at her, “Why? Would you steal our kaddis and give it to the darkspawn hordes?”

Kai had to laugh this time, “Absolutely not! I hope you’re joking.”

“Good, if you tried, we would kill you.” He grinned wider and clasped a hand to her shoulder, “And that is no joke.” 

Kai winked at him, “You could try.”

He snickered and dropped his hand from her shoulder, taking a pouch from his belt. “Here, take this kaddis, paint your own hound, and some part of yourself. With this, he will find you even in the most crowded and chaotic battle. You will be fighting the darkspawn yourself. Use it in good health, my friend.”

Kai stuck out her arm to have him grasp it in a warrior’s clasp. “Thank you, my friend. Good hunting. I will leave you too it.”

He nodded giving her arm a tighter grasp, “My thanks. There is hunting to be done, and I’ll not be kept from it.”

Kai stepped back and turned to Alistair, nodding with her head towards the direction of the campfire. “So, the blood of darkspawn kills or drives one mad. I can’t wait for Duncan to explain the Joining ritual.” She watched Alistair’s face turn the shade of a ripe tomato. He opened his mouth but she cut him off, “No, don’t say it. I know you can’t tell me. And I won’t get you in trouble with your fellow Grey, especially not with Duncan.”

As the passed by a guard he nodded and greeted them, “Welcome to the King’s camp, my lady.”

Kai raised an eyebrow at Alistair, “Oh, ho, we get to stay in the King’s camp do we? Cailan really has a thing for Wardens.” Alistair’s laugh made her heart beat faster. Their campfire had only Ser Jory sitting before it, his back against a pillar. He appeared to be writing a letter. Jory looked up and gave them a slight nod before turning back to the parchment before him. 

Kai shrugged, “Well, Duncan and Daveth aren’t here, shall we continue on with the tour?”

Alistair grinned at her, “Why not? Though I do worry to think what Daveth is up to.”

They continued on past the fire. As they drew close to a large green tent with red, orange, and yellow knot work designs, Kai saw a man duck out of the doorway of the tent. He didn’t see them, but walked brusquely past. He looked familiar and the shield on his back only confirmed it, it bore the rampant bear on a white and yellow checkerboard. Howe’s man! 

Kai gripped Alistair’s arm briefly before she started off trying to follow the shield through the crowd. She followed the bouncing bear as it lead her back up the ramp, past the infirmary. She watched as the man slipped through large gateway leading to another area of the camp. Kai made to follow him but a blond soldier stuck out an arm, placing a hand on Kai’s chest barring her way. “I’m sorry, my lady, but the army camp is off limits to you for now.” 

“But he is getting away! I need to talk to that man!” Kai pointed at the rapidly diminishing sight of the shield before it completely left her view. 

“I am sorry, miss, but you aren’t allowed in there.” He shrugged and dropped his arm, giving a hand signal to his mabari who rose to attention.

Kai huffed angrily and spun back on her heel striding back the way they had come. Alistair grasped her arm and spun her around. “I know I keep asking this with you, it’s becoming a habit, but what was that all about?” 

“That was Howe’s man. One of the soldiers who helped attack Highever and kill my family. He followed Duncan and I, looking for us on our way to Ostagar. Apparently, my foundering his horse didn’t delay him as much as I thought. The blacksmith in Watersedge must have the fastest hands in Fereleden. I was hoping to have a little chat with him.”

“Well, we can’t go in there. All we can do is tell Duncan when we see him. I’m sorry Kai.” His hand grasped her own, giving it a squeeze.

Kai nodded. “Just whose tent was he leaving anyway?”

“That was Teyrn Loghain’s tent, actually. Hey-y! Where are you going?” Kai had turned on her heel once more and started back down the ramp.

“I think I need to speak to the Teyrn.” Kai shot over her shoulder as the green tent of Loghain came back into view.


	16. A Teyrn's Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Kai gets to confront Loghain, but as per her agreement to Ali, no sharp instruments may be used. I felt he and Kai needed a chapter on their own together. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up! : )
> 
>  
> 
> My shout out to the people who added this story, and myself, to your favs and alerts: riversend, hilde, Imhotep Ardeth Bey, Piceron, Aslarn, GriffinGuts, and Stella Smooth. My thanks to you all. I can’t tell you what a thrill it is to get alerts. : D
> 
> And my shout out to my betas: Night Hunter MGS (who will be doing a guest author Loghain piece on Whispering Sighs); Ladyamesindy, Violet Theirin, and Picreon who all three put up with my constant pestering in real time chats, love you guys! And to my sainted and wonderful grammar beta Janni (who also writes under the pen name Jannifer on FF net, please read and review her wonderful stories). 
> 
> My love and thanks go out to all who have read, lurked, and reviewed. I write for me, ultimately, but I do love writing for you all too! I strive to continue to write and entertain you. Thank you so much for joining me for the journey. : D
> 
>  
> 
> Blessings!

“Kai!” Kai felt herself being spun around again by a large, strong, hand. “Kai!”

“What?!” She glared at Alistair.

“You can’t just go...confront the man.” Alistair’s face almost looked panicked. 

“And just why can’t I?” Kai pitched her voice in a sticky sweet tone that made Alistair wince.

“Because you don’t know what they talked about, or that Loghain was involved with what happened to your family, Kai.” 

“Howe’s little henchman just left his tent, how can you say that?!” Kai could feel the heat rising in her face, and her heart was pounding. Images of Oren and Oriana, Nan, and her parents were trying to float into her mental vision. She squeezed her eyes shut hard enough she saw stars. 

“Kai.” She felt Alistair’s muscled hands on each shoulder. When she opened her eyes it was to see his amber ones filled with concern. He spoke her name softly again, “Kai. Did it occur to you that Howe’s man was giving the excuse Howe cooked up as the reason why Howe’s army isn’t here when it was ordered to do so by the King? And that the man responsible for coordinating the battle is the one he would need to report to?” Kai sighed and shook her head, looking away. Alistair’s hand left her shoulder to tilt her chin up to look at him again. “Or that confronting Loghain without proof might hurt Duncan and the Wardens?” His gaze was intense, “Kai, do you see?”

She nodded, “May I at least seek an audience with the man and gauge his reaction to me?” 

Alistair gave her his lopsided smile and nodded, “Only if you promise not to try and run the man through, and that no matter how he acts we tell Duncan and the King, deal?” 

Kai had to laugh. Maker! What was it about this man that always managed to make her feel better? So much like her brother and her father. The only people who managed to soothe her without being patronizing. “Fine, no running the Hero of River Dane through, got it.” 

Alistair chuckled and released her shoulder, waving his hand in a gesture indicating she should lead the way. They made their way back down the ramp and back the way they had come. As they approached the teyrn’s verdant colored tent Loghain’s guard called out to them, “You approach the tent of Teyrn Loghain. State your business.”

Kai took a moment to observe the man. He was mostly clean shaven, with a strip of beard like a strap along his chin. His armor was good quality though he was no noble, and he was young. Kai figured that might work to her advantage. She might be able to get information and an audience with Loghain, based on her station. “Is the teyrn inside? What is he doing?”

She watched him shuffle his feet, obviously conflicted, “He’s inside, but...I don’t think it’s my place to discuss his activities.”

Kai leaned forward giving him a conspiratorial smile, “Surely you can tell me a little bit about him. What was Arl Howe’s man doing here?”

She watched him look from side to side as if to see who might be nearby to overhear, and casting a glance at the tent behind him, before leaning in himself, “I suppose...as long as we talk quickly. He did meet with the Arl’s man, but I don’t know what about. The teryn sent everyone out of the tent, including his second Ser Cauthrien. I can tell you that he and the king have been arguing for days now.”

He flushed a little before continuing, “The teyrn’s known the king since he was swaddled, so they don’t stand on ceremony. The teryn speaks his mind, and the king yells right back. They were going at it a moment ago. And a few minutes after the king left, Arl’s Howe man requested an audience and the teyrn sent everyone out. He said it had something to do with Amaranthine’s armies and why they aren’t here.”

“Personally, I think the king should do what Teyrn Loghain tells him. Without the teyrn, we wouldn’t be doing as well here as we are.”

“What do you really think Arl Howe’s man came here for?” Kai cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I can’t really say, my lady.” His skin went a shade darker. 

“If you had to guess?” Kai brushed a hand along his arm.

He cast a look behind him at the tent once again before turning back to her and pitching his voice lower, “I did hear the teyrn raise his voice, but he lowered it again right away. Whatever was said upset him, and I thought I heard a name, Kay, Key, Kye something or Kadayna? Kyedonna? Or something like that.” He shrugged, “But I couldn’t hear much after that.”

Kai shot a look at Alistair, “I would like to speak to the teyrn please.” She smiled sweetly, brushing her hand down the man’s arm again.

He blushed, “Hmmm. I suppose you have a message for him. Hold on then...” She watched him walk to the tent, announce himself before stepping inside.

After a very brief moment the tent flap moved and he stepped out with the teyrn right behind him. Kai watched the sunlight shining off the silver armor that Loghain had taken off of an Orlesian knight during the occupation. He strode forward with the gait of a man used to being obeyed. He stopped to stand before her, but his attention seemed elsewhere. Finally his ice blue eyes focused on her. Their widening was almost imperceptible, but Kai caught the motion, subtle as it was. 

“Yes, what is it?” His voice was smooth and calm with a slight hint of annoyance. It left Kai to wonder did he feign the irritation to cover for something else? Shock? Disquiet? The Hero of River Dane, disturbed by her presence, how...interesting. “Ah, you are Duncan’s new Grey Warden, I assume.”

Kai had to give the man credit, he recovered fast. It only meant she would have to work harder to trip him up. “And how would you know that?” She cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms across her chest.

His voice held a tone of sarcastic disdain, which Kai remembered from meeting him at Maric’s funeral, as his normal speaking voice. “His majesty could not contain his excitement after your meeting. How could I not hear about you?”

His mouth drew down further at the corners, the acerbic note to his voice deepening his it, “Cailan’s fascination with the Wardens goes beyond the ordinary, his fascination with you beyond propriety.” Loghain’s rolled his eyes as he mirrored Kai’s pose, crossing his arms across his armored clad chest. “Are you aware his father brought the order back to Ferelden?”

Kai nodded, her heart still squeezed painfully at thinking of Maric, her old childhood friend. She swallowed hard before answering, “Yes, I’ve heard that.”

Loghain snorted, “Maric respected the Grey Wardens. They have an honored place in the hearts of our people.” 

He tilted his head, “You look familiar. Have I seen you at the Landsmeet?”

Kai resisted the urge to laugh, the man was good, he actually said it with a straight face. She knew full well he knew who she was, that little flicker in his cold cerulean gaze earlier told her said so. She decided to push him once more to see if she could get a reaction, “My father was the Teyrn of Highever.” She saw his eyes crimp ever so slightly at the corners. 

“The king told me of his...promise. I am certain he has every intention of following it through.” Kai heard a note in his voice that she didn’t couldn’t quite grasp but that sent shivers down her spine.

Loghain dropped his arms to his sides, “I don’t suppose you’ll be riding into the thick of battle with the rest of your fellows, will you?”

It took a second for her to recover from his complete change in topic, “I don’t know.”

“If Cailan has his way you will.” His gaze became more intense. “Now I must return to my task. Pray that the king proves amenable to wisdom, if you’re the praying sort.”

He turned as to take his leave, and Kai couldn’t resist pushing him just a little more, “And if he doesn’t?” he smiled sweetly, “Prove amenable that is.”

Loghain turned back to her with a grimace on his lips, “Then simply pray.”

Kai’s smile broadened and she tilted her head at him, “You don’t seem very fond of him.”

That statement alone seemed to garner the most reaction from Loghain. He stepped closer leaning towards her, putting his face in hers. “He is Maric’s son and the leader of my beloved Ferelden, and a very young man. I try to keep that in mind, as should you.”

Kai put her face closer to his, “Oh, I didn’t say I wasn’t fond of him; I just said you weren’t.” She smiled sweetly.

He cocked an eyebrow, “Hmph.” He pulled away, but not before Kai saw something swimming behind that frost-blue gaze. She had landed a hit, but in what way? 

She let him turn away and walk a few steps before trying again. “Not like, say, your fondness for Arl Howe’s man? I heard it was quite...intimate.”

Kai watched Loghain spin on his heel abruptly. His hands were in fists at his side, one eyebrow was raised and he had a glare that could have frosted metal. “My ‘fondness’ for Howe’s man, is...none of your business, young woman.” And with that he stalked away to his tent disappearing with an irritated snap of the tent flap as he left her view.

Behind her Alistair blew out a steady stream of air. “Well, that went both better and worse than I imagined it would.”

“Hey, you said I wasn’t to use a dagger or a sword. You never said I couldn’t harangue the man verbally.” Kai turned towards her companion. “He’s hiding something. Several things, if I had to guess. I was hoping to unsettle him, make him slip. You heard his guard. They were speaking about me, even if he didn’t hear the name quite right. I know they were!”

“Yes, they may well have been, and I don’t doubt that they were. But we have no proof. And it was a nice try, but you couldn’t crack that man with a dwarven mace.” Alistair placed his hand on her shoulder in what was becoming a familiar gesture. “Kai...”

She cast a look over her shoulder at the emerald colored cloth that wrinkled, its pennants snapped in the breeze. “I would give my right hand to know what he and Howe’s man spoke of. And did you see his reaction about Cailan? Something is going on there. And what are they fighting about?”

“I wonder what it all means?” Kai turned back to see Alistair’s gaze following her own.

“For one thing, it means that Loghain is up to his icy blue eyeballs in the death of my family and the destruction of my home.” Kai glared at Alistair.

“Kai, you can’t know that, not for certain.” She continued to glare at him and he sighed letting go of her shoulder. “I just know what you are going to say next,” he muttered.

“We need to tell Cailan and Duncan.” Kai grinned at him and turned to saunter over towards the King’s tent.


	17. A Pick of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the plot thickens. Fighting between Cailan and Loghain over Anora no less..... I hope i continue to entertain you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. : )
> 
> To all those who have put me, and this story on alerts and favorites: fussycat, b5anon, and TMcGeeSDCA my deepest thanks! 
> 
> To my betas and friends: Night Hunter MGS, Ladyamesindy, Violet Theirin, Piceron, and Janni (Jannifer is her penname); my love and appreciation. They let me bug them incessantly and encourage me. They keep me straight, and sane( well as sane as I can be, anyways). I love you all so much.
> 
> To all of my lurkers (boo, I see you in the stats : D), and my reviewers thank you. I love watching my stats bar climb, so thank you all. And to my reviewers, you have a special place in my heart for taking the time to review. You all rock my world!
> 
> Blessings!

Kai stopped in front of Cailan’s sunny yellow tent, sunny like the man himself. Kai did a mental head shake. Maric was good humored but with a constant underlying sadness about him. Cailan was the opposite, always blithe and bright. Kai sighed to herself. Cailan looked so much like his father, that she was reminded of Maric, and that she admitted to herself, hurt still. 

Shaking off her melancholy, which would only lead to thinking of all her beloveds, dead now; and that would lead her to worry over Fergus, she stepped forward to stand in front of his guard. The man smiled at her, “Greetings, King Cailan is not in his tent right now.”

Kai returned the smile, even though she was disappointed Cailan wasn’t there. She hadn’t seen Cailan since they had met in the garden when she was ten and spent the day pilfering strawberries and blackberries, and getting into mischief. Their meeting at the gate had been brief and not at all private. At Maric’s funeral, they had spoken only briefly before Anora had interrupted and interspersed herself between them on the guise of being introduced. At the royal wedding, she had not spoken to him at all, Anora’s doing no doubt. Kai hoped that he would be in his tent so she might actually have a deeper conversation than they had managed so far. 

She desperately wanted to let him know of Howe’s man visiting with Loghain in private with no other witnesses. And she realized that she really had not been able to keep up with her king, and the son of her childhood friend. She needed more information. Something was not right if Loghain and Cailan were yelling at one another. 

Kai smiled and stuck out her arm for a warrior’s shake and he obliged. “Do you know where he is? Tell me what is going on with him, you must see him a lot.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I have known him since I was ten, and King Maric and I were...we were friends. I’m concerned with what I heard from Loghain’s guard.” She shrugged at him.

He reached up and removed his silver helmet to run fingers through equally silver hair. “I suppose I do, though he’s spending most of his time with the Grey Wardens. That is probably where he is now, in their camp, drinking. He holds them in high regard, you know, like his father did. He rides with them wherever they go, in fact.”

The King’s guard sighed as he placed his helmet back on, “Teyrn Loghain sees the king whenever he can and argues with him over coming battles, but the king just waves him off.” 

He shrugged, ”The king wants to end the Blight with a single huge battle the bards will sing of for centuries. Do you think that’s possible?”

Kai shook her head, “I can’t say; we’ll see in the coming battle.”

He chuckled, “That’s what the Teyrn feels. He’ll do what the king wants in the end, though.”

He sobered almost immediately, “The king thought it was funny the teyrn called him reckless. And they fought about the queen.”

Kai cocked an eyebrow, “Do they fight often? Do they fight about Anora often?”

His shoulders rose again, “More than usual, lately. Good thing the teyrn’s the only one who can speak to the King like that.”

“What were they fighting over, about the Queen, I mean?” Kai tilted her head.

“She’s the teyrn’s daughter, as you know.” He waved his hands.

“He wasn’t happy about something she did or the king did...I’m not sure. I probably shouldn’t discuss it.” He gave her a rueful half smile.

Kai nodded, and patted his arm, returning his smile, “I need to see the king as soon as he returns. Would you please tell him that when you see him? Tell him, Kaidana Cousland has more information that may influence his promise.”

The guard’s eyebrows raised, “His...promise?” He grinned harder when she nodded, “Very well, my lady, I will tell him at the first opportunity.” He stuck out his arm and Kai took his arm in a warrior’s grasp.

“Thank you, I will take my leave.” She released his arm, and nodded to Alistair that he should walk away with her. 

They moved off, and stood on the ramp behind the tents of Cailan and Loghain looking at the fluttering canvas. Alistair shook his head, “Well that was certainly interesting. What is going on I wonder? Did I say Loghain is keeping the lid on the pot? Well that pot seems to be boiling over.”

Kai grinned, “Ah, you haven’t had much dealing with nobles and Ferelden politics have you?”

Alistair blushed and looked away before he gave her a lopsided grin. “Nope, can’t say that I have much experience with that sort of thing.”

“Yes, well all joking aside, I have and I am still concerned. I think Duncan may need to hear about it as well.” Kai shrugged, “I don’t know if it will make a difference in the battle, but still.” 

Alistair waved his arm up the ramp, “Shall we continue on with a tour of the camp then? Further up is an archery practice range, if you care to use it.” 

They turned and walked side by side up the ramp to find a small crowd of soldiers looking with rapt attention at a small dark mass of something on the ground before them. The smell hit Kai’s nose before she was actually able to see a discernible humanoid shape; it smelled liked carrion, and vomit and excrement overlapped by the smell of musty stone. 

Kai walked up closer to look at a olive greenish skinned creature with a bald head and a malicious grin (even in death) filled with sharp needle teeth. The smell up close made her eyes water and the bile to climb up her throat. The creature wore a patchwork of armor some obviously dwarven made and stolen, the rest was rudimentary and primitive at best. 

One of the soldiers was speaking to the group assembled before him, “I don’t want you all listening to the nattering fishwives’s rumors you have all been hearing. They don’t drag people underground and eat them. And stop any talk of them enslaving the survivors.” Kai watched him turn his glare on each one of them in turn while Alistair shuffled uncomfortably from foot to foot behind her. Interesting. 

The soldier continued, “You all fight for Ferelden and your king, remember that. Yes, they are tough, but stick them with a sword enough and they die just the same. Mark my words carefully, their blood is black, dangerous as any poison. Dogs who have bitten them and been tainted have to be muzzled to keep them from biting from madness. It is a slow and painful way to go.”

Again Alistair’s armor creaked as he fidgeted, but ceased as the man’s look turned their way, “We’ve had reports from the Wilds of larger ones being seen. This one is called a Genlock. We don’t know where they’re coming from, so use caution. Large or small, haven’t seen one that won’t die if they bleed enough.” He waved his arm at them all, “That about covers it. See to your weapons practice.” He nodded his head toward the archery range before turning on his heel and walking to the target area himself.

Kai turned and faced Alistair as the soldiers who had been gathered walked around them like water around rocks in a stream. “Well that was certainly informative and interesting. If not a bit on the smelly side.” 

Kai laughed as Alistair blushed and shuffled his feet again. “Kai, I can’t...”

She waved him off, “Yes, I know you can’t really talk about it, but at this rate, neither you, nor Duncan, will have anything left to tell me.” She chuckled again when he let out an exasperated sigh. “Come on, finish showing me around.” She smiled wide and looped her arm around his as if they were at a ball, which only served to make him blush harder. 

“Over this way is a fantastic view of the valley and the mountains.” He walked towards the ruins cutting slightly left.They walked past a couple of soldiers talking in low tones. The woman had dark hair worn the same way her mother wore hers--had worn-- and the man had copper hair like Dairren’s. The vision of her mother, Lady Landra, Iona, and Dairren standing in the sunlight of the atrium at Highever swam before her vision causing her breath to catch in her throat and her vision to get blurry. 

Alistair must have felt her hesitation as he stopped and turned to face her with a quizzical look. She swallowed hard and shook her head giving him a small smile. He gave her hand a squeeze before continuing on towards the ruins of the edge of the cliff that looked down into the valley. As they neared a rotunda now exposed to the open air, they heard a female voice reciting the Chant of Light. The source of the chant became apparent when they crested a slight hill and found a young priestess who knelt, head down, hands in supplication praying to the wanton wind that blew around them. Alistair nodded to their left indicating that they should go to the other side, leaving the priestess alone to her entreaties. 

They followed the rounded outer wall of a room that looked as if it was a place of worship, the female statue inside headless and holding a sword; only to find yet another person standing with hunched shoulders, his back to them. 

Kai recognized him as the elven messenger who had introduced himself as Pick to the Ash Warrior. The poor fellow looked even more harried than was usual for his kind. As he turned Kai saw the sunlight highlight the dark circles under his eyes and the fine lines on his skin. He had a pinched look about him. Kai had felt sorry for him, he had been positively frightened of the Ash Warrior, and he had taken off at a run, and fled once again as they had approached Cailan’s man outside his tent. 

“Hello? I’m sorry, is there something you need?” He ran a nervous hand through his auburn hair, ruffling it behind softly tapered ears. 

Kai was taken back for a moment, “What do you mean?”

He smiled nervously, “I’m Pick, and I deliver messages around the camp. Do you have a message for me?” If you don’t I would appreciate it if you don’t mention that you found me here. I will get the whip for sure if you do.” He shuffled his feet, looking down at them as he did so. “Oh, it is so much easier to hide back at home.” 

Kai felt a surge of anger that this poor man had been so abused, as most of his kind were. She swallowed down the urge to find Pick’s so called masters and beat them within an inch of their lives. And then it struck her, she could indeed uses his services by having him send a message to both Cailan and Duncan. “Yes, I do.”

She watched as Pick’s face lit up, “Then what is...?” And before she could answer he sputtered on, “Are you the one I’m supposed to give this sword too? Because the smith gave it to me, he is done with it. You can can give it to your fellow knight.” 

Kai grunted as Pick thrust a cloth wrapped sword into her arms. Kai tried to stop him, “But...”

“This will speed things up considerably, thank you! Now I can deliver my other messages. You have saved me from the switch for sure!” And with that Pick rushed past her and Alistair and disappeared around the curve of the building back the way they had come. 

Kai yelled at his retreating back to no avail, “Wait, I...!” Kai sighed and looked at the bundle lying in her arms.

“He must be the worst messenger ever.” Alistair shook his head and grinned at her.

Kai chuckled, “Isn’t that the truth. Not only did he give me someone else’s sword, and I have no idea whose it is, but he didn’t even take the messages I do have for Duncan and Cailan.” 

Alistair gave her his lopsided grin, “Well, we can ask around, keep our ears on the alert, and figure out whose sword it is.” He held out his hands, “Here, give it to me, I can strap it on with my sword.”

Kai unwrapped it and handed it over to him, her fingers brushing his, the contact made her skin tingle and she flushed and looked down. When she looked up it was to find him frozen in place holding the sword in its leather sheath, his own skin turning pink. He coughed and fumbled to strap on the sword. “Well, shall we head back to the fire and our camp and see if Duncan is back yet?” Alistair flushed a darker shade of pink and grinned at her.

She laughed and nodded, “He is probably wondering if I got lost.” 

They made their way in companionable silence around the other side of the building so as not to disturb the priestess praying, and back down the ramp past Loghain and Cailan’s tents. Duncan was indeed before the fire along with Argus. 

“Well, let’s go see what Duncan wants me, or us rather, to do for this Joining ritual.” Kai grinned and strode toward the fire and the bearded figure that stood beyond it.


	18. Nimble Fingers & Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter we find out what Kai’s mabari has a second name. There is a confrontation with Kai’s dead lover’s father, and trip into the Wilds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> *Iain’s shield refers to the character (and younger brother of Bryce Cousland, lost at the battle of White River during the Rebellion) my dear friend, and very talented author, Ladyamesindy created for her story “We Do What Must Be Done”. It is the origin tale of Bryce and Eleanor Cousland and a wonderfully creative story. Please check it out. It is one of my favorite stories.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you again for kudos, comments and reading. Your support is a blessing.

Kai and Alistair made their way to the fire, with Jory tagging along when he saw where they were headed,and stood before Duncan. “You found Alistair, did you? Good. I did want to ask you if anything untoward happened earlier.” Duncan raised an eyebrow at her. 

Kai blushed but kept her eyes on him, “I don’t know what you mean.” Actually, she didn’t know what, of the many things she had managed to do this day, he meant. If not all of them. Duncan did seem to know everything going on at all times, the man was too sharp by half.

“Earlier, your mabari began looking up from the valley and barking frantically. He seemed to think you were in trouble, young lady. Now why would he think that, I wonder?” Duncan’s eyes sparkled with mirth. 

“I have no idea.” Kai smiled sweetly. 

“Except that trouble always seems to know right where she is at all times, you mean?” Kai heard Alistair mumble under his breath, which was expelled suddenly, when her elbow shot out catching him in the stomach, causing Duncan to emit a deep throated chuckle.

“I’ll assume you are ready to begin preparations.” Duncan leaned in and shot a deliberate look at Alistair who stood rubbing his belly. “Assuming of course, that you’re quite finished riling up mages.”

Kai shot Alistair a look, he blushed and ran the hand previously soothing his bruised abdomen, through his hair. “What can I say? The Revered Mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt they should stick her in the army.”

Duncan cocked an eyebrow as Alistair came to stand beside him. “She forced you to sass the mage, did she?” Alistair blushed and shuffled his feet as Duncan continued. “We cannot afford to antagonize anyone, Alistair. We don’t need to give anyone more to wield against us.”

Alistair looked down at the ground, blushing harder, before looking at Duncan once again. “You’re right, Duncan. I apologize.”

“I don’t, the old bat.” Kai murmured under her breath while rolling her eyes. 

Duncan shook his head at her while his lips twitched suppressing what looked like a smile, “Now then, since you are all here, save Daveth...” Duncan pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, “We can begin. You can fill in our slick friend once you find him...again.”

“You four will be heading into the Kocari Wilds to perform two tasks. The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each of you.”

Kai nodded, “And what is the second task?”

“There is a Grey Warden archive in the Wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such remote outposts.” Duncan crossed his arms over his armor clad chest.

“It has recently come to our attention that some scrolls have been left behind magically sealed to protect them.” Duncan turned to the young Warden, “Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can.”

Kai couldn’t help but be curious, “What kind of scrolls are these?”

Duncan grinned at her, “Old treaties, if you’re curious. Promises of support made to the Grey Wardens long ago.” 

His face sobered immediately, “They were once considered only formalities. With so many having forgotten their commitments to us, I suspect it may be a good idea to have something to remind them with.”

“And what if they’re no longer there?” Kai furrowed her brow. This was beginning to sound like a needle in a haystack sort of assignment.

“It’s possible the scrolls may have been destroyed or even stolen, though the seal’s magic should have protected them.” Duncan nodded towards Alistair, “Only a Grey Warden can break such a seal.”

Alistair shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t understand...why leave such things in a ruin if they’re so valuable?”

Duncan grimaced at Alistair, “It was assumed we would someday return. A great many things were assumed that have not held true.”

Kai snorted, “Isn’t that always the way? So, how will we find this archive?” 

“It will be an overgrown ruin by now, but the sealed chest should remain intact. Alistair will guide you to the area you need to search. I will be giving him a map of the area in the Wilds where you are going.” Duncan shrugged, “Granted, the map is as old as the chest, but it should get you there.”

Kai gave him a cheeky grin, “Is this part of our training too?”

Duncan chuckled, “No, young lady, it is not part of your training; but the effort must be made. I have every confidence you are up to the task.” 

She winked, “Find the archive and three vials of tainted, poisonous blood. Understood, captain my captain.” Kai gave him a snappy, mock salute.

Alistair looked at Duncan. Kai noticed he seemed a little pale. “Duncan, may I speak with you for a moment?”

Kai watched them walk away from the fire towards the tent they had here at camp. Argus came and leaned against her thigh giving her a little whine.She crouched down beside him to rub his broad head behind his pointed ears, while keeping an eye on Alistair and Duncan. “Hey boy, I’m all right.” Argus gave her a happy, soft woof and licked her cheek, making her grin. 

Alistair gesticulated with his hands while getting red in the face. He seemed more scared than angry, from what she couldn't tell. Duncan stood his usual stoic self, apparently letting Alistair get whatever it was out that he wanted to say. She could only hope it wasn’t her that was causing this sudden disquiet in her soon to be fellow Warden. 

Kai could feel Ser Jory standing behind her, “I wonder if it is yet another test for us they are discussing.” Jory let out a huff of air, “I thought I proved myself worthy at Redcliffe.”

Argus looked at Jory for a moment before cocking his head next to hers and gave her a questioning whine. “I have no idea boy. I only hope it isn’t anything I did. But you know me.” She continued to observe the two men. When Alistair seemed to run down and finish, Duncan placed a comforting hand on the young Warden’s shoulder while speaking in quiet, soothing tones. This seemed to bolster Alistair, and he nodded, giving a chagrined smile at Duncan, the way a small boy would his father. 

Duncan gave the shoulder a squeeze before taking his hand away and taking a rolled up browning piece of parchment from the pouch attached to his belt and handing it to the younger man. He reached into the pouch and handed Alistair a smaller leather bag which clanked slightly. That must be the vials for our poisonous liquid retrieval. Splendid. Kai huffed to herself. If the insides of darkspawn smelt as bad as the outside, this was going to be a mission that would require a lot of hot water afterwards. 

Kai’s inner musings were interrupted when Alistair and Duncan made their way back to stand before her. Kai rose so she wouldn’t have to crane her neck. Duncan clapped a comforting hand on Alistair’s shoulder once more, “You had best find our cutpurse friend, fill him in and be on your way.” Alistair gave him wan smile which garnered him a gentle grin from Duncan. 

Alastair nodded, “Let’s find Daveth...again.” Kai chuckled and jerked her head at Jory to follow along. 

Since Daveth would no more be allowed to go to the army side of camp than they were, she figured that left him with a limited set of possible place he might be staking out for opportunities to lighten someone’s unwieldy burden of carrying around too much coin. She mentioned this to Alistair who was inclined to agree that Daveth was probably scouting out possible marks near the quartermaster. After all, soldiers, commoners, and nobles alike would purchase any sundries from the only merchant in camp with items to sell, beside the food and drink vendors. 

Sure enough Kai caught sight of Daveth as he emerged from the shadows following the velvet clad back of some noble. Kai watched as the thief cut the strings to the fancy dagger sheath belted at the man’s waist. 

Kai caught up with him as he stood letting his mark walk away up the ramp in the direction of the infirmary and army’s camp, watching with a smirk of triumph on his handsome face. “Really Daveth? One close call with the hangman’s noose wasn’t enough for you?” Kai wrinkled her nose at him. You do realize you can’t be conscripted twice, right?”

Daveth grinned at her, but before he could say anything she grabbed the dagger from his hand and ran up the ramp, Argus following on her heels. She caught up with the noble, who still hadn’t noticed the change in weight from its loss. Kai managed to tap the man on the shoulder just as he reached the gate leading to the army camp. “Ser, you dropped this...”

Kai felt her stomach clench when the man turned to face her. He was none other than Bann Loren, Dairren’s father. Loren’s eyes got wide, his mouth pulling into an ‘o’ of shock. Something else crossed his face, fear? Cunning? Interesting. She had no love of the man, nor he her, but his reaction seemed out of place even for that. 

Alistair, Daveth, and Jory came up behind her. Bann Loren’s face changed once again to the red faced ire she was familiar with; she had seen it enough when Tyrel Loren spoke to Dairren or his mother. “Well if it isn’t the little Cousland chit? Stealing from me were you? Like you stole my son from me?” 

Kai snorted, “You can’t steal what is given away. You never gave a damn about Dairren or his mother.” Kai almost choked on Dairren’s name, just barely keeping her voice steady she plunged on. “Why the sudden pretense now?” Kai raised an eyebrow, “And as for the dagger, I told you. You dropped it.” Kai thrust it into Bann Loren’s chest hard enough to cause him to grunt. He fumbled to catch it as Kai immediately released it once it made contact with his person. 

Loren looked at the leather thongs that had tied it to his belt, “Dropped it did I? Then explain how the ties are cut so cleanly! You little whoring bitch-thief!”

That last comment elicited a strong “Hey-y!” from Alistair, and a “Look here, mate”, from Daveth. Kai swiftly drew one of of her daggers, twirling it in nimble fingers, before leaning in close, placing the point on Loren’s chest. “As you can see, I have no need of another dagger, especially not that be-jeweled and useless pig sticker you’re carrying.” Kai gave him a cold smile, “And I have money, I don’t need to steal to get more.” 

“Oh, I am sure you have plenty now that your family lies dead, save for that brat of a brother of yours.” Loren put his face in Kai’s, his eyes narrowed while he gave her a wicked grin, “Though I suspect that the family treasury is a little difficult to get to now, isn’t it?” Argus growled low in his throat as Loren leaned in closer.

It felt as if the world stopped. Kai could feel the blood draining from her face. All sound receded into background noise as her own heart beat like a war drum. “How do you know about my family and Highever? I only arrived here today, and only King Cailan and Duncan know. And I know for a fact that the king has been down in the valley with the Grey Wardens. I also know he doesn’t like you and wouldn’t tell you shite.” Kai tilted the dagger’s tip from Loren’s chest to rest under his chin. “So tell me exactly how is it that you know?”

Loren’s eyes widened and he stood stock still. His voice quavered, “I don’t know what you mean. I heard it around camp!” 

“Heard it around camp my a---” What she was about to say was interrupted as a silver armor covered hand reached out and gently grasped Kai’s wrist, turning the dagger away from under Loren’s chin. 

Kai turned her head to find Duncan watching the man with a hard glint in his eye. “I believe my recruit asked a valid question, Bann Loren. How do you know about the fall of Highever?”

“Your recruit? The Wardens must be insane, or desperate, or both to take this troublemaker in their ranks. And now she is a thief.” Loren’s voice pitched higher with his bravado. “As for how I know about Highever, I will tell you what I told her. I heard it around camp. News like that tends to travel fast.” Loren smirked and shrugged his shoulders, “No loss if you ask me. The Couslands always thought of themselves too highly. Especially Bryce, thinking he had the right to interfere with a man’s fam...”

Anything else Loren would have said was lost as Duncan swiftly lifted him off of his feet slamming the bann’s back into the stone wall that held the gate. “I would chose your words more carefully, Bann Loren.”

Behind her Daveth whispered, “He’s fast for an old bugger.” Kai stifled a giggle that wanted to border on hysterical.

Jory’s voice replied, “Yes, well I thought it advisable to fetch Duncan, considering where the conversation was headed.Now I’m not so sure that was wise either.”

“You are making a grave mistake! Unhand---” Loren’s voice ended in a gasping choke as Duncan’s hand squeezed harder.

“I watched my friend’s castle burn, I saw him with his entails hanging between his fingers, bleeding. I saw the murdered bodies of his daughter-in-law, his grandson, and your son and wife. I left him and Eleanor behind to die. I would be very, very careful if I were you, Loren.” Duncan’s voice was low, quiet, smooth, and oh so deadly. 

“Howe’s man was here in camp, Duncan.” Kai burst out. Duncan turned his head slightly to look at her. “The man whose horse we foundered. He must have had the shoe repaired faster than we thought he would.” 

Kai walked up to stand by Duncan, pitching her voice lower so as not to be overheard by the guard standing on the other side of the gate doing his best to ignore what was going on. “I saw him, coming from Teyrn Loghain’s tent.” this statement Loren’s eyes opened in fright. So, that was where Howe’s man went after his visit with the Teyrn. 

Kai cocked an eyebrow throwing the bann a nasty look while speaking to Duncan. “You were down in the valley. By the time I caught the camp messenger you were already here, but with the assignment and finding Daveth. I forgot to tell you.” 

Kai crossed her arms and glared at Loren. “Well?”

“I told you, I heard it around camp, and that is all I have to say on the matter.” Duncan released Loren who stood rubbing his neck shooting angry looks at all of them, though there was fear around the edges of his eyes. “Since I have no wish to cause the king more worries, I shall forget your thievery.” With that the bann turned sharply on his heel and strode quickly for the gate.

“I’m sorry for your loss Bann Loren! Your son and wife will be missed!” Kai yelled at his retreating back. The bann stopped, without turning around, his shoulders stiffened for a brief moment before he continued on eventually becoming lost in the crowd.

“Well, young woman, it seems Alistair was right, trouble knows where you are at all times.” Duncan grinned and clapped a hand on her shoulder. His eyes looked into hers with a sadness she understood. 

“Duncan, what was that about all us needing to get along?” Alistair gave his lopsided smile, “I seem to remember you mentioning that, somewhere, at some point.”

Duncan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, it would seem following one’s own advice can be the hardest of all.” He glanced at Kai, sensing her mood, and giving her arm a squeeze before he motioned that they should all follow him back to the bonfire. As they walked past the Quartermaster and the infirmary Duncan glanced at her once more. “Kai, were you stealing from him? If you were, I need to say something to you. You are a worthy and skilled recruit, and I know of your talent with slight of hand.” Duncan grinned at her, “Learned from the magician and court entertainer when you spent time in Denerim.” 

Kai laughed and nodded. She had almost forgotten that Stiobhán, the man whom she suspected was a cutpurse and rogue during the rebellion, was also the one who showed her certain...tricks. He was one of those heroes that stayed in Maric’s service after the fall of Orlais. His innocuous, and supposedly, law abiding new position really hid a spy and guard to the king. He knew sleight of hand tricks with coins, and cards. Sometimes even with small animals like rabbits or doves. 

It was during one such entertainment session for the nobles of the Landsmeet and their families, that Kai befriended the man. He had called all the children up on the stage set in the royal gardens to participate in some of the tricks. One such trick involved a live songbird inside a small cage. All of the children were to touch the cage as he threw it in the air and made it disappear, to the delight and awe of all. But it was the coin trick that caused the magician to be most impressed with Kai, when she pointed out where the coin really disappeared to when she picked the man’s pocket and showed him the coin. Both Maric and Stiobhán laughed, and Maric asked his spy and magician to teach his little friend some tricks from that day forward. 

Duncan broke Kai out of her reminiscing, “That is a good thing. Grey Wardens use a diverse range of skills and tools to accomplish their missions.” Duncan shot a look over his shoulder at Daveth. “But the law is very hard on thieves. Ferelden still bears mistrust towards our order, so practice these skills with caution.” He turned back to Kai, “Your standing as a Warden will not always help you.”

Kai flashed him her sauciest grin, “But I need the practice to get better. After all, it has been years since I last practiced my sleight of hand.” She batted her lashes at him.

Duncan grinned. “Certainly. Just don’t get caught.” Kai flashed a look at Daveth herself and watched the thief blush bright red. Duncan cocked an eyebrow at both of them, “Let us change the subject, shall we?”

They arrived in front of the bonfire once more. Daveth went to Duncan and began to confess to being the thief. Duncan waved him away. “I know that, the lecture I gave was as much for you as her.” Daveth flashed him a smile and a cheeky salute which elicited a heavy sigh from Duncan. “Daveth gather your things. You and your fellow recruits, along with Alistair, will be going into the Wilds; which you would have heard had you been here instead of using your nimble fingers in less than appropriate ways.” Daveth grinned wider, causing Duncan to roll his eyes. Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing, Daveth was as much trouble as she was apparently. “Your fellows will fill you in on your journey.” Duncan’s eyes followed the thief as he disappeared into the big blue tent they were all sharing. 

He shook his head and then smiled. Kai figured if she was going to say what she intended, now was the time. Jory had gone back to writing his letter, using his knapsack as a back rest. And Daveth was in the tent packing his bag. “Duncan.” Kai nodded her head to him and he and Alistair walked over to her. “Duncan, I need to ask you something, well you and Alistair.” 

Kai patted Argus’s broad head, looking down at her beloved mabari. “Argus, my friend it involves you as well.” Argus cocked his head and whined. “Argus, I need you to stay with Duncan while we go into the Wilds.” The dog barked as if in protest. “Now, don’t argue. You must stay here. This is for me to do, and where I am going you cannot follow.” Argus whined but gave a bark in the affirmative and a small lick on her hand.

Kai turned to both Duncan and Alistair once more. “If I don’t come back from this mission...” Kai leaned in pitching her voice lower so as not to be overheard, “Or if I should not survive the Joining...well, I want to know that Argus will be taken good care of.” Duncan’s face went still and Alistair blushed when he looked at the young man. Kai shook her head, “Alistair didn’t tell me anything. It really wasn’t hard to piece things together from hearing the crazed ramblings at the infirmary, or the discussions with the Ash warriors, or from the whispers of the other soldiers. Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to put it all together?” 

It was Duncan’s turn to shake his head, “No, young woman, I actually expected it. I am far more surprised Alistair didn’t let it slip somehow.” Duncan grinned. This elicited a “hey-y”, from the ex-templar, causing both Kai and Duncan to laugh.

It was a loud bark from Argus that brought her back to the seriousness of the situation and her request. She knelt down putting her arms around the mabari’s big muscled neck, resting her forehead against the hound’s. “Now Argus Rabbit, don’t be like that. You know I will do my best to come back to you. You are my best friend, besides Fergus.” Kai hugged him tight while the mabari licked her face. “After all I have...after all we have lost, I can’t do this unless I know you will be okay. If Fergus lives, go to him. If not, stay with Duncan and Alistair, okay? Promise?” Argus whined, but licked her face more vigorously before giving her an affirmative bark. 

She gave him one last hard hug before standing and facing Duncan and Alistair again, who both nodded to her. Alistair flashed the mabari a sympathetic look before grinning at Kai, “Argus Rabbit?” The hound gave Alistair a low growl. “Hey, I am just asking, not criticizing.”

Kai laughed, “Yes, well you see my brother...Fergus, wanted a mabari rather than a little sister. Our relationship was...strained, in the beginning? King Maric came to a tourney my father held for him after Queen Rowan’s death. He brought mabari pups and offered to have one imprint on my brother.” Kai looked down at Argus and grinned, “As you can see that didn’t quite work out the way it was intended. But it brought my brother and I close together.”

Duncan chuckled, “Yes, I remember that visit. And that incident.” 

Alistair looked between Kai and Duncan, and back again. “Yes-s, well, that still doesn’t explain the Rabbit part of his name.”

Kai looked at Argus who began to bark, and leap, and twirl. “As you can see, Argus likes to jump around a bit when he ‘talks’. He also had really big feet as a puppy, his back ones reminded me of a bunny.” Alistair raised an eyebrow at her, and Kai grinned and shrugged, “I was four. So, when I was asked what I wanted to name my new mabari, I said Bunny. Of course my brother protested, being a boy, that it was not a proper name for a war hound. So, I said ‘Rabbit.’ My parents, in their wisdom, suggested that Fergus name him and I agreed. Fergus came up with Argus, which means ‘guardian’. But my brother, when my parents couldn’t hear, called him Argus Rabbit, just for me.” Kai felt tears welling up just thinking of Fergus, along with all of her fear and worry over him. 

She patted Argus’s head until she could get her emotions in check. She swallowed hard before looking up again. “I also wanted to ask you, Duncan, to make sure my...my possessions will get distributed among the rest of the Grey, should I fall. You will do this, yes?”

Duncan nodded, grasping her arm in a gentle grip. “I will, though I know I will not need to.”

Kai gave him a smile, and then a thought struck her. “Be that as it may, I do have one thing I have with me that I can give to someone right now. And it will certainly serve him better than that leather covered, wooden serving tray the Templars gave him.” Kai gave a pointed look at Alistair before giving Argus the hand signal for ‘stay’ and going to their tent. 

Daveth was just leaving, his bow strapped to his back, and his pack slung across the other shoulder. “Hello, love, just my luck. If I had known you were coming to see me I would have waited.” He flashed her a wicked grin, “I’m sure we could have some fun together.”

Kai rolled her eyes at him, “Ah, the offer of a quick roll in the sheets...or cot as the case may be. It’s not everyday a girl gets an offer twice in one day, unless it’s from you I suppose.” She wrinkled her nose at him, “Truly amazing there aren’t women just lined up.”

“I know isn’t?” He laughed with her before walking on towards the rest at the fire.

Kai shook her head, grabbed her still packed knapsack and the item she sought, before leaving the dim interior of the tent and making her way to stand next to Alistair. “Here, this will serve you better than the shield you have.” Kai thrust her father’s bulwark at him, the Cousland herald painted on its battle marred surface. 

Alistair’s strong hands grasped the metal his face a look of surprise and appreciation. “But I can’t take this, it belongs to your family. Shouldn’t your brother have it?”

Kai gave him a wan smile, “My brother carries our *uncle Iain’s shield, he died at the battle of White River during the rebellion. This is...was my father’s shield.” 

“All the more reason why I can’t take it.” Alistair held it back out to her.

Kai pushed it gently back at him. “Use it for now. I can’t, I tried once and broke my arm in two places.” She grinned at him. “If Fergus is alive, then you can always give it back to him later. In the meantime, you can consider it as using a family heirloom to protect me. I’d feel a lot safer than if you use this than that wooden piece of shite you have strapped on at the moment. I think my father would agree.” Kai swallowed hard and looked down before looking at Duncan and giving him a small smile.

“I quite agree. Now you all had best be on your way. The sooner you all go, the sooner I can expect your return.” Duncan turned to Alistair, “Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly and safely.”

Alistair gave Duncan his lopsided grin, “We will.”

“Then may the Maker watch over your path. I will see you when you return.” Duncan, grinned and clapped one hand on Alistair’s shoulder, and the other gently squeezed Kai’s arm. They both nodded at him. Kai whistled at Daveth and Jory, jerking her head in the direction of the gate, and they all walked past the Ash Warrior’s encampment to the large wooden portal. 

The same guard with whom Kai had her altercation was still on duty. He nodded and gave her a rueful smile, which she returned. “Hail! I’m told you all have business in the Wilds. Duncan bid me open the gate for you... just be careful out there.” He reached out his hand to grasp Kai’s in a warrior’s grasp and in a lower voice he leaned and whispered, “Especially you, my lady.” He straightened back up, “Even a Grey Warden won’t be safe in the forest tonight.” He grinned at her. “Good luck, my lady, and to you all. Maker watch over you.”

“And you.” Kai grinned, gave his forearm one more shake before releasing it so he could swing the portal open for them. Kai took a deep breath and walked through stopping a short way down the mountain path that snaked downwards into the Wilds. Once her group stood behind her, they heard the clanking rasp as the gate was shut and locked into place behind them.


	19. Into the Wild's Swampy Yonder We Go!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So into the Wilds they go. Kai will be looking for Fergus in ever corpse they come across. And what a fun place the Wilds, even without the darkspawn. 
> 
> And thank you all for reading, the kudos, the comments. You all amaze me, giving me some of your precious time. Thank you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BioWare owns all but what I made up. : D
> 
> My love, admiration, and appreciation to my beta: Ladyamesindy who is a wonderful and prolific fanfic writer in her ow right. Please check out her works! I couldn't do it without her.

Kai and her rag-tag crew stood looking down the dirt path. Or rather Alistair’s group stood looking, she reminded herself, though she sensed the ex-templar was not into leading, if his private chat with Duncan earlier was any indication. 

She began walking down the pass cut into the hill on one side with a drop off on her left. Kai stopped part of the way down the trail and took a moment to adjust to the change in sound and smell. Even the quality of the land seemed to be changing the further down the path as the air became thicker and damper. 

As she continued on she noticed that along with the moisture laden atmosphere that the temperature was dropping. The air seemed to have a life and mind of its own. Wafts of dank breeze snaked along her exposed skin and under her armor like sly clammy little hands. 

She also felt as if they were being watched, as if the stones and blades of grass had eyes. Kai shrugged it off, only to find a few moments later that they were being watched... by wolves, who sprang from the bushes with fangs bared. She had only a moment to register her shock as the wolves around Highever were shy and avoided humans as a rule.They only attacked in the winter when hunger drove them rather than their normal instincts. 

These beasts, however, were brutal and nasty. They had no such reticence about humans. She worried that they might have the water madness disease, but she saw no foaming at the mouth to indicate it was the cause of their aggression. 

The battle was long and bloody. When it was done, a dozen or more wolves lay dead. Luckily her band of wanderers only sported minor cuts and bruises. The long throbbing red welt from on claw across her chest where her armor didn’t reach burned with the sweat as it cooled on her skin. 

She passed around a health potion, and they all took a sip. Daveth walked up to her. “Waste not, want not as me mam used to say.” He nodded towards the corpses. We can skin them and put the pelts up in the tree by this rock here,” He patted the boulder beside him, “We can pick them up on our way back.” 

 

Kai grinned, “You just have a thing for shiny coins don’t you?” Daveth returned her grin and Kai directed Alistair and Jory to start skinning. It took her and Daveth to oversee the two of them, as neither had ever skinned an animal before. Kai, as a noble’s daughter, attended quite a few hunts. As it was frowned upon to do her own gutting and skinning, she had taken to the tasks with relish, especially in front of the noble’s sons. Daveth learned his skills out of necessity it seemed, food and coin being the most likely reasons.

They used some rope from Kai’s pack to hoist the skins over a branch of the tree and keep them from scavengers or other animals. They would pick them up on their way back to the ruins and their camp when they returned from the Wilds. If they returned. The Wilds was proving to be hostile without darkspawn. 

Kai let that thought trail away, though the overall feeling of being watched had not abated. She slowly turned looking for the possible source..more wolves, other creatures? Who knew what lived in this place. Whatever it was, it was definitely creepy and set her teeth on edge. 

She spun in a slow circle, and something bright yellow and red caught her eye. She walked closer to the edge of one of the dank and dark pools of water the Wilds seemed filled with. It was cloth, and it moved back and forth with the rippling tide of the water. At first Kai thought it was a scrap of cloth blown out from the ruins and camps above them. Maybe a pennant? 

As Kai drew closer she saw soldier’s stiffening body lying near the water’s edge. Her heart beat painfully, the man’s face was turned away from her, and he wore dark chain armor. Her breath constricted in her chest, coming out in gasps. Fergus, no! Her mind buzzed, part of her wanted run, the other part felt compelled to roll the man’s head towards her so she could see his face. 

Her hand trembled as she did just that. Her stomach felt as though shards of glass and ice rested in it. It took a moment, but finally it registered that the face before her was not her brother. She wanted to laugh hysterically in relief. 

Alistair’s strong hand on her shoulder startled her and her desire to giggle was replaced by a small yelp of surprise. “Ki?” She looked up to find Alistair, and Daveth and Ser Jory, looking at her with concern. 

She shook her head at them, “It isn’t my brother.” She rose and found herself looking at carnage which looked as though a wagon carrying supplies and clothing and personal items was involved. She saw more corpses, blood, dead oxen.Kai walked towards it, the others trailing her. Each dead body received her gaze, and each one made her heart want to stop until her mind confirmed none were Fergus. 

Before she could go further into the carnage, Alistair called her back. She turned to find them pulling a body out of the water. The man was dressed in a red and yellow Chantry robe, so she knew it was not Fergus. He was obviously the source of the scrap of cloth that had caught her eye in the first place.

The man’s robes were waterlogged, but he was not bloated as some corpses in water tended to do. In fact he had been lying at the bottom of the shallow end of the pond. Kai looked once more at the man in chainmail. None of the bodies were bloated, and none smelled of rot. The flies were just starting to buzz around the bodies. “This must have happened just before we arrived.” Kai pointed out her observations to the others. 

“You dress in fine armor, you give our leader here, a very nice shield with a noble crest. You kill and skin animals as good as any hunter, and you know so much about corpses and death. You certainly are a walking contradiction. I am even more intrigued and enamored?” Daveth gave her a saucy wink and a leering smile.

Kai snorted and rolled her eyes at him,“Hah, enamored, more like lusty. And as to my knowledge of death...that should perhaps set off warning bells for you.” Kai raised a pointed eyebrow at her fellow rogue, who only grinned wider.

“Nah, that just makes me more interested...tease.” Kai joined Daveth in a laugh while Ser Jory only looked befuddled, and Alistair...annoyed?

It was Alistair’s harsh cough that made them break it off, “Yes-s, well, as amusing as you both are, don’t you think we ought to check out what the fellow has in the pouch he is wearing? He might have family we can notify so they don’t wonder what happened to him.” 

Kai nodded and bent down, grasping the cold wet leather bag at the man’s waist. She undid the thong connecting the pouch to the man’s belt, with some difficulty. The knot finally gave way and she was able to slip it off digging her fingers into the swollen leather to force it open to gain access to its contents. She pulled out a water sodden copy of the Chant of Light, and a leather wrapped metal tube with lid that could be twisted on or off to keep the contents safe from the elements. It was a dwarven invention, and it was used by humans (and the dwarves too) to keep important papers and missives safe. There were even versions what required codes to open them, and a vial of vinegar that would break and destroy the paper if they were tampered with. Kai’s had seen them in her father’s office many times. 

She rolled the tube over in her hands, this particular container did not require a code, for which she was grateful. The Chant of Light being as long and involved as it was, she could have been here until she was old and gray working on opening it. As it was, she gave the lid a twist to the left and popped it off. She stuck her finger into the inner recesses of the cylinder and tugged the paper free from its prison. She checked and found it was the only parchment inside before unrolling it.

The paper unfurled as she stretched it between her fingers. The paper’s edges were worn, and dirty, as if it had been unrolled and re-read many times. The handwriting was neat and ruler straight, as if bad penmanship and crooked lines were an act against the Maker, and it read:

My dearest son,

It pleases me that you wish to follow in my footsteps and bring the Maker's word to the unenlightened. I wish you had chosen a less dangerous place to do so!

Apologies for leaving early for the Wilds, son, but I wanted to set up camp and get things started. The Chasind respect one with survival skills in the Wilds, so I hoped to get a grip on that before you arrived, and maybe establish an agreement with a local tribe so that we had friends when you came.

When you reach the Wilds, you'll find it difficult to navigate. I've listed certain landmarks below. If you follow them, they will lead you to a location I've scouted out, where I've left you some supplies. If you're lost, try to get back to that spot, and I'll find you.  
The landmarks are as follows, beginning at the entrance to the Wilds from Ostagar:

Look for a tree leaning on the ruined building  
Pass under a fallen "bridge"  
Pass a submerged tower on the right  
Look between a high, ruined arch and a mossy standing stone  
Walk along a path of roots and stones  
Look for two large statues with a chest between them  
There you will find our meeting point.

I love you Jogby, my son. I hope to see you soon.

 

Your father,  
\--Rigby

Kai stood up and handed the letter to Alistair. He read it aloud to their group while Kai checked the pouch, ensuring it was empty. She caught Daveth as he took the man’s belt and flipped it over, looking to see if it held a secret compartment for coins. She snorted and shook her head, and Daveth shrugged and gave her a rueful grin. “I know, I know, waste not want not, as your mum used to say.” Kai chuckled, the man was incorrigible. 

“Well, poor sod. If we run across his da, we can at least tell him what happened.” Daveth grinned at her as his search yielded nothing. 

Alistair handed the parchment back to her, and she rolled it up and placed it back into the metal cylinder. Kai hoped to use the directions in the letter and find Jogby’s father there. She slipped the container into her pack before slipping it back over her shoulders.

Kai wanted to put them all in a pyre and cremate them, as Ferelden tradition dictated, but Alistair must have read her face; he shook his head, “We don’t have the time. We must get those vials of blood and the treaties. Who knows how long we have until the horde finish amassing their latest army. Sorry, Kai, I know how you feel, but we should press on.” Kai nodded, and he smiled at her, “We’ll tell the others at Ostagar when we get back.” Again she nodded and gave him a reassuring smile.

They started down the path, past the wagon and the bodies of dead soldiers, none of whom were Fergus. The carnage made Kai’s stomach want to heave, the smell and sight reminding her of Highever. She stood overwhelmed by unpleasant memories of that night, they were so realistic she swore she could here the moaning of the wounded soldiers in the Great Hall with Ser Gilmore. 

It was Daveth’s hand that clamped on her shoulder this time rather than Alistair’s; but it was his use of “My Lady” that brought her back to the present as it was such an odd term coming from the rakish rogue. She realized the pained moaning didn’t just belong to a bad memory, but to the present in which she found herself. She noticed movement amongst the wreckage and other corpses. One body crawled towards them, a man sliding on his belly.

Kai ran up to him dropping to her knees so she could cradle the man’s torso, lifting him up. He was not a man from Highever, and she found herself expelling her breath in relief. The soldier groaned and clutched at his wounded side. From a cursory inspection, he looked to have multiple gashes and scratches. 

He looked up at her, “Who...is that?” His head tilted slightly in Alistair’s direction, “Grey...Wardens?”

“He’s not half as dead as he looks.” Alistair shot Kai a grin, and she glared at him. “Sorry.” 

The soldier groaned again, “My scouting patrol, we were attacked by darkspawn. They came out of nowhere.” The guard’s pale face grimaced in pain as he struggled to raise himself up, “I need to get back to camp!”

Kai grasped the man’s shoulder and pulled him back down, it didn’t take much effort. “We can take you back..”

She was interrupted by the soldier’s pained voice, “If you can just ...bandage me up, I...” He gasped sharply, “I can get back myself.”

Alistair bent down patting the man on the shoulder, “I have some bandages in my pack.” He handed some to Kai and they set about binding the man up as best they could. Kai asked after Fergus, but the man’s party had only passed his patrol going in the opposite direction some hours before they were set upon. The priest was a young man also headed into, rather than out of the Wilds, who happened to meet them as they were going back to Ostagar. A band of darkspawn had sprung as if from the very air, and decimated the entire group before even one sword had been drawn, or one arrow nocked. The first bit of news was comforting, the second, not so much.

It certainly explained to Kai’s mind why there were no monstrous corpses with the human ones. She finished tying off one of the bandages and made one more attempt to offer assistance, “Are you sure we can’t help you get back to camp?”

“Thank you, no.” The man groaned heavily as Kai and Alistair lifted him, gently as they could, to his feet. “I just want to get out of here!”

Kai pointed back the way they had come, and the trail leading back up to the gate to Ostagar, “Follow around the bend there, past the lake. It’s safe now, we killed a pack of wolves. Still, I wouldn’t tarry over long.” Kai patted him on the shoulder, “Are you sure you don’t want us to go with you?”

“No, thank you! I’ve got to get out of here!” The soldier stumbled past them and hobbled as quickly as he could in the direction she indicated. 

Daveth gave a chuckle, “Here’s yer helmet, what’s yer hurry, mate?”

Kai, and even Alistair grinned at him. It was Ser Jory, whose face registered the kind of beady eyed fear that the giant rats in the larder showed when faced with blades and Mabari teeth. In fact, Jory reminder her of a walking Wilds Rat. His voice pitched one octave higher, “Did you hear? An entire patrol of seasoned men killed by darkspawn!”

Kai looked at Daveth who grimaced and shrugged. Kai rolled her eyes and Daveth coughed to cover his laughter.

Alistair broke in before Jory could make a retort, “Calm down, Ser Jory. We’ll be fine if we’re careful.” 

Jory’s small eyes got round, “Those soldiers were careful, and they were still overwhelmed.” Jory started to pace, “How many darkspawn can the four of us slay? A dozen? A hundred? There’s an entire army in these forests!” He stopped pacing and flapped his arms, reminding Kai of a wounded goose in voice and manner.

Again, Alistair pitched his voice to be soothing, though Kai caught the barest hint of annoyance. “There are darkspawn about, but we’re in no danger of walking into the bulk of the horde.”

Jory ran a shaking hand over his close shaven head, “How do you know? I’m no coward,” Again Daveth hid a snort in a poorly disguised cough, while Kai stifled a giggle trying to well up by jamming her knuckles against her lips and rolling her eyes once more. Thank the Maker, Ser Jory was either too dim or too occupied not soiling his armor to notice their reaction to his statement. The knight plowed on, “But this is foolish and reckless. We should go back!”

Alistair let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. Kai bit her lip or she would have laughed out loud, instead she tried to talk to the nervous man herself. She opted for something she thought might assuage the man, “Overcoming these dangers is part of our test.” 

Jory looked at her with a simple look on his face, “That’s...true.”

Alistair flashed Kai a grateful smile before turning back to address Ser Jory, “Know this. All Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. Whatever their cunning, I guarantee they won’t take us by surprise. That’s why I’m here.” 

Daveth winked saucily at Kai and grinned at Jory, “See, ser knight? We might die, but we’ll be warned about it first.”

Alistair groaned covering his face with his hand, while the knight squinted at Daveth. “That is...reassuring?”

Kai thought she would break a rib trying to hold in the laughter, she turned her back to Ser Jory while trying to get herself under control. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Alistair, whose face was pink as if he too had been trying not to laugh,and he winked at her as well before he addressed their group. “That doesn’t mean I’m here to make this easy, however. So let’s get a move on.”


	20. Waste Not Want Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, our intrepid Kai is off to the Wilds with a dim witted knight, a flirtatious cut purse, and a man who doesn’t want to lead because he is afraid they will get lost and he will lose his pants. I hope you enjoy the latest installment!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> And my love goes to my betas who are great writers in their own rights, and without whom this would never be as much fun, or as well done: Ladyamesindy, Mireli83, and Vveivar. 
> 
> Thank you my readers, for the kudos, and the comments. And I love seeing those numbers go up. I am so blessed.
> 
> *Oh and my shout out to my beta Ladyamesindy, who gave me the homage to the movie Bambi and his friend Flower, for this chapter. I hope you find it as funny as I did.

They walked through the debris slowly. Kai looking at each body one more time, not wanting to take a chance that she missed one, just in case...it was becoming a compulsion. She made her way just beyond the last of the wreckage, and the last body lying near the crumbling wall of some of the ruins dotting the Wilds in various places. 

She was just about to continue on following the wall when a flash of white caught her eye. It was a bloom, white as the moon, but with a scarlet center the color of blood. Darker spots of crimson speckled the inside. It rose from a stiff stem with the bloom resting from it like a trumpet. The perfume was like honey.

“That flower...white with a red center. The kennel master at Ostagar was asking about those.” Daveth’s voice came over her shoulder as he too bent down to look.

“Why did he want them? Do you know?” Kai glanced behind her catching Daveth’s amber gaze and cocky grin.

“The kennel master said this flower can help dogs that get sick from biting the darkspawn.” Daveth shrugged, then his eyes got wide. Kai turned her attention back to the flower.  
Apparently, the flower hosted another less fragrant “blossom” in the form of a black and white striped little animal. She motioned for Daveth to back away, as she began to do so... slowly, as the skunk’s bright black eyes fastened on them both. Kai and Daveth made it a few feet walking backwards when the creature began to stamp its feet, a warning before the tail would be raised and pointed in their direction with distressing and smelly results. 

She had reason to know that the smell alone would linger for weeks, even months, when a childhood friend found themselves on the receiving end of the “perfume” this particular flower gave off. No amount of baths would rid them of the malingering fog that would surround them should they be sprayed.

They made it back to Alistair and Jory who stopped to look in the wagon of the priest, Jogby. Alistair looked up startled, his visage mirroring her own, “What is the matter? It can’t be darkspawn. Were you attacked? Was it the Chasind?”

Kai couldn’t help herself, she started to laugh, “No, no Chasind with a sword; rather a skunk with tail ready to be aimed. Darkspawn would smell better than what will come from that animal’s hind end.”

Alistair gave her a lopsided smile, “Wel-ll, I wouldn’t go that far, but I am very glad you and Daveth got away unscathed, otherwise it would have made for interesting sleeping arrangements in camp.”

Kai grinned at him and looked at Daveth, “I think we’ll just leave that flower alone and look for others for the kennel master, no?”

Daveth grinned. “You are as wise as you are beautiful,” he said giving her a slight bow.

 

Kai snorted, but it was Alistair’s comment that had her laughing (and for Ser Jory to have his usual confused look), “Something we can agree on, my sticky-fingered charge. Though I would watch how far you go, Kai is liable to drown you in one of these conveniently placed ponds.” He shot Kai that lopsided grin, “Let’s move on shall we? Um, away from our little odorous friend.”

Kai nodded and grinned, leading the way around past the flower and its fragrant friend, across a stretch of land that wound between two dank and swampy ponds. It led them along a narrow passage of rocky dirt, with the pond to the right of them breaking against the stony hill towering over them. 

Kai thought she saw a tent. Her first thought was of course, of Fergus. It could be his camp! She was about to go forward to see if her brother and his group were the ones bivouacked in the glade before them when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. It was Alistair’s gauntlet covered hand resting on her leathers with a gentle but firm pressure. 

She could have easily removed herself from his grip, but she was too shocked to do so. His eyes had a glowing white foggy film that covered the entirety of the eye and floated upwards like smoke from the corners. 

Neither Daveth, nor Jory saw it as they were behind Alistair. He caught her startled look, “Darkspawn, Kai, straight ahead.” He nodded towards the tents, “If there are darkspawn, there are no humans alive.”

Kai nodded, with one quick glance at Alistair’s eyes, she cocked an eyebrow. He blushed charmingly and shrugged, “I can’t...”

Kai grinned, “Yeah, you can’t talk about it just yet. Interesting early warning signal though.” Kai directed Daveth to nock his bow while she nocked her own. They continued forward cautiously bringing more of the camp into view. She could see strange spiky totems made of wood and scraps of leather, or cloth. Definitely not human made. Kai jerked her head at the camp and asked Alistair, “So, how smart, or dumb are these things anyway?”

Alistair shrugged, “When there isn’t an archdemon involved, not very. With one in the mix, well, they seem to get slightly smarter. Though the ones to really watch for are the alphas. They’ll be the ones with more elaborate armor, and they can use rudimentary words.”

“You mean like that nasty fellow over there?” Kai pointed out one in a horned helmet, whose armor and weapons seemed a cut above his fellow nasties. 

Alistair looked where she was pointing, “Hm, good guess.”

“So as the smartest of the bunch, he dies first? That should make taking the others out a simpler task, yes? 

He grinned at her, “That is the idea.” Alistair’s shoulders raised and he leaned in and whispered, “I have only been in a few battles with them myself. Remember I’m new to this too, but best not to mention that part to Ser Jory.” 

Kai stifled a snort, and nodded. She motioned Daveth to come stand in the shadow of the rocky hill next to her while she pointed out their target. She looked over her shoulder at Alistair and Ser Jory who had their swords drawn and ready as they hung back. 

She and Daveth sighted, took aim, and let their arrows fly in tandem. Kai’s arrow hit the alpha in the eye, while Daveth’s bolt hit the creature in the throat below the corner of the jaw below where an ear would be on a human. Its milky pale eye, opened wide before gurgled in rage and ripped both arrows in a fountain of cruor. It turned its mangled face towards them and grunted at two more darkspawn standing next to it, then pointing at Kai and Daveth. 

She looked at Daveth who shrugged and said, “Well it seems we got their attention.” 

Kai rolled her eyes and nocked another arrow, aiming for the alpha once more. Sod it, these things were tough! Kai huffed into her own head. Her thinking still held that if they took out the smarter leader, any others might be easier to deal with. Since the target was moving, aiming for the creature’s other eye would more than likely be a miss. She aimed for the larger target, the torso, which was covered in a primitive metal armor. The arrow landed in the larger opening between the pauldron and the cuirass. The alpha screamed but kept coming. 

Kai waited until it was almost on top of her before she dropped the bow and drew her sword and dagger. Daveth followed suit, nimbly twirling two sharp daggers in his fingers. The alpha let out a screech as it ran at Kai, whom the monster had chosen as the target for its ire, she dropped into a crouch putting her weight on the balls of her feet in anticipation of the creature’s first move. 

Instead of the vibrating smack of metal on metal she expected, the darkspawn alpha sailed backwards as if it met a stone wall, its momentum forward changed to a swift change in course backwards.She snuck a look over her shoulder to find Alistair with the Cousland shield raised, as he rushed toward the stunned darkspawn. She was even more grateful that she had given him the metal shield to replace the wooden one he had been carrying. 

Since the ex-templar seemed to know how to fight and appeared to have things well in hand, she turned her attention towards Ser Jory. The genlock was squealing in dismay as the knight seemed to have things under control on his end as well, a very long and sharply pointed end. Kai admired Jory’s moves. He might not be the brightest candle in the candelabra, but he certainly knew how to wield a sword. Kai watched him execute a spinning maneuver that took the short darkspawn’s grinning head off of its stumpy shoulders and sent it flying. Before the head even hit the ground he was assisting Alistair with the hurlock alpha. 

That left Daveth who was circling with the second genlock. Daveth, a rogue like herself, did better with attacks from behind. Kai figured to help him with that. She sliced the stumpy little creature across from shoulder to shoulder with the sword then jabbing it in the back where the kidneys would be on a dwarf (this particular darkspawn being dwarf sized). It emitted a high pitched squeal of pain and anger before turning towards its newest foe. 

She and the genlock danced, exchanging swipes with their bladed weapons giving Daveth the chance to land blows from behind, before the creature turned towards the cutpurse. Between the two of them the darkspawn’s movements became sluggish as it bled from multiple wounds. Eventually, Kai was able to execute a roundhouse kick and with a slice of her sword in a back hand motion removing the genlock’s head. 

Kai took a moment to assess the battlefield and the battle. “Okay, I have a plan.”

Daveth shot her a cocky grin, “Is it a cunning plan?”

She wrinkled her nose at the thief, “Yes, in a way. That took too long. Daveth, you pair with Ser Jory.” She turned and addressed the knight, “Jory, Daveth and I work our abilities best when we can rain blows while the foe is distracted. You and Alistair can keep their attention while Daveth and I work our magic.”

Jory looked befuddled so Daveth attempted to help, “What she’s saying mate, is that rogues do it from behind.”

Alistair let out a groan and pinched the bridge of his nose, but she could see his lips twitching as he suppressed a grin. As for herself, she couldn’t help but giggle, which turned into full laughs when the cutpurse turned to her, “If only Jory was as pretty as you, then fighting with him would be more fun.” Daveth shrugged and winked at her, “Oh well, we do what we must. Isn’t the Grey Warden motto?”

“Not exactly, but close enough.” Alistair flashed Kai a grin. Alistair’s eyes still smoked, indicating there were still darkspawn nearby. 

Daveth shot Alistair a look, “Well that little visual quirk comes in handy, now don’t it mate?” He nodded his head towards Alistair’s eyes. 

“Yes, well, it is one of the warnings we get.” Alistair blushed, “And since it is, we had best clear out the rest of this group before we search the camp.” Alistair reached into the pouch at his waist and withdrew the smaller leather bag that Kai had seen Duncan give him at Ostagar. “But before we do, there is one task we can accomplish first.” Again the bag clanked as the glass vials inside clapped together. He swept an arm at the darkspawn corpses, “Shall we?” He opened the bag and handed out the vials, one to each of them. 

Kai bent to the alpha putting the vial to one of the wounds.The black oil that poured out smelled of every imaginable foulness. On the inside--unfortunately fouler still--the blood seemed to hum, a dull, throbbing vibration that set her teeth on edge. It was this combination of sensations that nearly made her retch.

“Wait!” Kai turned her head to see Alistair grabbing Daveth’s arm and stopping him from gathering blood. She watched the ex-templar bend down and sniff at the genlock lying on the ground. It was the one she and Daveth danced with together. “Did either one of you use poison on your blades?” Daveth nodded. Alistair sighed, “Well then we can’t use this one. We have two samples we need. Lets draw in the rest and then we can get the rest of the blood we need.”

Kai grinned at him and nodded, “I think Daveth and I can use the shadows, maybe draw them to us one or two at a time? ou did say that without their leader they tend to be a little thick.” She walked over and grabbed her bow from where she had dropped it. She motioned Daveth to follow her once more. 

They stuck to the shadows keeping their backs to the hill as they crept forwards. Kai motioned for Daveth to stop. She motioned with her fingers to her eyes and towards the camp, signaling to have the cutpurse scan one side. She then took the remaining side, scanning the tents along the water’s edge.

There was one genlock, to her right. She looked to Daveth who held up three fingers before changing it to two, then placing his flat palm at his own height to indicate two of the three were hurlocks. She nodded and pointed towards the the two hurlocks, holding up two fingers before tapping her bow and raising her eyebrow. Daveth grinned and nodded in agreement.

They crept back towards Alistair and Jory and nocked their bows. Their two targets came running forwards while the genlocks stayed where they were. The battle went quicker now that the rogues were paired with the warriors. Kai thought she might actually be getting a feel for these creatures and their fighting style, which without the alpha to guide them, seemed slap dash at best. It seemed Alistair was right. That was until the air wavered before her and as if from smoke, and a genlock wearing a spiky helmet with a half face mask and leather armor, appeared before her dual wielding a set of wicked, crude, black-bladed daggers. 

The daggers may have looked primitive, but they were sharp and effective. Kai stopped helping Alistair with his hurlock to concentrate on the rogue before her, as one nasty cut through her leather cuirass was enough to let her know that the creature was simple of mind, but deadly with the blades it carried. It would not do to underestimate these tough monsters, not if the cut stinging from the sweat of her exertions was any indication. 

They pulled the remaining genlocks from the camp. With no other surprise guests to their little party, they were able to dispatch the rest with minimum effort. The new pairings worked well, provided Alistair didn’t knock down their target with his shield as he seemed want to do. It did make doing backstabbing maneuvers more difficult for Kai. Lucky for her, Alistair was brighter than Ser Jory, and he caught that knocking them backwards was not helpful unless their attention appeared to be turning towards her. 

By the time the last darkspawn went down, she and the ex-templar seemed to have developed into an effective working team. She was surprised at how comfortable she felt around him personally, and as a fighting duo. They just seemed to fit together, like a hand in a well-worn glove. 

Before she could muse more on this, Daveth began going over the bodies looking for things they could use or sell. Ser Jory opened his mouth to chastise her fellow rogue for looting corpses, when the cutpurse gave a triumphant ‘ha’ and held up some gemstones. Kai shot Jory a grin and began helping search the dead darkspawn for easily carried and sell-able items. 

She had just stood up when Alistair reached out and ran a finger along the cut in the leather the rogue darkspawn had made. She reached out and their hands touched. They looked at each other their eyes widening simultaneously. She felt her own flush answer the one creeping up Alistair’s neck to cover his own cheeks. Kai looked down quickly. 

It was Daveth’s comment that made her flush even more, “Well, aren’t you two cute together?” 

Kai rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose at him, “I am going to check out the camp. When you’re done being funny, maybe you can actually make yourself useful.” Daveth just chuckled at her.

Kai stood looking at the camp. The darkspawn apparently had no use for tents, as the canvas material either collapsed where poles had toppled or swung loose in shreds as if torn by angry claws. Barrels that might have carried food supplies lay broken. The camp looked much like a child staged a temper tantrum with its toys. 

One positive thing for Kai, the camp wasn’t big enough for a scouting party of men. And it wasn’t set up the way soldiers would lay out a camp. It wasn’t Fergus’ after all. She and the others rummaged through the debris. Daveth again looking for things to sell, Kai to make certain that there was no sign of her brother (she just couldn’t leave it no matter that the camp appeared civilian what if he passed through). 

She found one chest laying on its side, locked. It appeared to have been hurled in a rage, probably due to a darkspawn’s inability to undo the bolt. Kai didn’t have that problem and used the picks she stored in her boot. Soon she had an audience as she moved the pins to the lock mechanism of the chest, giving a triumphant little cry as the latch clicked and she swung the lid open. 

Daveth grinned at her, “Well, well, will you never cease to surprise me? I certainly hope not.” 

Kai grinned and rolled her eyes at him. Alistair snorted, “I wonder, how closely I should watch both of you.”

She couldn’t resist, she leaned in and whispered in Alistair’s ear letting her breath tickle it, “You could watch me...more closely.”

He blushed a brilliant shade of red which made her laugh, and she reached into the chest, pulling out items and handing them to Daveth. Her fingers brushed what felt like the leather cover of a book and she grabbed it pulling it out. She stood up and walked away to stand and thumb through the book while Daveth continued to look through the chest.

It turned out to be the field journal of the man who had penned the letter they found on the corpse in the pond (presumably his son Jogby). It contained prayers to the Maker, entries about the Wilds (plants, animals, the Chasind). There was even mention of meals and stomach complaints due to the water perhaps. It seemed pretty mundane until one entry caught her eye:

The Chasind barbarians are nothing if not clever. They have hidden markers and signs in the arrangements of stones and rubble along the paths of the Wilds. In this way, they mark trails, note places of interest, and even give warnings in a way outsiders cannot understand. Interestingly, these markers look indistinguishable from a regular pile of stones.

I have dedicated my time to deciphering these signs, and I believe I am close to a breakthrough. The trail markers seem to point to a horde or a location used for secret storage among the Chasind. I have only found a portion of the message however. I think if I could complete the message, find all of the trail markers, I can find this cache and see what treasures the Chasind have to hide.

I have found one such marker near this camp, under a fallen tree leaning against the ruins. Each marker seems to point to one or two others.

I hear rumours that a darkspawn horde is coming. I hope I can find this treasure before it's too late!

Kai felt breath on her shoulder and she turned her head to see Daveth reading over her shoulder. “Hidden treasure, then? Hey, I think I saw a pile of stones with some twigs over on the hill when we passed by scouting the camp.” The cutpurse turned on his heel and walked back toward the hill they had used as cover while she and the others followed. He climbed up the slope and stood pointing, “Yes, here it is!” 

Kai bent down to look at what Daveth pointed out. She saw a pile of stones, that looked haphazard, if you didn’t know what to look for. She stood, “The journal says there is another close to the camp, near that fallen tree by the ruins. Let’s go see.” She walked back down the hill and to the felled tree. There she saw it: another pile of stones almost indistinguishable from nature’s own dumping of rubble by rain or receding water. Now that she knew what to look for, it seemed obvious. She pointed to the pile, “Keep your eyes peeled for these signs then. We might get lucky and find this Chasind treasure, that is if the Chasind didn’t take it with them.” She pointed at the camp, “I think we should take one more look around the camp, then we can be on our way.”

They returned to the site, and after helping Daveth to pack what little they found that could bring some coin for the Grey, she was about to suggest they move on; but something was off, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Then it struck her. The wood laid out in the fire pit bore no scorch marks or ash, nor did the ground beneath it, yet the camp looked used despite the destruction. 

Who made a fire pit but didn’t use it? She knelt down and removed the wood from the ring of stones, placing it to the side. Taking one of the rocks from the border of stones, she started to dig. Her suspicions were immediately confirmed when the dirt gave way easily, as if it had already been moved once. The metallic “thack” of the stone hitting what was buried beneath told her she had come to her prize.

“Well, well, despite being a noble, you certainly have the heart of a thief.” Daveth chuckled behind her, “I think I’m in love.” Alistair’s ‘ahem’ behind the rogue made him chuckle, “And I am not the only one I think.”

“Yes, well what did you find Kai?” Alistair’s face was bright pink as he crouched beside her to see what she had found. 

She flashed him a grin and pulled out a small locked metal box. The contents rattled inside of it. Kai pulled out her lock picks and went to work on this lock as she had the one on the chest. There were fewer pins to this hasp so it gave way more quickly. Inside were several gems, an amulet, and a note. The note held the same neat penmanship that the note on Jogby’s person held. It was to someone named Jetta, and professed feelings of love, admiration, and regret followed by the same looping signature that was becoming so familiar. Poor sod, poor unfortunate son, and poor Jetta. Kai shook her head in pity and gently placed all of the contents back in the container before locking it and putting it in her pack. “I know the man wanted to spread the word of the Maker, but really, he and his son could have had better timing.”

Kai stood up, looking the way they’d come, and then back in the direction of the Chasind trail sign and the arches of the old Tevinter ruins, “Well, the only way out is through, is it not?” She grinned, shouldered her pack, swung her bow over her shoulder and started walking further into the Wilds the others following her lead.


	21. Wilder By the Dozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah the Wilds, one of the Tourism Board of Ferelden’s listed must see places. The cold mists, the standing bodies of icy water, the mouldering ruins. Then there’s the wildlife...aggressive wolves, poisonous snakes, demons in piles of rocks and darkspawn around every corner. Who wouldn’t love to take a tour? I hope you enjoy Kai not enjoying the Wilds. : D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware Owns all but what I made up.
> 
> And to my lurkers and readers, thank you too. I must admit the stats on this site are like crack. And it makes me happy to see the graph bar go up and know you are reading. To my reviewers, my deepest thanks. I know lives are busy, it is often just expedient to read and go on to all the wonderful stories out there ( I confess that I have to do this too sometimes), to take the time and write, even a two word review means so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> Blessings!

They walked past the moss covered pillars that bordered the campsite and moved eastward following the body of water to their left as the land to their right rose in craggy hillocks. The deeper into the Wilds the group went the colder and clammier the atmosphere became, as if the air itself was alive and trying to climb down Kai’s throat despite her lungs. 

Alistair yelling her name occurred simultaneous with the sudden arrival of an arrow embedding itself in the dirt next to her foot. She looked up and on a rise of land stood three grinning genlock archers. It was while she was doing the head count that she caught movement out of the corner of her eye; a huge hurlock hurtling down the hill towards her at breakneck speed brandishing a shield and a wicked spiky black metal sword, its mouth open in a roar of fetid breath and black pointed fangs. The creature’s pale eyes held malice, and the leathery skin of its bald head bounced what little dim light the Wilds offered off the mouldering pate, and what was becoming a familiar stench of foulness wafted towards her (along with the nasty cocktail that was its breath). All in all, it painted a rather disgusting picture, and time seemed to slow down as her adrenaline kicked in. A part of her mind wanted to giggle and it kept sing-songing in her head, oh here comes Ser Ugly; big, stinky,ugly!

Then time sped back up as her Qun training kicked in and she grabbed the front of the hurlock’s armor and using the momentum of its movement to spin it around using it as a shield. Kai watched the hurlock’s milky eyes get wide, the smell of rot and excrement emanating from its fanged mouth as it screamed in pain with each ‘thunk’ of the arrows the genlocks were firing missing their intended target... her. Her mind was doing the sing-song thing again, Ser Ugly McStinky he was a little hinky; with pale eyes and mouth too wide, was it any wonder the ladies flee his side? Oh poor, poor Ser Ugly McStinky. She stifled a laugh, barely. 

She shoved the hurlock backwards towards the natural stone wall created by the hill the genlocks stood on, continuing to use it as a shield while she put herself below the range of their bows. More thuds followed the others and with each one the hurlock screeched in her ear. 

More arrows flew over her shoulder and her head, she had a moment to worry that there were more darkspawn archers behind them. Kai shot a look over her shoulder to see Daveth was firing missile after missile while Alistair ran forward with his shield in front of him to block any arrows of the darkspawn that might come his way. Jory followed behind using Alistair as his bulwark. 

Alistair was right, they weren’t really bright. The genlocks kept firing at Kai’s meatshield, as if the arrows might go through their fellow and get to her. Just as she was thinking that they were wasting their projectiles, one black metal barbed arrow head punched through the creature’s chest about an inch from her nose. Oka-ay, maybe it wasn’t as dumb as she first thought. 

Kai continued to push the unfortunate hurlock towards the cliff wall, ending with her shoving the creature’s back into the rock driving the arrows further into its torso, mindful of the barbs coming through to the front. It gave one last pitiful screech of dismay before falling forward as she let it go. It twitched once then lay still. 

Kai put her back to the rock wall listening to the noises from above. She heard Alistair’s shield clanging amidst squeals of pain from darkspawn, and the swish of Ser Jory’s great sword, along with the clang of metal blades meeting metal blades.

Apparently, the genlocks had given up on the bows and had drawn bladed weapons. Kai started to move back the way she had come to join them on the cliff above when her hand touched a sturdy vine snaking its way up the rock face. Kai grabbed a hold and began climbing. 

She was about a man’s height off the ground when she felt a hand grab her leg. She looked down to find another hurlock’s pale eyes looking into her own, its open mouth issuing a battle cry. Kai held on tight with her hands, twisted and swung her other heavily booted foot over to smash it into the creature’s face. There was a sickening snap, crunch, and high pitched squeal as the jaw broke beneath the metal armored leather. 

She kicked out once more catching it in the temple, “Oh, do shut up.” Kai told the hurlock. Another nausea-inducing crunch and the hurlock’s howls were silenced, its eyes glazed and the grip on her leg lessened enough for her to yank it away from the leathery taloned fingers holding it. With both feet free she kicked it in the forehead hard, a deep popping coming from the beast’s neck. It sailed backwards and landed on the grass, puffs of mist curling upward, covering the prone form as if being devoured by living smoke. 

She allowed herself to give a small shudder, before continuing to climb the vine towards the top. She reached the edge and found one genlock’s foot. Instinctively, Kai reached out and pulled, sending the badly wounded darkspawn over the edge to join its felled fellow. 

She spared it a look before reaching up to grasp the grass with one hand while holding on to the vine with the other. She almost jerked her arm back, pulling what thought would be another genlock over the edge. She found herself flushing with embarrassment as it was Alistair’s gauntleted hand that held onto her forearm. He grinned that lopsided smile of his and helped to pull her up to stand with he and Jory, “Spending your time climbing while we did the heavy lifting?” 

She wrinkled her nose at him and grinned. “Well, my dance partner decided to play the role of target dummy and I found myself with nothing to do, so I thought I would hang around.”

Alistair chuckled, even Ser Jory got the joke this time. Daveth just grinned as he walked up the hill towards them slinging his bow over his shoulder, stopping long enough to collect still usable arrows from the corpses. “Hangin’ around, my arse. There are three dead beasties down there. Granted, one of them was killed by his own mates, sore lot that; but only because our gorgeous and talented fellow recruit was smart and used him as shield.” Daveth flashed her a saucy leer, but there was respect in his sparkling amber gaze, “She gave one the boot, or rather two boots, to the face, repeatedly. Giving the other one flying lessons was a nice touch. I’m fallin’ more and more in love by the minute.”

Kai rolled her eyes, “Lust is not love, as I told you before. And you were supposed to be targeting and aiming with the that bow of yours, not watching what I was doing.” She stuck out her tongue, “Besides, I told you to watch my back, not my backside.”

Daveth chuckled, which turned into loud guffaws at Alistair’s mortified expression and reddening skin tone. Her fellow rogue leaned in towards her, lowering his voice, “Really, love, if I didn’t think you and our fearless leader weren’t...smitten...with each other, well I would be more than willin’ to watch anything of yours you told me to. You are the most fascinating woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and set about looting the corpses. 

Kai stood in shock for a moment before she flashed a look at Alistair who raised an eyebrow, before flashing Daveth a scowl. Kai laughed softly to herself then walked to the ex-templar. She leaned in and Alistair bent down so she could whisper in his ear, “I would tell you that you are welcome to watch my backside, however, and my frontside. If you wish.”

She gave him a saucy grin of her own and Alistair drew back as if he had been burned, and a blush crept up his neck and flooded his face causing Kai to start laughing...hard. Alistair grinned. “You did that on purpose, just to make me blush, didn’t you? You are a bad, bad, person.”

Kai smiled. “Do you hate me?”

He laughed. “Yes!” Alistair grinned and shook his head before indicating they should help loot the bodies. 

After they finished, they continued on their journey. They followed along the bank of the lake, taking their time. Alistair’s eyes did not turn white and smoky, yet Kai still felt as though they were being watched. It was becoming chronic, and it made the space between her shoulder blades itch; but even when she looked casually, she could see nothing obvious. She thought she caught a glimpse of bright yellow eyes out of the corner of her own, but even with her subtle (or so she assumed) turning to see, what she thought she saw it was not there. 

As Alistair’s eyes didn’t change, she knew the sensation wasn’t darkspawn. She was beginning to wonder if the very trees and stone weren’t alive and filled with malicious glee after all. She felt as though they were being toyed with, and that made her angry. She stopped trying to be subtle and began deliberately looking around. 

She was broken from her concentration on one such overt maneuver when Alistair called to her, “Kai, do you think this could be one of those Chasind signs?” She turned to see Alistair pointing to a small pile of stone beneath a tree near a body of water that held pieces of ruins in it. 

As she and the others walked over to look at the pile of rubble, Alistair drew his sword in a wide arc and a slick ‘shing’ noise. His eyes glowed, tendrils of smoke curling upwards. Kai didn’t hesitate, and neither did Daveth or Jory. They each formed up into their teams in short order, which was just as well, as seconds were all they had. The darkspawn genlock rogues popped up as if from nowhere, just as the other one had at the campsite earlier. 

Kai counted four malicious pointy toothed grins before she was too busy concentrating on slashing and stabbing. Alistair’s shield bashing did come in handy with two opponents. When one would turn its attentions towards her, he simply knocked it to the ground with such a force that Kai could continue to focus on the one target facing Alistair. One sharp dagger to the back of Alistair’s opponent’s neck when it lowered its head gave Kai access to the spine right beneath the skull; and she dispatched it just as the second genlock dizzily heaved itself to its feet once more. 

When two of the darkspawn lay dead, Kai turned to see how Daveth and Jory fared. As Ser Jory had no shield to bash, she figured they might need the help. Kai nodded to Alistair and they turned to see the rogue and knight fighting only one of the genlocks. The other was standing but seemed to be wheezing and moving very slowly. Whenever it got close, Daveth simply shot out a boot and kicked it back. 

Kai ran up to it, hoping to save the cutpurse the trouble this time, and it looked at her with black blood leaking from its mouth, nose, and corners of its eyes. It practically fell on her sword, and she used her foot to kick it off the blade before using the sharp edge in a roundhouse sweep, shearing off its head. The other darkspawn rogue was fast on its way to death as Jory spun, putting his back to it. He slid his great sword through the creature while Daveth did a cross armed swipe across its back. The genlock went face down as the sword was removed with a sickening sucking sound and a grunt of dismay. 

She left the others (particularly Daveth) to loot, and to gather the one vial of blood they still needed from the ones she and Alistair had fought. 

Kai bent over the small pile of stones that Alistair had been pointing to before they were so rudely interrupted. She eyed it closely, and noticed something that all three piles shared. On first glance, anyone might think they were merely nature’s detritus. Very clever of the Chasind, but its purpose was more complex than that. Each pile contained a variety of stones in a range of colors, but their hues were pale in this pile with one exception, one stone placed on west side. The one on the hill held an odd colored stone on the south side of the pile, and that had led to the one under the fallen tree that Rigby found. That pile contained one pointing her to this unobtrusive stack of rock, or rather led them in the direction to find it. 

From the different colored stone in this pile, it indicated the next sign would be in the same direction and in a crescent shape of land near water with ruins? Kai mused in her head. The pile sat next to a subtle arc of grey blue stones, with a rough rock standing upright reminding Kai of one of the many ruined pillars dotting the landscape. The directional stone (as she was starting to think of them) sat on the east side of the grouping and pointed them in the same eastward direction they had been going. She might have dismissed the upright rough rock and the line of bluish stones again for Nature’s detritus; but the sign on the hill had a bent root, or so she thought, next to it. Thinking on it again, Kai realized that the “root” must have been placed there deliberately to mimic the fallen tree. The stones next to the fallen tree near the camp had a small puddle of water with a broken stick next to it. She had thought the puddle was from the proximity to the pond there. She was seeing now that they were all deliberate landmark clues. Complex indeed; genius really, and all around bloody brilliant. 

Kai pointed out the pile and voiced her ideas on how the system worked. Daveth squatted down for a closer look. “Hmm, smart buggers the Chasind, but not as clever as you.” He stood and grinned giving Kai a wink. 

She shook her head and grinned, waving a hand in the direction the sign said to go. “It says that way, which conveniently enough, is the way we were headed.” She laughed again and started walking. Kai found the next sign with even less trouble, now that she had the Chasind’s system figured out.

The fourth pile sat on a small mound of dirt with a twig standing embedded in the mound. At first she thought it was a bush that had died and all that remained was the main stalk, but on closer inspection it was a twig from a tree stuck into the small rise of dirt next to the pebbles; with what looked like a root again, connecting the small hillock of earth to another miniature knoll. The directional stone pointed north. 

So, the next sign would be on a hill, next to a tree, with a log from that hill to another. Kai chuckled to herself, and so back in the direction they gone. The others waited patiently for her to read the sign, and they all followed her without comment when she rounded the edge of the lake keeping it to their left and following it back northward. She wondered for a moment if it bothered Alistair at all, that Jory and Daveth seemed to follow her rather than him. Kai shot a look at Alistair from under her lashes. If anything he seemed to be more at ease with the situation as it was, than when they first left Duncan and left the Wilds. 

They continued on, keeping the lake with the sunken tower ever to their left. They crossed a thin land bridge between the lake on their left and a smaller more shallow pond to their right. She saw the tree bridge between the two swells of land, and at first she thought someone had strung deer up to keep the meat safe from predators. 

As they drew closer her heart began to thud painfully, and her stomach wanted to climb out of her throat. The bodies were so swollen and the smell told her they were days old, that along with the swarm of flies. It was the one corpse wearing armor like her brother’s, along with dark hair, that made Kai’s vision start to go gray. 

Kai was hardly one of those fainting hot house flowers, wilting at the least provocation; but Alistair’s hand on her shoulder told her she had been listing. His voice was soft, “Look at them, poor sods.” Kai shoved his hand off, her cheeks were flaming, and she glared at him before taking off at a jog as he called out behind her, “Hey-y, Kai, I didn’t mean it that way. Hey wait!”


	22. Sticky Handed Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So more fun and games in the Wilds. As a vacation spot, it leaves more and more to be desired. I hope you continue enjoy the journey. I know I am retelling the game we have all played, but hopefully I bring more to it and keep it fresh and interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> And for those of you who do review, THANK YOU! I love your input, and I never know when I am going to get an idea from something you may say. I appreciate you taking the time, really I do. : ) And a my thanks to those of you who read and lurk too. Really, you make my heart just want to burst with happiness.
> 
> Thank you to my betas, I couldn't do it without you.

Kai barely registered Alistair speaking to her, his voice receded like the tide on the Waking Sea. She had only one thought: cut those men down and see if one of them was her brother. Don’t be Fergus, don’t be Fergus, don’t be Fergus kept echoing in her head like some mad metronome. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and the skin of her scalp tingled painfully. 

With such a personal inner cacophony going on, she was surprised that she heard her fellow rogue’s voice as he chastised Alistair. “Nice going there, mate. Tell me, how do you walk with your foot in your mouth like that?”

A part of her mind that seemed to be watching everything from a distance wanted to giggle uncontrollably as she made her way beneath the dangling feet of the dead men above her. The stench of decay made her stomach lurch upward as if it wanted to escape the confines of her ribcage, while the buzz of the flies drowned out all other sounds. The insects covered the bodies in a malicious black cloud. Maker, there are so many of them! 

Kai’s feet pushed her onwards as if they had a mind of their own. A part of her dreaded what she was doing, yet she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, stop. 

She turned left and climbed the hillock that sloped steeply upwards. The hill was sharp and narrow, abutting the lake they had traveled around hours before. She could see the sunken ruin in it from her vantage point as she continued to climb towards her goal. 

She made it to the log “bridge” just as the others arrived below her. Kai took a deep breath and carefully stepped out onto the rough bark, testing the tree gingerly to see if it would hold her weight as well as those of the three corpses. Alistair called up to her, “Kai! Come back down here! You’ll fall and break your neck!” She ignored him as it seemed sturdy enough, so she continued to make her way to the first coil of rope. She heard the templar mutter, “If she falls, Duncan is going to feed me to the archdemon.”

“What in the Maker’s name is she doing?” Jory’s befuddled voice drifted up to her just as she drew one of her daggers and applied the blade to the thick fibers girding the log.

“I wouldn’t stand there, mate, if I were you.” Daveth grabbed Ser Jory’s arm and tugged the knight out from under the corpse Kai was attempting to free from its constraints. The last strand of the rope gave way with a dull squeak, dropping its burden to the ground below. The cadaver landed with a ‘whoof’ of air as gases were expelled as rotting flesh met unyielding ground. 

Either Kai was becoming immune to the smell or she was far too focused on her task. Her fellow travelers were not so fortunate, if the gagging noises emanating from below were any indication. She sawed through the next round of rope and proceeded onward until all the corpses lay on the ground. 

She brushed flies away from her face, the insects confused by the change of their abodes sought other places to land. She was about to turn around slowly when the sunlight (or what went for sunlight in this gloomy place) glinted off a pile of stones near the tree on the other knoll; the next Chasind sign, she was sure of it. She also noticed what she had failed to see before, so fixed on the corpses as she was. It was a large, empty wooden cage. Kai didn’t see any darkspawn around it, though the rogues were able to hide; surely they would have shown themselves before now. 

She turned and started to make her way back across the trunk when Alistair called to her, “Kai, I’ll catch you. Please don’t walk across that log, I don’t want you to fall. Please?” His voice held genuine concern and she couldn’t help but take pity on him; especially, with the look on his face reminding her so much of Argus’s when she had told the marbari to stay behind in Ostagar. 

Kai felt herself softening. Blast! What was it about the man? She nodded at him and eased herself down to sit, the rough bark scraping the leather leggings she wore as she moved forward and dropped down. 

The sensation of falling ended as strong hands and arms caught her. Kai found herself looking into golden amber eyes as her hands were on his shoulders, his big hands wrapped around her waist just above her hips, their faces only inches away from each other. 

For a moment the world seemed to disappear and they were the only ones in existence. Their breathing in tandem. Kai’s heart was racing, she thought from the adrenaline rush of the short plummet, but it showed no signs of slowing to normal, if anything it was speeding up. 

It was Daveth’s loud mock cough that brought the world rushing back in. She watched the red flush creeping up Alistair’s neck. If the heat she felt rising to her own face was any indication, her own skin was following suit. Weren’t they just a fine pair? 

Alistair stood her on her feet blushing all the way to his hair. Daveth chuckled, “A bit sticky-handed there, aren’t you mate?” Alistair’s hands quickly left her sides as if she were a hot coal. He looked down at his feet mumbling something that sounded like ‘smart arsed cutpurse’, which had Kai biting her lip to keep from laughing. 

Alistair looked up and caught her expression, he remained an endearing shade of pink, but he gave her that lopsided smile that made her heart start fluttering again. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier, Kai, I wasn’t thinking.” He said it softly and the pink deepened, but he looked her in the eyes. Her father always told her that one should always make eye contact so the offended party knew it was sincere. It struck her then how much her father would have liked Alistair, and that gave her a painful wrenching twist to her heart. She smiled and nodded. Her brother would like Alistair too, come to that.

Fergus! Kai spun around to look at the corpses lying in skewed positions on the ground. Only one had caught her attention. Her hands were cold and clammy and her breath came out in hitches as she walked towards the corpse with dark hair and armor like her brother’s. She clenched her hands into fists so hard the knuckles popped. Kai took a deep breath and swallowed hard before she knelt down. 

The corpse was swollen, the skin a putrescent yellow. The sockets were black holes devoid of eyes; the nose was gone as well. The ravens hadn’t wasted any time. She kept shooing flies away, and maggots crawled everywhere. She couldn’t tell if it was Fergus from the puffed and decimated face. She gingerly turned the body over, pulling the collar of the hauberk down looking for the birthmark on the upper part of her brother’s shoulder. It was a brown smudge that made Kai think of a slightly lopsided sea star from the Waking Sea. Oren bore...had borne (she corrected herself) the same mark. 

Maker! Memories, memories everywhere and not one that wouldn’t bring pain and loss with it. Kai closed her eyes, squeezing them shut until she saw stars burst on on the underside of her eyelids. 

It was Alistair’s hand on her shoulder and Jory’s exasperated voice that snapped her back to the present. “What in the Maker’s name is she doing now? And why is it taking so long? I want to complete our mission and get out of this place. Standing around only makes us a target for more of those monsters!” Jory whined. 

“Shut it, mate. She’s checking to see if this is her brother, so you can spare her a few sodding minutes.” Daveth’s gruff voice addressed the knight before she felt his hand on her other shoulder and he addressed her, “Take your time, love. Don’t mind mister antsy pants there.”

The pressure from Alistair’s hand increased, “Kai, is it...is it him? Your brother?”

Kai forced herself to look, the skin was yellow but no brown star-shaped spot. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She shook her head, “No, it isn’t him.” 

Alistair’s hand squeezed her shoulder tighter before releasing, and Daveth’s hand gave her a little shake before doing the same. She stood giving the poor unfortunate soldiers one last look. She wondered if they had been with her brother out here. There was nothing recognizable to link them to Highever; but if they were men from Highever and part of Fergus’s scouting party... Kai chose not to think about it, or she might drive herself insane.

“So which way now? I really think we should move on, I don’t like all this standing around.” Jory ran a hand over his shorn head. 

 

Daveth and Alistair shot the knight a nasty look which Jory took no notice of. Before either one of them could start something with the dim witted man Kai broke in, “Well, we could start by going around and climbing the opposite side of this hill here. I think I saw the next Chasind sign.” 

“Well then let’s get a move on then, the sooner we get out of here the better!” Jory walked away skirting the hillock heading north.

Kai ran to catch up, Alistair and Daveth following closely behind her, “Ser Jory wait!” She grabbed the knight’s arm just as they cleared the slope of the hill to their right. Jory turned, his beady eyes wide as he looked behind her at Alistair. Kai turned to see, and found Alistair with his eyes white and smoking. Kai shook her head, turning back to the startled knight, “You left before I could tell you the rest of what I saw. There is a big empty cage on the hill as well, and I doubt humans put it there.” She grinned at Alistair, “And from Alistair’s oogy eye trick, he agrees. So perhaps a little more caution is in order, don’t you agree ser knight?”

Any reply from Jory was interrupted by Alistair, “Kai!” Alistair’s sword ‘shinged’ in unison with roar of the darkspawn swarming over the hill towards them. 

Kai grabbed the oncoming hurlock and using her Qun martial arts used the creature’s momentum and ‘threw’ it towards Alistair, who impaled it on his sword while Daveth stabbed it from behind with his poisoned daggers. Another hurlock followed the first along with several genlocks. 

Kai gave the second fellow the same treatment, swinging him towards Ser Jory this time. Daveth spun and struck one genlock with a blade before helping the knight. Alistair swung the hurlock using his sword to do so, letting the momentum slide if off of the blade. She watched as he turned with the sword not missing a beat, and sliced the closest genlock’s head off, sending it sailing, where it hit the one behind it in the chest with a sick meaty sound. The force of the cranial projectile elicited squeals of dismay as the genlock was knocked back into its fellow right behind it causing both to topple to the ground of the hill and slide on the fog slicked grass. Kai took advantage of their indisposed position to plant one boot firmly in the throat of one with a sick crunching noise before using that same foot to kick the gurgling genlock down the hill to the others of her group. 

The second genlock, sensing how things were going screeched and flipped over on its belly scrabbling for purchase. It presented her with the perfect target as a rogue. Kai used her daggers on the creature’s exposed back. The keening got louder before it flipped over once more before kicking out at her ankle. Kai leapt up to avoid having her leg swept out from under her, which normally would have worked if the ground were not steeply sloped and slippery like ice on the lake at Highever in winter. Kai found the world suddenly went upside down and she found herself looking at the watery sky. 

The view was quickly replaced by a wicked grimace full of black needle teeth and fetid air. The breath was knocked out of her as the small but dense genlock leapt onto her chest. She just barely managed to raise the Cousland sword up to block the nasty black-bladed dagger headed for her throat. The genlock growled in anger clutching her torso with its legs. The maneuver put her ribs in a crushing grip causing her bones to burn in agony while the air in her lungs expelled out in painful spurts. Her vision was going gray around the edges, while black pinpoints blossomed in her view like black flowers. 

She thought she might pass out and save Duncan the trouble of the Joining. Andraste’s flaming knickers, it would probably save both him, Alistair, and the Grey in general from the trouble that was Kaidana Cousland. The detached part of her wanted to giggle even as her very life was being squeezed out and the blade crept closer to her throat

Just as she thought the gray was going to go to total black, the world came back in a rush after a loud nasty thump. Her lungs, freed from the pressure, greedily sucked in air. Kai kicked out and rolled away, scrabbling to get to her feet. When she finally was able to rise, she saw Alistair bringing the edge of his metal shield down on the skull of the genlock with a sickening crunch. She watched the darkspawn’s body twitch as the ex-templar ran his sword through its chest. 

“You all right, love?” Kai felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to find Daveth looking at her with concern in his amber eyes.

“Yes, I thought for a moment I wouldn’t make the Joining ritual after all.” She grinned and gave his hand a squeeze. He returned her smile, released her shoulder, and grabbed Jory to enlist the knight’s aid in looting the corpses. 

Alistair came to stand next to her, now that the genlock was dispatched. Kai was doing an assessment of possible injury. No ribs felt broken, just badly bruised. Kai looked up, Alistair’s face showed unguarded concern as he ran a hand across the leather. He caught her watching him and blushed adorably again, his expression a mixture of guilt and misery, “I am so sorry Kai, I’m supposed to be watching out for you, keeping them off of you.”

Kai grabbed one of his hands, giving it a squeeze, “Hey now, no worries. I’m fine, I just had the wind knocked out of me. Nothing’s broken, the breath on that thing was the worst part.” She joked with him, hoping to lighten his mood. “Besides, from the looks of ‘Mr. Nasty’, I would say he got the worse end of the deal.” She motioned towards the genlock whose head, even from this distance, looked decidedly cockeyed, “I say you did your job admirably, the genlock might agree if he wasn’t little preoccupied with being dead.” 

She was delighted when he laughed and nodded. He blushed more furiously as he lifted her hand, giving it a quick brush with his lips before releasing it and turning to help loot. Kai could only stand there heat rising in her own cheeks while her fingers tingled where his skin had touched hers.

“You’ll catch flies that way, love.” Daveth grinned and placed a finger under her chin closing her mouth. He gave her a saucy wink and only laughed when she gave him an indignant scowl. 

While they looted she climbed the knoll to find the Chasind sign she saw while on the felled tree. She bypassed the cage and knelt down next to the living tree that grew next to the latest pile of stones. After careful examination, Kai figured that the next sign was southeast from this location, near a body of water with a ruin in the middle of it. Again, it would be next to a tree. 

“They sure have thing for putting these next to trees.” Alistair’s summation echoed her own thoughts. 

She startled slightly as she had not heard him come up behind her, she was really going to have to watch that. It would not do for her to let her guard down and get skewered. Duncan would not be amused. She grinned up at him, “So it appears to be telling us.” 

Alistair looked up at the sky which had darkened, “I think we need to find a place to camp. I don’t look forward to staying the night here, but with all the fighting we aren’t close to where the map tells us the Grey Warden scrolls are. And I don’t relish stumbling around in the dark in this place.” 

She nodded, “I don’t either. Since the next sign is in that direction,” She waved a hand to the southeast, “Shall we continue slightly north to go around this pond and look for a place to camp while we do? Once we get around it we should be able to head southeast.” 

He gave her that lopsided grin of his and helped her rise to her feet. She decided that it was the sudden changed in position that had her heart racing a little, not his smile or his touch, it just couldn’t be that. She followed him back down the hill. 

Jory and Daveth finished looting the corpses, and Kai explained their plan, which thrilled Ser Jory not one bit. After some whining on the knight’s part they started up the hill keeping the pond to their right. As the slope steepened, Kai heard a noises come from just over the small rise in the slope. As they crested it she saw one hurlock fighting a pack of wolves while a genlock archer fired arrows keeping the pack from jumping the hurlock completely and taking it down. From what she could see the hurlock was losing the fight, death from a thousand bites. Kai, gestured for Jory to take out the archer. She and Jory unslung their own bows and fired at the hurlock who screeched in pain as arrows landed in its back. The wolves leapt upon it and the darkspawn disappeared in a sea of growling fur.

“You do realize the wolves will come for us next, don’t you?” Alistair said.

“Hopefully, some of them will be too occupied with finishing off the hurlock. We take care of those that come for us, then the rest.” Kai flashed him a grin. 

She and Daveth began hitting wolves with arrows until they came too close, when they did Alistair knocked them aside for Ser Jory to stab with his sword. The battle didn’t last long, and the knoll was littered with dead wolves and two dead darkspawn. It also appeared they found a spot to camp, an open air ruin sitting at the top of the hill easily defensible and backed by water. They weren’t the only ones to have the idea to use it as such either. 

On the stone floor of what Kai thought might have been an atrium when it was built lay the bodies of two men. One in soldier’s garb (not Fergus, thank the Maker), the other in Chantry robes. There was another locked chest, and various barrels of supplies for this makeshift camp. Apparently Rigby had stocked this area as a rest point and the darkspawn must have attacked just recently as the supplies were untouched. 

A search of the body in the robes yielded another dwarven cylinder wrapped in leather, sealed shut with a bit of parchment in it. It confirmed what Kai suspected, that they had indeed found Rigby. The parchment bore the same neat penmanship and familiar handwriting as before, along with the looping signature. It read:

This is the last will and testament of Rigby the missionary, proud speaker of the Maker's word. I have come to the Wilds to speak the Chant, but I fear I will die here at the hands of the darkspawn.

I leave all that I came with to my wife, Jetta. Should the reader of this note feel charitable, I have buried a sealed lockbox in our camp, nestled in a Tevinter ruin in the western reaches of the Wilds. It is my will that this lockbox finds my wife in Redcliffe, and that it is still sealed shut when it reaches her.

To my wife and my son, I apologize that my work has taken me from you, but I know that I die in service to the Maker.

Rigby

“Well, so much for it staying hidden and sealed, eh, love?” Daveth gave her a saucy wink, “Maybe his wife won’t notice. You know, she doesn’t know about the will or the box...” 

Kai gave him snort, “Now you know why I am the one carrying it and not you. And no she won’t notice, not unless she is familiar with scratches around a keyhole from lock picks. I locked it back, and I intend to see that she gets it after the battle is over.” 

“All right, love, don’t get your knickers in a twist!” Daveth chuckled as she wrinkled her nose at him. “I don’t look forward to telling this, Jetta, that she lost both husband and son in one go.”

Kai nodded and patted him on the shoulder. After a brief discussion they dragged the darkpawn off to the side, as for the wolves they skinned them and Daveth hung the pelts from the log the soldiers had been tied to. The soldiers, and Rigby they put into a pile and having found oil for cooking in one of the barrels, they managed to give them a proper Fereldan burial. After cleaning up the stone floor they tied canvas sheets from the pillars to give them some shelter should it rain. Bedrolls were laid out, and firewood gathered. With these chores completed, they settled in to wait out the night in the Wilds.


	23. Romancing the Wilds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we find Kai and group camping out overnight in the Wilds, how...charming. Thanks for reading along. : D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> To all of my readers, and lurkers thank you too! I love seeing the stats bars go up because of you. And to you who take the time out of your busy lives to review, it means more than I can say that you spend it on me. My sincerest gratitude to you all.
> 
> Blessings!

Night in the Wilds made Kai feel as though they had been thrown under a dark, wet, and very cold blanket. Even the moon preferred to stay hidden behind black clouds, peeking out occasionally before ducking from view. Shadows cast by the fire seemed blacker, denser, and like the fog here, a living thing. The cold and odious damp would have been more easily borne if they had a bigger fire; but as Alistair pointed out (when Ser Jory started to whine) that a bigger fire might draw darkspawn to them. 

There was one bright side to the evening, they had fresh meat for their meal in the form of one large and very poisonous snake. Daveth shot the reptile as it wended its way over Jory’s leg, barely missing...well barely missing making the knight a soprano in the Redcliffe Chantry choir. 

Kai suppressed a giggle that was threatening to bubble up as she picked the meat from the delicate rib bones to pop in her mouth. The memory of Jory’s beady little eyes widening to the size of hens’ eggs as Daveth’s arrow pierced the snake pinning it to the ground beneath it next to the knight’s inner thigh was priceless. The knight’s mouth mirrored his eyes, shaped into a large “o” that only widened as Kai pulled the rest of the snake’s twitching body from behind Jory inch by inch. 

She estimated the, Korcari Silver Mouthed Asp, as the serpent turned out to be, lay at about ten feet long. That was a conservative guess, it might have been longer. Long or short it tasted good.

Daveth having lived near the Wilds as a child knew the snake on sight and how deadly it was. Kai had known from a favorite childhood book on the animals of Thedas she and her brother loved to pour over as it had colored illustrations. That beloved old tome failed to mention how really tasty the asp was. 

“Tastes like chicken.” Alistair garbled around a mouthful before swallowing, “Anyone mind if I take that last bit there?” He pointed to the spit where the last foot of meat still dripped grease into the fire with the occasional popping hiss. 

When they all indicated that Alistair was welcome to it, the ex-templar reached out with enthusiasm for the spit. Kai couldn’t help but grin. Alistair’s appetite was ravenous, to say the least. Kai pressed her lips together to keep from laughing as grease dripped down his chin. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought the Grey never fed him. 

Having finished her own portion, she licked her fingers clean as best she could before rubbing them gently on her leather clad legs. Her mother would have been appalled, Kai could hear her voice now, “Really, darling you are no Chasind barbarian!” It was so clear, it caused her heart to clutch painfully in her chest and her vision to go blurry. 

She cast about for something to distract herself. Since Alistair was busy dismantling the rest of the asp she looked at her other two companions. Daveth was watching her closely with a raised eyebrow, “You alright there, love?” 

She nodded giving him a half grimace, half grin. Kai noticed Alistair had stopped with his cheek bulging and another piece of meat halfway to his mouth, even Jory was squinting at her. Kai jumped to the first topic she could think of to distract them, “So, Ser Jory, you said you were from Redcliffe?” 

The knight looked confused for a moment, casting a look at Daveth, then her, before answering, ““I grew up in Redcliffe, but I was living in Highever, a city off the northern coast.” Jory gave her a wistful homesick smile, “Have you traveled there?”

Bugger! Kai mentally cursed herself. She would bring up one of the topics she wished to avoid, her home, which might lead to talk about her family. Bugger, bugger, bugger! She cursed in her own head once more, “I...hail from there.”

She would have sworn Daveth could read her mind as he flashed her a sassy grin. She wrinkled her nose at him. Alistair looked between them, and Jory seemed to miss the exchange (as usual). The knight’s face suddenly flashed a brilliant smile at Kai as if he suddenly caught the most elusive and brilliant of ideas, “I thought you looked familiar, I do know you!”

Kai shook her hand emphatically and waved her hands, which Ser Jory completely ignored, “My Lady Cousland!”

Kai closed her eyes and breathed out a long breath sigh of air. Sod it!

Her eyes snapped open when Daveth’s amused voice broke her brief silence, “Lady, huh?” She snorted and his grin only broadened, “I knew you were a noble, but not that particular noble. One step away from the crown itself. Oh ho, now I’m really smitten.”

Kai gave him an nasty glare, before turning back to Jory, “I gave that up when Highever was attacked by Arl Howe, my family was slaughtered, and Duncan and I had to flee in the dead of night. I never cared for that title, and when I take the Joining I will be ‘Lady’ no more.” She gave each man around the fire a pointed look, “If any of you call me ‘my lady’ again, I will slit you from navel to nose and put you on a spit like the snake, understand?” 

Daveth gave her a sly smile, “ I understand my...” He chuckled when Kai squinted her eyes at him, but sobered immediately, “Sorry about your family, love.” 

Ali blushed and wiped his finger off on his armor before patting her arm. he gave them a rueful smile before waving her hands at the bewildered knight, “Please continue, Ser Jory.”

The befuddled knight just shook his head in confusion, “I was in Arl Eamon’s retinue when he attended King Maric’s funeral. It was at Highever that I met my Helena.” Jory’s face took on a dreamy look, “I was smitten. She has the most beautiful eyes, my Helena. For years I found any excuse to return there. We married a year ago.” 

Kai remembered Helena from Highever as a curly, golden haired blond with a roses and cream complexion, and big blue eyes. Helena looked like a doll, and acted as though her head were filled with stuffing like one. Kai remembered Helena as the child who wanted to play the “damsel in distress” waiting to be rescued by her valiant knight. Kai gave a mental snort, Helena and Jory were perfect for each other.

Ser Jory’s face took on, what Nan had referred to as the ‘moon calf’ look, “Arl Eamon gave me leave to serve Highever, but I was attempting to persuade Helena to return to Redcliffe with me. I took her there to show her my childhood home, to help in swaying her. At least, I was until Duncan recruited me.” The knight shrugged, “Last month, Duncan visited Redcliffe while I was there with my Helena, and the Arl held a tournament there in his honor. I won the grand melee.” 

Kai couldn’t help but poke fun at the obviously besotted knight, “So you abandoned her?” 

As she expected, her joke went right over Jory’s head, his voice became indignant, “Never! I will return to her once my duty is done and the Blight defeated.” He pounded a fist into his open palm for emphasis, “It was hard to leave my wife. We married only a year ago, and she is heavy with child now.” Again his face became wistful, “But...Ferelden needs my blade, I shall not falter.”

Kai shot Alistair a look before addressing the knight once more, “So, what do you think of Duncan?”

Jory looked thoughtful for a moment (and led Kai to wonder uncharitably if that was a new sensation for their chivalrous companion), “He has a seemingly impossible task, with a scarce handful of Grey Wardens. Yet he does not complain or flinch from his duty.” Ser Jory shrugged, “We should find those documents as soon as we can. Although if they were so important, why leave them out here?” 

Alistair sighed, “As you heard Duncan say, they always expected to return for them. Sometimes plans don’t get to be implemented quite the way we intended. The important thing is that we are here now and we will fetch them from this place.” 

Kai broke in before the knight could rejoinder, “So...Daveth, you said you are familiar with the Wilds.” 

Daveth gave her a saucy wink, “Nice change of topic there, love. Yeah, I grew up in a village ‘bout a day’s trip to the east. Little blot you wouldn’t even find on a map.” The cutpurse gave a sardonic chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders, “I haven’t been back in years. I struck out for the city as soon as I could outrun my pa. He had a heavy hand and a short temper. My mum was a gentle soul who found herself on the receiving end of his ire as much as the rest of us. I’ve been in Denerim for what...six years now? Never liked it much, but there’s more purses there than anywhere else.” He shrugged with a rueful grin.

Kai grinned, “So, you’re a rogue and a cutpurse.”

Daveth laughed, “...and a pickpocket thank you very much. Or was, anyhow.” 

“‘Still’, more like.” Alistair’s voice mumbled.

The rogue flashed the ex-templar a wide grin, “Who’d ever guess I’d end up a Grey Warden?”

“Well you might not have been if you hadn’t tried to steal from Duncan,” Alistair snorted.

“True enough, the Grey Wardens certainly weren’t looking for me, but I found them. With the parade of soldiers leaving Denerim for Ostagar, and all the crowds...it was too much to resist. I cut Duncan’s purse while he was standing in a crowd.” Daveth snickered, “He grabbed my wrist, but I squirmed out and bolted. The old bugger....” He flashed Alistair a look, “The Commander can run, but the garrison caught me first.” 

Daveth took a stick and poked at the fire before adding more wood. He gave Kai a saucy, come-hither wink and grin, “I’m a wanted man in Denerim, you see, and not just by the ladies.” Kai snorted and rolled her eyes as he continued, “They were going to string me up right there.” 

“Wait, this is the part where you told me Duncan conscripted you to keep you from the noose, yes?” Kai laughed and shook her head at the cutpurse.

“Aya, Duncan stopped them. Invoked the Right of Conscription, he did. I gave the garrison the finger while I was walking away.” Daveth shrugged with a bashful look on his face, “Don’t know why Duncan wants someone like me. But he says finesse is important, and that I’m fast with a blade...”

“Especially on unsuspecting purse strings?” Kai asked sweetly eliciting deep throated laugh from him.

“You bet your boots I am. Besides, it beats getting strung up.” Daveth raised an eyebrow.

Kai sniggled, “I think Duncan picked you for your skill with a blade, and because you reminded him of himself.”

“Daveth, reminds Duncan of himself?” Alistair protested, “I hardly think so.”

“Oh, you didn’t see Duncan ‘borrow’ some blankets and cloaks for us while we were on the road.” At Alistair’s appalled look she hurried on, “He left money in their place. But he has the skills of a thief.” Kai smiled at the ex-templar, “And I suspect he knew what Daveth was doing because he himself has experience with alleviating people of their burdensome purses.” She turned back to the cutpurse, “So, what do you think of Duncan?”

“He’s all right for an old bugger.” Daveth gave Alistair a sideways look and continued when he received no recrimination, “He’s faster than he looks too. And I appreciate his saving my neck from being stretched, and his faith in me. Well, you heard the same speech I did. Blood and old treaties. He trusts us all to be here in the Wilds to do what needs to be done, even me. More than my ‘da ever did where I was concerned.”

The way he spoke of his father was both telling, and sad. It made her heart hurt for the abused little boy, and it reminded her of Dairren, which also brought a deep and resonating pain. Maker, when would it ever stop? She looked up from the flames that she hadn’t really been watching, to find all of them looking at her once more. 

Alistair broke in saving her from thinking of something to say. She gave him a grateful smile, “Kai and I will take first watch, Daveth, Ser Jory. You both get some sleep, I’ll wake you in four hours.” He jerked his head towards the bedrolls lying near by.

Daveth and Jory both rose and made their way past Alistair.The cutpurse stopped and bent down to speak to him, “Nicely done mate, order us off to get some shut eye so you can have our delicious fellow recruit all to yourself.” Alistair turned bright red and started to sputter. Daveth only clapped him on the shoulder and laughed, “That’s all right, rank has its privileges.” And with a quick wink at Kai, the rogue joined Jory under the tarps wrapping himself in his bedroll. 

Kai bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at Ali’s indignant and embarrassed expression. She went to fetch her bow and quiver and her pack, and returned to sit next to him with the bow across her legs. 

They sat in companionable silence for some time before there was a rumbling noise. Kai began looking the darkness surrounding them, looking for the source of the sound which repeated itself. Some animal? Darkspawn? She looked at Alistair to see if his eyes were smoking and white. They weren’t, but the ex-templar was blushing while rubbing his stomach. He gave her a chagrined look. 

Kai found herself biting the inside of her cheek to stop the laughter this time, “Really? You ate five feet of a ten foot snake and you’re still hungry?” 

Alistair’s blush deepened only making him look more like a small boy caught stealing cookies from the kitchen. “Yes, well you know what they say about eating reptile, an hour later and you’re hungry again.” 

He laughed with her when she couldn’t hold it in this time, which they quickly stifled with their hands lest they wake their companions. The only problem seemed to be their penchant for starting the giggling fits when they caught each other’s eyes. Finally the giggles wound down to snuffling snorts and the occasional twitter. 

It might have started up again when Alistair’s stomach rumbled once more, if Kai hadn’t remembered the wheel of cheese in her bag. She grabbed her pack pulling out clothing items and piling them on Alistair’s lap. He grunted in surprise then blushed adorably when her night shift landed on top of the pile.

She gave him a saucy grin which caused him to flush harder before she dived back into the pack. Her fingers brushed something soft while brushing against the hard round of cheddar. She pulled both out, handing the cheese to Alistair before she looked at the other item that she held in her hand. She expected to see a roll of socks or maybe some apparel of a more intimate nature with which to embarrass her companion with. 

She was wrong on both counts...oh so wrong. The little stuffed rabbit with pointed felt fangs rested in her hands. Oren’s dire bunny, little black button eyes caught what little light shone from the fire. She had forgotten all about it. Her hands convulsed, squeezing it while she started to shake. 

“Kai, what is it?” Alistair’s big hand clamped onto her shoulder, long fingers wrapping around it. He looked at what she held in her hands. “A childhood toy?” 

Kai gave a bitter laugh, “Yes, just not mine. A childhood cut short.” He looked confused. “It was my...it was my nephew Oren’s toy.” She choked it out.

“Oh Kai, I am so sorry!” She found herself wrapped in his strong arms as they sat side by side. 

Finally the shakes stopped and the tears that threatened dried before they could make an appearance. His cheek rested on her hair, and the warmth he provided was welcome against the chill. She reasoned that it was his radiating heat that made her feel so comfortable, made her not want to move. It was that, and that alone, surely there couldn’t be any other reason for her to want to snuggle closer still. 

She found it so enjoyable that she was starting to doze. That is until the hair on the back of her neck raised. She had that feeling of being watched. The space between her shoulder blades was itching again. She shot a casual look over her and Alistair’s shoulder, both Ser Jory and Daveth were immobile and fast asleep. There were small snoring noise coming from the knight’s bedroll. “Alistair, I am going to nock my bow, and when I give you the signal casually get up and stand as if you are stretching.”

Alistair, nodded and rose when Kai tapped his metal clad shin with the end of the bow. He did as she suggested, placing her clothing on the log they sat on and standing raising his arms above his head. Kai spun around and aimed her bow in the direction she thought the spying was coming from. 

Two great yellow eyes stared at her from a large dark owl sitting in a tree branch on the edge of camp. It was the only tree nearby. She let out a sigh of relief which almost started a giggling fit again. The bird was probably hunting for rodents that were drawn to the fire. She pointed the owl out to Alistair who nodded and grinned. The owl seemed to glare at them both as if it was annoyed at having been discovered, before it unfurled great dappled wings and rose to the air in that silent flight that owls have. 

“Well, that was a fine ‘how do you do’!” Alistair grinned at her, “You’d think we insulted it, letting the mice know where it was.” 

Kai snorted and then chortled. With everything going on, Alistair hadn’t let go of the cheese. Kai pointed to it, then the empty space next to her, “You were planning on sharing that cheddar, weren’t you?” Alistair laughed, and sat back down as she handed him one of her daggers.


	24. Witches Gone Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Kai gets to meet Morrigan and her lovely mother. Hope you enjoy their first meeting. : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> Thank you all for the latest round of kudos! I can't see your names in the editing box. But all of you make my day. And seeing the numbers go up on hits, makes my heart go pitty pat I am so grateful for you all.

Kai wiped the blood and sweat off of her brow. They had, thank the Maker, finally made it to the ruined tower on Alistair’s map and it had not been easy. They woke as the sun rose, or what passed for sun in this foggy, damp, and cold place. They had found both treasures, but not without their obstacles. More extremely aggressive wolves greeted them at the large and worn Tevinter statues near the chest Rigby described. Then she had the privilege of her first encounter with magic wielding darkspawn before the Chasind treasure, something she burned Ali’s ears good over, as she still sported a nasty black scorched mark on her leather armor from the spell when it hit her. Alistair had blushed bright red and explained that it was a hurlock emissary, the darkspawn versions of mages. He looked so mortified and upset she hadn’t had the heart to stay mad long. And after the ashes she found on a corpse called a demon (because she couldn’t resist seeing what would happen despite Alistair’s words of caution), she felt she wasn’t in a position to hold his mistake against him. Especially not after the demon had almost taken Daveth’s head off; it apparently took affront to being peppered with arrows. 

After another round of fighting the seemingly endless throngs of darkspawn, they finally arrived at their destination. “Remind me to come back here on furlough, when the Blight is over.” Daveth winked and gave them all a saucy grin as he finished placing the items looted off the newly made horde corpses.

Kai rolled her eyes and snorted, “Well, it does have plenty going on and I can’t say you would ever get bored. Dead, yes; bored, no.” Daveth chuckled and Kai flashed him a grin, “You are welcome to it, my friend, I think I have had more than enough of this place myself.” She looked at Alistair and Jory. Jory looked as dim as usual, Alistair’s expression was more difficult to read. She waved her arm into the interior of the remains of the once proud tower, “Shall we, gentlemen?” 

Kai drew her daggers, nodding her head at the others to keep their weapons ready until they sussed out the ruins. She walked carefully in, using her rogue and Qun training to keep her footsteps light and quiet in case there were any more creatures or darkspawn should appear. Maker! This place was full to bursting with things; it was more crowded here then Denerim. 

She instructed them to walk in as a group back to back so they could watch in four different directions and improve their chances of seeing any attack. Kai saw what looked to be the pieces of a chest, that like the roof of the tower, had collapsed in on itself; but she insisted they look through the whole of the ruins before separating from the phalanx they were in.

When no attack was forthcoming, Kai nodded to the others and they all started to put their weapons away. Kai still had that feeling of being watched, yet not even a lizard showed itself in the dilapidated heap of stones that littered the balcony they stood on. Still, the space between her shoulder blades practically vibrated with that itch that was so familiar since stepping into the Wilds. She shot a look up to the cloudy sky that served as the roof of the relic now. The only sign of life was a rather large raven floating lazily in circles above them. 

Daveth looked up and nocked an arrow, taking aim. Kai pushed his bow arm down, shaking her head. “We have no need of tonight’s meal. We search what remains of the chest , get the scrolls, and leave. I am not spending another night in this frigid and clammy place if I can help it.” Kai watched the raven as it gave an angry squawk and flew off.

“What’s the matter, love? This place lost its charms already?” Daveth chuckled into her ear as he leaned in close, rubbing his nose gently on the skin of her jaw, “As for me, well I will always look back on this trip fondly.” 

A loud clearing of his throat by Alistair had both Kai and Daveth looking over their shoulders at the ex-templar. “Yes-ss, well you can reminisce later. It is rather hard to miss a place or person until they go away,” This earned Daveth a pointed look which made the rogue smile wider, “or until you leave it.” Kai grinned, she wasn’t sure if Alistair meant leave the Wilds or Daveth. 

She stifled a laugh and walked down the ramp back to the remains of the chest. It looked worse up close. She carefully picked up large pieces of the box and lid removing them and setting them aside. It was as she feared given the state of the casket; there was no sign of any scrolls, not even scraps of parchment. 

Kai rocked back on her heels, biting her lower lip. he did not relish staying in the Wilds longer, let alone trying to search them would be an impossible task. Before she could give way to despair, a smooth and arrogant voice rang out dancing in a slight echo amongst the marble pillars. “Well, well, well. What have we here?” 

Kai spun around to watch one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen slink like a cat down the ramp. What she wore was interesting and left little to the imagination, dark hair was drawn back from exquisitely chiseled cheekbones. She was, for lack of a better word than Kai could come up with, exotic. But it was the woman’s eyes that caught Kai’s attention the most, they were a bright and vivid yellow; and Kai had seen those eyes before. Kai stood and cocked an eyebrow. Oh yes, those eyes peeked out from the underbrush, and in the tree in the form of a great dark owl. And if she had to guess, the raven that had croaked in indignation not a few moments before. 

Kai gave an ironic little chuckle as the woman continued walking towards them, arrogance in her carriage. The woman acted as if she owned and ruled over the place and her continued speech only confirmed it, “Are you a vulture I wonder? Poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned or an intruder come into these darpkspawn filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?” 

Her manner of speech struck Kai as antique and formal, as if the girl had been taught an almost archaic form of Fereldan, and had little social interaction. Anora and the other nobles could take lessons on how to put on royal airs from this one. 

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing, she didn’t know if the woman would take too kindly to mirth of any kind; but she couldn’t resist poking at their visitor, just a little. “I am neither scavenger, nor intruder. The Grey Wardens once owned this tower.” Kai grinned and waved her hands to encompass the whole area. “I didn’t realize that the Wilds were owned, I do hope the rent won’t be too high. Of course I would like to see proof of ownership before I can sign off on the Grey paying back tariffs.” 

The woman tilted her head back, squinting those lovely eyes in annoyance, “‘Tis a tower no longer. The Wilds have obviously claimed this desiccated corpse.” Kai watched pink lips curve into a cool smile, “And as to ownership,” a low chuckle floated on the air, “I own these Wilds because I know them as only one who owns them could. Can you claim the same?”

Kai grinned and shook her head. The woman sniffed, before walking past Kai with her nose in the air slightly. She stopped at the cliff edge, turning to face them all, “I have watched your progress for some time.”

“Yes, I thought I felt eyes upon us.” Kai cocked an eyebrow.

The woman gave her an annoyed ‘tsk’ before continuing, “Where do they go, I wondered, why are they here?” She crossed her arms over a barely concealed bosom, “You have disturbed ashes no one has touched for so long.”

Daveth’s voice broke in, “She’s a Witch of the Wilds I tells ya.”

Intense yellow eyes glared sharply at the rogue, reminding Kai of the way an owl might stare at a mouse, “Witch of the Wilds? Such idle fancies, those legends. Have you no minds of your own?”

Kai was startled when the girl addressed her once more, “You there! Women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.” 

Alistair came to stand behind Kai, “Don’t answer her. She looks Chasind, and that means others may be nearby.”

Their visitor narrowed her eyes at him, her voice dripped with sarcasm, “Oh, you fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?”

Kai looked over her shoulder to see Alistair’s eyes narrow in return, his voice pitched low, “Yes, swooping is...ba-ad.” 

Kai thought she might break a rib trying not to laugh at their exchange while tilting her head and considering for a moment, “I am Kai, pleasure to meet you.”

“Now that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the Wilds.” The corner of the girl’s rose colored lips raised slightly, “You may call me Morrigan.”

“Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest, something that is here no longer?”

Kai felt Alistair move closer, “Here no longer? You stole them, didn’t you? You’re some kind of...sneaky...witch-thief!” Kai put a calming hand on his arm causing him to blush and Morrigan to arch one dark eyebrow at them.

“How very eloquent. How does one steal from dead men, I wonder?” Morrigan gave Alistair a smug look.

“Quite easily it seems. Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them.”Alistair glared at her.

Morrigan waved her hands at Alistair as if he was an annoying insect, “I will not, for ‘twas not I who removed them. Invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish...” Morrigan’s nose went into the air, “I am not threatened.” 

Kai broke in before Alistair could retort, “Then, may I ask who took them?”

Morrigan looked at Kai with a slight smile, “‘Twas my mother, in fact.”

Kai tilted her head, an impish grin on her lips, “Your...mother?”

Morrigan’s eyes narrowed again, “Yes, my mother. Did you assume I spawned from a log perhaps?”

Alistair mumbled under his breath, “A thieving, weird-talking log.” Kai heard a muffled chuckle from behind her, Daveth she assumed, since Ser Jory seemed oblivious to even basic humor. Kai bit her lip and looked away.

Apparently he had not spoken low enough for it to get past Morrigan, “Not all in the Wilds are monsters. Flowers grow here, as well as toads. If you wish, I will take you to my mother. ‘Tis not far from here, and you may ask her for your papers, if you like.” 

Alistair turned to Kai pitching his voice low for Kai’s ears only, “We should get those treaties, but I dislike this...Morrigan’s sudden appearance. It’s too convenient.”

Kai patted his arm, nodding, “I agree it is convenient, maybe too convenient, she is the one I have felt watching us; but we don’t really have a choice do we? We need those treaties.” Alistair blushed and nodded back. Kai went on, “If it makes you feel better, I would like to know more about her mother so we have an idea of what we are getting into, okay?” Again he nodded, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. 

Kai turned back to Morrigan who held an amused expression on her face at their exchange. “Would you mind if I asked more about your mother? After all, she has our treaties, and I don’t want to offend her, if I can avoid it.”

Morrigan seemed to find this extremely amusing as lovely low laughter rang out for a moment before she licked her lips like a cat near a broken crockery that held milk. “She prefers her privacy, but I imagine she will be curious enough why you are here. Come, see for yourself.”

“May I ask, why are you so interested in helping us?” Kai tilted her head.

Morrigan’s voice took on an annoyed tone, “Why not? I do not meet many people here. Are you all so mistrustful?”

Kai felt Daveth come up close on her other side whispering in her ear, the breath tickling her skin, “She and her mother are witches! They’ll turn us into toads they will!”

Kai spoke to Morrigan once more, “Please, answer honestly are you a Witch of the Wilds? The ones from the legend? I’m afraid one of my companion has heard stories as a child.”

Morrigan snorted in derision, “Have I been dishonest? Some call us witches, yes, but purely out of superstition.” 

Alistair’s voice took on a tone Kai didn’t recognize, “You know what the Circle of Magi is, don’t you? The Circle requires an accounting of all mages. That is the law of the land and the Chantry.” 

Ah, his templar voice! Kai grasped his arm again, shaking her head at him, “You are a templar no more Alistair-”

Anything else Kai might have been about to say was lost as Morrigan interrupted, “If you wish, tell your Chantry about me, go ahead. I have nothing to fear from priests.” The witch tilted her chin up while crossing her arms over her chest once more. 

Kai gave Alistair a pointed look, “We need those treaties, not to hunt down supposed rogue magic users for the Maker be damned Chantry and their enforcers. A group I remind you that you are no longer a part of.” Alistair blushed harder, shuffling his feet and looking down.

Kai patted his arm again and grinned at Morrigan, “Will you take us to your mother?”

Morrigan gave a small smile, “There is a sensible request. I like you.”

Alistair spoke to Kai, “I’d be careful.” He pitched his voice higher in imitation of a female, “First it’s ‘I like you...’” His fist smacked into his open hand, “But then ‘zap’! frog time.”

Daveth’s worried voice came from her other side, “She’ll put us in the pot she will. Just you watch!”

“If the pot’s warmer than this forest, it’d be a nice change.” Ser Jory’s voice came from beside Daveth. 

Alistair whispered in her ear, “Oh, Jory made a funny! Who knew?” 

Kai burst out laughing, “Boys, really!”

Morrigan who watched the whole exchange with a cool look, waved her hands down a trail that Kai had not noticed before. “Follow me then, if it pleases you.” The witch turned elegantly on her heel and walked down the path that wound its way behind the ruins and the lake behind it. 

They followed Morrigan carefully treading the narrow path and across a ruined bridge to a dilapidated multi-story wooden hut that looked like a patchwork of whatever wood and scraps could be found to build it. A large fire blazed before it, larger than they had dared build themselves. 

Morrigan made her way past the fire to stand behind a grey haired old woman whose dull brown, patched, and dirty dress faded into the building behind her. “Greetings, Mother. I bring before you four Grey Wardens who...”

The old woman spoke as Morrigan stopped behind her mother, “I see them, girl. Hmmm, much as I expected.”

Alistair snorted, “Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?”

Now that Kai could was closer, the rags Morrigan’s mother wore looked to be a style Kai had not seen since the portraits of her great grandmother’s time. And while everything on her was grey or brown reminding Kai of dust and ash, the eyes were intense, sharp, bright and predatory. Something crawled behind those eyes. 

No, this was no frail old woman. She made Kai’s hackles rise. She returned the woman’s brief glance as boldly as she could before those cold eyes turned back to Alistair. “You are required to do nothing, least of all believe.” The voice was low, husky, and like Morrigan’s seemed to be a more archaic way of speaking Fereldan, maybe the same era as the dress? “Shut one’s eyes tight or open one’s arms wide...either way, one’s a fool!”

“She’s a witch I tell you! We shouldn’t be talking to her!” Daveth’s voice rose an octave. Morrigan’s mother definitely made him nervous. Kai suspected the rogue of having sharpened survival skills from dodging the blows of an abusive father and living on the streets to survive. She was inclined to agree with him, the woman gave her the heebee jeebies.

“Quiet, Daveth! If she’s really a witch, do you want to make her mad?” Even Ser Jory, dim as a post as he was, seemed to have a sense of ‘not right’ that emanated from the woman.

“There’s a smart lad. Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will.” Morrigan’s mother waved a hand then walked to stand before Kai.

She found those intense eyes locked on hers, Kai returned the stare while the woman addressed her, “And what of you? Does your woman’s mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as these boys do?”

Kai shot a quick look at Alistair, Jory, and Daveth before replying, “I’m not sure what to believe.”

This statement garnered Kai a slight smile, “A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies. Be always aware...or is it oblivious? I can never remember.” 

Kai cocked an eyebrow. Whatever the ‘it’ that was off about this woman, Kai suspected being senile or completely insane was not one of them. They were being led, but into what? This woman sent her daughter to spy on them, sent her to fetch them. Now here the woman stood acting powerful and and doddering at the same time. Kai’s unease grew, along with her curiosity. Playing along seemed to be the better strategy. 

Morrigan’s mother’s look became more intense. It took every bit of discipline Kai had not to squirm and to keep her gaze steady while being spoken to, “So much about you is uncertain...and yet I believe. Do I? Why it seems I do!”

Alistair’s voice piped up, “So this is a dreaded witch of the Wilds?”

The woman’s gaze shot over Kai’s shoulder to Alistair, “Witch of the Wilds, eh?” She clasped her hands in front of her with a smile on her face, “Morrigan must have told you that. She fancies such tales, though she would never admit it! Oh, how she dances under the moon!” 

Morrigan’s sigh echoed across the clearing as she pulled long fingers across her forehead, “They did not come to listen to your wild tales, mother.”

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing at the witch’s exasperated tone of voice. Morrigan’s mother addressed all of them, “True, they came for their treaties, yes?” There was a pointed look at Alistair, “And before you start barking, your precious seal wore off long ago.” Kai watched as the witch went to the cabin door, opened it and grabbed something briefly before shutting the door and returning to them, handing Kai a dwarven metal carrying case, the larger version of the small ones Kai had on her person. “I protected these.”

Alistair’s voice sputtered as Kai moved the leather strap out the way to open the lid, “You...!” Kai pulled out the thick roll of parchment holding them up for Alistair to see, “Oh, you protected them?” Kai grinned and shook her head as she carefully put the roll back into the safety of the container. 

Morrigan’s mother raised her chin at Alistair, “And why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight’s threat is greater than they realize!” Kai snuck a look, the witch’s eyes had gone dark, the pupil dilating until the the color of the iris all but disappeared. It was like looking into an fathomless abyss and whatever darkness swam in those eyes surfaced instead just of hinting at its presence. 

It was the combination of the witch and her words, Kai felt goosebumps crawl along her skin, “What do you mean the threat is greater than they realize?”

“Either the threat is more or they realize less. Or perhaps the threat is nothing! Or perhaps they realize nothing!” The woman threw back her head and gave a husky laugh. “Oh, do not mind me, I’m just an old woman with a penchant for moldy parchments!” This was followed by more husky laughter.

Again it struck Kai that this woman was trying to appear more innocuous than she was. Just how dangerous she really was, Kai couldn’t say; but warning bells were ringing in her head louder than the bells at the Chantry in Denerim calling people to mass. “Thank you for returning them.” 

“Such manners! Always in the last place you look. Like stockings!” More husky laughter followed, “Oh don’t mind me. You have what you came for!” 

“Time for you to go, then.” Morrigan’s voice sounded relieved as she gave Kai an intense and searching look. 

“Do not be ridiculous, girl! These are your guests!” The old woman’s gaze never left Kai’s, and Kai didn’t want to look away as it might seem a sign of weakness.

“Oh very well. I will show you out of the woods. Follow me.” Morrigan’s exasperated voice broke the standoff, and Kai nodded once to the old woman before following Morrigan’s retreating form back the way they had come. She refrained from looking back...barely.


	25. Yippee!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Well, home in a manner of speaking. Kai and company are back at Ostagar and ready for the Joining. Thanks for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all, except what I made up. : )
> 
> And all of you lurkers you rock! To those who reviewed, a special thank you. I appreciate your kind words, your support, and the time you took. Mere words cannot say how wonderful you all are. I am truly blessed with great fans. : )
> 
> Blessings!

Morrigan escorted them to the start of the footpath leading up to the gate entering Ostagar’s ruins. The witch waved a dismissive hand and tsk’d when Kai offered her a warm meal as repayment for her assistance. 

Kai shook her head and grinned at the memory of their last view of Morrigan, who had stuck up her nose in response to Alistair’s reaction to Kai’s invitation, before ‘melting’ (for lack of a better word that Kai could come up with) into the form of a white wolf with molten gold eyes. The wolf stared at Kai for long moment before turning and running back into the Wilds, disappearing into the underbrush.

Kai was interrupted from her inner musings on Morrigan, the treaties, and most of all Morrigan’s very creepy mother, as they entered the gate and Kai was set upon by a very exuberant Argus. Kai managed to calm the mabari after allowing herself to be covered in wet doggy kisses and give him scratches behind his ears. 

“That’s quite a tongue you have there, mate.” Daveth winked at the dog, “Maybe your mistress would like how I lick too? She seems to like a little oral tickling?” This earned the rogue a low growl and a slight peeling of lips from fangs from Argus. Daveth threw up his hands in surrender, “Easy there, no need to get your hackles raised. It was just a thought.” 

Kai caught a knowing look between Alistair and the dog. Alistair gave the mabari a nod of his head before slipping Argus what looked like jerked meat from his pack. Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing. She nodded for them to move on. 

They made a quick stop at the kennels. Kai found the kennel master and handed over all of the white blooms she had managed to gather. The man took them with such a look of relief and gratitude that it made Kai’s heart squeeze tight; she knew how she would feel if Argus were to become poisoned and run mad. 

The man confessed that he wasn’t sure if the blooms would work, but that it worth a try. He then tried to offer a reward. Kai waved the man off from counting coins, “A reward isn’t necessary.”

Daveth began to protest but anything he might have said was lost in an sudden exhalation of air as Kai’s elbow connected with his midriff. From the corner of her mouth she addressed the rogue, “Consider it your payment for me taking the blame for your stealing earlier.” 

Kai gave the kennel master a sweet smile, “I hope that will be enough. Do you think the elixir would prevent the dogs from getting tainted? Not just after the fact?” 

“I’m not sure, milady.” The kennel master’s face, which bore a confused look from her exchange with Daveth, shrugged, “Why do you ask?” 

“I was hoping that you might give some to the leader of the Ash Warriors, for his and his companion's dogs.” Kai waved a hand back towards the tents near the gates, “Their leader was kind enough to give me Kaddis for Argus, here.” Kai reached down and patted the mabari’s big head as he woofed in agreement. “I would gladly pay you.”

“Think nothing of it, milady. I would take nothing from you. I will gladly give elixir to Vadis and his warriors. Truth be told, I had hoped to gather enough flowers for elixir for their hounds should they take ill.” The kennel master reached into a pouch at his waist, “This vial is for you and your hound. May it keep him safe.” The man grasped Kai’s forearm in a warriors grasp giving her a small little bow of his head, “Maker watch over you, Grey Warden.”

“Maker watch over you and your hounds, Master.” Kai returned his grasp.

Kai returned the nod before setting off for the space occupying Duncan’s bonfire. Kai looked up to see Duncan watching their approach, and despite his attempt to keep his face immobile, Kai caught a fleeting look of relief. She flashed him a saucy grin, “Did you miss us?”

Duncan rolled his eyes, but a small smile played along his lips, “And if I said no, young lady?”

“I would say you are lying, dear Duncan.” Kai winked. “Well, here we are, safe and sound, or at least mostly sound.”

“Half frozen, more like.” Ser Jory’s voice sounded petulant as the knight walked over to the gigantic bonfire holding his hands out towards the flames. Daveth rolled his eyes while chuckling and taking Kai and Alistair’s packs and walking to the Grey Warden tent. 

Duncan looked at Jory, cocking an eyebrow before addressing Kai and Alistair, “So, you return from the Wilds. Have you been successful? Were the treaties there?”

“Well, not where the map said, per se. But, yes, ‘we’ found them, in a manner of speaking.” Kai resisted the urge to squirm like a naughty child as she handed him the metal tube she had kept slung over her shoulder.

Duncan gave her a long look before opening the metal container, “Good... I think. I’ve had the Circle mages preparing. They require only one more ingredient.” Duncan looked up from the rolls of parchment he had removed from the iron tube’s confines. Alistair handed Duncan the now filled vials with darkspawn blood from the leather pouch at his waist. Duncan took them with an encouraging smile at the young Warden, “We can begin the Joining immediately.”

“I’d like to get something hot and filling inside of her first.” Alistair looked at Kai. 

“Wouldn’t that require somewhere more private, my lad, then out here in the open at our campfire?” Duncan looked at Alistair with a smile playing along his lips before he winked saucily at Kai who had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. 

Alistair merely looked confused for a moment, before catching the rather cheeky joke and blushing bright crimson and stammering, “I--that wasn’t--I didn’t mean---! Oh ha, very ha, both of you!”

Kai and Duncan both burst out laughing this time, before Kai sobered immediately, “That’s okay, though I can’t say the...offer? Isn’t tempting.” This made Alistair turn even redder, though he gave a small, if embarrassed smile. Kai continued, “However, maybe we should tell Duncan about Morrigan and her mother?” Kai winked at Alistair while she stuck her tongue in her cheek to keep from giggling, “After all, they made you, Ser Jory, and Daveth jump out of your skins.”

Alistair wrinkled his nose at her, whispering to Kai out of the corner of his mouth, “You are a bad, bad person.” He turned to Duncan, “There was a woman at the ruined tower who said she had been watching us all along, and her mother had the scrolls. They were both very...odd.”

Duncan flashed a curious look, first to Kai then Alistair, “Where they Wilder folk?”

Alistair shook his head, “I don’t think so. They both might be apostates, mages hiding from the Chantry. Though only the one called Morrigan did any magic. It could be her mother is not, but protecting her daughter.” 

Duncan shook his head at the ex-Templar while clapping a fatherly hand on his shoulder, “I know you were once trained as a Templar, Alistair, but Chantry business is not ours. We have the scrolls; let us focus on the Joining.” 

Duncan shot a look at Kai, which she returned with a raised eyebrow, “Now will you tell me what this ritual is about?”

Duncan kept his features immobile, but Kai saw the same slight crimping around his eyes that he had when her father refused to let her try out to be a Warden. It was that same minute look of fear that flashed so quickly if she hadn’t been watching him closely, she would have missed it. He looked her in the eye, “I will not lie; we Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are.” He looked over his shoulder briefly at Ser Jory before pitching his voice lower, “Fate may decree that you pay your price now rather than later.”

Kai gave him a cynical smile, “Is that why the Joining is so secret?”

Duncan’s dark skin darkened further and he looked...abashed? “If only such secrecy were unnecessary and all understood the necessity of such sacrifice. Sadly, that may never be so.”

Kai felt a pang of pity and understanding, to know that the Joining could kill the very people who might be best at being Grey Wardens; to make them taint themselves with poisonous blood of monsters and potentially sacrifice their lives should they not survive the poison. It struck her how difficult a task Duncan had as commander. How each life must weigh on him, it certainly would her. She smiled and touched his arm, “I have no problem facing what is to come, Duncan. We Couslands...”

“Always do your duty?” He finished for her patting her hand that was resting on his arm, covering her hand with his, and giving it a squeeze. “Then let us begin.” Duncan turned to Alistair, “Alistair, take them to the old temple.”

Daveth and Jory apparently walked up during part of the conversation, though Kai had no idea how much they overheard. 

Daveth grinned, “Let’s go then. I’m anxious to see this Joining now.” 

Jory’s face bore the look of a frightened rat, his voice bellowed with bravado, “I agree. Let’s have it done.”

Duncan nodded at them. He walked with them towards the temple, parting from them at the magi’s section of the camp, while they continued up the ramp past the quartermaster turning right and climbing the ramp to the open columned area that Kai had met Alistair in the day before. 

The area, empty then, now bore a stone table that seemed to be from the ruins, along with a small round wooden table set further back. Kai stood as casually as she could taking a look around. The stars shone brightly but in the distance there were dark clouds of a storm front rolling in. She saw flickers of lightning followed by distant reverberations of thunder.

Kai counted the time between the flashes and the thunder’s rumbling peals the way her brother taught her, and their father taught him, to gauge when the storm might make its appearance. The storm was miles off yet, she estimated it would be overhead in a matter of a couple of hours at the most. 

Kai leaned against one of the pillars watching the cloud bank blot out the stars like a great black blanket. She shivered and a thought struck her, the simple irony of which, almost had her expelling a bark of cynical laughter. Here she was, about to drink the blood of monsters along with who, but the Maker (and the mages), knew what else. Her stomach clenched painfully and a chill settled around her heart. This wasn’t a battle she could fight with her sword, her dagger, or her Qun moves. She wouldn’t be falling in battle defending her beloveds, or her home. She wouldn’t be slipping into the Fade because of her own despair and exhaustion; Kai absently rubbed the leather vambrace resting on the still pink scar on her wrist. No, she was putting her life on the line drinking a poisonous cocktail. This really could mean her death, and after she had discovered she liked being alive. 

She stole a look at Alistair from underneath her lashes as the ex-Templar stood leaning against a wall, fidgeting with nerves himself. Yes, she liked being alive, very much. Panic started to set in, making her want to run Kai caught what she was doing to herself, and before her body could send her completely into ‘flight’ mode, she began deep breathing exercises taught to her by the Qun priest so long ago. A soothing calm penetrated the panic and ripped at it until only the tattered remnants of it remained, and these she blew away, like the wind that was picking up as the storm drew closer. 

The energy of the tempest in the distance was matched by Ser Jory, who paced back and forth in front of the stone table, his movements were jerky and agitated. Daveth walked over to stand with Kai as he watched the knight, his head turning from side to side as the man pounded a path before them. 

“Easy there, mate, you’ll dig a trench with all that stompin’ about.”

Jory stopped short and turned to face Daveth and Kai, “The more I hear about this Joining , the less I like it.” 

Ah, so maybe Ser Jory overheard more of her conversation with Duncan than Kai thought. Her gaze swung to her fellow rogue when Daveth answered the knight, “Are you blubbering again?”

“Why all these damned tests?” Jory waved his arms making Kai think of a large and indignant rooster. “Have I not earned my place?” Okay, maybe he hadn’t heard as much of what Duncan told her, or more likely, he was just too dull to understand it.

“Maybe it’s tradition. Maybe they’re just trying to annoy you.” Daveth crossed his arms over his chest.

Kai rolled her eyes before addressing Jory, “Do calm yourself, Ser Jory, really there’s nothing we can do about it now. I swear, Daveth and I are the bravest ones here, and I’m supposed to be the soft noble woman and he is the buggering thief.”

“Oh, buggering? Before the Joining or after? I always knew there was a lusciously naughty minx inside that leather armor.” Daveth leaned in and winked. Kai put a hand on his face and pushed him back while rolling her eyes.

Jory’s voice was pitched into more of a whine, “I only know that my wife is back in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me...it just doesn’t seem fair.”

Daveth groaned before speaking to the knight once more, “Would you have come if they’d warned you? Maybe that’s why they don’t. The Wardens do what they must right?”

Jory’s voice pitched higher, “Including sacrificing us?”

Daveth stepped towards the man, his voice exasperated, “I’d sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the Blight.”

“Daveth makes a good point don’t you think, Ser Jory? And you are a knight after all, sworn to defend and protect. You will just be defending and protecting all of Ferelden.” Kai put a calming hand on Daveth’s shoulder in an attempt to keep him from jumping the man, though why he shouldn’t smack some sense in Jory, she couldn’t say.

Her fellow rogue flashed her a wide grin before addressing Jory once more, “You saw those darkspawn, ser knight. Wouldn’t you die to protect your pretty wife from them?”

“I---” Jory started but Daveth cut him off.

“Maybe, you’ll die. Maybe we’ll all die. If nobody stops the darkspawn, we’ll all die for sure.” Daveth swept his arms to encompass all of them. 

Jory shook his head, his voice quavered, “I’ve just never faced a foe I could not engage with my blade.”

Anything Daveth or Kai might have made to reply to that was interrupted as Duncan walked up the ramp past them carrying a large ornate silver chalice and a glass bottle. He strode purposely to the small wooden table set towards the back of the ruin. He kept his back to them, but Kai assumed he was pouring the contents of the bottle into the chalice. When it took a moment longer than it would just to decant some magical elixir into a goblet, Kai wondered if there wasn’t some extra ingredient the magi weren’t privy to and she didn’t want to hazard a guess as to what it might be; especially as she would be drinking whatever it was, in a matter of moments, if the chalice was any indication. 

When he finished, Duncan turned and walked towards them the large silver chalice held between his two hands before setting it on the edge of the marble table. He addressed them all, “At last we come to the Joining. The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of the darkspawn blood and mastered their taint.”

Kai watched Ser Jory take a step back a look of horror and disgust marring his features, “We’re going to drink the blood of those...creatures?”

Bloody hell, what did Ser Dull-As-A-Stump think they were going to do with it, make pretty pictures? Kai wondered in her own head. Maker, make a miracle and give the man another wheel for the cart that is the man’s brain! Even then the he would be two wheels short of a full wagon.

Her inner musings were interrupted as Duncan continued patiently explaining the Joining, “As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you. This...is the source of our power and our victory.”

Alistair’s voice had Kai swinging her head in his direction, it was the first time he had spoken since they walked from the camp, “Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn.”

Kai smiled at him, and when he smiled back, she could see the worry in his eyes; for her? Oh my! A part of her felt a warm flush, but it was quickly doused by cold, as she knew he was afraid that she would die. She did a quick round of circular breathes before turning to Duncan with an impish grin, “Let’s get on with it then, the darkspawn aren’t going to be standing around holding hands and singing, waiting for us to join the dance now are they?” 

Duncan returned her smile before grasping the chalice once more, holding it before him, “We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been said since the first.”

Duncan looked towards the ex-templar, “Alistair, if you would?”

Alistair nodded straightening his shoulders and putting on a more sober countenance, “Join us brothers and sisters, join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn.” With this Ser Jory’s face became a sickly shade of pale gray looking from Alistair to the goblet. Alistair’s voice continued, “And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you.”

Duncan walked to stand before Daveth holding out the chalice, “Daveth, step forward.” The rogue gave Kai a saucy wink and grinned at Duncan, giving him a mock salute as he took the chalice with both hands and tilted it to his lips briefly before handing it back. 

It took only seconds and Daveth started screaming holding his hands to his face and throat. The screams ended in choking gasps as Daveth looked up, and Kai’s heart beat painfully in her chest; his eyes were glazed and solid white, smoke curling out of the corners like Alistair’s, when darkspawn were nearby. His hands clawed once more at his neck as he fell forward and lay still. 

Kai started to move towards Daveth, to check and see if he lived or no, but Alistair waved her off and bent over the prone body, checking for a pulse.

Duncan looked at Daveth’s still form for a moment, his eyes sad, “I am sorry Daveth.” Duncan turned towards the knight, holding the chalice out before him, “Step forward, Jory.”

Kai watched as Jory began looking around wildly, “But...I have a wife! A child! Had I known...” His pace increased and his beady eyes were so wide Kai thought they would pop out of his skull. Ser Jory’s breath sounded like a blacksmith’s bellows he was breathing so hard. His great sword made a ‘ching’ noise as he drew it from its scabbard as he backed away.

Duncan continued walking towards the knight, goblet held out, “There is no turning back.” 

Jory finally ran out of room to flee as he backed into the stone wall, stopping his movement, “No! 

Duncan sighed, and put the chalice on the stone table once more, not missing a step as he continued walking towards Jory. The knight held out the great sword aggressively, and Duncan drew a curved dagger from the sheath at his waist. He stood before Jory who swung the blade in a long arc at Duncan who parried, sword and dagger clashing metal to metal before they broke apart. Jory swung in a panic which Duncan blocked with his free arm before sticking his dagger between the knight’s ribs in a fountain of blood. 

Kai watched Ser Jory’s face which held a sort of hurt confusion before he collapsed to his knees at Duncan’s feet. Duncan gave the same look as he had her parents in the larder, what seemed a lifetime ago; his voice held the same pained tone, “I am sorry.” The dagger slid out with a sickening sucking sound and more red blood flooded from the wound as Jory collapsed face first into the dirt, a crimson pool quickly forming beneath him. 

Duncan’s shoulders drooped slightly before he turned and fetched the chalice. Kai felt her breath coming in spurts after the exchange, her heart pounding. The panic she felt earlier tried to return, but she pushed it down. She was not afraid of death, so much as she wanted to live; but she made a promise, to her father, to her mother, to Duncan. She was a Cousland, and she would do her duty. Kai took a deep breath and squared her shoulders as Duncan approached her with the chalice. 

Kai shot a look at Alistair as he rose to standing next to Daveth’s still form. His face looked stricken. She gave him her best encouraging smile, which he tried to return without much success. 

Duncan handed the chalice to her, “You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint, for the greater good.”

It was heavy and glowed in the dim light of torches and starlight. It had a series of images embossed into it, one which looked to have a man on a griffin before an army; the next panel showed the man putting a sword through the head of a dragon with beams radiating outward like on a stylized sun. The final panel had the man borne away on a pallet covered in flowers and ribbons, surrounded by people. So killing an archdemon must be tough, the first Warden ever apparently didn’t make it, poor sod. She figured they must have improved the technique by now after four Blights before this one. Kai was willing to bet each panel held a picture of the story of the first Grey Wardens. How appropriate, Kai mused, this could be the beginning of the end for me. 

Kai looked at Alistair who looked as though he was going to be sick, which made want to laugh as she was the one doing the drinking. She gave him a saucy wink, “I don’t suppose the mages made it taste like strawberries now, did they?” She kept her hands from trembling, barely, as she lifted the cold metal to her lips. 

The liquid hit her lips and her instinct was to shut them tight, but the elixir seemed to be a thing alive and it crawled over her lips seeping into her mouth whether she would have it or no. Kai fought instincts which screamed at her to throw the goblet and spit the stuff out, RIGHT NOW! Instead she opened her mouth and took a small mouthful. 

The taste was definitely not strawberries. It tasted the same as the darkspawn it came from: rotten flesh, excrement, vomit, and something else, something even more nasty; a humming sentience that set her teeth on edge. And what else? Ah that after taste of metallic lyrium adding just that right piquant note. She handed the chalice to Duncan before she dropped it.

She didn’t have to swallow really, as the earlier sensation of the volatile crawling inside of her continued as it crept down her throat as if by sly little hands that grabbed at her insides. Now she knew why Daveth grabbed his throat, her hand was doing the same thing as the potion hit her stomach. She watched Alistair back away slightly his face stricken, as if he didn’t want to watch. 

Her stomach clenched and heaved, but the potion was not going to be evicted, she knew that, almost as if it had a mind to read. The humming was getting louder, so much so, she almost couldn’t hear Duncan. Kai watched his mouth as the world was receding fast and it was so damned hard to hear as the humming was becoming a keening wail and her vision was becoming blurry around the edges. “From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden.” 

Yippee! Was her only thought before her vision went completely white and the world disappeared.


	26. How I Learned to Love the Taint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the Joining begin, or as Kai would put it...yippee!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all except for what I made up.
> 
> My gratitude and thanks to those who've left kudos and comments. My appreciation goes to Talleybear, KatWinterdragon, Reflctng Goddess and my anon guests. Thank you all!
> 
> Blessings!

Kai's hand flew to her neck as she grasped her throat; her stomach convulsed and clenched at the invasion of the potion that seemed to be burning its way throughout her whole body. 

She was simultaneously aware of her surroundings while having the experience of being in another time and place. She could hear Alistair and Duncan speaking to each other, but could not understand what they said. 

The effect was heightened by intense pain as it flared from the inside out, exploding behind her eyes in a flash of bright light. Kai realized that the bright light wasn’t just the pain, as she opened her eyes to find the world had disappeared into an empty white void of nothingness. 

The nothingness included sound as she could no longer hear Duncan or Alistair, then the silence was broken by what she thought was the sound of waves lapping on a shore, like the lake at Highever, and she thought she heard her parent’s voices calling to her over the gentle cadence of the water. As there was no sense of direction in this place, she moved in a way that she thought would put her closer to where their voices and the wave sound were emanating from. 

She hadn’t gone far when a strange ‘whooshing’ sound began to drown out her parents. The sound was peculiar, reminding her of a blacksmith’s bellows blowing air on hot coals.Either the sound was magnified in this place (though her mother and father’s voices hadn’t been amplified so much) or the bellows would have to been fit for a mythical giant, such was the strength of sound and it was only getting louder. 

The booming whoosh noise was accompanied by a humming buzz, like the sound of angry bees.It was a sickening vibration that rattled the teeth in her skull. The drone deepened and became a strange voice that was simultaneously terrifying and beautiful. It whispered in her ear, yet she could not understand what it told her. It was both maddening and compelling; much the way hearing a conversation in another room was; hearing the voices but not being able to understand what was actually being said. She only knew that the voice called to her, called to what was inside of her. What was in her blood wanted nothing more than to go to that dreadfully beautiful voice, yet the part of her that remained “Kai” wanted nothing more than to run as far and fast as she could away from the wellspring of that haunting song. 

As if in response to what crawled inside of her, a silhouette appeared in the vast white world. The spot on the non-existent horizon grew larger with the air vibrating with a thunderous gust of wind pushed under great wings, and the sly whispering became louder still, and echoed upon itself. The language was foreign yet familiar. It circled upon itself until it was just a cacophony of seductive hissing whispers.

Just when Kai was tempted to put her hands over her ears, as if it could stop the internal hissing chatter, the world came into focus and she found herself staring at a sinuously long neck covered in black scales that bore a strange oily purple iridescence, topped by a head of spiky protuberances. 

The vast void of white became a virulent green mass of roiling clouds. Kai realized that the dragon was not flying towards her, rather she was being pulled towards it at an alarming pace, and it wasn’t until she was practically on top of it that it seemed to take any notice of her at all. She watched in horror as the spiky head turned her way, swinging slowly on its snake-like neck. 

She knew how a mouse must feel when the hawk dove for it. The great dark head turned with delicate precision putting her nose to nose with it. The scales of the great beast looked diseased, and encrusted with angry looking pustules and raw sores. The skull looked almost skeletal with leathery skin stretched thin over the bones. What looked like thousands of dagger-sharp black teeth were exposed with no gums or skin to cover them, making them appear even more elongated. 

But it was the eyes that made her heart beat even faster. The eyes were milk white with smoke curling upwards. Eyes like Alistair’s were when darkspawn were nearby; but unlike Alistair’s, these eyes were filled with malice and sly cunning. She felt transfixed by those eyes. Then it opened its mouth wide, stretching it wider and wider until it looked as if it could swallow the whole world. The great dragon’s scream echoed her own as Kai tumbled forward into the deep black infinite pit.

Kai found herself slowly coming to, or at least she thought she was, if the pain in her head was any indication. But it was so dark, maybe the storm? Kai grumbled, “Someone light a sodding torch, I can’t see a bloody thing!” 

“It might be because you still have your eyes shut tight, love, but that’s just a guess on my part.” That cheeky voice sounded so familiar, but she had watched him collapse and die...

“Daveth?!” Kai’s eyes flew open to see the stoic face of Duncan, the worried face of Alistair, Argus’s pink tongue, and the saucy grinning face of her fellow rogue.

“You got it in one, darlin’. Apparently that nasty potion didn’t scramble your brains after all.” Daveth stood, arms crossed over his armored chest, with a smile that went from ear to ear. “Though if you feel as hungover as I do, we should at least have a variety of loathsome memories from which to cherish, preferably things we did together, no?”

Kai rolled her eyes and instantly regretted it as it made the world tilt and her stomach roll. Kai thought she heard a snort from Alistair, as he grasped her gently under one arm as Duncan did the same as he spoke to her, she caught the undercurrent of relief, “It is finished. Welcome to the Grey, young lady.” 

Again the world tilted slightly as they brought her to her feet. Alistair’s hand lingered, Kai could feel the heat of it through her leathers. It was arousing and comforting at the same time. 

“I think she can stand without the help there, mate.” Daveth grinned at Alistair, raising an eyebrow at the hand still resting on her arm. 

Alistair blushed and dropped his hand while glaring at Daveth before speaking to her, “Another death. In my Joining we had one die too, it was...horrible. I’m glad you made it.”

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing, as Alistair’s statement didn’t include Daveth. She heard the rogue chuckle behind her, “Yeah, he’s especially glad you made it, love.” 

Alistair’s blush deepened and she caught Duncan’s small smile as if he too was attempting not to laugh. Duncan caught her look and winked with a slight grin, “So, how do you feel, young woman?”

Kai barked out laughter, “How do I feel? Hm, let me think about that for a moment: every muscle in my body hurts, as if I was run over by a fully loaded ale wagon. My head feels two sizes too large and is pounding like I have dwarves swinging hammers in my skull. My tongue feels as though it needs a razor, and the lovely after taste of that concoction you handed me to drink tastes like I drank the contents of the sewer pipes at Highever with a good dose of metal shavings thrown in, thanks to the magic the mages put in it.” Kai patted Argus’s head as he licked her hand and whined, “My stomach feels as if I have ground glass, rocks, and salt in it. I have been passed out for who knows how long, oh, and the lovely side-effect of being a Warden:a musical little hum, which plays constantly in the back of my skull and if I concentrate on it, borders on nauseating. Other than that, I’m just sodding fantastic, thanks for asking.”

Daveth burst out laughing, “Well said, love!” 

“And as for loathsome memories, I have plenty after meeting the archdemon in my dreams; though I don’t know about cherishing them.” Kai snorted, and then became contrite when she saw the look on Duncan and Alistair’s faces, “It’s over, and I’m fine.” 

Alistair’s hand reached out and rubbed her shoulder, “I had terrible dreams after my Joining too.”

“I thought I heard my parents at one point.” Kai cocked an eyebrow at Duncan.

“We thought you weren’t going to...to make it.” Alistair’s voice caught slightly and his hand gripped her shoulder while he looked away. 

Duncan broke in, “Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn, as we all do. That and many other things can be explained in the months to come.”

Alistair gave Duncan a sheepish smile before addressing her once more, “Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining.” He held up a silver chain with a glass vial wrapped and protected within embossed silver filigree. As he handed it to her, what little glass showed through the metal glowed with a black liquid that seemed to crawl up the sides of the glass when it tilted, and seemed to linger before sliding back to be hidden by the metal. Kai took the pendant, and what hummed in her blood seemed to speak to what lay inside the ampule laying in the palm of her hand. Alistair flashed her a smile before handing a duplicate pendant to Daveth and explaining, “We take some of the blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us...of those who didn’t make it this far.” Alistair’s eyes slid toward Ser Jory’s cooling corpse. Kai slipped the chain over her head, tucking the pendant beneath the leather of her armor. 

Duncan’s hand patted her shoulder, “Take some time, both of you. Kai, when you are ready, I’d like you to accompany me to a meeting with the king.”

Kai watched Alistair as he gave Duncan a hurt look. That was curious, Kai cocked an eyebrow, “What kind of meeting?”

Duncan’s face remained set, “The king is discussing strategy for the upcoming battle. I am not sure why he has requested your presence.” Duncan raised his eyebrow while looking at Alistair, “Take Daveth and Argus back to camp so Daveth can rest.” He turned to Kai once more, “The meeting is to the west, down the stairs from here. The king and Loghain will be going over the plans and finalizing the details. Please attend with me.” 

Kai nodded as Duncan bowed his head at Daveth and Alistair, before cocking an eyebrow at her, waving his hand for her to follow him down the stairs to the war council.


	27. Titillating Strategy And Royal Lip Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Kai and Duncan attend the war council, and shenanigans of various types ensue, mostly from Cailan; and it only cements Loghain’s further dislike of Kai. And sorry I didn’t warn you about keeping our fun friend Daveth alive, but I wanted it to be a surprise. Hope you enjoyed it.   
> : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> And my signature thanks to all of you lovely wonderful fans and supporters. You all make the writing more fun and vibrant. Especially those who review, whenever I feel inadequate, or my spirits sink, or the gremlins of self doubt plant themselves on my shoulders, your reviews really are the gas in my tank. So, thank you, so very much.
> 
> A special thanks to my dear friend who can no longer beta for me, but is always in my heart and thoughts: Night Hunter MGS. Real Life can be such a harsh mistress sometimes. I owe him so much. So, where the road takes you my friend, you are always in my thoughts.
> 
> Blessings!

Kai walked with Duncan down the ramp towards the war council table she had seen when exploring Ostagar. The table, bare then, bore a large vellum map held down by various pieces of armor. Even with the weights, the leather’s edge snapped in the quickening breeze as the storm drew closer. 

Four people stood around the scared wooden table. A man with what Kai and Fergus as children had always called decided eyebrows—thick black and arching—wore a scowl along with mage robes. Ah, a tower mage then, elder enchanter to boot, or he wouldn’t be here, Kai thought. Next to him was the obnoxious old bat, the Revered Mother herself. Oh goody! Woman still has a face like a prune, Kai thought, and still looks as if she has a broom handle permanently lodged up her backside.

The mage and the Revered Mother stood off to the side while Loghain and Cailan leaned over the table. Kai watched them gesture over the leather painted with a map of Ostagar.

As they approached, Kai could hear Cailan’s voice arguing in a tone that sounded both angry and bored, as if this was an old argument, “Loghain, my decision is final. I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault.” Cailan, sensing their presence, turned, winked at Kai, and gave her a saucy grin.

Loghain’s voice rose higher as he said, “You risk too much Cailan. A darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines.” 

Cailan addressed Loghain once more, but not before giving Kai a conspiratorial eye roll in Loghain’s direction along with another cheeky wink. “If that’s the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us after all.” He waved a dismissive hand at the Teyrn before he spoke to Kai. “I see you made it through the Joining. Every Grey Warden is needed now, you should be honored to join their ranks.” Cailan gently took her hand in his while brushing his lips on her cheek near enough to her mouth that it was almost was a kiss. 

His lips were soft and lingered for the barest of moments, long enough that Kai could smell the metal of his armor, and the soap he used. When he pulled back he still gripped her hand, and his eyes shone with admiration and...attraction? “As your king, and your friend, I am so very pleased you are a Grey Warden now.”

Kai gave Duncan an raised eyebrow before smiling at Cailan. “Thank you, your Majesty.”

The look Loghain turned towards her was much less friendly. In fact, he glared first at Kai then Cailan. “Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to reality!”

Kai noticed how Cailan seemed to enjoy tweaking Loghain’s tail, as the saying went. She knew that Cailan was toying with Loghain, but there was something about Loghain’s reaction that set alarm bells ringing in her head. His blue eyes, which always gave the impression that they could frost water in a cup, turned on Cailan with a heat that would melt glass. A fleeting look of rage crossed his features so quickly that Kai wondered if she was the only one to catch it. “I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves.” Loghain turned away. When he turned back, that livid look in his eye was gone.

Cailan’s voice rose in anger as he shook his head. “It is not a fool notion.” The king’s eyes narrowed as Loghain apparently hit a nerve. “Our arguments with the Orlesians are a thing of the past. And you will remember who is king!”

Loghain’s already pinched features took on a more sour look, as if the man had eaten a sackful of lemons, before he became tired and...sad? He ran fingers across his forehead while sighing, giving the impression of a parent talking to a wayward child. “How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who enslaved us for a century.” Loghain’s voice was quiet and sent shivers down Kai’s spine. Almost as if he had come to some important decision, but what that decision was, she could not say.

Cailan’s tone was harsh and not at all like the devil-may-care one she was used to. “Our current forces will have to suffice then, won’t they?” Kai watched Cailan’s blue eyes—so much like Maric’s—glitter before he turned a soft smile on her and Duncan. “Duncan, are your men ready for battle?”

Duncan nodded. “They are, your majesty.” 

Loghain cleared his throat, which made Cailan roll his eyes again. “Fine, speak your strategy.” He leaned in over the map as he looked at the lines dyed into it. “The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines. And then?” His voice sounded slightly bored, as if he had gone over it all many times. 

Loghain joined Cailan in leaning over the vellum while keeping his eyes on the king. “You alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover—”

Cailan broke in and said, “To flank the darkspawn, I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes?” He put an armor clad finger to the leather’s surface. “Well, who shall light this beacon?” His blue eyes looked into Kai’s.

Loghain stood straight, looking at Kai then Cailan with a slight crimping at the corners of his mouth and eyes. “I have a few men stationed there. It’s not a dangerous task, but it is vital.”

Cailan flashed a look at Duncan that Kai couldn’t read, but which Duncan seemed to understand perfectly as he nodded slightly. The king looked down at the map once more before giving Loghain a cheeky grin. “Then we should send our best. Send Alistair and Kai, one of our newest Wardens, to make sure it’s done.” He winked at her before shooting Duncan that indecipherable look once more.

Kai looked at Duncan but his face was immutable. “You mean I won’t be fighting in the battle?” Bloody hell! Told she wouldn’t be coming to the battle at all, and now that she had lost everything, she was still being kept from the fight! Kai clenched her fists while shooting Duncan an angry look. 

Duncan’s dark skin flushed slightly but his features remained still. “We need the beacon, Kai. Without it, Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge.”

Cailan looked at her with... hope? And then flashed her a brilliant smile. “You see? Glory for everyone!”

Loghain snorted before glaring at Kai and Duncan. “You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?” 

Shaking his blond head, Cailan rounded angrily on Loghain. “Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain! Grey Wardens battle the Blight no matter where they’re from. And both Alistair and Kai are Fereldans!”

Then Duncan said, “Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the Archdemon appearing.” Kai could feel her eyebrows shooting up while she watched him. After their discussion when they first arrived at Ostagar, she hadn’t expected Duncan to broach the topic.

Loghain’s icy gaze, with that familiar minute crimping of his features, turned to Duncan before he turned to Cailan. “There have been no signs of any dragons in the Wilds.”

Cailan shot Duncan a questioning look. “Isn’t that what your men are here for, Duncan?”

To anyone but Kai, Duncan’s face looked calm, but she saw the same flash of disappointment and fear as she had in the Great Hall at Highever. He sighed. “I-yes, your Majesty.”

The bald mage practically leapt forward, startling Kai as she had all but forgotten that he and the ‘old bat’ stood to the side. “Your Majesty, the tower and it’s beacon are unnecessary! The Circle of magi—”

“We will not trust our lives to your spells, mage!” The Revered Mother practically spat out the word ‘mage’ as if she had tasted something unpleasant on her tongue. Of course, it was hard for Kai to tell if the Maker’s fish wife was any more displeased than she seemed to be on a regular basis. Being sour, unhappy, and disapproving appeared to be the old bat’s natural state. “Save them for the darkspawn!” 

The mage flashed an enraged look at the Revered Mother before he and Loghain exchanged some sort of silent communication with one another that made the hairs on Kai’s neck stand on end. Loghain turned his gaze to the Revered Mother. “Enough! This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon.” Kai watched Loghain and the mage exchange another look before the teyrn turned away. 

Cailan smiled. “Thank you, Loghain. I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the King of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil!” His visage took on the wide-eyed wonderment of a child watching for Father Winter and his sack of presents. 

Kai couldn’t help but grin and shake her head. The smile left her lips quickly enough when Loghain turned slightly away from Cailan, arms crossed over his chest. “Yes, Cailan, a glorious moment for us all.” His tone of voice raised goosebumps along Kai’s arms and the hairs on her neck to stand on end. Loghain turned back to Cailan, his eyes sharp and his face set. 

The alarm bells in her head sounded louder than ever. Something was wrong, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it might be. She looked at Duncan, whose features were so still she knew he felt it too. He caught her looking at him and shook his head very subtly.

Cailan apparently felt nothing was amiss, and he simply turned back to her. “Ah, I think that is enough for Kai and Duncan. We all know our parts to play.” Cailan gave Duncan another of those secretive looks before flashing Kai a brilliant smile. “My dear lady, please get some rest, I will need you to be fresh to climb those stairs and light the beacon.” His hand grasped hers as he brushed his lips first over her knuckles, and then once lightly on her lips this time. She gave Loghain a sideways glance as it happened, and the man’s face was livid before the shutters came down once more. 

Kai slipped from Cailan’s grasp, blushing bright red. Duncan came to her rescue by bowing slightly to Cailan. “I shall see that she does, your Majesty.” He gently grasped her arm and walked her past the king and the others. He let go once they were around the table, and then they headed down the corridor back towards their campfire. Once they were near the Quartermaster, Duncan stopped and drew her into the shadows where the tranquil mage stood when she first came to camp. The chest Norval described sat at their feet. 

Kai grinned and removed the key (that she had heated it in the flames of the campfire, before washing it with soap and water) from her belt pouch and slid it into the lock. The chest opened easily. Duncan’s voice commented dryly over her shoulder, “Do I want to know about this, young lady?”

She laughed after pocketing the things she thought would be most useful and sell-able, and left the rest alone. “I didn’t steal the key, if that is what worries you, dear Duncan.”

Duncan cocked an eyebrow at her. “That is a very slight distinction.”

She shrugged, grinned, and gave him a saucy wink. “It was a... gift.” 

Duncan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Trouble certainly knows where you are at all times does it not, young lady?”

Kai laughed. “What trouble, dear Duncan? The key was a gift of sorts, and no one is here to object. And you certainly can’t tell me you have an objection to stealing, as you seem to be sticky fingered yourself.” She touched his arm. “I suspect you had a less than honorable youth, Duncan.”

His lips twitched as if hiding a slight smile. “Indeed. How else would I know the tricks you and Daveth might employ? However, the trouble I was referring to was not the convenient liberation method for a chest belonging to the Magi, but rather that little display with Cailan.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my idea, nor have I encouraged him!” Kai could feel her face getting hot as her skin flushed with embarrassment.

“Nothing is ever your fault, young lady.” Duncan smiled reassuringly.

She returned his grin, but it faded quickly. “I think he did it mostly to anger Loghain.” 

“That would not be surprising. They have a very, push-me-pull-you relationship. Like oil and water, not like the relationship Maric had with Loghain.” Duncan’s face looked pensive.

“More like oil and fire. Did you catch Loghain’s expression?” Kai waved a hand in the direction of the war council. “I don’t like how he acted with Cailan. And did you see that look he exchanged with that creepy mage? I wonder what that was all about.” Kai shuffled her feet. “I have a bad feeling about this, Duncan.”

“All the more reason to have you, Alistair, and Daveth lighting the beacon. I trust you, and them, and it is of vital importance.” Duncan patted her arm.

Kai lifted an eyebrow. “Hm, yes, that look you and Cailan shared meant nothing, I suppose.” 

Duncan removed his hand and his skin darkened as if he were blushing. “You are far too observant by half, young lady. I really must remember that in the future. That look is between me and the king, and Alistair.”

“Alistair? Well, that is interesting.” Kai leaned in. “So, going to confess?”

“I will let Alistair tell you, when and if, he is ever ready to do so.” Duncan’s gaze became sharp and his expression brooked no argument. “As for that ‘creepy’ looking mage, he happens to be a senior enchanter by the name of Uldred.”

“I don’t care if his name is Ferdinand and he keeps fish as a hobby. The man is decidedly off, and those doe-eyed looks he and Loghain were exchanging set my hair on end.” Kai began to pace in agitation while ticking off the list. “There’s Howe’s man leaving Loghain’s tent, and Loghain’s disdain for Cailan, and the way he talked to him and about him? Then there is the fact that Loghain had the tower closed today while his men took care of some lower chambers, and then there is his not wanting us to be involved with the beacon. Which, by the by, I agree with! I didn’t come here to babysit a pile of wood and a torch—”

Duncan cut off her tirade and said, “Yes, I am not surprised by your reaction to that.” Kai opened her mouth answer, but Duncan simply held up his hand and stopped her. Then he continued, “However, it is the desire of our king.”

“Fine! Cailan wishes it. But I still say that Loghain is up to something. Surely you saw it? The resigned look, as if he came to some important decision? And it all ties in with Howe and the death of my family, creepy Uldred, that tower, the beacon, this battle, and Cailan. Did you hear him? ‘It will be a glorious moment for us all.’” Kai gave Duncan an intent look. “Something stinks!”

Duncan patted her arm again. “Just between us, I agree with you. But we don’t have the time to deal with it now. The battle is upon us, and lighting the beacon, no matter how you feel about the task, is vital. The king has given his assignment, it is your duty to see it carried out, and Couslands always—”

“Always do their duty?” Kai shrugged and sighed. “I really am coming to hate the family motto.” 

Duncan just grinned and motioned for her to follow him. They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence to where Alistair and Daveth stood at the campfire.


	28. Riders of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So now you know that Daveth survived and is on his way to the tower with Kai and Alistair. I hope you enjoy his AU appearance as much as I have enjoyed keeping him alive and writing him.
> 
> And it's on to the tower!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> Please forgive the lateness of this post. I've been busy with work today and NaNoWRiMo. And I broke my glasses so writing on my laptop a little difficult. So hurdles, hurdles, hurdles. Mea culpa, my friends. 
> 
> And my love and appreciation go to all of you who have reviewed (it has meant so much to me that you take time out to read and let me know). And it goes to you that read and lurk and put it on your favs. I get a thrill looking at the stats bars and seeing alerts in my inbox. I have the best fans. *HUGS* 
> 
> And my love and thanks go to my betas and friends. They encouraged me when I felt down, sure my muse was gone forever. They assured me she would be back, and they were right. They keep me on the straight and narrow and help turn my fumbling writing into something I hope you all enjoy.

As she and Duncan drew closer to their side of camp, Kai could feel the wind lifting her hair as it caused the bonfire’s flames to flicker and dance, making the shadows appear to be living things. She shot a quick glance upwards, noting that the storm’s full-bellied clouds were directly overhead now, threatening with grumbling thunder and flashes of light deep in their dark, moving mass to drop their burden of rain. 

Duncan stopped at the fire’s edge, putting his back to it, waiting as Alistair, Daveth, and Argus all rose from their prone positions at the great burning stack of logs’ edge to stand next to Kai. 

A thought hit her... Norval! The poor prisoner and his key, she had let him completely slip her mind what with the trip to the Wilds, meeting Morrigan and her mother, and the Joining, to say nothing of that intense war council with Cailan and Loghain. She flashed a look at Alistair and mouthed, “Norval” at him. 

“Oh riiight!” Alistair turned to Duncan, who stood with an amused look on his face. Daveth cocked an eyebrow and looked from one of them to the other.

“Care to share, mate? Or is that some secret lovers code between you and our lovely fellow warden? What’s Norval, a new position, perhaps?” Daveth’s face creased into grin as Alistair’s face flushed a darker shade in the orange glow of the fire. 

Kai bit her lip trying not to laugh out loud at Alistair’s first pained, and then annoyed expression. Alistair wrinkled his nose at their fellow rogue before addressing their commander. “Duncan, we met a prisoner who is awaiting sentencing. It seems the poor chap has been accused of deserting.”

Duncan cocked his head. “Alistair, if you expect me to use the Rite of Conscription on him, I am afraid you and Kai will be sorely disappointed.” 

Kai broke in, briefly touching Duncan’s arm. “No, nothing like that.” Though, she’d wanted to do that very thing before Alistair talked her out of it. “We merely wanted to inform you so you could tell Cailan. The man doesn’t deserve to be hanged, he wasn’t deserting!” At least not at the time, she thought to herself as she crossed mental fingers behind her back.

“Ah, and you believe him to be innocent as sunrise, do you?” Duncan leaned in towards her, eyebrow raised, arms crossed over his chest. 

Kai did her best to keep a straight face and not to squirm under Duncan’s intense gaze. “Yes, well, despite being mostly naked and locked in a cage while being guarded... I took him to be a particularly upright fellow.”

“Hm, I see, young lady. And this feeling of his sincerest honesty as a truly upstanding citizen would have nothing in fact to do with that little ‘gift’ you used on the chest we stopped by earlier now would it?” Kai rolled her eyes. Damn and blast! The man was too smart by half. Duncan’s lips twitched as if he were hiding his mirth with the thinnest margins of self control.

“Okay, so he wasn’t deserting.” Alistair’s muffled, ‘at least not then,’ ended in a sudden expulsion of breath as Kai’s elbow caught him in the stomach. She gave him a quick frown, which had the ex-templar giving her a chagrined look, and had Daveth chuckling. “Okay, so he was going to steal. But he didn’t, so, that should count right? I mean, we don’t have to tell Cailan that part, do we? Couldn’t we just say Norval was taking a walk due to indigestion? Or maybe he was walking in his sleep. Yes, that’s it!” Kai turned pleading eyes on Duncan. “Please, won’t you plead his case with Cailan when the battle is over?”

Duncan rolled his eyes and shook his head while chuckling. “I can see why your father had a hard time saying ‘no’ to you, young lady.” He put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze. “I give you my word that I will indeed plead this prisoner’s case with Cailan.” He released his hand and swept it to encompass them all, but his gaze rested on Kai. “You heard the plan, Kai. And now you shall all know. Alistair, you and Daveth will accompany Kai to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon there is lit.”

Alistair immediately stopped rubbing his stomach as he stared at Duncan in disbelief. “What? I won’t be in the battle?” 

Kai looked on with sympathy at her fellow Warden. She wasn’t so happy about the situation either, so she could sympathize. She looked around Alistair’s still, shocked form and at Daveth. Her fellow rogue’s face held neither an expression of relief nor annoyance. 

Kai looked at Duncan, whose expression remained neutral, save for the barest hint of something she couldn’t quite read. Probably to do with Alistair’s secret in relation to King Cailan, whatever that was. Duncan’s voice was the calm of a parent talking to an angry child, though it, too, held a hidden cadence that Kai couldn’t place. “This is by the King’s personal request, Alistair.” Duncan waved a hand in the direction of the tower. “If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge.”

Daveth broke in, his tone of voice was not hard to discern, however—pure cheek. “Yeah, mate. You don’t want them ‘coming’ too soon.” Daveth winked at Kai and smiled. “That is never a good thing in my experience.”

She watched Duncan duck his head and cough, which sounded suspiciously like laughter. Alistair flashed Daveth another annoyed look before speaking hurriedly as though to change the subject. “So, he needs three Grey Wardens standing up there holding a torch, just in case right?”

Kai broke in. “I agree with Alistair, we should be in the battle.”

The look Duncan gave her seemed to say, ‘you’re not helping.’ “That is not your choice. If King Cailan wishes Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit, then Grey Wardens will be there.”

Kai huffed under her breath. “Then why not send other Wardens then? Why us?”

A look of consternation and—fear?—passed across his features so quickly she almost missed it. He raised his eyebrows at her, his gaze intense, as if he hoped she would not take that line of thought further. “Because he specifically asked for you, Alistair, and Daveth to do this important task.” 

She was about to rejoinder when it struck her, he—and possibly Cailan—were doing this to protect them. But which one? Cailan didn’t know Daveth. Protecting her was a possibility, as she was, if Fergus didn’t make it—Maker, best not to think of that, it hurt too much—the last of the Cousland line. One of only two bloodlines ruling a teyrnir and being in line for the throne should the Theirin line fail or fall. 

Kai didn’t think politics were Cailan’s strong suit, and she very much doubted that she was the reason. That left only Alistair, and with the looks between Cailan and Duncan, and the strange timber Alistair’s voice had taken when speaking of the King, that seemed to Kai to be the most logical path. But why? An ex-templar, now Warden? What made Alistair so important that Duncan and Cailan would conspire to keep him from harm’s way?

It was there, just jumping up and down in her head, begging her to figure it out. She caught Duncan’s gaze once more as he gave the barest nod at Alistair before a hint of a shake, no. So, Duncan knew she was gleaning onto this and wanted her to cease going down that road. The old bugger definitely knew why Cailan wanted Alistair away from the fray. 

This was just getting better and better. Kai made a mental note to grill Duncan about it later. She supposed he should learn soon enough that she was like a mabari with a bone once she latched onto something. She had a moment to pity her new commander before she nodded and gave him a saucy grin.

Duncan shook his head once more, rolling his eyes for good measure before continuing. “We must do whatever it takes to destroy the darkspawn... exciting or no.”

Alistair sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I get it, I get it. Just so you know, if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I’m drawing the line. Darkspawn or no.”

Kai laughed and gave Alistair a cheeky smile. “I think I’d like to see that.”

Daveth winked. “As would I, mate.”

Alistair blushed and returned Kai’s smile. “For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.” He wrinkled his nose at Daveth. “But not for you, ever.” 

This elicited a chuckle and shrug from their fellow rogue. “Ah, well, you win some, you lose some. And who am I to say what kind of games a man should play in the bedroom, mate?”

It was Duncan’s deep sigh that broke any rejoinder Alistair might have made. Kai snuck a look at their leader from under her lashes and found herself biting her lower lip to keep from laughing at Duncan’s pained expression. “The tower is on the other side of the gorge from the King’s camp. I believe Kai knows where as she was exploring there yesterday.” Duncan waited for Kai to nod before he continued. “You’ll need to cross the gorge and head through the gate up to the tower entrance. From the top, you’ll overlook the entire valley.”

Kai nodded again. “When do we light the beacon?”

Duncan gave her a small smile. “We will signal you when the time is right.” He waved a hand towards her fellow Warden. “Alistair will know what to look for.”

Kai shot a look at Alistair, whose brows were drawn down, but he said nothing. “How much time do we have, dear Duncan?” 

Daveth chuckled and winked at her while rolling his eyes at Alistair.

Duncan just shook his head. “The battle is about to begin. I will leave to join Cailan and the rest below. You all should move quickly. I estimate you’ll have an hour, perhaps less. We need enough time to allow the bulk of the horde to enter the valley so Loghain’s men can pin them in from behind.” Duncan clapped a hand on Alistair’s shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze. “Remember, we need you to light that beacon. It may not be drawing your sword against the horde, but it is vital to the battle, and our lives on the field. I am counting on you all.” Duncan looked them in the eyes, each in turn.

Kai caught Alistair fidgeting from foot to foot while blushing. He nodded at Duncan and smiled. Kai touched Duncan on the arm as a thought struck her, what with her recent Joining and her vision of the great and diseased dragon. “Duncan, what if the Archdemon appears?”

Alistair looked at her. “Soil our drawers, that’s what.”

Daveth chimed in and said, “I won’t just be trashing me knickers, mate, speak for yourself. I’ll be running the other way and looking for a clean pair of trousers.”

Kai burst out laughing and even Duncan joined in before he answered her. “If it does, leave it to us. I want no heroics from any of you.” Again he locked eyes with each of them in turn.

“No, worries there. If that nasty bugger shows up and you want me, you’ll find me in Antiva.” Daveth shrugged and grinned.

Kai wrinkled her nose at her fellow rogue and Grey Warden before brushing her hand along Duncan’s arm. “May we join the battle afterwards?”

Duncan looked first at her hand, his skin flushing from the neck up, before he raised an eyebrow at her as if to say her flirting would not work—a wordless ‘nice try.’ She smiled while biting her lower lip, giving him a sheepish shrug as he continued. “Stay with the teyrn’s men and guard the tower. If you are needed, we will send word.”

“Well, gents, I guess we know what we have to do.” She sighed under breath. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it ,though.” Her statement was apparently louder than she thought, as it garnered a chuckle from Daveth, a smile from Alistair, and yet another sigh from Duncan.

Kai looked from under her lashes again to see Duncan’s—despite his sigh—lips twitching as though hiding a smile. “Then I must join the others. From here, you three are on your own.” Duncan schooled his face well, but Kai could see his concern and worry for them despite it. “Remember, you three are Grey Wardens. I expect you to be worthy of that title.” Again, he looked them in the eye as he grasped their forearms in a warrior’s grasp. 

Duncan released Kai’s forearm last, giving it a fatherly little squeeze and a look of... sadness? They both had been through so much together since the fall of Highever. Despite her grief, her bad and even cowardly behavior, he still believed in her. She returned the pressure, nodded, and leaned in to kiss his bearded cheek, making him blush again. This time he gently stroked her hair and smiled. 

As he turned to go, Alistair called out to him. “Duncan... may the Maker watch over you.”

Duncan smiled and nodded. “May he watch over us all, Alistair. And you watch over your new fellow Wardens. I know I can count on you, my boy. I know you won’t let me down.” 

They watched him until the shadows swallowed him up before turning to their tent and gathering a pack with potions—not that they expected to need them unless called down to the battlefield—but, Kai pointed out, better safe than sorry. 

Kai was securing her helmet, making sure the braid of her hair—now rolled under and pinned at the nape of her neck—didn’t cause the helmet to sit cock-eyed or choke her with the chin strap. She caught Alistair standing and looking at another sword, as his sat in the sheath on his back she had no ideas whose it was, with an peculiar look on his face. It was a look bordering on horror. She strode forward. Maker, what? Had Duncan left one of his swords? Had one of the other Wardens? She put a hand his arm, and he looked at her, holding up the sword for her closer inspection. The hilt held a dim golden sheen and a round pommel. The blade looked fine, no nicks or dents. In fact it looked bright and new and … Andraste’s blood! Now she knew why Alistair had that look, it was the sword of some other soldier the elven messenger had given them by mistake.

She grimaced and bit her lip. Damn and blast! They had forgotten to ask around and get the sword to its rightful owner. Bugger! 

Alistair gave her a chagrined look. “Somewhere down on that field is a bewildered knight fighting with his dinner fork.”

Kai choked back a laugh long enough to answer. “Pity him.” Which only caused them both to break into giggles and Daveth to look from one to the other before shrugging and examining his arrows and quiver. 

“I know we shouldn’t find that funny, poor bastard is probably confused. Luckily, he will no doubt be equipped from the cache of weapons that are down on the field to replace broken items as the battle goes on.” Alistair shrugged and slipped the sword through the belt holding the sheath of his own sword to his back. “At least we can try and return it if we get called to the field. Or after.”

Kai nodded, strapped on her own quiver—which she’d had the foresight to restock from the quartermaster—and the bow she carried, her daggers and the family sword she wore already. Looking at the fine-grained heartwood brought to mind Wicked Grace, her mother’s bow, and a sudden sharp pain of loss hit her. 

She looked up to find Alistair and Daveth watching her with concern. She shook her head, shrugged her shoulders adjusting her pack and quiver before slinging the bow on as well. The metal dwarven container with the treaties clanged against her side, she’d completely forgotten to remove it from her pack and give it to Duncan. Blast. Well, too late to unknot it now, they had a tower to climb. She motioned for them to follow her as she left the tent. 

The camp was bustling. People ran to and fro, there were shouts and clanging of metal as gear was loaded onto wagons at the quartermaster’s to be carried down to the valley below. Kai guessed that it might be for that cache of extra equipment Alistair mentioned earlier. Mabari barked in the distance and she could hear orders being issued. 

Hearing the barking reminded her of the Ash Warriors. Kai walked Argus over to the fire and took the Kaddis the from the bag that held health potions. She unstoppered the bottle and dipped her fingers in. The smell was earthy, sweet, and spicy. It was strong without being pungent or unpleasant. She found she rather liked it, which was a fortunate thing, she supposed, since she would also be wearing it as per the instructions she was given.

Kai looked at Argus and explained what she was about to do. He cocked his head and whined, but allowed her to apply the Kaddis readily enough. The mixture was white, so Kai decided to draw a skull on Argus’ face and led her to complete the look by drawing the rest of a skeleton on his body. She stood up and stepped back to admire her handiwork.

“Hmm, how about I let you paint me next, love? I think I could stand to have some of that to, um... what does it do, anyways?” Daveth’s warm breath tickled her ear as he had come to stand right behind her.

She looked over her shoulder at him, which put her face and her lips very close to his. Before she could think too much on it, Alistair’s cough made her jump slightly and step back. 

“If it would poison a certain cutpurse, I’d be interested in dunking him head first in it,” Alistair’s voice grumbled over her other shoulder and Kai had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

Argus gave an angry woof as if to say, “how does it look?” and “are you laughing at me?”

“You look fantastic, mate, trust me. You know your mistress would never do wrong by you.” Daveth winked at the mabari. Kai patted Argus’ head and smiled at him.

Alistair nodded at Argus. “For once, I agree with Daveth. You look fantastic, very fierce.” 

“See? You look great.” She turned back to Daveth. “In answer to your question, it’s called Kaddis and it will help Argus find me in the thick of battle, and I him.” She dipped her fingers in the pot once more drawing a stylized version of the Cousland herald on the back of one hand before putting the cork back in the bottle and placing it in her pack next to the potions.

“According to the old bugger...” Daveth shot a glance at Alistair’s frowning face. “We aren’t going to be in the battle.”

Kai grinned. “Hope springs eternal.” She shrugged. “Besides, we can always sneak onto the field after we light the beacon. Surely Loghain’s men can handle a fire.”

“I like the way you think. But then again, I like a lot of things about you, darlin’.” Daveth gave Kai a rakish leer.

“Yes, well, I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Alistair scowled at both of them. “Duncan said to stay unless we were sent for.”

“Do you really want to stay and watch wood burn, mate?” Daveth gave Alistair a cheeky grin. “Or were you just being obstinate to give Duncan a few gray hairs?”

“Hm, you have a point. All right, we’ll go down and join the rest after the beacon gets lit.” Alistair gave his lopsided grin along with a shrug.

“Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Or at least that’s what my old Nan used to tell me was my philosophy.” Kai felt a quick pinching pain around her heart and she quickly closed the door on the images of Nan and her kitchen staff lying under crimson-stained table cloths. “Okay, gents, time to go I think.” 

She quickly turned on her heel, giving Argus the hand signal to follow, and made her way towards the bridge at a fast pace. It gave her vision which had gone blurry time to clear. Kai heard footsteps behind her, so she knew that Alistair and Daveth were not far behind. She left it to them to catch up. 

Kai stopped at the top of the ramp leading to the bridge. Soldiers walked around her like a stream around a rock. She glanced upward, noting the dark top of the tower and how high it stood. She had a moment to be grateful that they had so much time to get there and to wonder how sore her legs would be be the next day from traipsing from the bottom to the top and back again, for she had no intention of sitting the battle out if she could help it. 

“Andraste’s flaming ass, that’s going to be a bugger on the old legs, that is.” Daveth must have been thinking along the same lines as herself. Kai shot a look over her shoulder to see Daveth giving Alistair a once over. “And I really don’t envy you, mate, in all that metal.”

If Alistair meant to reply, it was lost in a rolling peal of thunder as cold rain began to fall, the storm finally arriving overhead. As if in answer to the weather, the great sounds of war horns blared out, alerting them to the battle about to begin below. 

It was with that clarion call that summoned all the soldiers who still needed to be below, and those that were to man the battlements, to take their places. Kai made to move forward only to find herself and her group surrounded as a large group of archers surged ahead to stand at the bridge wall. 

Another blaring of trumpets and a rumble from the storm answered back. “Well, boys, time to go.” And with that, Kai walked down the ramp to make her way to the Tower of Ishal.


	29. Before the Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Kai and company are sent to babysit a pile of logs instead of fighting darkspawn. We all know you should be careful what you wish for... I hope you all enjoy my little twists with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> Oh, and please! Read each other’s stories and support them! I haven’t had much time to read (barely time to write, *sigh*). So many of you are talented writers in your rights. I promise when I have time to write to give shout outs to authors and stories. 
> 
> And my heartfelt love and appreciation to all of you who have taken the time to review. Your time is precious, as my fans are to me. Thank you for all so much for your feedback, it means the world to me.
> 
> Blessings!

They made their way to the top of the tower after meeting a very panicked guard and the Circle mage who had accompanied him. It seemed that the lower chambers that Loghain’s men were supposed to secure while the tower was closed had erupted with darkspawn. In the words of the guard, “Like a ants from an overturned ant hill, they are.”

And so it was that Kai and company, along with the help from the mage, a man named Edwyn, found themselves fighting to even reach the front door of the tower. 

Each successive level had been worse than the last. On the first floor they found a large and dark pit dropping off into what looked like middle of the world, yet Kai suspected it led to those lower chambers the guard from a few days ago mentioned—so much for being secured. She also figured the darkspawn used those chambers to invade behind enemy lines and had done so, well before the first horn sounded the call to battle, if the large swaths of death and destruction were any indication.

And the creatures were everywhere; the tower was infested. Horrors revealed themselves around each corner. Large swaths of walls painted in blood... Maker, so much blood! That didn’t even count the darkspawn’s “decorations,” large pikes and spikes of metal holding naked, dismembered torsos, heads, limbs, even more blood, and gibbets of meat of no discernible type save human or mabari.

It was on one of their moments of very brief rest after facing yet another flood of the creatures that Alistair had given voice to Kai’s own fears. “Maker’s breath! What are all these darkspawn doing ahead of the horde?” Alistair’s breath came out in pants. “There wasn’t supposed to be any resistance here!”

Her and Daveth’s responses were, perhaps, cheekier than either one of them felt. Kai flashed Alistair a grin. “You could try telling them they’re in the wrong place.” 

Daveth chuckled. “Maybe they got lost?”

Alistair had rolled his eyes. “Riiiight. Because clearly this is all just a big misunderstanding. We’ll laugh about this later. At any rate, we need to hurry! We need to get up to the top of the tower and light the signal fire on time! Teyrn Loghain will be waiting for the signal!”

With their sense of urgency renewed, they pressed on fighting swaths of the foul smelling darkspawn while a strange repetitive booming noise from above strengthened the closer they were to the top.

It was the mabari dead in their cages—save four—that almost broke her heart. Those warhounds that lived fought the remaining monsters barring the way to the top floor and the beacon. She had patted them and ordered them to flee the tower. They had barked in the affirmative and run for the door, one black female stopping to look over her shoulder, whining slightly, before following her packmates. 

“You don’t think that whine was for us, do you?” Daveth asked.

“Well, if the loud pounding noises above us are any indication, we’d best use caution. If the darkspawn beat us here, then Loghain’s men must still be fighting to keep the beacon free.”

Kai indicated to Alistair to open the door—as he was armed with a shield and wearing heavier metal armor—before nodding to Daveth, Argus, and Edwyn indicating they should rush in and surprise the enemy once Alistair cleared the portal. She hoped this would give Loghain’s men the advantage and let them all dispatch any of the darkspawn quickly so they could light the beacon.

Alistair put his metal-encased shoulder to wood, forcing the door inwards with a loud boom and his war cry as he ran in, shield raised. Kai and the rest followed closely behind, almost falling over him when he stopped short.

Kai gave a quick glance around the room, expecting to see groups of warring darkspawn and Loghain’s men. What she did see was almost more than her mind could comprehend.

Loghain’s men were indeed in the room... all over the room, in what looked to be hundreds, if not thousands, of pieces. The floor was liberally coated in blood old enough that the edges of the puddles made Kai’s boots stick to the floor.

A part of her wanted to laugh hysterically, that was before it wanted to gibber in abject fear at the only living creature in the room besides themselves.

It was so large she had to look up... and up, and up. A hugely muscled back stood before them. The skin was putrescent and a sickly shade of purple—the color of a bruise—and covered a massive amount of stone hard mounds of muscle and radiated a sense of stalwart nastiness. The moist crunching sounds did not help her state of mind, nor the almost human-like humming of delight that emanated with each sickening slurp. 

Time seemed to fold in on itself and every detail came into sharp focus as the creature turned to face them. Andraste’s flaming knickers! Was that a leg in its massive... paw? Her mind seemed to be one of those brightly painted whirling tops that she and Fergus played with as children.

Colossal curling horns only added to the monster’s height. Like other darkspawn—at least, she assumed this was a darkspawn, too, and not say, a walking purple mountain—it wore rudimentary armor. Well, hardly any armor at all, actually, and the loincloth covering its, well, intimates left a lot to be desired. But then again, as this thing probably played tiddlywinks with massive pine trees, who needed armor? Right? Kai suppressed the giggle that welled in her throat.

The stench was unbelievable. Even the smell of blood and offal from dead bodies did not dampen the miasma that surrounded it and seemed to fill the rest of the tower not occupied by its physical body.

Beady eyes burned with hatred and malice for them as it opened its fanged maw wide while giving a mighty roar, engulfing them in that same fetid stench that Kai had come to associate with darkspawn, along with a goodly amount of spittle and bits of... Maker’s blood! She wasn’t going to think on that!

“Ogre!” It was Alistair’s voice that snapped Kai back and time resumed its proper pace.

Kai glanced at Alistair. “Have you ever fought one of these before?” 

“No.” He gave her a rueful shrug.

“Well, I think we best figure it out on the go, lads and ladies.” Daveth nodded towards the ogre, whose head was lowered, horns aimed at them. Daveth nudged Kai’s shoulder while backing away. “I saw an old bull do that once, the results to the farmhand were unpleasant, and that chap is far bigger than that bull. Move it, mates!” 

They found themselves scattering as the behemoth rushed forward, missing them by inches, only to stop its momentum once it broke through a stone railing as it smacked the stone wall of the tower hard enough to break the stained glass window in a shattering of brightly colored shards and a shower of stone dust.

Kai felt the reverberations through her feet. She had a moment to wonder if the ogre wouldn’t topple the top of the tower, plunging them all to their deaths, but the vibrations stopped soon enough, and soon she was too occupied fighting the monster. 

And that proved to be a most sufficient distraction, as what seemed like an eternity later, they all seemed to draw its ire and it was all Alistair could do to keep its attention focused on him so the rest of them could whittle away at it. 

It felt like they were chopping on a stone pillar with a spoon. The poor mage seemed to garner its rage the most, and often resorted to running in circles occasionally casting spells when he’d run far enough ahead. She was especially grateful the ogre was none too bright ,or they might have lost the poor enchanter. When it would finally lose its train of thought—what little of that there was—it would stand and roar, angrily swatting at them in turns like a bear surrounded by bees.

Eventually, they were able to wear it down enough for Alistair to run into it and topple it before placing his sword through its eye. The thing shuddered and lay still.

“How in the Void did that thing get through the door?” Kai managed to gasp out as she put her hands to her knees, trying to catch her breath.

“Maybe one of them magic-using ones we met earlier knows a shrinking spell?” Daveth gave a cheeky grin and clapped a hand on the shoulder of the mage.

Alistair nodded towards the beacon. “I think we missed the signal. We’d best light the beacon.”

Kai nodded as Alistair went to the wall, grabbing a torch and setting the large pile of wood ablaze. From the rapid burst of light and heat, she surmised that the wood had been treated with some sort of combustible material.

The flames shot up the chimney and a large whoomph could be heard above them as the flames lit, what Kai guessed must be more wood, at the top of the tower, setting it alight.

She ran to the window the ogre had conveniently broken for them and leaned out over the sill carefully—it was a long way down—to view the battlefield and watch for Loghain’s troops. Daveth’s hands grasped her hips, supposedly to keep her from pitching head first, but he shot her a cocky grin and a wink when she raised an eyebrow at him. 

Kai searched the area, expecting a large field of torches to show the advancement of the rest of the army to surround the darkspawn. But the field stayed as it was: soldiers and darkspawn looking like ants from the height of the tower fighting each other. She couldn’t tell which was which, but she suspected she knew who was winning as Loghain’s army still did not show. 

Kai’s heart began to beat harder. Maker! Where were they? Had Loghain’s men been in turn surrounded by darkspawn? Were there more darkspawn than Duncan thought? Was the battle then lost and Ferelden with it? If Loghain’s army had been taken... 

She flipped over and jumped down. The look on her face made Alistair’s hand reach out and grasp her arm. She shook her head. “They aren’t coming! Something must have happened!”

Alistair squeezed her arm. “What? Do you think the Archdemon showed up after all? Maybe it engaged Loghain’s men? Duncan said this was a Blight—” Alistair’s eyes went wide. “Oh, Maker! Duncan and Cailan!”

“We need to get down there, now!” Kai yelled over her shoulder as she was already headed to the door. 

She stood not a few paces from the portal when it burst open with a screech of metal hinges and splintering wood. White, hot pain arced through her abdomen as an arrow shaft appeared as if of its own accord. Two more followed, one more to her ribcage the other to her left shoulder, knocking her off of her feet with such force that she slid across the floor.

She looked up to see a doorway full of darkspawn. The pain was replaced by a cold numbness as her vision went gray around the edges. Sounds seemed to recede as well. She dimly heard her name. Alistair, maybe, or Daveth. Even Argus’s war bark was muted, as if her ears were stuffed with cotton. 

Edwyn the mage collapsed in a shower of bolts. With her vision rapidly fading, she watched as Alistair, Argus, and Daveth surged forwards. Then it all went black. 

 

#-#-#

She woke briefly or so she thought. Wind rushed around her as she dangled in the air and it was so dark she couldn’t see a thing. She thought maybe she was falling, that the darkspawn had tossed her and the others out of the tower. Despite her wounds, the animal instinct of fight or flight kicked in and she began to flail—though a part of her mind knew it to be futile—she knew she would die on the hard ground below. 

A pressure around her middle increase as if she was being crushed and a great yellow eye with a slitted pupil like a cat’s gazed into her own blue ones. Her fingers brushed leathery skin. The Archdemon? Kai struggled more before the eye seemed to glow brighter and brighter, blinding her, forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut while a voice rang in her head. 

Cease your struggling, foolish girl. Sleep.


	30. Go Ask Kai When She's Ten Feet Tall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added a little twist here at the beginning. I hope you all enjoy it. : ) To dream or not to dream that is the question, is it not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> Sorry for the late posting. I usually post at work when it's slow, but it's been super busy the last few days. I'll start posting on Mondays again as soon as it slows down. I beg your pardons and hope you'll forgive my tardiness.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this and the kudos. 
> 
> Bright Blessings!

She ran headlong and unheeding of where she was going. Kai only felt one thing, fear, and that compelled her to do one thing: flee. The great beast was bearing down on her, its skeletal head filled with black saber-like fangs snapping at her heels. 

She ran through Ostagar, the battlefield itself, dodging fighting darkspawn and soldiers who all remained oblivious to the great diseased dragon raging behind her. She felt it grab her around the middle as it leapt up into the air taking to flight. 

Kai struggled and writhed when she noticed another dragon, a high dragon flying alongside her. Oddly, it was Morrigan’s mother’s voice that seemed to flood her mind with one word... “fly.” And with that, the Archdemon’s mouth opened in a roar, dropping her.

Kai screamed as she plummeted, the high dragon circling her, while the old witch’s gravely voice echoed in her head. “Fly,” she said over and over again. And as quickly as a blink, Kai’s momentum slowed then stopped as wind caught under great wings.

She took a moment to enjoy the sensation until she looked at the wings and saw they were covered in black-purple skin and pustule-laden sores, and where her hands had been, were leathery claw-covered talons. Kai screamed again, but the sound was the bellow of the Archdemon.

The high dragon almost seemed to grin, and again the old witch’s voice filled the void. “Yes, you have become what you seek to kill. You become what you hate to save what you love. It is a blade that cuts deeply. Remember that, child. Do not let your regrets drown you, or you will surely fail, and the world will fall with you.” 

The high dragon’s mouth opened and in a spew of flame cut down the belly of her Archdemon self, splitting it as if it was a sack made from old, rotten cloth. Kai felt herself pulled from it and began plummeting once more only to land in a body of water. Right before she hit the surface, she swore it was the lake outside her home of Highever.

Instantly, Kai was under water so dark and deep that she could not tell which way was up to the surface. It was black and fathomless, the pressure surrounding her was intense and the cold of the water chilled her to her very bones. She began swimming futilely in an attempt to find and break the surface.

It was as she thought that she would pass out, her lungs burning from lack of oxygen—she even swore she heard her parents’ voices—that an armored hand reached from the shadows of the water and pulled her forward. Kai lay, gasping, on the ground for air. 

She managed to get to her knees and look up into glowing yellow eyes set in high cheekbones. It was a strong female face, and a disturbing one. A spiky metal headband held white locks back from a smooth forehead, with parts of the hair swept back into horns that mimicked the high dragon’s. The rest hung loosely in coils around armor-covered shoulders. The studded leather chest-piece—the color of old blood—hugged a lithe curvaceous form while leather ribbons of the same hue wrapped the ends of the ‘horns’ of hair and heavy, spiked metal armor covered the woman’s arms and legs. Dark painted lips were drawn in an amused, if cold, smile. 

The voice was Morrigan’s mother’s still, though the figure before her in no way resembled the poorly dressed, wrinkled and gray old woman Kai had met in the Wilds. This woman exuded power rather than trying to hide it. 

Perhaps Kai’s own fevered brain as she lay dying was only giving form to the power she sensed at their first, and only, meeting. The woman’s lips merely curved upward in an amused smile, as if she could read Kai’s thoughts. “Nothing is ever as it seems, not even you.”

Metal-gauntleted hands, the tips of the finger curved in sharp points like claws, gestured, encompassing Kai. “Well, well, well. You are a puzzle. Yes, I was right to keep you alive. No child, you are not ready for this particular journey’s end just yet—though you will come close many times, and perhaps wish for it more than that—but for now, you have too much yet to do.”

The figure that was the old witch, and yet not the old witch, turned on a graceful heel and sauntered away, leaving Kai scrambling to follow swaying hips encased in metal, leather, and cloth. Her walk reminded Kai of Morrigan’s cat-like stride when they’d met her in the ruins.

They wandered through the battlefield once more, the woman before her neatly side-stepping groups of battling soldiers and darkspawn like a cat wending its way through long grass, while Kai found the journey more laborious. So much so that she almost ran into the witch when she finally caught up. 

The woman stood, a tilt to her head, as she watched something intently, and yet Kai’s instincts were screaming at her to look away, to run in the other direction. The witch nodded at what lay before them. “Look.” 

But Kai seemed unable to look anywhere but at the witch’s angular profile. The witch’s face turned towards hers, one eyebrow cocked, golden eyes boring into her blue ones. "We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. You must watch for such moments... and when they come, do not hesitate to leap." A metal greave-covered hand grasped Kai’s chin, turning her to face what was before them. “This is one such moment. Look, foolish girl, or you will miss it.”

Kai watched as Cailan and Duncan fought back to back against darkspawn. She had a moment to appreciate that both men knew how to fight, and fight well, before a now familiar roar rang out behind them and the ground shook. Duncan’s expression told her he knew what was coming.

She watched as an ogre, as big as a building, ran towards Cailan and Duncan. Watched as Duncan spun to engage the creature only to be thrown to the side with such a force it made Kai wince and start forward, only to find a strong hand gripping her shoulder and holding her back. 

The pressure tightened on her shoulder as if anticipation of her reaction of what was to come. Metal-clawed fingertips dug into the leather armor covering her shoulder with a squeak. Kai watched Cailan spin around, a look of surprise on his face as he saw the behemoth before him. He raised his sword to swing at the ogre, but to no avail. Instead, the monster snatched Cailan up in one massive, clawed hand like a child grasping a doll, bringing Cailan close to its face.

To his credit, Cailan did not cry out in fear. She watched as the ogre bellowed, spraying the king with spittle, before swinging him out at arm’s length and crushing Cailan in one quick squeeze and a fountain of blood before tossing the broken body away, knocking two darkspawn over in the process.

Kai’s eyes filled with tears and she heard someone screaming “no” as if from a distance. Yet the nightmare continued as if she wasn’t there. 

“But you aren’t there, girl. This is not real.” The witch’s husky voice almost purred. “And before you ask, yes, it happened. You see only a reflection of what has already been. This is the precipice, the moment before the fall. Savor it.”

Kai shook her head, tears coursing down her cheeks, as she watched Duncan—who lay a few feet from where Cailan landed—raise up on his arms to give the same sad look he had worn when her father and mother were sacrificing themselves to buy them time to glance first at Cailan, and then the ogre, who stood growling in triumph. 

She watched as Duncan picked himself up, dagger and sword in hand, as he made a running leap at the ogre. His momentum aiding him in landing high on the ogre’s chest, his weapons embedded up to the hilt into the beast’s muscular torso. 

The ogre writhed in pain as Duncan used his blades to literally climb the creature as if it were a mountain, each stab of metal ending in a vicious twist and a spray of dark blood. It ended when Duncan’s careful ministrations reached the beast’s neck and the ogre, weakened, fell onto its back and lay still. 

Again, Kai was forcibly restrained by the strong, armored grip on her shoulder when she sought to go to Duncan who, now that the adrenaline from the fight had subsided, grasped his side in pain and gasped.

The witch’s head tilted in her direction, intense yellow eyes boring into her skull. “Did I not tell you that it would be pointless, foolish girl? You are here to observe, nothing more.” With this, she turned her face back towards the battlefield and Duncan.

Kai watched as Duncan limped to the body of Cailan. It was so covered in blood that the golden sheen of metal had been turned scarlet. Duncan fell to his knees beside the king’s unmoving form. The tears made tracks down her cheeks and crawled along her neck. Kai kept hearing, “no,” repeated over and over again like a mantra. And she realized it was herself saying it.

But it was as Duncan looked at Cailan, and then at the battle around him, and finally at the tower whose beacon shone brightly, that Kai thought her heart would break. The look of loss, despair, and the worst, hopelessness, knowing that Loghain’s troops weren’t coming, were almost more than she could bear. 

And then, a new wave of darkspawn appeared, rushing forward. Kai watched as one Alpha in heavy plate with a huge war axe ran forward, swinging it at Duncan’s head. This time she was determined to get to him, to help him, so she tore herself from the witch’s grasp, screaming Duncan’s name just as the hurlock reached him and the world went white.

As it did, she thought she heard Morrigan’s mother’s voice say, “Foolish girl, this is the leap, fall or fly, the choice is yours, and always will be. Remember this.”

Kai’s eyes fluttered open slowly, cheeks wet with tears. There was a moment of disorientation, and a small amount of panic because of it. Her hands flew automatically to her abdomen and upper ribcage where the first two arrows hit, fingertips brushed bandages as well as her smallclothes. And another, more careful, exploration of her shoulder where the third confirmed that she was still alive, and someone—presumably someone other than darkspawn—had rescued her and tended to her wounds.

Her thoughts instantly flew to her companions and Argus. Maker, did they die at the tower? Kai struggled with the blankets covering her on the dilapidated wooden bed on which she was prone. It was as she rose to sit up that she noticed Morrigan placing a tome back onto the bookshelf, one of the few items of furniture in the sparse and rundown room that Kai could see from her position on the bed. 

The woman turned to where Kai lay. “Ah, your eyes finally open. Mother shall be pleased.”

Kai watched Morrigan stalk over to the bed as Kai swung her feet over the side, resting them on the rough planks of the floor. She must be in the old witch and Morrigan’s hut, then, in the Wilds? Kai tried her voice, which was raspy as though from lack of use. “I remember you, the girl from the Wilds, Morrigan.” 

The young witch’s face registered first surprise then a fleeting look of appreciation, and then possible annoyance. As though she had not expected Kai to remember her name, liked that Kai had, and felt irritated at taking pleasure in that fact. “I am Morrigan. I thought you might have forgotten.” 

As if she had read Kai’s mind about their locale, her next statement confirmed it. “And we are in the Wilds, where I am bandaging your wounds. Which should be much easier now that you are awake to assist.” Morrigan knelt down beside the bed reaching for a bowl of pungent—but not unpleasantly so—paste and a pile of clean rags, which Kai took to be the bandages the witch spoke of.

Morrigan lifted an eyebrow and gestured that Kai should help with the removal of the old bandages. Kai obliged by unwrapping the bandage around her abdomen, revealing the purple, bruised flesh with only a shallow-looking wound. “Morrigan, what happened to my companions, to Argus?”

“Do you mean the two morons?” Kai nodded. Morrigan sniffed and continued. “And by Argus I take it you mean the flea bitten mongrel?” Again Kai nodded. “All alive and here, as well.” 

Kai let out a sigh of relief.

Morrigan placed the cool poultice on Kai’s wound, re-bandaged it, and began on the next. “You are welcome, by the way. How does your memory fare? Do you remember Mother’s rescue?”

Kai hesitated. What did she remember? It all seemed scattered. The dream of falling but not, the feel of leathery skin, the great yellow eye. Then her running from the Archdemon, and the high dragon, seeming to do Morrigan’s mother’s bidding. And... Cailan, and Duncan! Andraste’s blood! Her eyes wanted to fill with tears. She dared not in front of the witch, she knew. “I... I remember being overwhelmed by darkspawn.”

Morrigan finished wrapping up Kai’s ribs and, with surprising gentleness, began on the shoulder wound. “Mother managed to save you and your friends, though ‘twas a close call. I rescued the cur. ‘Tis lucky that it is so smart.”

“Thank you, Morrigan. Argus is... Argus is important to me. He is one of the last things I have from my home.” Kai grasped the witch’s hand. 

Morrigan looked flummoxed, two bright spots of pink blooming in her exquisite cheekbones before she nodded and continued with her ministrations and her conversation. “What is important is that you all live. The man who was to respond to your signal quit the field. The darkspawn won your battle.”

So, what she had seen in the dream had come to pass after all.

The witch finished by tying off the bandage and grasping both bowl and old bandages to rise and place them aside. “Those that he abandoned were massacred. The idiot... your fool friend, is not taking it well. The bumpkin is dealing with it far better. Even the dog is doing better than he.”

“Idiot? Do you mean Alistair?” Kai tried to stand, carefully testing for balance.

“The dim-witted, suspicious one who was with you before, no. The one who threatened to bring the templars here, the foolish thief who aimed an arrow at me, and the flea bitten mongrel, yes. They are all outside by the fire. Mother asked to see you when you awoke.” Morrigan turned back from the fireplace, where she had set the bowl and used rags.

“Why does your mother want to see me?” Kai felt a shiver run along her spine, after her very strange and realistic dreams, she was not looking forward to meeting with the old woman again.

Morrigan merely cocked an eyebrow while crossing her arms across her chest. “I do not know. She rarely tells me her plans.”

Kai gingerly touched the bandages. “Were my injuries severe?” She felt a pang of guilt for causing such trouble, as is it seemed she was the only one in the hut taking up the only bed.

Morrigan seemed amused as if she could read Kai’s mind. “Yes, but I expect you shall be fine. The darkspawn did nothing Mother could not heal.” 

Kai caught a subtle hint that it was not quite as certain as Morrigan was making it out to be. She must have come very close to being with her family in the Fade. “What about Alistair and Daveth? Are they all right?”

Morrigan almost rolled her eyes. “They are, as you are. I supposed it would be unkind to say that the idiot blonde one is being childish.”

Kai scowled. “Very unkind! They were his friends!”

Morrigan shrugged dismissively. “And you think they would encourage his blubbering? If so, they are not the sort of Grey Wardens the legends note.” 

“I wouldn’t know, I only got to meet Alistair and Duncan.” Kai shook her head. “Are there any survivors besides us?” 

“There were a few stragglers who got away. As for the rest... you would not want to see what is happening in the valley now.”

Kai felt her heart began beating faster. “Why, what’s happening?’

Morrigan tilted her head. “Are you sure you want me to describe it?” 

“I... yes, please.” Kai swallowed hard.

Morrigan nodded. “I had a good view of the battle scene. They roam the battlefield, feeding.” The witch strode to the fire and added some wood to it before gathering a cast iron fat bellied pot with a lid. Morrigan shrugged. “They also look for survivors and drag them back down beneath the ground.” Morrigan waved a dismissive hand. “I cannot say why.”

Kai’s heart beat faster with hope. “So those survivors could be rescued?”

And her heart crashed again with Morrigan’s next statement. “If you are willing to run into the midst of the horde, perhaps.”

Kai’s head was spinning. “You said that Teyrn Loghain quit the field. Why did he abandon the king?” 

Morrigan gave Kai an annoyed look before taking a bowl of what looked like sliced tubers, roots, and some meat of indiscernible origin, and pouring the contents into the fat bellied pot along with some water from a pitcher and hanging it over the fire. “I do not know who this Loghain even is. Perhaps ask Mother of it.”

“Are we safe here? What with the horde coming from the Wilds, where are the darkspawn?” Kai felt a flutter of fear. After all, they were at the edges of the horde’s domain.

“We are safe for the moment. Mother’s magic keeps them away. Once you leave, ‘tis uncertain what will happen. The horde has moved on, so you might avoid it.”

Kai shook her head. “Why did your mother save us?”

Morrigan laughed. “I wonder at that myself. Perhaps you were the only ones she could reach. I would have rescued your king. A king would be worth a much higher ransom than you.” The witch’s golden eyes twinkled with mirth.

Kai refrained from rolling her own eyes. “Much, much higher.”

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow and nodded. “What a sensible attitude. Mother is seldom sensible, however.”

Kai thought back to her very realistic dream. “How did she manage to save us, exactly?”

Again, the young woman only smirked. “She turned into a giant bird and plucked you up in her talons and her beak.” Morrigan laughed before stirring the pot on the fire. “If you do not believe that tale, then I suggest you take it up with Mother yourself. She may even tell you.”

Morrigan set the spoon down and walked to a chest at the end of the bed. “‘Tis time you speak with Mother, and then begone. You have an army of darkspawn to avoid and it would be best to get an early start.”

Kai watched Morrigan pull out Kai’s leather armor and woolen undershirt, both of which had been crudely repaired. The undershirt, though stained, smelled clean and herbal as Kai pulled it on over head with the witch’s help. And the armor had been cleaned and oiled, and despite the shoulder wound, with Morrigan’s aid, she was able to slip it on as well.

She took a look around the hut’s interior while Morrigan helped buckle her into the leather cuirass. 

Bookshelves lined one wall, filled to bursting, along with piles of books at its foot, and with the bed and the fireplace, were the largest things in the room. One dark corner held an altar with what looked human skulls. Andraste’s flaming knickers! She wasn’t even going to think about that. Hanks of herbs hung drying from the rafters. Despite its dilapidated nature, the room was clean and neat.

She watched Morrigan’s nimble fingers buckle the last strap and felt a wave of gratitude. “Thank you for helping me, us...all of us, Morrigan.”

Morrigan’s vivid golden eyes widened in surprise before the lashes were lowered and two bright pink spots bloomed on her pale cheeks, as if she was embarrassed by Kai’s kindness. “I... you are welcome, though Mother did most of the work. I am no healer.”

“Yes, but you helped. You brought my mabari to me. You tended my wounds and bandaged them. You did much for me to be grateful for.”

“Well, don’t become maudlin about it.” The witch waved her pale hands dismissively, though the blush remained.

Kai bit her lip to keep from grinning. “I will go and see the others, then.”

“And I shall stay and tend to supper.” Morrigan sniffed and turned back to the pot over the fire, lifting the lid and stirring its contents.

Kai put a hand to the door and swung it open to step out into the cleared area outside the hut. Daveth and Argus sat beside a large bonfire while Alistair stood staring out over the dark, lily pad strewn waters of the small lake, whose borders ended at the edges of the cliff on which the ruins of the Grey Warden tower stood. Maker, had it really only been such a short time since she, Alistair, Daveth, and Jory met Morrigan there? It feels like a lifetime ago.

It was Argus that noticed her first, giving a soft woof and bounding over to her. Kai placed a gentle hand on the dog’s head. “Easy, boy, I don’t want to re-open any wounds. That would be rude to our healer.” Argus contented himself with jumping up and down in front of her, wagging his stump of a tail so hard his whole back-end shimmied.

Daveth’s face lit up with relief he spotted Kai. He rose to meet her, placing one hand on her shoulder and the other on the mabari’s broad head, rubbing the hound behind the ears.

The old witch looked the way she had when they’d first met her, though Kai’s mental memory was giving her double vision with the powerful figure of her dreams. The old woman grinned as if she knew what Kai was thinking as she crossed bony arms over her chest. “Wise decision, girl. I would not heal you from your own folly.” Kai shivered as she looked the woman, remembering her very real dream and what she had seen.

Alistair must have heard them speaking as he whipped around his face, a mask of surprise, which seemed to amuse the old witch more as she pitched her voice as though talking to a small child. “See, here is your fellow Grey Warden. You worry too much, young man.”

Alistair’s eyes didn’t leave Kai’s face, as if he were afraid she’d disappear on him. “You, you’re alive! Huh, I thought you were dead for sure.”

Kai shook her head in disbelief while walking to Alistair’s side. His face looked so stricken she patted his arm. “I’m fine. I appreciate your concern.”

Daveth gave a grin and a wink. “Concern? More like constant chronic worrying while pacing by the fire, and keeping those of us who’d knew you’d be fine from getting any shut-eye. Interrupted a perfectly good dream of a dancing girl I knew at The Pearl, he did.”

Kai laughed and gave Alistair’s arm a comforting squeeze. What Daveth said next sobered her quickly. “I do have to admit, I was worried we’d never see those big blue eyes open, love. You’ve been down and out for two days now.”

Alistair ignored Daveth and continued to stare at her as if she were a ghost. Or as if he didn’t seem to be there with them, but elsewhere. His voice sounded the same as the look in his eyes—lost.The tone of his voice set off alarm bells in Kai’s head. “If it weren’t for Morrigan’s mother, we’d be dead on top of that tower.”

The old woman’s voice rumbled as she closed the distance and joined them at the edge of the lake. “Do not talk about me as if I am not present, lad.”

Alistair blushed and looked down. “I... I didn’t mean... but what do we call you? You... you never told us your name.”

The witch chuckled. “Names are pretty, but useless. The Chasind folk call me Flemeth.” Bony shoulders rose in a shrug. “I suppose it will do.”

Kai raised an eyebrow, remembering the tale the guard at the gate to the Wilds told them while Daveth did a sharp intake of breath. 

Alistair’s eyes widened. “The Flemeth? From the legends? Daveth was right. You are the Witch of the Wilds, aren’t you?”

Daveth shook his head. “See, I told you so! You should listen to me more, mate.”

Flemeth gave Daveth an amused look. “And what does that mean?” She turned her gaze back to Alistair. “I know a bit of magic, and it has served you all well, has it not?”

Kai shivered again, remembering the strange “dream” and how Flemeth appeared in it. She gave the witch a hard stare. “If you’re Flemeth, you must be very old and very powerful.”

Flemeth gave a husky chuckle while giving Kai a raised eyebrow. “Must I? Age and power are relative. It depends on who is asking.” She waved an old gnarled hand at Kai. “Compared to you... yes. On both counts.”

Alistair’s voice choked, making Kai’s heart squeeze painfully in response to shared pain. “Then why didn’t you save Duncan? He is... was our leader.”

Kai was surprised when Flemeth’s face seemed to fold into wrinkled sympathy. “I am sorry for your Duncan. But your grief must come later, in the dark shadows before you take vengeance.” The old witch’s lip curled into a sardonic smile. “As my mother once said.” She shrugged. “Duty must come now. It has always been the Grey Wardens’ duty to unite the lands against the Blight. Or did that change when I wasn’t looking?”

Kai snorted. “The land is hardly united, thanks to Loghain.” She felt eyes on her and turned to see Flemeth’s looking into hers while the expression on her face spoke of something shared. Kai felt more and more as if the dream of the battle was more than mere illusion.

Alistair broke Kai’s inner musing. “That doesn’t make any sense! Why would he do it?”

Daveth gave a bark of laughter before saying under his breath, “You really didn’t get out much before joining the Grey Wardens, now did you, mate?”

Flemeth merely looked from Kai to Alistair and back again. “Now, that is a good question. Men’s hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature.” The witch gave a cynical grunt of laughter herself. “Perhaps he believes the Blight is an army he can outmaneuver. Perhaps he does not see the evil behind it is the true threat.”

Alistair smacked one fist into the open palm of his other hand. “The Archdemon!”

Kai looked at Alistair, who seemed more animated than before, and she found this a vast improvement from his earlier malaise. “Then we need to find this archdemon.”

Alistair looked at her as if she had grown another head. “By ourselves? No Grey Warden has ever defeated the Blight without the army of half a dozen nations at their back. Not to mention... I don’t know how.” His voice almost fell into desperation once more.

Flemeth looked at him with an amused glint in her eye. “How to kill the Archdemon? Or how to raise an army? It seems to me those are two different questions, hmm?” The amused look transferred to a slight curling of the witch’s lips. “Have the Wardens no allies these days?”

Alistair looked confused. “I... I don’t know! Duncan said that the Grey Wardens of Orlais have been called. And Arl Eamon would never stand for this, surely.”

Kai looked at Daveth then Alistair. “Would the Grey Wardens believe us over the teyrn?” She tilted her head. “And Arl Eamon, the Arl of Redcliffe? I saw him at the after Landsmeet parties. But it’s been a while.” Kai grasped Alistair’s arm tighter. “We need to contact the other Grey Wardens!”

Alistair shook his head. “Cailan already summoned them. They’ll come if they can. We must assume they won’t arrive in time.” His hand covered hers. “Arl Eamon wasn’t at Ostagar. He still has all his men. And he was Cailan’s uncle. I know him. He’s a good man, respected at the Landsmeet.”

“My father always respected him. His brother, Teagan, too. Duncan told Cailan that Eamon sent his regards and offered his troops. Cailan apparently turned Eamon down.” Kai shrugged.

Alistair looked even more excited. “Of course! We could go to Redcliffe and appeal to him for help.”

Daveth asked, “Not to interrupt, but what about those treaties that our kind hostess gave us?”

Alistair’s face took on a sickly hue. “Didn’t we leave them in the tent? We would have to go through the horde and get back to Ostagar and hope our tent and its contents are still there!”

Kai grinned. “Relax, that won’t be something we have to do. I never took them out of my pack. I remember seeing them there when I took out the kaddis to put on Argus.” She shrugged. “I didn’t mention it as we didn’t have the time to wait for me to take it back to the tent and leave it by that point. I figured I would hand it over to.... I figured I would hand it over once the battle was over.” 

Flemeth laughed. “See, there’s a smart lass.”

Alistair practically jumped in place. “Of course, the treaties!” He turned to Kai. “Grey Wardens can demand aid from dwarves, elves, mages, and other places. They’re obligated to help us during a Blight.”

Flemeth grinned at Alistair in the way of a proud parent with a child. “I may be old, but dwarves, elves, mages, this Arl Eamon, and who knows what else. This sounds like an army to me.”

“Sounds like a bloody headache to me.” Daveth rolled his eyes.

Alistair ignored the cutpurse as he looked at Kai with a hopeful look on his face, like a child looking for Father Winter to leave presents on Wintersday. “So, can we do this? Go to Redcliffe and these other places and build an army?”

Kai grinned at him. “Why not? Isn’t that what Grey Wardens do?”

Daveth broke in, “Sure, easy as fallin’ off a log, I’m sure. Why do I have the feelin’ it won’t be that easy, mates?”

Flemeth laughed the first true laugh Kai had heard from the witch so far. “And when is it ever easy?”

Alistair looked at Daveth then Kai. “It’s always been the Grey Wardens’ duty to stand against a Blight. And right now, we’re it.”

Daveth gave a saucy wink. “I think the Grey Wardens who’ve gone before us are turning in their graves at that thought.” Kai shook her head and laughed.

Flemeth merely cocked an eyebrow. “So you are set. then? Ready to be Grey Wardens.”

Kai nodded. “Yes. Thank you for everything Flemeth.” Kai gave the old woman a pointed look.

As she expected, the witch knew Kai was referring to not only the healing, but the dream that was no dream. Flemeth seemed amused by Kai’s tone. “No, no. Thank you. You are the Grey Wardens, here. Not I.” 

Kai swore she heard the woman’s voice in her head again. “So you choose to leap after all. Maybe you will fly, and fly high, at that.” Kai shivered as Flemeth’s shadowed eyes looked into hers.

No one else seemed to notice as the old witch continued. “Now before you go, there is one more thing I can offer you.”

She was interrupted as Morrigan gracefully exited the hut, slinking over to their group while addressing Flemeth as if the rest of them weren’t there. “The stew is bubbling, Mother Dear. Will there be three guests for dinner or just one?”

Flemeth’s lips curved in an amused smile. “The Grey Wardens will be leaving soon, girl. And you will be going with them.”

Morrigan smiled and looked at Kai and Alistair with a superior smirk. “Such a pity—” That smug smile was quickly replaced by golden eyes widening in disbelief when the rest of what Flemeth said sank in. “What, what?”

Flemeth’s smile became a chuckle. “You heard me girl. The last time I looked, you had ears.”


	31. At Your Disposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai , Daveth, Alistair and Argus pick up a new companion, who may or may not poison Alistair later. : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all except for what I made up. 
> 
> My heartfelt blessings to all of my fans. You all rock my world. The reviews are the fuel for my writing fire and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and them. Again, my apologies for taking so long in posting. Thanks for your support, I have such wonderful fans.
> 
> Blessings!

Kai looked from Morrigan to Flemeth and back again. The old woman’s features were immobile, but Kai swore there was some thing, some message, going on within that gaze. “Thank you, but if Morrigan doesn’t wish to join us...”

Flemeth turned to Kai. “Her magic will be useful. And she knows the Wilds and will be able to get you past the horde.”

Kai opened her mouth to say something when Morrigan broke in. “Have I no say in this?”

Flemeth grinned at her daughter. “You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for years.” She shrugged her bony shoulders. “Here is your chance.” Flemeth turned back to Kai, Alistair, and Daveth. “As for you, Wardens, consider this repayment for your lives.”

Kai looked at Morrigan, whose golden eyes were narrowed and looked like hot amber glass as she glared at her mother. Kai looked back to Flemeth, who merely returned her daughter’s gaze with an amused look on her face. Kai shrugged. “Very well, we’ll take her along.”

Alistair shuffled his feet and coughed, causing all eyes to turn towards him. He looked down briefly before returning Kai’s questioning look, his face flushing a bright pink. “Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but wouldn’t this add to our problems?” He waved his arm. “Outside the Wilds, she’s an apostate.”

Flemeth gave a deep and raspy chuckle. “If you didn’t want help from renegade mages, then perhaps I should have left you a top that tower.”

Alistair blushed harder and shuffled his feet again. “Point taken.” 

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing as Alistair flashed the witch a chagrined look. 

Morrigan merely glared at him before turning back to Flemeth. “Mother! This is not how I wanted this! I... I am not ready.”

Flemeth’s mouth quirked slightly at the corners. “You must be ready, girl. They need you. They will not succeed if you do not help them, and the world will fall to the Blight. Even your mother.” 

There was something that went unspoken under surface of those words that made Kai wonder if there was more to her sending Morrigan with them than just that they could use the magical aid. Kai cocked an eyebrow, which only made Flemeth’s mouth curve more, as if she could read Kai’s thoughts and found them amusing.

Morrigan’s response broke into this exchange. “I... I understand.” Kai looked from Flemeth to Morrigan, whose pale cheeks bloomed with pink though her face remained void of any expression.

Flemeth chuckled before addressing them all. “And you, Wardens? Do you understand? I give you that which I value above all in the world. I do this because you must succeed.”

Kai nodded. “She won’t come to any harm with us.” She resisted the urge to cross her fingers behind her back—she was pretty sure they wouldn’t be stopping the Blight by getting together with the darkspawn, holding hands and singing. 

Flemeth gave a husky laugh and smiled at Kai as if she had read her mind again. Morrigan merely shook her head at the both of them before addressing at Kai. “Allow me to get my things, if you please.”

Kai nodded and waved her hand at Daveth and Alistair. “We had all best get our things.” 

Daveth, who had remained surprisingly quiet during the conversation, stroked Kai’s arm and gave her a saucy wink. “I’ll gather your things for you, love. We don’t want you bending and stretching and breaking open those wounds after we just got them closed and your eyes open.”

Kai grinned at him. “If you plan on chatting Morrigan up, do be careful. I would hate for us to fight the Blight with two Wardens, a witch, and a toad.” Daveth laughed and saluted smartly before turning on his heel and disappearing into the hut’s interior. 

Kai looked at the old witch standing before her and decided she might not get another chance to speak to the woman, or whatever she was. Flemeth quirked the corner of thin, wrinkled lips in amusement once again. “I hope you aren’t planning on hanging around for some stew.”

Kai snorted and shook her head. “You could come with us, you know.” 

Not that Kai thought Flemeth would, nor were they likely to enjoy her company, but Kai had an overwhelming desire to keep an eye on Flemeth, the way one would a mabari puppy in a glass blower’s shop. Though, she would be hard pressed to explain why, that what appeared to a frail old woman, should cause her skin to goose pimple under those cold eyes. 

Another deep chuckle followed as Flemeth crossed her arms over her chest and leaned in as if Kai and she were old friends. “Hah, I prefer to remain here. Considering what the world has done to me, I have done more than it deserves.”

Kai leaned in as well despite the hair on the back of her neck rising and her instincts begging her to run in the opposite direction. “And what has the world done to you?”

Flemeth’s eyes seemed to bore into Kai’s. “That is between the world and me; your business is elsewhere.” Something dark seemed to swim behind those eyes, like sharks in the Waking Sea. Kai tried not to shudder as Flemeth continued. “I have lived here since before I was wrinkled and old. You may think it strange, but I was young and beautiful once, as Morrigan is now.” Flemeth’s husky voice took on an almost wistful note. “Yes, men desired Flemeth then, and some even killed for her...” 

Something sparked in her gaze and Flemeth drew back with a look of... annoyance? Annoyance that Kai had wrung so much from her? “You don’t seem happy about that.”

“I am not, nor was I then. It dictated all that followed.” Flemeth’s tone hinted that questions in that direction should cease if Kai knew what was good for her.

Kai felt Alistair, Daveth, and Morrigan come and stand behind her so she changed the subject. “What will you do when we’re gone?”

Flemeth shrugged. “Huh, have a moment’s peace for once.”

Morrigan’s cocked an eyebrow at her mother while using a sing-song voice. “I hear the peace of the grave is eternal.”

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing while Daveth chuckled. Flemeth waved a dismissive hand. “Bah! This is the thanks I get for feeding and clothing her?”

Morrigan sniffed while crossing her arms over her chest. “Feed me, she says. Without me, I swear she shall be caked in dirt and eating tree bark inside of a month.”

Kai broke in before they could argue further. “Can you tell me about the magic you do?” Kai’s thoughts flashed to her all too realistic dream with Flemeth and the High Dragon seemingly doing her bidding. 

Flemeth gave her an amused smile as if she knew why Kai asked the question, then a saucy wink as if to say they were co-conspiritors. “What good would it do you? You are no mage. It is sufficient that I have passed my knowledge onto Morrigan, and her on to you.”

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Like an old dress or a worn out pair of shoes.”

Flemeth cocked an eyebrow at Morrigan. “Are you still here? Hmph. You cannot give them away, apparently.”

Kai clapped a hand to her to her mouth to keep from laughing, which earned her a chuckle from Daveth and a glare from Morrigan. Kai only gave the younger witch a rueful grin before turning back to Flemeth. “Well, any advice then?”

“About the darkspawn?”

Kai grinned. “About anything, really.”

Flemeth’s husky voice became deeper the look in her eyes more intense. “Then hear this: I laugh at a world full of stupid humans who strive for their spiritual gain and forget.” Flemeth put her face in Kai’s. “Remember, it is up to you to stop the Blight. Pray not for someone to destroy it. It will always be nipping at your heels.”

Kai cocked an eyebrow and gave the old woman a slight nod before feeling a hand on her shoulder. She turned to find Morrigan’s amber gaze flashing a quick look over Kai’s shoulder at Flemeth before turning to her. “I am at your disposal, Grey Warden. Might I suggest a town on the edge of the Wilds not far from here where we may gather supplies? Or, if you prefer, I shall simply be your silent guide.” The witch’s slender shoulders shrugged dismissively. “The choice is yours.”

Kai grinned. “No, I prefer you speak your mind.”

Flemeth’s voice floated over Kai’s shoulder from behind. “You will regret saying that.”

Morrigan’s golden gaze turned to hot amber glass once more, though her rosy lips curved into a cold smile. “Dear sweet mother, you are so kind to cast me out like this. How fondly I shall look upon this moment.”

Kai looked down while biting her lower lip to keep from giggling, especially when Daveth’s own chuckle reached her ears. Even Alistair coughed as though hiding his mirth. 

Flemeth, however, didn’t bother to hide her amusement. “Haha, if you need something done, do it yourself, I always say. Or hear about it for the next decade or so.”

Kai broke in, grabbing Morrigan’s attention before the two women could continue to bicker with each other. “Tell me about the village to the north.”

Morrigan tilted her head at Kai. “‘Tis a small place of no consequence. A stop along your Imperial Highway. I make purchases at their market there. I would go more often, but their chantry makes it a small-minded place.”

It was Alistair’s turn to break in, his voice pitched higher in incredulity. “They have a chantry there? And they never suspected you were a witch?”

Morrigan snorted. “Of course they have. They even called out their templars once.” Her voice became almost sing-song. “They found nothing.”

Kai rolled her eyes and jumped in again—Maker, it felt as if she was going to spend most of her energy just being a buffer to keep any fighting to a minimum. Daveth gave her a sympathetic grin and she continued. “Is there any reason to go to Lothering then?”

Morrigan simply shrugged. “I mention it for its tavern where people gather and talk. ‘Tis small and our presence might go unnoticed. Beyond that, ‘tis close and I know the way.”

Kai nodded, and then it struck her: the horde, surely they would be out in greater numbers since the battle and their victory. “How are we going to get past the darkspawn?”

Morrigan waved a hand at Alistair. “The real question is how are we going to get your friend past the darkspawn, is it not?”

Alistair blushed and shrugged as he handed Kai her pack. “That’s true. We can sense the darkspawn. Conversely, they can sense us.”

Daveth stepped closer. “I don’t sense the nasties.”

Alistair looked at the rogue then Kai. “You both won’t right away. It takes time. The darkspawn, particularly larger groups, can sense us, though.”

Morrigan sniffed. “Mother has given me something else for them to ‘smell’ instead as we pass by. ‘Tis important we head out of the Wilds, however, not farther in.”

Kai looked at Alistair then Morrigan again. “The darkspawn are camped further in the forest?”

Morrigan grimaced and spoke as if speaking to a small child or an especially slow witted person. “They come from underground, like an eruption. They broke through deep within the forest and that is where they will be most concentrated.”

Kai nodded and tilted her head toward the north. Morrigan nodded and turned to Flemeth. “Farewell, Mother, do not forget the stew on the fire. I would hate to return to a burned down hut.”

Flemeth waved her hands as if shooing off a fly. “Bah! More likely that you will come back to find the Blight has swallowed up the entire forest along with your poor old mother.”

Kai was surprised by the contrite tone of Morrigan’s reply and the softer, almost loving, response from Flemeth. “I... I meant...”

Flemeth nodded and shrugged. “Yes, I know. Try to have fun, dear.”

Kai nodded at the old woman before gesturing that the others should follow Morrigan up the path and away from the hut. 

Morrigan took one more look around before she turned on her heel and began up the narrow dirt trail.

Kai turned to follow Morrigan, resisting the urge to look behind her as she felt the space between her shoulder blades itching as Flemeth’s gaze followed their retreating backs.

It was as they rounded the bend at the top of the hill in the ruins that Alistair coughed and pulled Kai to a stop. “I just... do you really want to take her along because her mother says so?”

Kai shot a look at the witch, who stood impatiently tapping her booted foot annoyance, amber eyes narrowed, before Kai answered him. “We need all the help we can get.”

“Not to mention that she’s prettier than you, mate.” Daveth’s cheeky comment garnered him a derisive snort from Morrigan and an eye roll from Kai.

Alistair glanced at Morrigan as well before shrugging at Kai, a pink flush darkening his cheeks. “I suppose you’re right. Grey Wardens have always taken allies where we could find them.”

“That’s the spirit, son.” Daveth smacked Alistair on the arm, causing the ex-templar to blush harder.

“I am so pleased to have your approval.” Morrigan’s voice dripped with sarcasm, causing Kai to look down and bite her lower lip to keep from laughing.

Kai waved at her group, indicating they should continue on. They traveled in comfortable silence, only stopping on occasion to wait on the path as the witch would disappear into the underbrush, presumably to plant whatever it was the darkspawn were to “smell” other than the Grey Wardens.

After some time, the Wilds became less overgrown and Kai was able to walk side by side with their newest companion. She decided to vent some of her curiosity about the young woman. “I have some questions, if you don’t mind.”

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow at her. “I may have answers. Ask.”

Kai looked at Morrigan’s lithe, well-formed figure and exotic beauty and found herself doing mental flips trying to imagine Flemeth and the young witch being related. “Are you really Flemeth’s daughter?”

Morrigan merely gave a half smile. “‘Twas she who raised me, and thus I consider her my mother, born from her womb or not. ‘Tis what you meant, yes?”

Kai shrugged and nodded before hooking a thumb back towards the Wilds behind them. “She’s just going to stay there all alone?”

Morrigan gave a derisive snort. “Mother was alone long before I came along, and will be so long after I am dead. Such is her choice, though I suspect she would claim the choice was made for her.”

Kai merely nodded and they fell into silence once more as they continued onward. It was as the Imperial Highway came into view and the last of the Wilds fell behind them that Kai tried again. “Have you ever been out of the Wilds? I mean, really out of the Wilds.”

Morrigan gave her a curious look. “From time to time. The village where I studied its people and pondered their strange behavior. There, I bought goods and men stared as I was an outsider.” 

Kai doubted that they stared only because Morrigan was an outsider, or even because she was a witch, given the rather revealing nature of the clothing that she wore. 

Daveth’s statement only confirmed her thoughts. “Darlin’, you really sell yourself short. If men were starin’, it probably had something to do with you being very easy on the eyes.” This garnered a groan from Alistair and a growl from Morrigan. Kai thought she might crack a rib trying to hold in her laughter. 

Morrigan waved a dismissive hand at the men before continuing. “Mother wishes for me to expand the horizons of my experience beyond the Wilds. Even she was not born there.”

Kai shrugged. “Is that what you want?”

Morrigan let out an exasperated sigh. ”What I want is to see mountains. I want to experience the ocean and step into its waters.” The witch’s tone became less irritated and more wistful. “I want to visit a city instead of seeing it only with my mind.” Slender shoulders shrugged. “So, yes, this what I want. ‘Tis just that...”

Kai gently touched the woman’s arm. “Just what?”

Morrigan’s eyebrows drew down in annoyance before softening again as she looked back to the Wilds. “Actually leaving is... harder than I thought, however. Perhaps Mother is right—it must simply be done quickly.”

Kai resisted the urge to offer comfort sensing that would only earn her a verbal slap—if not a real one—for her troubles. Instead, she nodded toward the white granite of the Imperial Highway off in the distance and they continued walking. 

Kai studied Morrigan’s profile and got caught at it, which seemed to amuse Morrigan rather than annoy her. “You have more questions for me, then?”

Kai shrugged her shoulders, adjusting her pack. “Flemeth mentioned she passed on skills to you, though you did say you are no healer like she is.” This caused the witch to arch one delicate dark eyebrow as if to say, ‘so?’ Kai merely grinned. “So, what skills do you have, exactly?”

Morrigan snorted delicately. “I know a few spells, though I am not so powerful as Mother.” 

Kai heard an unspoken “yet” as if it hung in the air before them. She grinned and raised her own eyebrow in a “do tell” gesture. 

Before the witch could reply, Alistair’s voice broke in from behind. “Can you cook?”

This caused Morrigan to stop and spin around, hands on leather clad hips, and a fierce gleam in her yellow eyes. “I... can cook, yes.”

Daveth let out a chuckle and slapped Alistair on the back. “Nice one, mate. If she does cook tonight, I’ll look for a frog that looks like you.”

Kai laughed. “Then you can substitute for Alistair.”

Alistair blushed. “I only meant...” He sighed. “Right, my cooking will kill us, that’s all I meant.”

Morrigan’s eyes narrowed, though her voice was as smooth as cream. “I also know at least fifteen different poisons that grow right here in this marsh.” The witch’s pink lips curved into a feline smile. “Not that I would suggest ‘tis related at all to... cooking.” With that, she turned on a booted heel and continued walking towards the raised road of the highway.

“When it comes time for her to cook, I’d feign a stomach ache and lack of hunger, mate.” Daveth laughed as he clapped Alistair on the shoulder once more before winking at Kai and following the witch.

Alistair just stood with his mouth open as he watched their companions’ retreating backs. Kai laughed and grabbed his arm, making him walk with her. “Well, at least with her along, things won’t get boring.” 

Alistair sighed. “Boring, no. Creepy, strange, paranoiac, certainly. But boring, definitely not.” 

Kai merely punched him in the arm before looping hers back, through his making him blush and grin. They laughed together as they made their way to the road.


	32. Low Flying Nugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travel along to Lothering with our intrepid group. But once there, will they even get in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bioware owns all but what I made up.
> 
> My special thanks to all who took the time to review, your precious time spent on my stories is very much appreciated. And thanks for all who make the bars on the story stats go up. It’s always such a thrill.
> 
> You all mean so much to me.
> 
> Blessings!

Lothering, was by distance, normally only a day’s walk from the Wilds and Flemeth and Morrigan’s hut. But Kai and company found themselves making camp on the raised avenue as darkness fell with their departure having started at the dinner hour. 

Camping on the highway brought back memories of Kai, Duncan and Argus doing the same, in what felt like a lifetime ago. It made her heart clench painfully, and more than once she found herself fighting back tears at the vision Flemeth had given her of Duncan and Cailan’s deaths. 

Two more had gone to the Fade before her. And if she was taking it badly, Alistair seemed to be suffering the most. Having her alive had helped, but that soon passed into bouts of quiet melancholy where the ex-templar would speak only when spoken to, and he seemed disinclined to do much more. 

So they fell into silence. Morrigan seemed the least interested in their party, as she sat reading from some book on herbs, or spells--Kai didn’t try and read the title. 

Daveth’s joke, that she was studying to poison their companion, earned him only a sniff and a raised eyebrow from the witch--and garnered no response, not even an attempt at a smile from Alistair. Daveth gave up trying to engage their companions in something resembling a conversation. 

She worried that Alistair would keep it to himself the way she had after the death of her parents and her family. Would the ex-templar be as foolish as she had been? Kai wasn’t sure, but she knew that if she had her druthers she would let him brood until tomorrow and then she’d find a way to make him talk. 

Daveth offered to take first watch. Kai took second, with the campsite duty of keeping the fire going with wood they had gathered in anticipation of a night spent on the elevated stone road. They all settled down to wait for sunrise and the continuation of their journey. 

Kai woke the others when the sun’s first rays began to barely peek over the gentle swell of hills surrounding them. After a quick meal of hard traveler’s bread, dried meat, and fruit from Argus’s pack and after ensuring the embers of the fire were completely doused, they went on their way.

Though the day that they awoke to promised to be one of those unusual sunny Ferelden days, the mood of their group was decidedly morose. Even with bird’s song, the scent of wildflowers--and as they drew closer to the outskirts of Lothering--hay and beasts from farmers’ field, did nothing to lighten the aura of melancholy that surrounded them. Well, all of their moods save Morrigan’s, who seemed to be alternately puzzled, amused, and disdainful of their gloomy attitudes. 

Kai was mourning Duncan, their fellow Fereldans, as well as Cailan, as Alistair was--and she didn’t doubt that Daveth was doing the same--but her raging feelings were coupled with a sense of shock and dread for having lost a major battle to the darkspawn due to treachery of one of their country’s greatest heroes. She didn’t know if that part even registered with Daveth, being a thief and no political animal. Nor, did she know if Alistair was thinking on it either, being so immersed in Duncan’s death. But as a person raised in the political shark pool of the nobility, it was more than a niggling worry for her. 

Alistair’s mood had fallen even further into a depressed despondency. And even Argus was subdued and barked only in quiet ‘woofs’.

Added to that mix was the additional stress Kai had of leading this group and the decision making that went along with that role. The weight of it hit her as they walked closer to Lothering. 

Which group should they approach first with the treaties? Where were all those groups? Kai tried to remember Aldous’s geography lessons--not her favorite subject--and what was the most immediate way to reach them? What was the best way to approach said groups? What if said groups laughed at old mouldering papers and long forgotten promises? What would they do then?

Duncan had said, if they didn’t beat back the darkspawn before the horde reached the North, then Ferelden would fall. If Ferelden fell, then the other nations of Thedas would have to take up the fight to save their world. No pressure, no, none at all. 

They almost passed Lothering, or would have rather--so lost in thought were they--if not for the corpse lying on the stone walkway dressed in templar armor. The plate was of good quality and bore the heraldry of Redcliffe. Kai gently searched the body in hopes of finding something to identify the man, so his family might be notified. She noted the sword slashes and the smashed in armor from, what she could only guess, was a mace or hammer that looked to be the killing blow. 

Her cursory search turned up an empty money pouch. But a more thorough search than his killers had done revealed a hidden pocket on the inside of his sash-belt, which turned up a golden locket and a folded piece of parchment. The locket popped open easily as if it had been opened many times before. Inside it held a tiny painting of a pretty brown-haired woman. It was impossible for Kai to tell who the woman might be, but whoever the knight was, he apparently had been quite fond of her.

Kai quickly put the trinket into Argus’ pack with orders to guard it. This earned her a grin from Daveth and a woof that sounded suspiciously like a laugh from the Mabari.

“If you keep returning treasures of dead folk to their families, love, we’ll have nothing left to buy supplies with.” Daveth grinned as Kai wrinkled her nose at him and began unfolding the paper that had rested with the locket.

“‘Tis something the bumpkin and I can agree upon. ‘Tis most impractical to waste time seeking out these people to return objects they do not even know about.” Morrigan crossed her arms over her chest, her booted foot tapping the granite tiles of the walkway. “And supplies do not fall from the sky.”

“See, love? It ain’t practical.” Daveth winked while the witch glared at him. 

Kai only laughed, shaking her head at them, as she quickly skimmed the note. When she finished she answered them. “We’ll be fine moneywise for a while. And I know I’d want to know what happened to my beloveds, as well as a mem...” Her voice caught as she thought of Oren’s dire bunny in her pack. “As well as a memento to remember them by.” 

Alistair bent down to examine the fallen knight, which distracted Daveth and Morrigan from arguing, allowing Kai to steady herself.

Since it was the first interest he had taken in anything since Ostagar, she handed him the note and rose to her feet. Alistair stood as he looked up from the letter. “It says he’s a knight from Arl Eamon’s town of Redcliffe, and he was looking for the Urn of Sacred Ashes.” 

“Urn of Sacred Ashes? Why would anyone be looking for dregs from a fire pit?” Daveth shrugged. “More to the point, why would anyone want to keep it?”

“It’s not just any ash from any fire, you dolt. It’s the ashes from the fire that consumed the blessed Andraste.” 

Daveth winked at Kai, as Alistair continued to read the letter. It was the most animated that their fellow warden had been, and they both wanted to encourage it.

“He says that many of his fellow knights have been searching for it, but that he found a Brother Genitivi of Denerim holds the key. But he says that no one, until this chap, knew where the brother was.” Alistair’s eyebrows flew up his forehead in surprise before he looked up from the letter with an impish grin. “He says that surely others found where the Brother is, but seems to think something bad happened to them, then he talks himself out of it. Cre-epy.” 

“Maybe there’s cannibals that ate them?” Daveth jokingly returned Alistair’s impish grin, while Morrigan sniffed derisively.

“One should not discount such things, or dragons, or darkspawn, or bandits. ‘Tis most likely though, the fools could not find it, as it doesn’t exist because it is all Chantry twaddle. ‘Tis more probable they ran away, rather than return like dogs, with tails between their legs in failure.”

Alistair rolled his eyes, as his grin turned into a serious frown. “He says he was meeting a fellow Redcliffe knight named Ser Donall here in Lothering. Poor sod, he was so close.” His gaze looked up and over the at the roofs of the buildings of the town showing over the wall, without really seeing it. “But what could be so dire, that they need a major religious relic said to make miracles?”

Morrigan crossed her arms over her chest, her voice sweet as cream. “‘Tis one way to discover such information, is there not? Inquire as to the whereabouts of this Ser Donall and bother him with your silly questions, ‘tis useless to ask the rest of us.” And with that the witch put her nose up in the air and began to stalk off while speaking over her shoulder. “We have a dog with us and Alistair is still the dumbest one in the party.” 

Alistair only blushed and handed Kai the note which she put into Argus’ pack along with the locket. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before she motioned they should follow the witch’s retreating back.

Daveth grinned. “Don’t worry, mate. I’m sure she thinks I’m only slightly smarter.” And he jogged to catch up with Morrigan.

Kai linked her arm with Alistair’s and gave him a wink and a smile. Both of which caused him to blush more. But the smile he returned, which she took as a good sign. “Come on, Alistair, we’d better catch up, or she might turn us into rabbits and cook us in a stew.” 

Morrigan merely turned to face them. “‘Tis a possibility if I have to eat more of that disgusting fare from the mongrel’s pack.”

Daveth gave the witch a grin. “Aye, I admit that I could use a warm meal myself. That hard bread slows the flow of things if you get my meaning.”

Morrigan merely glared at the rogue while Alistair groaned while brushing a hand across his forehead. 

Kai laughed and rolled her eyes as she let go of Alistair’s arm and walked passed them, patting her leg for Argus to follow. “Well, we best get ourselves into Lothering then. I suspect we’ll be walking and eating that kind of fare, more often than not. Best to get a cooked meal while the getting is good, as Nan used to say.” She quickly shut the door on the memory of Nan’s corpse that tried to float into her mind’s eye. Maker, would it never end? 

Kai began walking around a blockade of wooden crates that were stacked on either side of the walkway narrowing the path. They created a blind corner which left her wondering if they had been placed to add protection from the darkspawn headed this way. 

She discovered the “why” and “who” soon enough as she rounded the boxes to come face to face with a group of seedy looking men, in armor and weapons, standing in a cleared area. Behind them lay another narrow twisting path, made by overturned wagons leading to the ramp into the town itself. 

Kai was willing to bet they weren’t guards to Lothering or a volunteer group of villagers acting as same, and that the obstacles on the road weren’t to act as bulwarks against darkspawn invaders.

Rather than hesitate, she kept walking forward until she stood in front of the group. She didn’t look around as Alistair and the rest filed in behind her. Instead, her study of strategy had her doing a head count, number and types of weapons, assessing armor, and general alertness--or intelligence and training--of what was looking to be a very probable threat. 

To her immediate right stood a man, with dark hair in a ponytail plait--that reminded her of the Ash Warrior leader at Ostagar--who stood looking over grass covered hills, a huge mace strapped to his back. To his right stood two archers in leather helms, quivers and bows strung over their shoulders. To Kai’s right--and the archers’ left--stood a hugely muscled man with a receding hairline, and two great axes strapped to his back. Next to him, a man who stood out in a land of pale skinned Fereldans, with tan skin and dark hair suggesting Rivaini descent. A round shield gave him a humpbacked appearance, while the hilt of a sword showed itself behind his left shoulder. 

None of the men had reached for, readied their arms, or nocked bows--in the case of the archers--for her and her war hound’s arrival, nor did they seem inclined to do so, when more of her party came to a halt behind her. 

So, not military men, and not particularly bright. Kai suspected that the man with the mace was the culprit in the Redcliffe knight’s death. Since they hadn’t found the locket, they weren’t particularly good thieves--no imagination. And they were apparently used to peasants and townsfolk who did not have weapons or the wherewithal to fight back. Or they were used to using overwhelming numbers when they did run into someone who could and would fight, like the templar whose body they found.

It only left Kai to figure out who was the leader of this crew of buffoons. Her problem was solved for her when the balding one turned to the man with the darker skin. “Err...they don’t look much like them others you know. Uh...maybe we should just let these ones pass...”

So, the dim one--who reminded her, uncharitably of Ser Jory, though slightly smarter--pointed her to the right man, whose rejoinder was very chipper as if he was only a host inviting them to his home. He waved a hand at his compatriot before addressing Kai and her group. “Nonsense! Greetings, travelers!”

Kai thought she’d bust a rib holding in her laughter at the man’s out of place tone of voice. 

Her companions’ attitudes varied wildly from hers. Alistair’s was simply to state that they were highwaymen preying on those fleeing the darkspawn. Morrigan’s opinion was far more direct with allusions to fools and teaching them a lesson for getting in their group’s way. Daveth’s was a mixture of both. Argus merely growled low in his throat, his pointed ears flat against his broad skull. 

All comments were heard by the ’leader’ who merely cocked an eyebrow and leaned forward, a wry grin on his face. “Now is that anyway to greet someone? Tsk, tsk. A simple ten silvers and you’re free to move on.”

Kai grinned back, while keeping an eye on the men to her left. She pointed a finger at the big muscled fellow beside him. “You should listen to your friend. We’re not refugees.” 

The leader’s dim companion shook his head. “What did I tell you, boss? No wagon.” The man’s beady eyes darted to the hilt of her father’s sword jutting out over her shoulder. “And this one looks well armed.”

He waved a dismissive hand at his companion. “The toll applies to everyone, Hanric. That’s why it’s a toll, and not say, a refugee tax.” He grinned at Kai.

Hanric, the toll troll--as Kai now thought of him--turned back to them, his dim-witted response had her biting her lip to keep from laughing. “Oh, right. Even if you’re no refugee, you still gotta pay.”

Kai cocked an eyebrow while crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re toll collectors, then are you?”

The lead bandit nodded enthusiastically. “Indeed! For the upkeep of the Imperial Highway!” He jerked a thumb at the crumbling remnants of the raised avenue that continued behind him while grinning conspiratorially at her. “It’s a bit of a mess isn’t it?”

Kai only laughed while rolling her eyes. “Right, you’re only fixing the highway. And low flying nugs will begin nesting in the hair of the citizenry.”

The man only grinned harder. “Nothing much gets past you, I see.”

At this point, Hanric, the dim, decided to clarify for her and leaned in. “It’s not really a toll. We’re just robbing you, see?”

His leader turned a frown the man’s way while waving a hand. “Do shut up! Even a genlock would have understood that.”

Kai snorted. “Forget it. I’m not paying.”

He turned his gaze back at her. “Well, I can’t say I’m pleased to hear that. We have rules you know.”

 

Hanric looked from him to her. “Right. We get to ransack your corpse then. Those are the rules.” 

Kai bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing--these men were really amateur hour. “Do you really want to fight several Grey Wardens? Not to mention a mage and a mabari war hound?”

Hanric’s expression took on an even more confused look as he regarded his boss. “Did she say she’s a Grey Warden? Them ones killed the king!”

Kai placed a hand on each of Daveth and Alistair’s chests as they surged forward at the king killing comment. She shot both of them a look over her shoulder, which silenced any comments they may have made, especially at the bandit leader’s next comment.“Traitors to Ferelden, I hear. Teyrn Loghain put quite the bounty on any who are found.” 

Her hand slid reflexively to the dagger strapped at her waist. So, Loghain called them traitors and put a bounty on them? Interesting. They made The Hero of River Dane nervous, did they? Curiouser and curiouser. 

Apparently, Hanric caught the motion, and the look on her face, even if his boss didn’t. He shot Kai a look before addressing his leader. “But...aren’t them Grey Wardens good?” His look slid to her dagger then back again. “I mean, really good? Good enough to kill a king?”

The head bandit must have caught the various looks of anger and outrage on their faces. He paled “You have a point. Well, let’s forget about the toll. We’ll just leave you to your darkspawn-fighting, king-killing ways.”

Kai bit her lower lip, an impish idea was forming based on Morrigan and Daveth’s earlier comments about returning items to owners. She leaned in towards the man. “You know, the Grey Wardens could use a donation.” She winked. “What with the battle and all.”

He looked nervously, first at her, then to each companion, his eyes resting on Argus, who growled. “You don’t say?”

Hanric clapped the man on his shoulder. “They is really good boss. Remember.”

Kai watched as the man took a heavily ladened leather pouch from his belt and handed it to her. “Here are one hundred silver? It’s all we have collected.” 

She cocked an eyebrow and asked sweetly. “Really, how about all the other days since Ostagar fell?”

Hanric pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards one of the overturned wagons. “All we collected is there.”

One of his fellow bandits, who had remained silent until now, surged forward. “Idiot!” 

The blue glow from the magic glowing in Morrigan’s hand ceased his forward motion. Kai nodded at the witch before she grabbed the sword from her back along with one of her daggers which she put in an “x” of crossed blades around the throat of the bandit leader. 

“I think, gentlemen, it is time for you all to find a new form of employment. If I see you back here, taking ‘tolls’ from innocent folk, I’ll make you wish you’d met the darkspawn instead of us.” Kai grinned. “Am I being clear enough for you?” 

The bandit’s eyes grew larger and his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard before nodding. “Clear as glass, dear lady. We’ll take our leave right now.” 

Kai gave him a small smile as she removed her blades from his neck. “Glad you’re such a sensible sort.” 

Kai motioned for her group to back up so the now unemployed bandits could file through the way her group had come. The leader gave her a little salute. Hanric only shrugged his shoulders and followed along with the archers. 

It was the man with the mace that decided he didn’t like how the negotiations went. He leapt at Kai, his large mace braced in both hands. “Galaher is a fool and a coward! He should never have been leader!” 

Kai let the man come at her, dodging at the last minute, and executing a pirouette that brought her sword slicing through the thin bones of the man’s wrists causing the mace to fall with a loud thud of metal, cracking granite tiles. The man stared stupidly at the space where his hands had been before he turned that look on at her. His was mouth agape in surprise, before the same sword--that parted his hands from his arms--slid into his chest between his ribs. 

She merely gave him a face set like stone. “I know it was you that landed the killing blow on the templar we found. Consider this payment in kind for him and his lady.” Kai drew back her blade to let the man fall face first onto the roadway. 

The leader, Galaher, turned to her with a grateful smile. “He was becoming a problem. I ordered no one be killed, including the knight. I wanted to rob him, not kill him. A threat of death works more often than not. Those it didn’t work on, we let pass, like those Ash Warriors .” 

“But after a few robberies Petrog was feeling a little too powerful. After killing the templar and not being struck immediately down by the Maker, he was making moves to take over. You saved me the trouble of serving him his walking papers. I owe you dear lady, even if you did rob us in your fashion.” 

He grinned. “Well, one good turn deserves another, as my Great Aunt Maude used to say. Farewell, dear lady, and watch out for bounty hunters. We met some and let them pass. Keep a sharp eye peeled in town. “ 

And with that he waved goodbye and motioned for his men to follow him. Kai heard Hanric tell him, “I told you they was really good, boss,” followed by Galaher’s laughter.

Kai shook her head while walking around the wagon Hanric pointed to as the cache for their ill begotten booty. She saw crates of items and one lone, little white lamb, with a leather collar and tether, tied to one of the crates. It bleated loudly at her and she gently scratched its wooly head. 

She stood lost in thought. These items, and lamb, needed to be returned to their rightful owners. She knew this would garner her more responses from the witch and Daveth, but it was the right thing to do. 

“Deciding how to return everyone’s lost goods, love?” Her inner musings were interrupted by Daveth’s cheeky grin. “That’s all right, darlin’ I think we make up for it by selling this.” 

Kai looked as Daveth raised the hefty mace--sans the dismembered hands--and chuckled. She shot a quick look at Morrigan, who only raised an eyebrow and sniffed. Kai laughed and made the hand motion for Argus to stay. “Argus, cosain,” using the old Alamarri word for “protect”. At which point he lay down next to the lamb who curled up with its head on the marbari’s back. 

“We’ll be back as quickly as we can, Argus Rabbit.” Kai said as she bent down to give the Mabari and the lamb one last scratch behind the ears before heading down the ramp leading into Lothering.


	33. The Lothering Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there it is, Lothering, pretty as a picture...from a distance at least. Up close it's packed like salted fish in a barrel, and smells as if those fish have gone off in a really bad way.
> 
> And poor Kai, trying to keep the peace between Morrigan and Alistair, not to mention peace as they make their way to the chantry is taxing to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I must apologize for the major delay in getting any kind of chapter out. My life just got out of control busy withe holidays and I caught a terrible upper respiratory infection that is taking forever to heal. I do feel terribly guilty. And I hope you’ll forgive me. And for those still following and reading I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> And my special shout out and thanks to Czarinakristi for her taking time to comment and what a kind comment it is too. Thank you so much.

They walked down the incline to the balcony of the intersection of ramps, one leading to the right the other left. They stopped to look at the town from the balustrade. 

Alistair gave a cheeky grin and wave his hand at the view before them. “Well, there it is, Lothering, pretty as a painting.”

Morrigan gave a derisive sniff, “Ah. So, you have finally decided to rejoin us, have you?” The witch cocked a dark eyebrow. “Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble I take it?”

Before Kai could jump in, Alistair answered,“Is my being upset so hard to understand?” He faced Morrigan. “Have you never lost someone important to you?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Just what would you do if your mother died?”

“Other than do a dance of joy, thank the Maker, and get pissed faced celebratin’?” Daveth whispered under his breath, causing Kai to bite her lip to keep from giggling.

Morrigan remarked as if she hadn’t heard the thief, her voice amused. “Before or after I stopped laughing?”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Ri-ight. Very creepy. Forget I asked.”

Kai broke in, putting on hand on his arm. “You have been quiet Alistair.”

Alistair blushed and gave her a small smile. “Yes, I know. I was just...thinking.”

One corner of the witch’s lips quirked into a smile. “No wonder it took so long then.”

Kai glared at the witch and tried again. “What did you want to talk about Alistair?”

Morrigan responded to Kai’s glare the same way a cat would, she ignored it completely. ”His navel I suspect. He certainly has been contemplating it for long enough.”

Alistair snorted. “Oh, I get it. This is the part where we’re shocked to discover how you’ve never had a friend in your entire life.”

The witch’s took on a smooth almost seductive tone. “I can be friendly when I desire to. Alas, desiring to be more intelligent, does not make it so.”

Kai found herself trying to keep from pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. She had the sinking sensation that she would be coming between these two a lot in their coming travels.

Daveth grinned and leaned in to speak in her ear, apparently thinking something similar. “I hope you have a thick skin, love. Those two could wear you down quick if you don’t.” 

Kai merely wrinkled her nose at him and continued to listen as Alistair looked her way. “Anyway...I thought we should talk about where we intend to go first.” His voice lifted on the last word, almost as if he was posing a question, rather than making a statement. 

Waiting for her to take the lead? Kai nodded encouragingly at him. “Have you some ideas on that matter?”

The witch merely crossed her arms over her chest, a small smile curving up one corner of her pink lips. “Oh, this should be good.”

Alistair blushed, but to his credit, didn’t falter. “I think what Flemeth suggested is the best idea. These treaties...have you looked at them?”

Kai nodded her head. “I have, while on watch last night. Thank Andraste’s holy knickers, they were in both Trade Tongue and dwarvish, in the case of the Dwarves’ parchment. My dwarvish is, well, lacking. And I’m not much better with Antivan, or Orlesian. The Circle’s treaty made it very easy on me, no magical glyphs or strange secret languages. Nor did the Elves’ scroll, King’s Tongue all the way. ” She made a joke of it to see if she could get him to laugh, at least a little.

Alistair didn’t laugh, but he did give her his lopsided grin. “I can’t say I am good with languages either. Well, there are three main groups that we have the treaties for, as you saw: the dwarves, the elves, and the Circle of Magi.” He shrugged broad shoulders. “I still think that Arl Eamon is our best bet for help. I think we should see him first.”

Kai was inclined to agree with her fellow Warden about Eamon being helpful, though she thought the Circle should be first. She looked to their two other companions. “What do you two think we should do, Morrigan? Daveth?”

The witch jumped in. “Go after your enemy directly. Find this man, Loghain, and kill him. Then this business with the treaties can be done in relative safety.” 

Daveth’s opened his mouth to speak, but was left with it agape as Alistair retorted sarcastically, “Yes, he certainly wouldn’t see that coming. And it’s not like he has the advantage of armies and experience.” 

Daveth winked and shrugged at Kai, whispering to her out of the corner of his mouth, “Not to mention I don’t think they’d let us just march into the ruddy palace and ask to see His Nibs. Of course we could disguise ourselves as Ale merchants or a circus troupe?”

Apparently Morrigan heard the thief despite his attempt to keep it for Kai only. She glared first at the cutpurse, then Alistair. “I was asked for my opinion and I gave it.” She sniffed and put her nose up in the air. “If your wish is to come up with reason why something cannot be done, we will stand here until the darkspawn are upon us.” 

Kai rolled her eyes. “Enough! I value all of your opinions.” Kai turned to the witch. “Morrigan, much as I would love to string Loghain up by his thumbs over a hot fire to find out why he betrayed our King and his country and blamed us for it--before I ran him through, of course-- it’s just not feasible. Please, keep giving your opinions. I was not lying when I told you at your hut to speak your mind.” 

She turned to Alistair and Daveth. “The same goes for the both of you as well.” 

Alistair blushed slightly but smiled. “Fair enough. Let’s head into Lothering then.”

They continued down the ramp. As they reached the bottom, a wall of stench hit them. Apparently the odors didn’t quite reach them on the raised road but on ground level it was almost a living thing. 

Kai couldn’t stop herself, she put a hand over the lower part of her face trying to breath through her mouth. It didn’t help. She spoke through her hand. “Maker’s blood, what is that smell?”

Daveth’s voice spoke sadly, “That, love, is the smell of abject and bone crushing poverty in large numbers shoved into small spaces.” The tone of his voice was knowing and wistful. “This is the smell of my childhood, though that was on a smaller scale.” His eyes trailed over to their right as he waved his hand in the same direction. “And the smell of my adulthood, until Duncan recruited me. I just can’t seem to get away from it entirely though, can I?”

Kai followed his gaze to look at a sea of tents shoved into a space in between the wall of the raised road and the small market area in front of the chantry. “There are slums in Denerim that smell like that. Most particularly the Alienage.” He turned haunted amber eyes on her. “Most often such a perfume would make the Black City proud. It’s often caused by cruelty, laziness, greed, bigotry, and indifference. In this case, I think it’s actually due to the opposite of those things.” He gave her a cynical grin. “These people are running, and this town is trying to help them. But there’s only so much they can do with what they have.” Daveth turned back to the tents and the dirty children playing in the mud. He spoke almost as if to himself. “Ain’t that always the bitter truth?” He laughed and turned a jovial smile on her as if to tell her not to take him seriously, “As me Mam once said, truth has a bitter taste to it, but if you can keep it down, it strengthens you.” 

Kai gave him a sympathetic smile. “And the harsh truth in this case? These people had to leave their homes and most of their belongings behind, and will still have to flee and hope that others will take them in. And those in this town will be doing the same, shortly, if they’re smart. Their numbers, made even greater, will make the likelihood of aid from other towns diminish even further.“ Kai shook her head. She was determined to help as much as she could. 

The first thing she could do was find a way to get the money and stolen goods back to these refugees. That would be a start at least. And the best way she could do that, to her mind, was inform the soldiers of the bann who should be keeping the peace, but seemed to be missing--if the bandits were any indication. They could help ensure that people didn’t make a run on the items and monies, to take what wasn’t really theirs, or more than what belonged to them. 

She voiced this opinion to her companions, but before any of them could reply a cynical bark of laughter echoed across the dusty road from a small park. 

Kai turned to the man in question whose clothes were well worn and whose hands spoke of hard physical labor--the dirt on his clothing and under his nails gave her the impression of farmer. He leaned against a stone pillar, his mouth set in a smile that was more of a grimace due to the hard set of the man’s jaw. 

 

She walked over to him and he raised his chin at her, almost pointing at them all with it. “You don’t look like the other folk fleeing the South.” He tilted his head while his eyes traveled up and down as if taking in her armor and weapons. “And you don’t look Chasind, so you’re not from the Wilds. Well, all but one of you maybe.” This was directed at Morrigan who merely lifted an eyebrow in return. 

His gaze traveled over Alistair, and Daveth in turn, before turning back to Kai. Then his eyes slid to the sword hilt showing over her shoulder and back to her daggers belted at her side. “And you’re not farmers. I’d guess you saw some fighting.”

Kai figured it would be useless to lie to the man but decided to keep his attention on herself. “Yes, I was with the King’s army.”

He grinned. “I thought them that survived already marched north with the teyrn. You must be a survivor or a deserter.” He laughed again. “Lucky you, I guess.”

Kai merely cocked an eyebrow at him. “Mind if I ask you some questions?”

The farmer shrugged at her. “Can’t promise I’m gonna answer them.”

Kai grinned. “That’s fair. Why did you laugh when I suggested finding the Bann’s men?”

The man shook his head, “Those bandits were the best thing that’s happened to Lothering. They kept the rabble out...mostly. Even if Ser Bryant and his lot won’t.”

She gave the man a hard look. “What do you mean? What exactly is going on here?”

He shrugged. “What isn’t? We’ve got Chasind barbarians and every freeholder swarming in running from the darkspawn. You caught the whiff of that heavenly odor, and saw the tents, no doubt.”

He huffed under his breath. “Not that they’ll be safe here with the army gone. That’s why I was laughin’ ya see. Best joke I’ve heard in awhile.”

Kai swallowed hard. “The army is gone? With the teyrn to Denerim? Figures.” She spoke almost to herself as well as her companions. “Loghain would need men after he lost us the battle at Ostagar and let the darkspawn kill what army we had. He has to get a new one somewhere, I suppose. So, Loghain will leave towns and civilians defenseless to do so. Bloody hell!” She pounded a fist into her palm hard enough it caused the farmer to jump slightly.

She turned her ferocious expression on him. “Who is in charge of the village?”

Another roll of hard edged laughter followed this question. “You could talk to the elder, though she’s got her hands full trying to help people get on their way.”

The farmer’s mouth crimped downward as if tasting something sour. “For now, most folks go to Ser Bryant. He’s head of the chantry’s templars here.”

Kai sighed deeply. “Let me guess. Your ruling lord took off to high hat it with Loghain in Denerim?”

“My, my, aren’t you quicker than you look? He’s gone to play war and has taken all his soldiers, leaving us to fend for ourselves.” The man laughed again, as if at some private joke he found immensely funny. “There’s not going to be much left when he returns...if he returns. The sodding bastard.”

Kai nodded, thanked the man, and walked with her companions out of the farmer’s earshot. “Andraste’s flaming knicker weasels! Well, I suppose we need to see this Ser Bryant, he mentioned, or the elder; whichever we find first.” She heaved a huge sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose this time. She felt a headache forming. 

Daveth patted her shoulder in comfort. “Yeah, love, now you know why I’m glad I’m not leadin’ this group.”

“Oh? And I thought you weren’t leading because you are as dull as dishwater and ‘twould find ourselves eaten by bears if you were in charge.” Morrigan’s voice dripped honey.

Daveth merely flashed the witch a cheeky grin which earned him a glare before Morrigan turned on Kai. “Of course the way we are going, we will be rescuing every cat out of every tree. Kai ‘twill need a lost and found box for all the items we find, and a boat to navigate the ocean of tears for all the sob stories we must give aid to.”

Kai couldn’t help but laugh. “Would it help if we compromised? I’ll try to make the sure that at least some of the sob stories are paying ones? I suspect that we’ll need more coin, especially when Winter comes. And for repairs. My guess, being of course, that we will be doing more fighting before it’s all said and done. Maker’s blood, Loghain on one side and the Blight on the other.”

“Brings a whole new meanin’ to ‘rock and a hard place’, don’t it, love?” Daveth winked and grinned. 

Alistair chuckled. “Or how a piece of cheese feels between slices of bread. Hmmm, cheese.” It was at this moment that his stomach grumbled loudly, causing their fellow warden to blush profusely and rub his abdomen. 

Kai laughed, some of the tension that had been building draining away. “Well then, I say we’d best find Ser Bryant or the elder and then find something to eat?” She winked at Alistair making him blush harder. “Since the chantry is sitting just over there...” Kai pointed at the dark wooden building with its stylized sun carvings sitting behind a low stone wall. “I suspect we’ll find Ser Bryant there. Maybe the elder too, if we’re lucky. Though I’m not sure luck wants to be seen with the likes of us, if the way things have been going are any indication.” She sighed again, hitched her pack slightly and walked on towards the the church. 

It turned out Fortune didn’t favor them, and getting to the building itself would prove difficult despite its close proximity. They were stopped by one conversation after the other. A conversation with an elven couple and their child whose belongings and lamb Argus was guarding. With a trip to retrieve same, and the war hound, made them retrace their steps. Added to that was the ruckus caused by a merchant selling items--sold to him by the townsfolk before the impending darkspawn invasion--selling them back to at outrageous prices, of course. That conversation took all of her training as a noble to negotiate. Especially after the man had insulted one of the priestesses of Andraste in front of a group of villagers who looked ready to put the man on a spit and cook him. 

Even once they reached the wall of the chantry there was a brief, and confusing, conversation with a “chanter” who spoke only in verses from the Chant of Light. His short quotes were helpfully translated by a young boy standing nearby--who pointed them at the Chanter’s board with various tasks that needed doing. When the witch started to complain, Kai pointed out that they were for coin, as per her promise. She did have a bit of fun with the chanter, almost tricking the man into saying something outside the chant, but he’d rallied, making her and the little boy with him to laugh and claim he’d cheated.

But once inside the wall with the Chantry a few scant steps away they were thwarted again from their goal. If Kai thought the conversation with the dubious merchant and angry townsfolk tested her skills to their fullest, she was mistaken. The poor crazed Chasind man screaming about the darkspawn feasting on everyone’s hearts and telling villagers to slit the throats of their families to save them from the Horde was the worst. His hysteria was catching and the templar nearby seemed at a loss at how to stop it before a riot broke out. Again, her training kept her in good stead. The poor man’s tale was enough to make her blood run cold, his family dragged away by the darkspawn, and his clan dead or taken underground. It would give her nightmares, she was sure of it. Her sympathy seemed to help, though not with his survivor’s guilt, of which she was only too familiar with. 

Finally, Kai thought as they neared the large carved doors, they were going to get inside the Chantry. Her hopes were dashed when they were stopped once more by the Templar at the door. “If you seek refuge within, there’s simply no room left.”

“You’re closed? But we were told to seek out Ser Bryant or the Elder.” Kai tried not to let her frustration show in her voice.

The man’s eyes were graced with dark circles beneath them, along with worry lines around his mouth. He shook his head wearily. “We turn none aside. But we simply don’t have any room for anyone to sleep. You can try the inn, but I doubt they have any room either. This village is like a bag packed too tight, it’s coming apart at the seams as is, with illnesses cropping up due to the overcrowding.”

“Well, as we assured your fellow templar in the road leading into town, we will camp outside and not inconvenience you all. In fact, we are here to help if we can, before we move on.” Kai grinned hoping to take the irritated edge out of her voice that she knew must be creeping into it.

He gave her, what she thought was a supposed to be a smile in return, but seemed more a grimace instead. “Priests are within if you seek to offer devotion-” This comment had Morrigan snorting, as Kai tried not to roll her eyes. The templar studiously ignored both of their reactions before continuing, “--to the Maker, however. May he protect us all.”

“If the Maker had protected his own home better, we wouldn’t have the darkspawn to deal with in the first place. Better a set of serviceable weapons, good ser.” It was a hand on her shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze--Alistair’s hand--that made her realize she was being...well herself. She blushed and shrugged. “I apologize, the recent goings on, news of the war...”

“Say no more. It has us all on edge, does it not?” He did give her a real grin this time. 

 

Kai nodded. “Who's in charge of this Chantry?”

“We recently lost our head Priestess, and several of our villagers, to the standing water fever. With the war falling to the darkspawn, the Revered Mother managed to escape and make it to us. She is in charge of the Chantry itself, and Ser Bryant is in charge of the templars that are stationed here.The elder is in charge of the town.”

Kai found herself with a sinking sensation in her stomach and her headache getting worse. She turned to her companions while groaning under her breath, “Oh Andraste’s flaming knickers! The Maker’s biddy didn’t fall at Ostagar and is here? Lovely! Fortune not only doesn’t favor us, it downright hates us. Especially me it seems.”

Daveth leaned in. “Problems, love?” Which only caused Kai to narrow her eyes at him.

Alistair interrupted any verbal rejoinder she might have made to the cutpurse. “And me as well. She and I didn’t part on great terms either, as you’ll recall my telling you. She always sided with the Grand Cleric where I was concerned” Alistair grinned at her, “I’m sure her superior still has a cell in Denerim all picked out that has my name on it.”

“I didn’t know the old bird was into those kinds of games, I thought they took a vow of chastity. A waste of the fun if you ask me, love.” Daveth winked.

“No one did ask you, buffoon.” Morrigan glared at the cut purse. “Might we go and see this Ser Bryant, avoid this woman that vexes you, and then get something to eat and a place to rest. ‘Tis a small request, when compared to, say all of the most urgent mewlings of the townsfolk, no?” 

Kai bit her lip to keep from laughing. “It is a modest request, I think. Any suggestions on where to do this since the chantry is full?”

“Might I suggest the local tavern? I suspect it might be too full for sleeping, but some of the local farmers brought in all their stores and some of the men brought in a couple of young bear that had been getting closer to town.” The templar at the door broke in. “The place is called ‘Dane’s Refuge’, my lady. And while bear meat isn’t my favorite, it is filling and there should be plenty.”

Kai nodded and thanked him before motioning for the other to follow as she opened the door and stepped inside.


End file.
